Just because I say dirty words does not mean I will send you nudie pics!

Ok, before I get into an explanation of the title of this post, I’d like to start off by supporting one of my best bloggy friends, Poppy from Funny or Snot
Ok, she may not think of ME as her bloggy best friend since she’s choosing to do the Susan G. Klomen 3-Day Race for the Cure with another one of our bloggy ladies Mommakiss, rather than getting shit-faced with me meeting me at the BlogHer conference this summer.

But I’m not going to get all adolescent on her ass and do the “you like her better than me” post.
Instead, I’m going to ask you to support this worthy cause and click over here to donate a little somethin’ somethin’ so together with Poppy we can help fight this disease.

Alrighty…

So back to the title of this post…

Despite the bikini shots and the photos of me all smiley and flirty-flirty, making love to the digital camera, I am not a lovey-dovey person.
In other words, I’m not good with intimacy.

I don’t like holding hands.
I’m really uncomfortable with compliments…oh, don’t look so shocked!
I especially don’t like having my face touched or my hair tousled affectionately.
Touch my hair, I’ll cut you…ok, I won’t, but that sounds so hardcore, right?

The point is, I’m super uncomfortable with touchy-feely, emotions, love and shit…

The other day while Wayne and I were driving, I said, “Don’t you think of yoga as a female thing?”
He said, “No.”
I said, “Well, I do. I don’t know how the men manage to get through a practice with all those women bending over in front of them. How are men supposed to hold a pose when there’s a big hard-on throwing off their center of gravity.”

“You think men are in there checking out your ass?” Wayne replied. ”They are NOT. They’re busy doing yoga.”
“Oh I KNOW they’re checking out my ass,” I replied. ”I catch them looking at me in the mirror and they have this “I’d like to tap that ass” look in their eyes.”
….yes, I know I say ‘tap that ass’ a lot. I like how it sounds. And it unnerves my husband.

Wayne said, “Nobody is checking you out. Nobody is wanting to tap your ass.”

“So you’re telling me, that if some lady with a great butt was bending over in front of you, and was contorted in such a way that left nothing to the imagination, you wouldn’t be thinking of tapping her ass?”

Lady with a great butt bending over and contorted in such a way that leaves nothing to the imagination

image from here

“No. I wouldn’t.”

So I asked, “Do you ever look at other women and think about tapping their ass?”
He replied, “Not during hockey playoffs.”

See.
That conversation right there?
That’s as intimate as we get.

But based on this picture that I posted the other day…

…I have misrepresented myself as this uber sexual creature who runs around naked, letting people snap pictures of me.

You’re confused? Me too!
Because the other day after my last post, I got an email from Mr. Creepy Guy asking for nudie pics.

Actually, that’s not true…
…he didn’t say: “Hi! Send me nudie pics!”
He said he would like to SWAP nudie pics!
Ewwww!
Nooooo!

The funniest part of the email was that according to the picture above, he could just TELL that I must have nudie pics on hand.

Really????

Because in the picture above, I’m wearing a turtle neck.
I think the only thing you could TELL about that, is that I’m cold a lot and I really should move to a warmer climate.

So in case Mr. Creepy Guy IS reading my blog, here’s a message: I may like to say “ass” a lot. But I don’t like showing it.
Now fuck off.

Did you like this? Share it:
109 Responses to Just because I say dirty words does not mean I will send you nudie pics!
  1. DysFUNctional Mom
    April 26, 2011 | 1:16 am

    Of all the pics you post, THAT'S the one that sends an “i have nudies to send you!” message?
    What a weirdo.

  2. Rebecca
    April 26, 2011 | 1:19 am

    Ewooohhh and I bet he has scary photos. Yuck. Sorry you were approached with THAT!

  3. XLMIC
    April 26, 2011 | 1:19 am

    OMG… this is too funny! Gives the term “blog stalker” a whole new meaning… or twist… if you do crazy yoga ;-)

    You should totally do a google images search for some either really raunchy pics of a pornstar or really skanky gross pics of someone else to send to Mr. Creepy Guy… or not. Yeah, best to not encourage Mr. Creepy Guy.

    All of my nudie pictures are of me enormously pregnant… lol. Do most people have nudie pictures of themselves?

