I bid you all a fair adieu…that’s French for so long folks!

Sunday morning, I came home from recertifying my CPR, and found my husband, Wayne, laying on the couch with THE LOOK.
Ladies, you know what look I’m talking about.
It’s that “I’m sick” look.

I. Hate. That. Look.

It’s not that I’m saying don’t be sick.
I’m just saying, don’t look so pathetic.
You have a stuffy nose, not herpes, smile for goodness sake.

But I don’t say anything.
I let him wallow in self-pity all day Sunday.
I watch as he drags himself into the kitchen to make soup.

Soup.
Probably nothing bugs me more than seeing people make soup when they’re sick.
It’s soup. Not the fucken elixir of life.
But again, I don’t say anything.

Monday he goes to work.
I point out that he’s sick.
And I know he’s sick because he’s still got THE LOOK.

Great.
This means more soup when he gets home.

Tuesday morning, he comes to me before leaving for work.
He’s showing me something on his Blackberry.
I’m like, “What?”
He’s like, “…grunt…”
I’m like, “What?”
He’s pointing at an email on his Blackberry, and “…grunt…”
I’m like, “What? What?” not in my nice tone
He’s like, “…GRUNT…” not in his nice grunting tone

Essentially he was showing me something completely insignificant, but he wanted me to see that he had lost his voice, instead of just whispering to me, “I’ve lost my voice.”

BUT he’s still dressed for work.
He’s going to fucken work.

I say, in my nice tone again because I’m really a nice person “You can’t go to work if you feel this badly. I’ll call the doc’s office and see if I can get you in.”
He grunts an “ok.”
Notice how it had never occurred to him to call the doctor’s office himself…?

Fast-forward to later in the day, because I’m pretty sure you don’t want to hear how I had to stiffle my foot from flying up his ass as he was shuffling out the door to his doctor’s appointment, Mr. Grunter returns with antibiotics and renewed hope.
He will live.
Imagine that.

However, now, we have graduated to the stage of the illness where he wants to talk about the symptoms he’s been enduring these past three days.
….BECAUSE APPARENTLY I MIGHT NOT HAVE NOTICED THEM!!!!

I am now privy to a play-by-play of his sinus pain, his sore throat, his runny nose complete with tissue count.
“I’m sure I went through an entire box of Kleenex,” he tells me proudly.

And still I have not inflicted any pain on him.
Still I am ignoring him remaining calm.

But then…then…he brings me a pack of pork chops and says, “Can you cook these up and make that sweet and sour sauce I like. We can have them for supper.”
What about the soup? Where’s the fucken soup now???

And then…then…he returns from the bathroom and describes his bowel movement to me.
Buddy, it’s the flu! You have the flu! People shit when they have the flu.

And then…THEN…he makes a snorting sound, ensuring that the phlegm rattle can be heard by everyone in the household, and says, “Oh. That’s new.”

Know what else is going to be new?
The pillow I’m going to be holding over your head later tonight because I can’t take it anymore!

So I must say farewell to you all.
Because I’m not sure I’ll have access to the Internet or my blog when I’m in jail for manslaughter.

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107 Responses to I bid you all a fair adieu…that’s French for so long folks!
  1. SherilinR
    April 6, 2011 | 1:44 pm

    i so dislike the dramatic martyr business that some men feel the need to do when they're sick. give me a break already! suck it up, slurp that snot without a commentary, for goodness sake!

  2. VandyJ
    April 6, 2011 | 1:47 pm

    And does the world stop when you get sick–oh, no. Moms get to feel like that and still keep everyone else going–so not fair.

  3. Hilary
    April 6, 2011 | 1:51 pm

    You're hilarious.. and he's such a…. man. Thanks for my morning laugh.. despite the phlegm.

  4. Lost.in.Idaho
    April 6, 2011 | 1:52 pm

    If you're gonna go down, at least make it memorable. Set up a webcam, and put it on ustream for us to follow and cheer you!

  5. Sharon
    April 6, 2011 | 1:53 pm

    aren't nurses supposed to be a little bit compassionate? lol

  6. TheUnSoccerMom
    April 6, 2011 | 1:54 pm

    WOW… Sounds JUST like my husband.

    Wish the world stood still for me whenever I got sick…

  7. Mark
    April 6, 2011 | 1:54 pm

    Use your imagination. I'm sure that you can make it look like a crime of passion. I'm just saying.
    Au Revoir! m.

