Blogging blahs…

Lately, I’ve been experiencing a bit of a writer’s block, of sorts.
I’m still writing.
But I’ll admit, the stuff I’m putting out isn’t Nobel Prize winning blog material.
Oh I know you can’t believe it. Of course it’s Nobel Prize winning, you’re saying.
Well, thank you, you’re too kind. Me love you long time.

However, in my recent funk, I’ve been reduced to posting pictures, like this one:

…and this one:

image from here 

…which, I learned through your comments, is referred to as Buddy Christ.
I gotta get out more because I had never seen this guy before I googled the words ‘adult Jesus.’

I’ve had ideas for new posts.

I had mentally begun writing one about my 13 year old who was caught yesterday running naked through the house cupping his dink while searching the laundry pile for his favourite jeans.

Picture it: one hand covering his teenhood while the other riffled through the basket of clean clothes.
I would have provided a picture, but my camera wasn’t charged! Damn! I do have morals.

I said to him, “Why are you even bothering? We’ve all seen it before. It’s not like you haven’t run through the house naked before.”
To which he replied, “I don’t want you to see my pubic hair.”
Excitedly I said, “You’re growing your big boy coat? I’m so proud!”

And from the living room, the 15 year old piped up, “Don’t get too excited Mom, there’s like three hairs down there.”

And my husband, ’cause we’re just a supportive family like that, added, “It’s probably just the lint from the towel he used after his shower.”

So yeah, I could have written about that, but really, there’s not enough material here to warrant a post.

I had also thought of writing about people who don’t blink when you’re talking to them.
You know the people I’m talking about right?
They just stare at you while you’re talking. They don’t blink.
And you’re like, “Just blink already. You’re corneas are going to dry up.”

But I’m not going with that topic in case there are too few people who can relate to it, in which case, you’d all be thinking, “All she ever does is spew nonsense!” which is untrue. I don’t just spew nonsense.
I once wrote a post on carpel tunnel syndrome, which was actually quite hilarious! I highly recommend you give it a read here…and in retrospect, it may have been spewing a bit of nonsense as well.

…See! Writer’s block! I got nothing!

And then I was going to write about how I approached Old Navy to sponsor me for BlogHer/11 conference.
Notice how I didn’t make the words ‘Old Navy’ link up to their website? That’s because I’m pissed off at them.
They did not reply with a ”we are not sponsoring anybody at this time” form email.
That would have been fine.

Noooooo!
Old Navy kept dropping the word ‘CHARITY!’
Like I’m looking for charity!
I so am not!
It’s not like I was standing outside their head office, holding an old tattered hat in one hand and a sign in the other that said: “I will wear my bikini for money”…although now that I think about it, that’s not a bad idea…


image from here

So, sorry folks, it would seem I’m in a bit of a funk.

Honestly, if this issue doesn’t resolve soon, I’ll be forced to write about how Wayne insists on giving me a daily description of the calluses under his feet.

I know I know, you so wish you were me…sigh…

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86 Responses to Blogging blahs…
  1. Raven
    April 18, 2011 | 3:19 pm

    I can so relate (though I did think this post was awesome), I've been feeling all blech when it comes to blogging too. Maybe it's contagious and will start an epidemic.

    LMAO on the pubic hair thing.

    Yeah, the Buddy Christ is from the movie Dogma. Which, is a fantastic movie.

  2. Desperate Housemommy
    April 18, 2011 | 3:20 pm

    OK. You are still a riot even when you *think* you have nothing to say.

    Hang in there…it happens to all of us. xo

  3. Tracy
    April 18, 2011 | 3:20 pm

    Thank you for making me chuckle today.

  4. Hilary
    April 18, 2011 | 3:21 pm

    The discussion over your 13-year old's hair situation is hilarious. Will he ever forgive you or does he never see the blog? ;)

  5. CkretsGalore
    April 18, 2011 | 3:23 pm

    Wayne's comment cracked me right up….along with “Big Boy Coat.”

    It's alright to be in a bit of a funk. Good way to recycle old material for the n00bs.

    I'm sure the weather isn't helping your creativity either. Did I mention that it's all sunshine and motherfucking spring in Northern Alberta?? Oh right..I think I did. mwahahah

  6. sarajo
    April 18, 2011 | 3:26 pm

    You crack me up! I love how you parent! I wanna be like that when I grow up. LOL!