  4. Sparkling
    April 26, 2011 | 1:20 am

    WOW. I feel a little left out that no one has solicited my nudie pictures. Oh wait, I don't have any nudie pictures. Yeah, nothing says hottie like a turtleneck tunic.

  5. Annabelle
    April 26, 2011 | 1:21 am

    Yikes! Ewe! And Hell Fucking NO!

  6. Bouncin' Barb
    April 26, 2011 | 1:21 am

    He probably read your post about how we love each other and is getting all kinds of images in his head. Why does there always have to be an asshole in every crowd? You are sexy by the way!!!! Even in a crown or a turtleneck! Hugs sweet lady!

  7. Missy
    April 26, 2011 | 1:22 am

    I think I love you! LOL
    I like to say ass and other things!

  8. Julianna
    April 26, 2011 | 1:24 am

    Men are so weird.

    And Almost Hubs is constantly telling me he wants to tap my ass during hockey playoffs…

    …maybe if Wayne was thinking about tapping ass, the Canadians would be doing better against our Bruins. :)

    I'm sorry, I had to go there. We're Bruins fans (Hello? we're from Boston) Do you hate ne now?
    -J

  9. Amber
    April 26, 2011 | 1:25 am

    Clearly you're giving the camera, “I have full intentions of ripping this turtle neck off and posing for 100 more pictures after this” eyes.

    Actually, since it's your daughter taking the picture maybe it's just a, “Shut your face I don't care how hungry you are just take a decent picture” eyes.

    Either way, it's concerning that a random dude would just come out and ask for pictures like that, is the concept of courting totally dead?!

  10. Misfits Vintage
    April 26, 2011 | 1:35 am

    Boys are weak, chuck em in the creek. Girls are strong, like King Kong.

    Put THAT on a tshirt, Mr Creepypants.

    And Jesus WEPT what is that woman doing in that yoga pic?????

    Sarah xxx

  11. Mom Went Crazy
    April 26, 2011 | 1:41 am

    Can you imagine?? If he sends his nudie pics to you first, please do a post on it!! lol I will just die!

  12. Sorta Southern Single Mom
    April 26, 2011 | 1:42 am

    Oh my word! I am dying here.. this is too funny! not to laugh at your distress, but this is hysterical… and I agree with the yoga…

  13. Making It Work Mom
    April 26, 2011 | 1:44 am

    Oh My God! Swap Nudie Pictures! I am dying.

  14. Kjbikakis
    April 26, 2011 | 1:57 am

    bahahahaha nuddie picks!
    i bet thats like some 65 year old creeper dude whos prbly old enough to be a grandparent to your kids! haha thats so creepy!!
    Thanks for making my day! (:
    Your posts always do ^^

  15. Brandy Rose
    April 26, 2011 | 2:01 am

    There's a few of the other bloggers I follow getting creepy guy emails. I'm kinda glad I'm not and also kinda wondering how come I don't have a creepy guy of my own.

  16. bubbles
    April 26, 2011 | 2:01 am

    I <3 this post!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best ever!!!!

  17. Chanel
    April 26, 2011 | 2:10 am

    I hate having my hair and face touched, too. It rubs me the wrong way and I physically recoil.

    Your picture does not in any way suggest that you have nudie pics. It's a TURTLENECK.

    I had a gay friend tell me once that, “No matter how adorable you think you look in that turtleneck, sweetie, it says 'I don't want you to touch me' to a man when you're on a date. I don't care if it's negative twelve degrees outside, wear that and you won't get a second one.”

    Who thinks that picture suggests nudie pictures? No way!

  18. Alessandra
    April 26, 2011 | 2:10 am

    Tell creepo to get off the blogosphere, better yet send him a nudie picture…of Wayne!

  19. Alessandra
    April 26, 2011 | 2:10 am

    Tell creepo to get off the blogosphere, better yet send him a nudie picture…of Wayne!

  20. The Onion
    April 26, 2011 | 2:15 am

    I think you should have said “you first” and then posted it. Har!

    Think he would still fall for it?

    Check out the creepy dudes who have lurked after my librarian-esque Facebook photo. One has to wonder if this is EVER successful?

    http://alotoflayers.blogspot.com/2011/01/social-awkwardness-of-social-networking.html

  21. Maggie
    April 26, 2011 | 2:16 am

    Oh god! People are just scary/creepy! Hope that bugger goes away!!