  8. FatAngryBlog
    April 6, 2011 | 1:55 pm

    Why are men always such babies when they are sick???

  9. dbs
    April 6, 2011 | 1:57 pm

    I'm sure my wife would never say I act like this. *darts eyes back and forth*

  10. Sausage Fingers
    April 6, 2011 | 2:00 pm

    Women – where would we be without them (Strip clubs possibly)
    Your hubby sounds a bit like me, a jock, a burly man but when sickened with a wee sniffle turns into a slavering 4 year old!!! incapable of doing anything else other than flick through the channels on the tele.
    Good luck
    PS. keep up with the soup it is the magic liquid of the weak.

  11. Joy
    April 6, 2011 | 2:00 pm

    Oh boy. I hear you loud and clear sister!!! I remember my dad being like that and now my fiancee is the same. Men are wusses.

  12. Texan Zombie Goddess
    April 6, 2011 | 2:01 pm

    I saw the words, “The look”, and I knew before I got to the next sentence…and I was already cringing.

    God(dess). Help. Us. LOL.

    Do you get what I get when I am sick? I coddle them (kinda), make food (sorta), wait on them hand and foot (well, I do that anyway), but what happens when I get sick? I hear this:

    Go to bed.

    Then I get up to a house that is completely…and utterly…trashed.

    I'll kill your husband for you.

  13. nitebyrd
    April 6, 2011 | 2:05 pm

    I figured he was in the bathroom trying to get the pork chops from out of his butt after you finally cracked and shoved them up there!

    Men are such pussys when they are sick. It's just pitiful.

    If there's one woman on the jury for your manslaughter trial, you'll never get convicted. That's a fact.

  14. Bossy Betty
    April 6, 2011 | 2:12 pm

    Oh no. No. Really, NO. I can't take it when someone plays the Sick Card. I'll decide on your level of care, Buddy. You just take these nice pills I've prepared for you.

  15. Dazee Dreamer
    April 6, 2011 | 2:13 pm

    That was so freaking hilarious, and so true.

  16. Audreya
    April 6, 2011 | 2:14 pm

    As with anyone who lives in close quarters, my husband and I often come down with the same illness. As luck would have it, I usually get it first. So, I do what sane people do – rest when I can, see the doctor, try to keep the whining in check. Then, inevitably, three days later he will get the same thing I had. Only, his case is MUCH worse. I mean, do I not realize how bad he feels? *moan* Seriously! *grunt* Has he ever felt this bad before? This is going to be the death of him! *deep sigh*

    Um, yeah, I know. I had it three days ago.

    Sick men – there is nothing worse!

  17. Shabbygal
    April 6, 2011 | 2:16 pm

    Why are all men such babies when they get sick? I hate it I do the same thing with my hubby try to ignore as long as possible! It is hard when they are so freakin dramatic! Oh well gotta love them I guess.I think they might have internet in prison though so that's a plus! Traci

  18. Memphis Steve
    April 6, 2011 | 2:16 pm

    It isn't manslaughter when you kill him by smothering him with a pillow. Are you already working on your plea bargain and you figure you'll get them down to manslaughter? You're always thinking ahead.

  19. Sheila
    April 6, 2011 | 2:20 pm

    Breathe in – Breathe out – Breathe in – Breathe out….

  20. Bouncin' Barb
    April 6, 2011 | 2:22 pm

    The new “pill” for curing sick husbands is the “pill-O”. OMFG, you are hysterical. I can't stop laughing. But don't worry. Just like when Skippy was going to jail for sending contriband to Mynx in Australia, I will come in, flirt and bounce my boobs at the guard, and sneak you in a cake with a file in it. I got your back! Love you!

  21. Teresa Evangeline
    April 6, 2011 | 2:22 pm

    Hilarious. I am currently in men-o-pause, but I can so remember….

  22. life in the mom lane
    April 6, 2011 | 2:25 pm

    This was too funny because it si so on spot correct!!!!
    And why do they insist on going to work and passing it on to EVERYONE else? Men! :)

  23. meleah rebeccah
    April 6, 2011 | 2:26 pm

    Guys can't seem to handle the man-cold very well.

    My dad gets like that too. he can't make a simple doctors appointment – and he NEVER finishes all his antibiotics. And then he wants to know why he's not getting any better. DUH.