  7. Peevie Juice
    April 18, 2011 | 3:28 pm

    You're so random. Random. Such a sexy word.

  8. Kristina P.
    April 18, 2011 | 3:29 pm

    I think if you just posted pictures of The Hoff, BlogHer would come knocking!

  9. Misty
    April 18, 2011 | 3:30 pm

    I can so relate! My just 14DD, did the same thing! Geeze, Like I have never seen a boob…OPPS a Breast!
    I look forward daily to your award winning rambles!
    Hummer Hugs,
    Misty
    http://deliteful-gifts.blogspot.com/
    hummingbird204 at comcast dot net

  10. Abby
    April 18, 2011 | 3:30 pm

    I'm in the same boat as you blah-wise, except I don't look like that in a bikini and I have no kids aspiring to be nudists.

    Sigh…;)

  11. Ruth
    April 18, 2011 | 3:41 pm

    I am doing the A-Z challenge thing just to motivate me to write more cause I've been stumped lately too.

    My mom does that non-blinking thing.
    It is kinda creepy.

  12. Mrsblogalot
    April 18, 2011 | 3:45 pm

    You could blog the phone book.

    And I don't even care if that doesn't make any sense.

  13. Daffy
    April 18, 2011 | 3:48 pm

    Well even in a funk you are hilarious and I'm going to have to figure out which closet to hide this keyboard in. Good thing work has a lot of closets and a lot of keyboards!

    Lint from the towel….lmao…. oh kids… this was great. I love starting the day with a good laugh. SO happy to have started here!

  14. Bouncin' Barb
    April 18, 2011 | 3:50 pm

    I do believe you need a mini vacation at Myrtle Beach to veg and clear your head. There will be plenty to blog about I promise! Come on down! We would have a blast.

    That picture is from the comedy “Dogma” with George Carlin as a Bishop who markets his idea to gain followers with “Buddy God”, Alanis Morrissette is God, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are angels sent to earth. It's hysterical.

  15. Jay
    April 18, 2011 | 3:54 pm

    I blame University and snowstorms that appear at the end of April.

  16. Mark
    April 18, 2011 | 3:59 pm

    I wanna hear about those calluses!
    m.

  17. Brandy Rose
    April 18, 2011 | 4:02 pm

    Buddy Christ + Dogma = Awesome Freakin Movie!

  18. VandyJ
    April 18, 2011 | 4:03 pm

    I too get to hear about calluses. It's stimulating conversation, but then we are very boring at our house–something I have learned when faced with a Monday post.

  19. Stacie's Madness
    April 18, 2011 | 4:07 pm

    i love your nonsense. rock on.

  20. ms. caboo
    April 18, 2011 | 4:21 pm

    I'm also undergoing a current episode of nothing to write about. My life right now is so boring I can't even stand to be in it!

  21. Bridget
    April 18, 2011 | 4:29 pm

    Hope you come out of you blog funk soon, but girl, youz still funny!!!

  22. Lin
    April 18, 2011 | 4:42 pm

    The 'nonsense' is totally where it's at! And even though you feel like you're in a type of funk…I loved this post!

  23. meleah rebeccah
    April 18, 2011 | 5:03 pm

    I am cracking up right now. I thought I was the only person in the world who noticed when people don't blink when you talk to them. And it ALWAYS freaks me out! HA!

  24. laughingmom
    April 18, 2011 | 5:06 pm

    Naked 13 yo's always make for good blog material!

  25. Linda Medrano
    April 18, 2011 | 5:22 pm

    When you got nuthin', you are better than most who are at the top of their game. I love your family! Actually, I think I've got your family.

  26. Monkey Man
    April 18, 2011 | 5:36 pm

    Wow! What a writer you are. I have never run into someone who has said so little with so many words in such a funny way. So much TMI, but I read anyway. Maybe I'm the sick one.

    Speaking of TMI – my 16 year old son may not run around the house naked, but he offers WAY to many plumbers butt shots and the boy has a man sweater going already. So sad. Must get it from his mother.

  27. Chanel
    April 18, 2011 | 5:43 pm

    Old Navy is overrated anyway. I had a pair of their jeans and my mom teased me for years that the pockets made my butt look box shaped. I would have stopped wearing them except they made my thighs look fabulous.