  22. From Tracie
    April 26, 2011 | 2:19 am

    Fuck off creepy guy!

    For real. That is disturbing……slightly hilarious….but disturbing!

    I totally agree with you about the yoga. If my husband was in yoga? I'm really pretty sure he would not be thinking meditative thoughts.

  23. Nicky
    April 26, 2011 | 2:22 am

    What? Wait, you have NO nudie pics to share, like, at all? But you say ass and do yoga! And you wear a TURTLENECK!!!! You are such a tease. Well, now I have no reason to keep visiting your blog, do I? ;-)

  24. Rita
    April 26, 2011 | 2:24 am

    Creepy Guy gets turned on by turtlenecks? Must be from Canada or northern U.S. ;)

  25. Captain Dumbass
    April 26, 2011 | 2:34 am

    It is hockey season…

  26. Coffeypot
    April 26, 2011 | 2:39 am

    From that yogi picture, I can imagine all kinds of things…especially with her camel-toe hanging out like an empty taco shell. And you DON'T have nude pictures? Might as well close my YouTube account then. Also, if you are so against touchy-feely, romantic stuff, how did you get all those kids? Turkey baster?

  27. Erin
    April 26, 2011 | 2:41 am

    The end of your post where you tell Mr. Creepy Guy to fuck off had me cracking up! Yeah, if a turtleneck sweater doesn't scream nudie-sex-show-off-your-ass-now, I don't know WHAT does! ;)

  28. colenic
    April 26, 2011 | 2:44 am

    Isn't it amazing the things that people think they can ask for over the internet. This one took a really creepy situation and made me laugh out loud!! Thanks!

  29. bluzdude
    April 26, 2011 | 2:50 am

    What? YOU don't have any nudie pictures of yourself?

    Would you like me to send you some?

  30. Portia
    April 26, 2011 | 2:51 am

    Amazing! Must be all that talk about having KIDS that is the turn-on. Jeez

    Creepy, creepy!

  31. Amy
    April 26, 2011 | 2:52 am

    HA! That is so funny! In a creepy sort of way. Now my question is, how on earth did you get him as a reader?

  32. Big a
    April 26, 2011 | 2:55 am

    the forty year old living in his parents' basement doesn't really get that we're not all here for his pleasure …

    maybe when he gets out on his own, he may figure it out

  33. The Empress
    April 26, 2011 | 3:06 am

    yuk.

    how did mr creepy guy find you?

    really.

    a mommy blogger.

  34. Ameena
    April 26, 2011 | 3:10 am

    I'm very confused by the creepy guy…very confused.

    On the other hand, I totally get you about holding hands! It's totally overrated. And a bit high school-ish if you ask me…

  35. Madeline
    April 26, 2011 | 3:11 am

    Yuck yuck yuck!!

    How did Mr Creep even find you?

    I like the idea of pretending to swap pics, getting his , posting them on your blog (LOL) and not giving any back to him…

    but I'm a bitch like that…… :P

  36. Queen B
    April 26, 2011 | 3:24 am

    hahaha. um, he sounds desperate. turtleneck should not lead to nudie pic requests!

    that yoga pose is a-freaking-mazing

  37. Red Shoes
    April 26, 2011 | 3:43 am

    (Note to self: Don't ask for nudie pics…)

    :o D

    ~shoes~

  38. Lady Mama
    April 26, 2011 | 3:58 am

    Because you were wearing a turtle neck you must like swapping nudie pics? Er.. that is equally weird and amusing.

  39. SkippyMom
    April 26, 2011 | 4:04 am

    Oh hell – after the “clacking balls” post your site was labelled porn.

    I know. I checked.

    ::running off:: giggle

  40. Rachel
    April 26, 2011 | 4:04 am

    Mr. Creepy Guy obviously has not been laid in awhile. A man who sees a turtleneck and thinks 'naked photos' is more than a little desperate. Not to mention the obnoxious entitled attitude…seriously, who e-mails someone they never met for a nude-photo-swap? As if it is the most natural thing in the world?

  41. Anita @ GoingALittleCoastal
    April 26, 2011 | 4:05 am

    Maybe he has a thing for wools and knits. Throw on a scarf and he may just lose it.

