Holiday pictures and the penis

I have spent the last two days with my family.

I won’t lie: it was fun.

I pulled out the Pictionary game, and spent several hours (that game never ends!) playing on a team with my daughter, my 8 year old son, my 14 year old son, and my mom.
We played against my 16 year old son, my husband Wayne, and my brother.

My team lost both times we played.
Why?
Because my team mates were fixated on the penis.
No. Nobody had one hanging out.
However, when attempting to guess every picture, this is what was being shouted out:

“It’s a stick man!”

“It’s a stick man with a penis!”

“It’s a furry penis!”

“It’s a broken penis!”

“Are those his balls? Nod if those are his balls!”

“Is it a penis? Nod if it’s a penis!”

Of course not one single picture drawn was of a penis, furry or otherwise.
Pictionary is good, clean family fun.

I had to draw the word: enlarge.

I drew a little stick man followed by a picture of a bigger stick man.
Nobody guessed right.

So I drew a stick figure holding a picture on which was a little stick man; then I drew a stick figure holding a BIGGER picture of a little stick man.
Still nobody guessed right.

Afterwards, Wayne said, “See, this is when drawing a penis would have come in handy.”

Even I’m sick of the word ‘penis’….I know, you never thought you’d see those words written in my blog.

And since I’ve spent two days being all about the family, here are a few holiday pics of me.
Just ’cause I’m actually wearing something other than my holy yoga pants (and by holy, I don’t mean having anything to do with the baby Jesus.)



And if you haven’t yet read about me flipping my kids the bird, head on over here.

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47 Responses to Holiday pictures and the penis
  1. Chris
    December 26, 2011 | 3:14 am

    I thought it would be hard to live up to the post title but you did. Impressive as fuck!!

  2. floyd
    December 26, 2011 | 4:09 am

    good fun, really.

    the losing team should do all the cleaning at the end of the Boxing Day

  3. Alison@Mama Wants This
    December 26, 2011 | 7:39 am

    Your family is awesomely fun!!

    And you’re smokin’ hot as always ;)

  4. Kyna
    December 26, 2011 | 8:08 am

    Had to post the link to this one on my FB page, to show them there there are other people out there like me.

    Yesterday I got a new Nook e-reader for Christmas, and all of my family was over and I was talking about it. My 15 year old stepdaughter says, “Yeah, but she isn’t going to use it for reading.” I said, “Yeah? What am I going to use it for then?” “Porn.” she said.

    Awesome. ‘Cause she’s right.

  5. Karie McRae
    December 26, 2011 | 8:53 am

    You all have fun personalities…not up tight. Love it.

    btw – You look beautiful. Have a Happy New Year.

  6. julianna
    December 26, 2011 | 8:54 am

    Serously? Enlarge? And you didn’t think to draw a penis with a pump? Or a man with a penis and a hot babe next to him?

    I’m very disappointed in you Sandra. :)

  7. Gigi
    December 26, 2011 | 8:59 am

    Good, clean family fun! Nothing can beat it.

  8. Bouncin Barb
    December 26, 2011 | 10:25 am

    You are just gorgeous. I love the picture of you and Wayne. Glad you had a great Christmas. Love you!!

  9. Ian
    December 26, 2011 | 10:47 am

    You look beautiful in your photos.

    Your game of pictionary sounds like a lot of fun. I assume your 8 year old knows about the birds and bee’s to be so comfortable with shouting it out.

  10. sparkling74
    December 26, 2011 | 11:10 am

    I love, love, love pictionary but never once has PENIS be yelled during one of our games. That word sure comes out a lot in your house. I’d be sick of it too!

  11. Mayor Gia
    December 26, 2011 | 11:10 am

    Hahahah that sounds like a lot of fun. That being said, I would NOT be able to hang out with my family talking about penis. Just too awkward for me.

