No, I didn’t come up with the clever title on my own.
I stole it from an episode of Sex in the City in which Carrie falls flat on her face on the runway during a big NYC fashion show, and one of the gay guy’s says something along the lines of “Oh my God. She’s fashion roadkill.”
I may end up being fashion roadkill. During my bikini competition in March.
I can’t walk in heels for the life of me.
Sadly, I’m not that elegant lady walking down the street in expensive stilletoes.
I traipse around in Uggs and running shoes.
I have no fashion sense.
I’m the girl who calls you before going out to ask, “What are you wearing? Can you wear something else, so I can borrow that?” because I don’t have a clue what looks good and what doesn’t.
…ahem…I’m that chick that keeps commenting over at Carri’s from Mommy’s Little Monster Blake that I think Uggs and booty shorts are super cute together.
Anyway, the day after my competition, I will be photographed by David Ford.
I need a wardrobe for this. I need to put together outfits that I want to be photographed in…well, not really outfits, because it’s the day after the bikini contest, I’m pretty much going to want to be half naked to show off, ’cause that’s what I do.
So I emailed my coach and asked her for suggestions. She told me to have a look in the Victoria’s Secret website, maybe that would give me ideas.
So I went to the website, browsed around, and what to my wondering eyes did appear (no, I didn’t make that up either, I stole that from The Night Before Christmas) but the boot section.
I love boots. I mean, I’m pretty sure I love them more than the average person. Like probably more than anyone in the world.
I could totally make that work.
During the shoot, I can paw in the direction of the camera, and be all, “Rawr! Rawr! I’m a leopard!”
That’s not awkward, right?