  42. Ruth @Welcome to me
    April 26, 2011 | 4:25 am

    Maybe it's the whole less is more thing.

  43. The Absence of Alternatives
    April 26, 2011 | 4:41 am

    At least the guy is a sharer. Just sayin' LOL.

  44. Yvonne
    April 26, 2011 | 4:42 am

    The turtleneck shot is what got you asked for nudie pics? Seriously? Oh and I happen to love turtlenecks. Especially black ones. On those rare two days of winter that we have, I rock those turtlenecks!

  45. Jenner
    April 26, 2011 | 4:46 am

    I get that, too!! I'm not shy and I love having my picture taken and am outgoing, so guys automatically assume I'm ready to sext them on Facebook. Guys that KNOW me in real life. Guys who know my scary HUSBAND in real life. I mean, wtf?

  46. Poppy
    April 26, 2011 | 5:04 am

    I'd love to see a nudie picture, but I just didn't have the balls to ask. Thanks again for all the love. I'm not even talented enough to figure out how to put a button on my sidebar. I'm such a dumbass.

  47. injaynesworld
    April 26, 2011 | 5:12 am

    I may be your soul sister. I totally have intimacy issues. It's only recently that I can stand a manicure. Seriously, if you're a stranger DO NOT TOUCH me and if you're a friend… make it quick.

  48. Jessica
    April 26, 2011 | 5:23 am

    I've heard turtlenecks are the new bikini.

  49. A Daft Scots Lass
    April 26, 2011 | 6:08 am

    Hell, I'll tap yer arse if you can bend into that position.

    Creepy enough for you??

  50. Raven
    April 26, 2011 | 8:06 am

    Why do men always want to send nudie pics? If I had a quarter for every guy who sent me a picture of his dick I'd be richer than The Donald. I'm sorry (actually I'm not) but there is nothing attractive about a dick. It serves a function that can be fun, but it's not pretty to look at. So please, guys, keep your dicks to yourselves!!

  51. becca
    April 26, 2011 | 9:46 am

    Ewww to mr. creepy like Hell to the No on the nudie pics. that's just like real creepy.

  52. Peevie Juice
    April 26, 2011 | 10:12 am

    Some fans you've got.

    But intimacy is nice OK. Howww don't you like it?

    And your husband is hockey obsessed.

  53. Deborah
    April 26, 2011 | 11:22 am

    Your hubs is lying. Not that actually think of the TAPPING part, but they look. I've done random surveys of the guys in my life for YEARS cuz I'm curious. They just can't help it. Your hubs is adorable though.

    Mr. Creepy Guy is creepy! That's the part that squidges me out a bit about blogging. The random searches that people can do and find you and bug you.

    But we can always delete yes? Lots of deleting. Heh!

  54. Lemons Don't Make Lemonade
    April 26, 2011 | 11:24 am

    Hilarious!!!

    Well, at least you know someone out there appreciates your ass. :D

  55. EmptyNester
    April 26, 2011 | 11:41 am

    Sandra- you are freaking hilarious!

  56. Gigi
    April 26, 2011 | 11:43 am

    From what rock did Mr. Creepy Guy crawl out from under?? Ewwww. Seriously, what is wrong with people?

  57. Ang
    April 26, 2011 | 12:10 pm

    Amen!

    I'd love to support your friend financially, but I already have several ladies who I donate to that do the 3-day walk… I must stay committed to them (unless I win the lottery, in which case, I will come back and donate to her as well). However, I would just like to say that I think what she is doing is amazing and I thank her for supporting such an awesome cause!

  58. Debbie
    April 26, 2011 | 12:15 pm

    That turtleneck is fairly scandalous:)

  59. Greg
    April 26, 2011 | 12:34 pm

    Now I'm jealous I've been posting pictures of me in turtlenecks, doing yoga in tights and I've been using ass in every post and still no one wants my naked pictures?

    Uh I mean I'd make them if someone asked..

    Oh wait I have to wait for hockey season!

  60. Toriz
    April 26, 2011 | 12:56 pm

    Oh, please… Any guy would at least be looking – whether they liked what they saw or not – if any female was bent over in front of them. My hubby tried to tell me otherwise; guess he thinks I was born yesterday? Fair enough if they're saying, “well, I looked, but I wouldn't want that”… I can believe that. But not even looking? Yeah, right… Pull the other one!