  12. Mrs. Tuna
    December 26, 2011 | 12:38 pm

    Well duh, of course Wayne didn’t get enlarge. He’s already one big swinging dick.

  13. KINGOFNEWYORKHACKS
    December 26, 2011 | 12:47 pm

    Wow great pics and story…Pictionary Penis always brings out the holiday smiles in people ! Ha ! Have a great New Year ! Cheers from NYC !

  14. Pam
    December 26, 2011 | 2:32 pm

    Oh gosh. Y’all would fit right in with us on the game playing issue. I have no idea how they guess the things they do but holy crap! I have to read about the bird flipping because I just did that to our 20 year old and the lovelies have never seen me do that before- to them anyway. LOL

  15. Sable@SquatLikeALady
    December 26, 2011 | 2:54 pm

    You look incredible!! You can really see the rounded caps of your shoulders — HOT!! :D

    Your team sounds about as mature as my team, consisting of 2 22-year-olds and 2 20-year-olds, acted while playing charades in the entryway to Grammie’s rehab center on Christmas Day. I am pretty sure more than a couple of people turned around and drove off thinking they were at the wrong KIND of rehab center.

  16. The Bearded Iris
    December 26, 2011 | 2:54 pm

    OMG, I LOVE IT. My daughter and I would fit right in on your team! You should hear us make meatballs, or perform at church functions, or eat popsicles.

  17. Coffeypot
    December 26, 2011 | 3:10 pm

    Man, I HATE the word ‘Penis.’ It’s a DICK forchristsake. Baby’s have penises.

  18. Lin
    December 26, 2011 | 3:40 pm

    Im awful at picture games…awful. Also, you look great & I love the bangs :)

  19. Kyla
    December 26, 2011 | 4:35 pm

    You had me at penis.

  20. Ashley
    December 26, 2011 | 5:20 pm

    Hey there! I just wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award, congrats! Check this entry for details: http://loveashley.net/2011/12/26/i-would-like-to-thank-the-blogging-academy/

    Hope you are having a happy holiday!

  21. So. Cal. Gal
    December 26, 2011 | 5:25 pm

    Penis!

    I thought you wouldn’t mind ‘hearing’ the word one more time before the end of the year. ; )

  22. Kimberly
    December 26, 2011 | 5:41 pm

    First of all, Merry Christmas! And I think it’s a rule of Pictionary that all guesses be vulgar. :) You look gorgeous as always!

  23. Lola
    December 26, 2011 | 7:24 pm

    This comment is not meant as a criticism because we all know how beautiful you are, but I think you are even prettier when your hair is a bit lighter. You kinda look you’re goin’ goth. No black lipstick, please.

    Love,
    Lola

  24. Tara @ Sweat like a Pig
    December 26, 2011 | 7:59 pm

    Woo I love your capped shoulders!

  25. Jo-Anne
    December 26, 2011 | 8:21 pm

    But you had fun and that is the most important thing even if they had a thing about peniss

  26. Belle
    December 26, 2011 | 9:05 pm

    That is one gorgeous dress in the first photo and you look soo pretty in all the pics! We have been playing games too and kids are very funny to play with although since the kids here are girls so there was no talk of penises. However, my granddaughter got a video game where the cowboy says, “I hear ranch girls like to get it in the rear.”

  27. XLMIC
    December 26, 2011 | 9:48 pm

    I wish you’d taken a photo of the pictionary pictures! I can totally see this happening! You look lovely :)

  28. Ginger
    December 26, 2011 | 11:54 pm

    Happy Holidays to you penises pictionaries and pretty awesome you!

  29. Tracie
    December 27, 2011 | 12:44 am

    I think we need a little blog game of pictionary.

    Please draw some pictures for us!

    Your pictures are gorgeous!!

  30. Ally
    December 27, 2011 | 1:08 am

    I love games that go like that – of course, I want to be on the other team so I can make fun ;-)

  31. Symdaddy
    December 27, 2011 | 3:15 am

    Penises are banned in our house over the festive period.