  24. justine love
    April 6, 2011 | 2:26 pm

    awwww… poor guy. Oh come on. we women are guilty of it too. It's our way to get them to do nice things for us… :P

    Maybe he just wants you to show him a little lovin' you know? :P

  25. Heather
    April 6, 2011 | 2:27 pm

    What is it with men and being sick? Do they truly think they are so invincible that a simple virus or sinus infection ruins their world?
    Added to this is that if I even say I have gas. My husband is sick too.
    I love men. But this is one thing about them that makes me want to runa way…far far away. (Be on the lookout for me. Here I come.)

  26. Anita @ GoingALittleCoastal
    April 6, 2011 | 2:33 pm

    Babies, friggin babies, each and every one of them. I will visit you in jail.

  27. B. WHITTINGTON
    April 6, 2011 | 2:41 pm

    It's a known fact in the man world that men are/think they are, sicker than any woman ever thought of being. Whether it's with a cold or a hemmorhoid attack.
    They are such babies. I honestly think when they get a cold they act worse than when they have heart surgery.
    You have my sympathy.
    Blessings, Barb

  28. Tao Of Terri
    April 6, 2011 | 2:47 pm

    Hilarious…not for you, but for those of us who relate. It reminds of this video I saw on You-tube awhile back…”For God's sake, woman, he's a man, he's got a man cold!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbmbMSrsZVQ

  29. ChiTown Girl
    April 6, 2011 | 2:52 pm

    You are too funny! The hubby's baby act? Not so funny. It's not funny when every other man in the universe pulls it, either. Assbags…..

  30. Mrsblogalot
    April 6, 2011 | 2:54 pm

    Note to self..wear a pad when visiting Sandra.

    Pee laughter is definitely not attractive from the back.

    You are a gem. Tissue counts and all (-: !!!

  31. Impulsive Addict
    April 6, 2011 | 2:57 pm

    I will miss you terribly. I'll write to you, ok?

  32. Sam
    April 6, 2011 | 3:07 pm

    Oh, word. I'll definitely visit you in the pokey, considering I'll probably by boarding there myself considering the peoole I have in my class. Maybe we can be neighbors.

  33. Daffy
    April 6, 2011 | 3:19 pm

    Nope…you'll have internet access AND you get 3 square meal you don't have to cook yourself. And get this! You don't even have to do the dishes!

    no worries…I fluffed your pillow.

    Ewww…that sounded really bad….

  34. amanda
    April 6, 2011 | 3:19 pm

    I almost broke up with my first boyfriend because he was such a baby when he was sick, but my mom informed me ALL men are like that. Sure enough…many many boyfriends and a husband later…it is true. They are all babies when sick.

  35. Annabelle
    April 6, 2011 | 3:24 pm

    There should be a prison/spa just for those of us who snap on our SOs when they turn into infantile douche bags.

  36. LuLu Kellogg
    April 6, 2011 | 3:24 pm

    I have bail money.

    xoxo

  37. Kristina P.
    April 6, 2011 | 3:33 pm

    I'm actually the crybaby when sick or injured. Adam tries to pretend he is Superman.

  38. Sarahf
    April 6, 2011 | 3:33 pm

    Sounds like a serious case of Man Flu. Don't worry, I'll send you sweets in jail and hide stuff in them so you can trade.

  39. Madge
    April 6, 2011 | 3:34 pm

    When my man is sick he begs for food. He won't eat soup, he wants home made mac and cheese and lots of it. Real mashed potatoes, and pork and beans. Followed by saltines and milk, and ice cream with choc sauce. I hate being home when he's sick, I spend the entire day waiting on him and cooking. Same applies to hangover.

  40. Rita
    April 6, 2011 | 3:44 pm

    I'm such a caretaker. I would have made his soup for him. LOL! Easy for me to say, tho. I haven't had to take care of one of those sick mates since 1993–ROFL!! ;)

  41. Cheeseboy
    April 6, 2011 | 3:48 pm

    Man, men are such JERKS! Wait…

  42. Monkey Man
    April 6, 2011 | 3:54 pm

    Big fricken baby. Wayne, not you. Every other Friday for six months I took in a full does of cancer killing chemicals and even had to wear a pump that dripped a chemical into me that was so poisonous it was accompanied by a hazardous spill kit just in case the the chemo went somewhere other than inside my body. FLU?!? That's for sissies. Grow up, Wayne.