    But those years of constant teasing and being called “ChanelBob Squarebutt” have forever scarred me and I do not shop at Old Navy anymore.

    You were asking for Sponsorship, not charity. Obviously they need to find a dictionary. I bet they think pirating movies is theft. (Clearly it's not. Stealing is taking the original. Piracy is making a copy. Duh.)

  28. Yvonne
    April 18, 2011 | 5:44 pm

    It's impossible for “you” to have NOTHING to say! You have like “diareah of the mind” -always something and always entertaining! And yes, I misspelled that stupid word. For what it's worth, I have blog-itis too. Bleh!

  29. TheUnSoccerMom
    April 18, 2011 | 5:45 pm

    ahahahaha….

    I beginning to think I've missed out on a lot by only having one child… :o )

  30. The Restaurant Manager
    April 18, 2011 | 6:25 pm

    This was a pretty good post for someone in a “funk”

  31. Kathy
    April 18, 2011 | 6:44 pm

    Too funny! I love the lint comment by your husband! Thanks for a well needed laugh, I am home with my darlings on spring break!!! Frankly the calluses seem pretty intresting! Lol! Have fun, thanks for the laugh!

  32. SkippyMom
    April 18, 2011 | 6:54 pm

    You neglected to add the donation link for your sons' therapy.

    Wow.

  33. Julie
    April 18, 2011 | 7:21 pm

    How funny. I can't stand people who close their eyes while speaking. Look at me while you're talking please! It's like they can't talk and see at the same time.

    Nice post.

  34. Mrs. Tuna
    April 18, 2011 | 7:30 pm

    I've come to the realization that I'm addicted to you like crack cocaine, you're the first blog I always read from my blogger dashboard. Do I need an intervention?

  35. Boobies
    April 18, 2011 | 7:36 pm

    Even in a 'funk'…I think you're hysterical…i swear, I think your family is the mirror image of mine! Hilarious!

  36. Tipsy - tipsyreader.com
    April 18, 2011 | 7:37 pm

    oh shit. “big boy coat” I nearly pissed my pants.

    Just write what you know, it's funny as shit.

  37. Mama Spaghetti
    April 18, 2011 | 8:07 pm

    Could not stop laughing at that story; it just kept getting better. Oh, the things I have to look forward to!

    I may not be in a “funk” per se, but I feel you. I'm fighting the good fight to try and get my one-year-old to stop nursing like a newborn, and the sleep deprivation is making me feel like I'll be speaking in gibberish by the end of the week.

    And screw Old Navy. They don't know what they're missing. If you want, I can blame the fact that I don't buy their clothing on a boycott in your honor.

  38. Coffeypot
    April 18, 2011 | 8:21 pm

    Hubs comment about lent from the towel had be laughing out loud. And I'll pay to see you in your bikini in public. I'll pay even more to see you get into it.

  39. Bibliomama
    April 18, 2011 | 8:43 pm

    Yeah, it's really too bad you're blocked, I feel SO bad for you. Maybe if you send Old Navy a picture of you in that bikini they'll a) send you money for some pork rinds or b) pay you to model for them.

  40. XLMIC
    April 18, 2011 | 9:18 pm

    “nothing” my ass. lol

    This is so funny… I am laughing and reading instead of packing my crap up to leave my non-vacation to head home :P

  41. Madge
    April 18, 2011 | 9:24 pm

    When my nephiew was about 8, he told his mom he was growing hair down there. Turns out he just had a long hair, (like one that fell out of his head) stuck to the inside of his underwear, poor kid was heartbroken.

  42. becca
    April 18, 2011 | 9:54 pm

    even when you don't think you have anything you have something brilliant

  43. Trooper Thorn
    April 18, 2011 | 10:14 pm

    How dare your husband suggest you have linty towels!? He can do his own damn laundry!

  44. Lightning Bug's Butt
    April 18, 2011 | 10:36 pm

    Brings me back to my youth and all the dink-cupping I did.

  45. Kickboxing Los Angeles
    April 18, 2011 | 11:18 pm

    I did spit out my candy reading about your son's encounter; so I think it would have been worth going through writing about that. But you really do need to see the movie Dogma to get what Buddy Jesus is all about. Plus, that movie is known to inspire a few ideas.