    As for your creepy guy… Don't take it personally… I got a marriage proposal based on a photo I posted of myself in PJs and a dressing gown with my cat sat on my shoulder and my dog on my lap. I didn't accept it – hell, I didn't even know the person's name, and had never (to my knowledge) spoken to him before – but I'm just saying… Some people are weird. Just ignore them. And, maybe, laugh at their stupidity a bit (if you want to). I mean, come on, how can you think someone is sexy when all you can see is their head, a really fluffy dressing gown, a pet cat, and a dog? LOL!

  61. Mark
    April 26, 2011 | 12:59 pm

    You know, I check out women's asses all the time and never, have I thought, “Damn, I'd like to tap that ass!”. I'm just saying.
    Do straight guys really do yoga? That's so gay! m.

  62. j-tony
    April 26, 2011 | 1:02 pm

    Yeah we look. We all look. No matter what the size or where we're at, we look.

  63. Jenn
    April 26, 2011 | 1:03 pm

    Hahaha! Men are pigs! And, there's no way I could do yoga with a guy behind me cause I'd think the same thing!

  64. Katie Potter
    April 26, 2011 | 1:19 pm

    lol That's totally what that picture says! Don't you hate crap like that? I once had a guy track me down from my picture on my photographers website….
    Maybe I should be complimented… but I'm not… I'm creeped out.
    Ok maybe in a sick way a little complimented.
    But mostly creeped out.

  65. Heather
    April 26, 2011 | 1:47 pm

    Well I hope that takes care of that. AND..
    When will men realize a naked man does not do for a woman what a naked woman does for a man.
    AND…
    don't forget we are exclusive illicit lovers. If you send the guy a pic it is like cheating!!

  66. The WholeFamDamily
    April 26, 2011 | 2:23 pm

    oh my goodnASS, what a weirdo, and i mean that lady…now onto the creepy guy. obviously he would tap any ass at this point if seeing a woman in a turtleneck gave him his jollies in hopes for more. FREAK-o! didn't i hear it here before? he's a total douche canoe…
    and i need to move to a warmer climate too, not just to run around nakey, but so i can NOT be in 6mo + of winter, sooooo lame!! i'm a Cali girl, what am i doing in frozen tundra land? sigh…

  67. MommaKiss
    April 26, 2011 | 2:32 pm

    You know she loves me better. I want the adolescent post.

    Seriously, thanks a MIL for the support to um, support boobies!!!

  68. Kim
    April 26, 2011 | 2:56 pm

    This is why I never post any pictures unless I am covered in AT LEAST seven blankets, wearing long underwear, and toe socks.

    It's just logical.

  69. Jessica B
    April 26, 2011 | 3:26 pm

    OK, OMG, that is hysterical. In a creepy stalker-ish kind of way. Way to go on calling out that loser!

  70. NerdyRedneck Rob
    April 26, 2011 | 3:50 pm

    “”So you're telling me, that if some lady with a great butt was bending over in front of you, and was contorted in such a way that left nothing to the imagination, you wouldn't be thinking of tapping her ass?”

    Of COURSE he said no! We men are conditioned from puberty by you ladies to lie our asses off. Every man KNOWS if you even think about answering a question like that honestly and you will GET skinned alive and maybe even have to eat a little of it!

    Then you gals all say “Why aren't men more honest”!

  71. LOLA
    April 26, 2011 | 4:46 pm

    NONONONONONONONO! I also say fuck you to him, but first, tell him to send his pic and then you will send yours. You get his pic and post it and we will all laugh our asses off and make fun of his teeny-tiny winky and of course you will not send a pic of you. Be afraid, Creepy Guy. Be very afraid.

    Love,
    Lola

  72. Tipsy - tipsyreader.com
    April 26, 2011 | 5:03 pm

    Eww, sorry bout the creeper!

  73. Monkey Man
    April 26, 2011 | 5:08 pm

    How dare you reject my offer for swapping photos so publicly….okay, I joke.

    Creepy doesn't even begin to cover that topic. The sad part of it is there are probably women out there, er, I mean, oot there who take him up on the offer. Not creepy….sick.