  43. suz
    April 6, 2011 | 3:57 pm

    There is not much on this earth worse than a sick husband!!!

    Sampson after the haircut!
    Epic tragedy!
    On deaths doorstep, and wobbling!

    What I'd like to know is: how are we supposed to figure it out when someday, there's REALLY something wrong!

  44. Lizbeth
    April 6, 2011 | 4:04 pm

    Lord, we go through the same thing. I often wonder what a man would do if he had a period. Probably pass out and die rendering us all extinct…

  45. CkretsGalore
    April 6, 2011 | 4:04 pm

    Fortunately we ALWAYS get sick at the same time. I'm too damn busy with my own sickness to pay attention to his.

    Hey at least in Jail you'd be a hot commodity. Probably wouldn't be someone's bitch since you're pretty stacked. Me on the other hand…I gotta avoid the whole jail thing.

  46. Terena
    April 6, 2011 | 4:08 pm

    LOL!!!!!!!!! Wow, I guess all men really are the same, or at least all husbands. Except for some reason my husband seems to think I need to hear about his BM every morning, as if he's telling his future and can determine if it will be a good day or not.

  47. Lightning Bug's Butt
    April 6, 2011 | 4:10 pm

    When you're in jail, I'll visit you and sneak you some soup in a thermos.

  48. Lynn
    April 6, 2011 | 4:12 pm

    Hee hee – I know how that is. My ex-husband used to get sick every single time I went out with friends. Every single time. I would come home from girls night out and he would be lying on the sofa all sniffly and sick, but would have miraculously recovered by the morning. :)

  49. Sparkling
    April 6, 2011 | 4:17 pm

    I'm certain it's genetic. I never tell people when I'm actually sick because admitting it out loud would mean I really am. 15 years of teaching: 2 sick days. I've come with no voice, I've coming sure I wouldn't breathe for the entire day, but I somehow always make it.

    I can't believe he brought you a pack of pork chops to remind you what you could make for supper. Are you serious? Why do I picture him in pajamas, with an open robe with belt dragging on the ground, kleenex in one hand, pork chops in the other? Was that the scene?

  50. lisleman
    April 6, 2011 | 4:36 pm

    Gee the guy just wanted to be babied a little with a side order of martyr added on.
    As I scrolled down the comments I noticed a number of bloggers I follow here. I don't know I have not been here before. thanks for stopping by A Few Clowns Short

  51. Yankee Girl
    April 6, 2011 | 4:36 pm

    Totally pathetic.

    I have no patience when my husband gets sick. He tries to be all cute and shit, but that just annoys me even more. When I am sick I take care of myself! Why can't men do the same????

  52. PBJdreamer
    April 6, 2011 | 4:41 pm

    heeeee

    I love this post.

    I'll come visit you in prison!

    that is all

  53. Thisisme.
    April 6, 2011 | 5:04 pm

    The title of your post really grabbed me today!! Don't worry, we'll all come and visit you in jail. That post was so funny though and so typical of men. Usually when we're ill, we still have a million things that we have to get on with, especially when a family is involved Thank you for making me laugh today!

  54. Raven
    April 6, 2011 | 5:15 pm

    First off, you gave me a heart attack cuz I thought your title meant you were ending your blog and I just don't know what I would do without the awesome brilliance that is you. So thank Goddess that wasn't the case.

    Secondly, men are such freaking babies when they are sick. When Mom is sick she's expected to suck it up and continue her motherly duties, but a man gets sick and the whole world is supposed to stop spinning. Whatever.

    Finally, you crack me up! Loved this post. And again, so glad you're not quitting blogging!

  55. stephanie
    April 6, 2011 | 5:20 pm

    My husband is sick too- with the SAME thing I had last week, you know the one where he told me I was being dramatic and didn't I just get to sleep all day since I stay home with our 2 year old. So today when he fell “deathly ill” I had to take our toddler to the park because I was 2 minutes away from us making our debut on Snapped- you know that show on Oxygen about wives who kill their husbands. True story.

  56. DB
    April 6, 2011 | 5:26 pm

    My boyfriend jokes around all the time and calls it the “man cold”.

  57. Kimberly
    April 6, 2011 | 5:36 pm

    Men are such giant vaginas.

  58. Emily
    April 6, 2011 | 5:59 pm

    men are such pussies. And I pity the husbands/ children of nurses because we just don't give a flying fuck about colds, flues, bumps or lumps.