  46. LOLA
    April 18, 2011 | 11:19 pm

    I don't really think you have a problem with blogging block, but if you think you do, then make up something. That's what I do. I live in a total blogging fantasy world. My son lived with me for a while when he was 30. I came out of my bedroom one morning just as he walked toward his bathroom. He was totally nekkid. Thank God I wasn't looking down. I don't want to know about the Love Machine.
    Love,
    Lola

  47. LuLu Kellogg
    April 18, 2011 | 11:21 pm

    Even if you think you don't have anything to say you are still hilarious. Period.

    ROFL @ lint from the towel….

    Love,
    LuLu~*xoxo

  48. Annabelle
    April 18, 2011 | 11:41 pm

    “Big boy cost”

    buwahahaha

  49. SuzRocks
    April 18, 2011 | 11:42 pm

    I personally would like you to tell more of this Old Navy story. I would totally promise to boycott them for you, since you're pissed off- but alas, I can't do that. Because I really, really, like Old Navy. Cheap stuff….

    On another note- are you going to Blog Her this year? I was hoping someone I 'know' would be going!

  50. Heather
    April 19, 2011 | 12:09 am

    Oooooh calluses. I can't wait.
    Just steal topics from the blogs you read. THat is what I do.

    Plus if I am really out of material I just invent more kids. Who can keep up anyway?

  51. Unknown Mami
    April 19, 2011 | 12:13 am

    Did Old Navy mention if they would like to sponsor me?

  52. DCHY
    April 19, 2011 | 12:25 am

    I used to read the news for ideas. Got tired of getting on the soapbox. Here's an idea for you…what's your view on women's right to go topless everywhere? I don't mean the beach…

  53. Jo-Anne Rambling
    April 19, 2011 | 12:35 am

    We all have writers block at times but you know what really pisses me off when I am laying in bed and think of a great topic to blog about but when I wake up I can't remember what the topic was……….bloody hell.

    So why are you so funny when you have nothing to say……..the pupic hair bit made me laugh although when I first read it I read drink cup and thought why is he running around the house naked with a drink cup………..yeah there is something wrong with me.

    If you have a problem with people who don't blink you would find me bloody annoying…..not because I don't blink as far as I know I do but because for some unknown reason I have a rotten habit of looking over peoples shoulders when I am talking to them I will catch myself doing it and try not to and make myself look at them person then I get the giggles and start blinking madly and I am sure people who do not know me think I am having some kind of fit…….lol I am laughing as I write this but really it isn't funny or is it I will let you decide.

  54. Julianna
    April 19, 2011 | 1:13 am

    I have also hit a dry spell.

    I've been forced to recant how awesome I am and my less than stellar parenting tips (posting tomorrow).

    Worst part is… I think of all these great things and by the time I sit down to write, I got nothing.

    Nothing!

    Damn old age. :(

  55. Kat
    April 19, 2011 | 1:18 am

    For someone who's in a writing funk, you're still pretty damned amusing. Keep it up! The whole pubic hair thing just slays me LOL

  56. Nicky
    April 19, 2011 | 1:35 am

    I feel your pain. I've been reduced to posting cartoons. If you're going to write about Wayne's calluses, don't forget to take pictures.

  57. Jill
    April 19, 2011 | 2:08 am

    I thought that was pretty entertaining :)

  58. Lemons Don't Make Lemonade
    April 19, 2011 | 2:28 am

    Crap. Sorry, my previous comment (which I deleted) was supposed to be on another blog.

    Anyway, I was going to say that I REALLY need to find new ways to say how funny you are.

    Seriously.

    And a picture would have been great.

    *looks wishful*

    But that's just my 15 year old horniness talking.

  59. Shell
    April 19, 2011 | 3:13 am

    Ew, they said charity? That's just wrong.

    LOL @ the naked story- that will be my house in a few years…well, if my boys ever start caring who sees their junk.

  60. Jenner
    April 19, 2011 | 4:02 am

    Lint from the towel… I just choked on my beer!! Seriously, the conversations at your house make the BEST posts.