  74. powdergirl
    April 26, 2011 | 5:11 pm

    “Not during play-offs”. Very cute : )

    You're such a funny girl, do you want to exchange nude pics with me?

    The guy probably just misconstrued the whole “Friendly Manitoba” thing.

  75. Mandy_Fish
    April 26, 2011 | 6:02 pm

    Everyone knows that the black turtleneck sweater is the sluttiest of sweaters. You should have worn a pink crew neck sweater with a dickie.

  76. meleah rebeccah
    April 26, 2011 | 6:30 pm

    I am NOT touchy-feely either. Not even a little. And, I will FREAK OUT if someone touches my hair.

    I can't believe some douchebag had the nerve to ask you to exchange nudie pictures. Ew! What the hell is wrong with guys?

  77. The Girl Next Door
    April 26, 2011 | 7:17 pm

    1) Wayne is lying – good for him
    2) Mr. Creepy is hilarious
    3) But you have to give Mr. Creepy props b/c that photo of you is GORGEOUS so he is clearly one of those “If I say it therefore it is true” guys.

    Hilarious post.

  78. Jumble Mash
    April 26, 2011 | 7:20 pm

    Hahaha this is awesome.

  79. Lin
    April 26, 2011 | 7:23 pm

    Oh please, you totally know what you're doing in that photo. Strutting your stuff in that black turtle neck, wearing that nude colored lipstick…I dont know about you but that totally says 'I'll send you nude photos…yes you Mr. Creepy Guy *wink*' to me.

    lol What a freaking creeeper. Who sends a freaking creepy email like that? Ew…

  80. Krissy
    April 26, 2011 | 7:29 pm

    I must say you attract a strange lot, but then it makes for great posts for us to read! Wait, I was attracted to your posts, so what does that say? Well, I never asked for nudie pics! :)

    I loved the conversation with hubby. I think you two were definitely made for each other.

  81. Suniverse
    April 26, 2011 | 8:07 pm

    GAH!

    Although, he did say SWAP, so you would have gotten something out of it.

    Something disgusting and resistant to penicillin, but still.

    So gross.

  82. NerdyRedneck Rob
    April 26, 2011 | 8:08 pm

    I have an internal i-pod and it just plays music according to what I see/hear/feel.

    When I saw that yoga shot That old Rolling Stones tune with the line, “Life is like a taco party on the street” just jumped into my head.

    I can't help it. It's Steve Jobs fault!

  83. PBJdreamer
    April 26, 2011 | 8:24 pm

    I don't believe your husband. I think EVERY man in yoga is thinking that of just about every woman in there.

    Nudie pix guy?

    BLOCK him.

    Also? Make your FB page private and you won't get that kind of creeper, girl!

    that is all

  84. Julie
    April 26, 2011 | 9:07 pm

    I can imagine it stems from the photo of your bedroom door. That screams “kinky!” all over it.

  85. Bring Pretty Back
    April 26, 2011 | 9:31 pm

    EWWW! I wouldn't want to swap anything with that kook!

    What a creepy feeling , huh!
    Hugs to you,
    Have a pretty day!
    Kristin

  86. Stephanie
    April 26, 2011 | 9:54 pm

    So it's video you have then. :)

    Haha.

  87. Jessi
    April 26, 2011 | 10:28 pm

    You're hialrious! What a creep – I have no idea how turtle neck translates to nudie pics, but then again I'm not a creeper.

    I'm your newest follower. :)

  88. RinaMarie
    April 26, 2011 | 10:44 pm

    I love your blog!! Im a new follower and looking forward to reading more. Follow me too? <3

  89. Linda Medrano
    April 26, 2011 | 11:09 pm

    Uhm, Sandra, could you feel the dude out a bit and see if he's willing to pay? I've got some I could send him if the price is right.

  90. Ms.Wasteland
    April 27, 2011 | 1:03 am

    Clearly you need to take your next profile picture in a burka. You're showing too much skin in that turtleneck.

  91. On My Soapbox
    April 27, 2011 | 1:29 am

    Ewwww, the only real “ass” around here is Mr. Creepy Guy!

  92. myevil3yearold
    April 27, 2011 | 1:46 am

    Go print out the email from Creepy guy and show Wayne to prove your point that every guy does want to tap that ass.