  59. Making It Work Mom
    April 6, 2011 | 6:01 pm

    This is one of your funniest posts yet! Why? Because apparently myh husband works throught the same stages of sickness as yours!

  60. purplume
    April 6, 2011 | 6:04 pm

    Boy, is this the truth.

  61. SkippyMom
    April 6, 2011 | 6:20 pm

    I, um, know, well I shouldn't say this, but, um….I won the husband lottery.

    Sorry, but after this post and reading the comments evidently I am not married to the average man because when my hubs gets sick he goes to bed and stays there. Doesn't ask for anything, doesn't moan or groan, nothing. I have to beg him to let me do anything for him. Swear!

    When he had a kidney stone [ouuuuch!] earlier this year he stayed in bed for a week, nary a peep until it showed up and he felt better.

    So, gotta run. I have some laurels I need to go rest on. Oh and some lucky stars I need to count.

  62. 00dozo
    April 6, 2011 | 6:21 pm

    Okay, I'll admit it. I groan if I've got a cold or somethingorother. But I will make soup! Homemade soup. Jewish penicillin! Why? Because, (a) I can; (b) I'm not dead yet; and, (c) as hard as they may try and want you to bless their little hearts, guys really can't (or won't) make the greatest effort to nurse you back to health, so you eventually have to look after yourself.

    Feck it, let him die.

    ;-)

  63. karensomethingorother
    April 6, 2011 | 6:33 pm

    hilarious, Sandra..but it still makes me wonder if I'm more of a weiner than my husband. I may well be. Oh, the terrible shame.

  64. Rebecca
    April 6, 2011 | 6:41 pm

    There is nothing worse than a sick man. Good grief it's awful. Recently Kevin had a cold. Just a cold and by the way he kept harping on and on about how sick he was, you'd think he had something terrible. He actually complained a thousand times MORE than Joey has complained about his most recent surgery and spica cast!

  65. Tracy
    April 6, 2011 | 7:07 pm

    Oh my gosh, my husband acts the same way and you think life is over for him with a cold! What is that about them?
    thanks for making me laugh though and I hope they don't give you life…

  66. Melissa
    April 6, 2011 | 7:24 pm

    You are so funny! But we will bail you out and then hide you.
    I love when men get sick…it's the end of the world for them.

  67. Belle
    April 6, 2011 | 7:27 pm

    If my hubby cuts himself, he will come over to wherever I am to make sure I see him putting the bandaid on.

  68. My name WAS Female, I shit you not!
    April 6, 2011 | 7:46 pm

    LMFAO
    MEN!!!!!!

    They ought to have Open Season on men like they do on ducks.;0)

  69. Deborah
    April 6, 2011 | 8:11 pm

    hahaha….love the last line…your hysterical! :)

  70. Snake
    April 6, 2011 | 8:12 pm

    I hear ya! I DO believe men generally are freakin' wimpy SOB's when illness intrudes . . . There are, however, exceptions to this . . . :) Don't smother him . . . Lock him in isolation until you decide he can come out! LOL And next year, a flu shot . . . Ciao

  71. Queen B
    April 6, 2011 | 8:54 pm

    OMG! I hate husband-sickness! I like the fact that he likes soup when he's sick because he expects me to “cook” and it is right up my alley. Of course, being the food snob that he is, he makes me do it over the stove and not microwave. And by “makes me” I mean that if I don't then I get the “grunt” nose until I want to put the pillow over his face to put us both out of our misery. *sigh* I really feel for you.

  72. Kato
    April 6, 2011 | 8:59 pm

    Honestly!! What IS IT with dudes who are giant baby's when they are sick?? WE are not like that! WE don't expect the world to stop when we are sick.

    Sigh. I can be your get away car….

  73. Ann
    April 6, 2011 | 9:54 pm

    OMG I think I died laughing here. Men are always such babies when they are sick. My ex wanted me to take him to the emergency room once, I'm like uh, you have a hangover you don't need an emergency room you need to sober up…lol

  74. Gigi
    April 6, 2011 | 10:07 pm

    I'll be a character witness for you at the trial. And if that doesn't help I'll bring you soup with a saw in it on visiting day.