    The mention of them, not the actual dangly-bits.

    But … isn’t there always a ‘but’ … my mother-in-law will always turn every conversation or party game into something akin to ‘pin the dick on the arse-hole’.

  32. A Daft Scots Lass
    December 27, 2011 | 4:05 am

    Merry Christmas and all that jazz.

  33. Tempo
    December 27, 2011 | 6:25 am

    I don’t like the word Penis…or should I say Australia doesn’t like the word Penis… Such things have to be made fun of here… So it’s Thumper, whopper …or if your female, pickle, winkle etc…
    Never miss a chance to make a joke of someone’s genitalia…(Its a rule!)

  34. Emeka Amakeze
    December 27, 2011 | 7:13 am

    Good clean family fun. . . Nothing is like it!

  35. Kande
    December 27, 2011 | 10:59 am

    Here is funniest part of the story to me. WE were playing Pictionary Jr i.e. Pictionary specifically for children (with my Mom, 8 year old, 2 year old, myself and my husband) this week. I try to draw a frog on a lilypad and my Mom guesses “sperm!” to which I stop drawing in disbelief, not bc of the word per se, but because “Yes Mom, sperm that is of course the most logical answer in KIDS PICTIONARY!” and then she was laughing too hard to continue, as was my husband because I followed up with a sarcastic “and the NEXT one will be vagina I’m sure” which then started the baby in repeating “Vagiiiina, vagiiiina” over and over and well, yeah. I’m sure we made baby Jesus real proud that night! :)

  36. meleah rebeccah
    December 27, 2011 | 1:16 pm

    Man, y’all have so much fun together. And you look positively beautiful in the photos!

  37. StoriesAndSweetPotatoes
    December 27, 2011 | 1:19 pm

    Lol. Of course if you did draw a penis everyone would think it was something else.

  38. nitebyrd
    December 27, 2011 | 1:27 pm

    Having fun with ones family for longer than 15 minutes, with or without penises, is a true Christmas miracle to me.

    Glad yours was good!

  39. Angie Uncovered
    December 27, 2011 | 3:10 pm

    You so purdy! :) I’m glad you had a great holiday and even more glad that another family exists that throws around genitalia terms as easily as mine!

  40. My Inner Chick
    December 27, 2011 | 3:44 pm

    What family fun! Talking about the penis and balls and such…. haaaa

    That’s what families are for, aren’t they?

    Great photos ! x

  41. Nicky
    December 27, 2011 | 7:32 pm

    Well then, in a show of solidarity, I will henceforth ban the word penis from my vocabulary. That’s right, no more saying penis. I will never say penis again, nor will I write the word penis. Sincerely. No more penis. I won’t even think about the word penis anymore. Penis. :-)

    And damn, girl! Nice pics, and not a penis to be found in any of them.

    Oops.

  42. andréa
    December 28, 2011 | 12:39 am

    i’m hoping i never have to mention penis in my blog again.

    something tells me it’s not going to happen

  43. Lesley
    December 28, 2011 | 7:52 am

    That is hilarious! OMG……sounds like it started in the gutter, and just never crawled its way out! My husbands family would be right there too….stopping by from SITS!

  44. Julie
    December 28, 2011 | 10:55 am

    Oh pshaw. That’s what Pictionary was invented for.

    And you are lookin’ hawt, Sandra. Woo Woo.

  45. Lila
    December 28, 2011 | 12:33 pm

    Too funny – I love having silliness with the kids as they get older. Mine are fixated on similar parts, and we actually tease my 13 year old about liking boobies. So immature, I know.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

  46. Kelley
    December 28, 2011 | 6:14 pm

    Did you say the P word????? Ahhhh!! Just kidding. Penis. I loved this post, as usual. Your dress is so stinkin’ cute!

  47. michelle
    December 30, 2011 | 9:55 pm

    they were right, this one called for the penis

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