  93. Epic Fail
    April 27, 2011 | 1:48 am

    I workout in a class with a fair number of women. The other day one of the women was turned with her butt to me, raised up and legs wide apart so that her shirt hung down and I could see both up her shorts and up her shirt at the same time. Plus, she was good-looking. But I didn't look for one simple reason – I was in a lot of pain trying to do the same position myself and not really in the mood for it. Plus, everyone knows that women have eyes in their asses and can see EVERYTHING.

    Also, I took a long time to read this because I read “when I post bikini pics” and then I was off searching for them. As for exchanging nudie pics, this guy must've been young or not know much about women. Women almost never want guys to send them nudie pics, especially if they don't know the guy. We're just not pretty to look at the way women are. Sad but true.

  94. Jill
    April 27, 2011 | 2:41 am

    Hot or cold I adore you!

  95. Kim Thomas
    April 27, 2011 | 3:33 am

    What an ass, creepy indeed ;)

  96. Jo-Anne Rambling
    April 27, 2011 | 5:30 am

    There are some strange people out there……….

  97. MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings
    April 27, 2011 | 7:06 am

    Not surprisingly, that has never happened to me. I almost wish it would, though…

  98. Jenny Brown
    April 27, 2011 | 6:13 pm

    OMGOsh….you're too funny! ….always laughing at you, by the way…. I'm with you, those other broads want to 'tap your ass' for sure, you little hot thing! (In fact, now you got me wantin' to 'tap that ass', girlfriend!) :) :)

    And I'm jealous that no creepy guy has ever asked ME to exchange nudie photos….. what's up with that? (…still laughing at you, by the way…)

  99. The mad woman behind the blog
    April 27, 2011 | 6:25 pm

    OMG. I think we are sisters from another mister, I SWEAR!

    AND I can link you to a blogger who does get um, elevated, during yoga, you know, if you wanted to present him to Wayne.

    And yes, the DH and I talk about tapping that ass and thats about as intimate as it gets. We're all kinds of romantic!

  100. Mommy Lisa
    April 27, 2011 | 6:41 pm

    Seriously – what people think is “appropriate” or “inappropriate” boggles my tiny blonde head. ;P

  101. Betty Manousos@ Cut and Dry
    April 27, 2011 | 8:07 pm

    sorry to hear that.
    my word, some people can be so creepy.

  102. Mik
    April 28, 2011 | 2:31 am

    Wow, creepy guy certainly is creepy.

  103. Kimberly
    April 29, 2011 | 4:07 am

    Ewww….Ewww….Double Ewww.

    Creepy guy has NO social skills, clearly.

  104. Cake Betch
    April 29, 2011 | 10:03 pm

    I am really bad about intimacy and being affectionate and sweet too. It annoys my boyfriends. I can't help it; no one in my family was ever super sappy and I feel like a goober fawning on my boy.
    Also, that yoga pose. Wow. I'm going to show that to my boyfriend and I bet you he will tell me that if he was doing Yoga he would be thinking about tapping that ass. I mean, how can you not when it's practically presented on a silver platter?

  105. Jen
    August 24, 2011 | 3:13 am

    Love this post! I can totally relate. I get so many requests for “deep throat” shots since that’s related to what I blog about. I also have a lot of people asking if I’m a man posing as a woman because of the way I write. There are some fucked up people out there.

  106. Aubrey Anne
    August 24, 2011 | 12:13 pm

    I’m terrible with the intimacy stuff! But I gotta say, I’m pretty disappointed that the pic you’re referring to didn’t work on my browser. lol I’m pretty sure I’m missing the point of the post without it! Seriously, though, the creepers need to fuck off.

  107. Monkey Man
    August 24, 2011 | 12:28 pm

    I did a little research on Mr. Creepy guy and, other than my name popping up, I found out his real name….it’s Richard Cranium. Fitting, I suppose.

    • Monkey Man
      August 24, 2011 | 7:59 pm

      Can’t believe I fell for the old “double post” blog. Thought this looked familiar. Nice, Sandra….had to cruise for more comments, eh?

  108. Kyla
    August 24, 2011 | 1:04 pm

    He wants to swap more than pics.

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