  75. Linda Medrano
    April 6, 2011 | 10:16 pm

    Sandra! I can't believe what I'm reading here! When Alex is sick, I wait on him hand and foot. He doesn't even need to reach for the remote because I hand it to him. I give him sponge baths, fluff his pillows, and he gets meals on a tray. The ice water jug is always filled and there is always a fresh flower on his meal tray. My daughter's husband always wants to come to my house when he's sick because my daughter is just like you!!!

  76. LOLA
    April 6, 2011 | 10:29 pm

    What's his butt – the guy I was married to – would sit around blowing his nose and stuffing the crusty tissues down into the couch because he was too fucking lazy to throw them out. I would ask, Do you want supper? PAUSE. Yes, I'll try to eat. Then he'd come to the table and act like he was going to cough up a lung and the kids and I would be on the verge of barfing from the sound of the cough and finally he'd say, I guess I can't eat. And he'd crawl away to stuff more tissues into the couch for me to pick up later. Why are we divorced? I wonder.

    Infinities of love,
    Lola

  77. Julianna
    April 6, 2011 | 10:42 pm

    Careful with the pillow… he might just think you're getting kinky. :)

  78. Megan
    April 6, 2011 | 11:08 pm

    I stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say hi :)

    lol!! It's so true…men are such babies. I fully believe that every woman should include their husband when saying how many kids they have!

  79. Bridget
    April 6, 2011 | 11:10 pm

    Sheesh, guys are such babies! I totally wouldn't mind waiting on mine hand and foot when he's sick, if I knew that he would do the same for me….yeah, that so doesn't usually happen around here.

  80. DysFUNctional Mom
    April 6, 2011 | 11:32 pm

    AAAGGHH, my husband is the same way and so is his kid! They drive me crazy. Wusses!

  81. myevil3yearold
    April 7, 2011 | 12:20 am

    He couldn't possibly be sicker than my husband. Apparently, no one has ever been sicker….. ever. He can't even sit up to get the remote.

    I HATE the look too.

  82. Cake Betch
    April 7, 2011 | 12:49 am

    LOL Sick men are the biggest babies EVAR

  83. Nicole
    April 7, 2011 | 1:21 am

    Bestest bit = He will live.
    Imagine that.

    My husband's not a big whiner, really. But he shuts COMPLETELY down when he experiences the EXACT SAME illness I just wrestled with while still caring for my four fucking hangers-on. At least he's smart enough to hide quietly in the bedroom. And no damn soup.

  84. Alittlesprite
    April 7, 2011 | 1:27 am

    I know this sounds horrid, but I can't stand my Husband when he is sick. It's like the end of the world. And when I'm sick I still have to do all the shit I usually do.

  85. Coffeypot
    April 7, 2011 | 2:15 am

    What? Wait! You expect him to call the doctor? How ridiculous! That is definitely a woman’s job. Right up there with cooking, cleaning and giving head. The man is sick, not only sick, but heroically sacrificing his health to go to work so that the family can continue to live in the lifestyle they have become accustom. And he went through a whole box of Kleenex? And still took on the stress of his job…JUST BECASE HE LOVES YOU! The man is a saint and I offer him a hand salute.

  86. Kjbikakis
    April 7, 2011 | 2:34 am

    oh my gosh, this totally made my night!
    i'm only 16 years old so i've never had a husband that's had “the look” but i've seen my twin brother, and younger brother with that look. and i'm with you. i just wanna slap em! When us girls are sick do you see us mopeing around, laying all over the couch. Uh no. we still do our laundry cook our meals, (and take care of the kids if you have any) we sure don't get a break. lol
    but anyway i hope you survive, and don't go to jail for manslaughter ;)

  87. middle child
    April 7, 2011 | 2:43 am

    You won't be alone! I'll be sitting right there with you.

  88. Lemons Don't Make Lemonade
    April 7, 2011 | 3:41 am

    You should get a child sitter. :D

  89. Felicia
    April 7, 2011 | 4:46 am

    OMG are you married to my husband?!?!?! And if so where are you hiding because I am sure it would be nice to share a bed with you then him at this point.

    I not only get play by play of colds but of things that no person on this earth, nay, in this universe, should ever EVER have to hear about. Like the huge ass boil on the inside of his ass cheek. Fun times for sure. That was two years ago and I still freaking hear about it as does everyone else who wasn't privy to the information the first time round.

    He is such a big cranky baby when sick/hurt. But when I get sick and have an ear that feels like a hornet got trapped in it by three cotton balls do I get sympathy? No of course not because I am the mom.

    Grrrr….make room in that jail cell for me, I may need it soon also.

  90. Yvonne
    April 7, 2011 | 4:49 am

    Big whiney baby!!! ;)

  91. Shell
    April 7, 2011 | 5:15 am

    Oh, the man cold! YUCK!

    Men are such babies.

  92. Fash Boulevard
    April 7, 2011 | 9:12 am

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    http://www.fashboulevard.blogspot.com

  93. Peevie Juice
    April 7, 2011 | 9:48 am

    OK so I'm not gonna talk about who I am and ask you to come see my blog cos if you want to you will yourself. What I want to say is that your blog is love. Nothing more, nothing less. Love for yourself, love for your family, love for life. Beautiful.

  94. LilPixi
    April 7, 2011 | 11:00 am

    You scared the hell out of me with that title. I almost developed a hernia.

    HOW pathetic are they when they get sick? Oh, I know it all too well.

  95. Mountain Witch
    April 7, 2011 | 12:22 pm

    OMG!!! We;re married to the SAME man!! Is this legal??????
    Hysterical!!! You almost made coffee come out of my nose!!
    Thought I'd share that with you since the theme seemed to be, share your bodily functions. :)

  96. The Random Blogette
    April 7, 2011 | 2:31 pm

    I am so sorry that the man cold has entered your house. Best of luck to you! I like to run away and hide when the man cold invades my house.

  97. anSeL
    April 7, 2011 | 3:06 pm

    i hate it whenever hubby is sick. it's like the end of the world!

  98. The Kooky Queen--Rachel
    April 7, 2011 | 3:41 pm

    In my marriage, it's me who is the baby. I have one of those husbands that is too stubborn to ever see a doctor, take a pill, or whine because “he's a man.” What is worse!?

  99. dosweatthesmallstuff
    April 7, 2011 | 4:59 pm

    Hahaha… can't really blame you there. If it were my husband, I'd be bidding you all adieu for a loooong time, cos I'd definitely be in jail land already.

    Speaking of adieu, I really hope you come back soon, cos I just awarded you the Versatile Blogger Award!!! :) You can read more about it here: http://dosweatthesmallstuffblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/hurrayyy-its-my-first-ever-blog-award.html

    I have a feeling you're gonna end up hating me for it, but hey, it's my way of saying I love your blog!

  100. Slyde
    April 7, 2011 | 7:11 pm

    holy crap you could be my wife…. she says i make a big deal out of being sick ALL the damn time :)

  101. MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings
    April 7, 2011 | 7:13 pm

    Remind me not to marry you. Or, if I do, not to get sick.

  102. DCHY
    April 7, 2011 | 9:16 pm

    I dislike it when my spouse moans and whines about an impending illness.

    “I think I have a fever coming on.”
    “I hurt.”
    “I don't feel so good.”
    “I'm too sick to leave the bed.”

    Guess what? I rarely get sick and when I do, I suck it up and get it done.

  103. The Chicken's Consigliere
    April 8, 2011 | 1:10 am

    I'm all caught up now. So Wayne is sick….and the dummy died….but the dummy is not Wayne, because Wayne got better. And since Wayne lived and is in fact a real, live person, I think that you should definitely continue with your nursing classes. Wait…Wayne is still alive, right? And also, I think you should drop off your son every day wearing your fairy princess costume. And find as many excuses as you can to walk him to his classes. And when he finally begs you not to wear the fairy costume in front of all his friends ever ever again, you can negotiate a deal with him regarding the hat. It is all about the deal. I'm glad you are getting some good tv time. I'd like some of that soon. And I don't mean Max & Ruby. Sigh.

  104. Sarah
    April 8, 2011 | 3:16 am

    If you end up with a female cop, lawyer, judge, and jury there is NO WAY you'll end up in the slammer! They would have done the same thing! Tell him to Man Up!

  105. Jenn @ Juggling Life
    April 10, 2011 | 4:39 pm

    Obviously he had a Man Cold!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbmbMSrsZVQ

  106. BusyWorkingMama
    April 11, 2011 | 12:03 am

    There is nothing worse than a sick man. Nothing.

  107. The Adorkable Ditz
    April 18, 2011 | 5:40 pm

    Yeah right now I have a cold and the only person that I gave that look to was Cam but I'm not doing that anymore this cold. I know better in terms of my parents and of people around me. I mean yeah I'm not feeling my best, but I know how to keep quiet.

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