  61. Kelley
    April 19, 2011 | 4:34 am

    Your blogging blahs are the best! Get in the blahs more often, why don't you? What is Old Navy's DEAL? I'm going to take every one of their flip-flops off the hooks next time I'm in the store and yell out “That's from snubbing Sandra!!” next time I'm in there. I'm in Houston and they'll have no idea what I am talking about, but it's the principle here. Plus, I want to share your bed. If I get a sponsor, where am I supposed to stay if I don't stay with you??

  62. Flying high in the sky....
    April 19, 2011 | 9:43 am

    what a refreshing feeling to read you… love the flow… thanks for being so fresh and different with each post… loved it!!!

  63. laughingwolf
    April 19, 2011 | 1:12 pm

    and here i thought ALL hair was public… no, wait!

  64. anSeL
    April 19, 2011 | 1:41 pm

    can't stop grinning now…

  65. Lola
    April 19, 2011 | 3:05 pm

    Even your funks are fucking hysterical! And I DO believe you could have milked the entire “running through the house neked” into a lengthy even verbose morphing into annoying, ohmygod will she ever stop, post. No, I didn't misspell naked. Neked was my intention.

    Also, I would like to hear more about Wayne's calluses. With accompanying pics if possible.

    You ARE taking requests, right?

  66. Krysten @ After 'I Do'
    April 19, 2011 | 6:31 pm

    Dude that last picture is HYSTERICAL! And I think we all hit blogging funks now and again. It happens.

  67. pattypunker
    April 19, 2011 | 6:48 pm

    fuck old navy! other than 2 for $5 flip flops, they're not all that and a bag of chips.

  68. Melanie Mueller
    April 19, 2011 | 6:55 pm

    Hi~ Found your blog today and I love it. You are too funny!!
    I would follow you but for come reason, I don't see the link. It is me and my crazy computer, gotta figure out what is going on. I will be back though. ;)

  69. Megan (Best of Fates)
    April 19, 2011 | 8:11 pm

    I am oh-so-funkified myself, so I sympathize. And I'm in love with the phrase “big boy coat.” So thank you for that.

  70. rachel june*
    April 19, 2011 | 8:46 pm

    just stumbled upon your blog but thought it was refreshing to know we all go through those funks! at least you admit….funny stuff!

  71. gayle
    April 19, 2011 | 9:40 pm

    Even with nothing to say you find something funny to write about!!

  72. myevil3yearold
    April 19, 2011 | 11:54 pm

    Man Coat? Too funny!

    Anyway. Old Navy totally should have sponsored you. I got a relly polite email form Carnival when I approached them. I just wanted free booze!!!

  73. Mom Went Crazy
    April 20, 2011 | 12:38 am

    I love the phrase man coat.'

  74. Misfits Vintage
    April 20, 2011 | 1:10 am

    Holy Blaspheming Booger – look at you in those swimmers!!!
    Yes yes you are very hiarious and clever and witty and your family are charming and your husband is clueless… but Jesus Frickin Wept, look at your smoking hot amazing body!!! And you know I mean that with love, right?

    Sarah xxx

  75. Lazarus
    April 20, 2011 | 3:24 am

    Old Navy is missing out on a golden opportunity! Sandra, you're like Seinfeld, you can write about nothing and make it funny. Great job!

  76. Rachel
    April 20, 2011 | 5:13 am

    Umm… “blogging blahs”? 77 comments? Methinks there is a dichotomy at play!

    Still giggling about the lint…

  77. The mad woman behind the blog
    April 20, 2011 | 5:32 am

    Big boy coat?
    OMG, I would love to be able to bring this kind of funny when I'm feeling the funk.
    BTW: so excited to compare our cute shoes at Blogher!

  78. True*Lu
    April 20, 2011 | 6:38 am

    Man, I wish I had your “writer's block” skillzzzzzz.

  79. Ameena
    April 20, 2011 | 7:12 am

    I too have total writer's block. I haven't blogged in almost a week which is a new record for me. Not sure if there is something in the water or what??

    In any case, your “writer's block” has totally entertained me, so thank you for that!

  80. The Onion
    April 20, 2011 | 3:37 pm

    Even in a funk, you are cracking me up with the naked teen business..

    I am in a funk too. I wish you were my neighbor so we could get together and bitch about it over coffee.

    After we bitched about everything else.

    http://www.alotoflayers.blogspot.com

  81. Melissa
    April 20, 2011 | 8:02 pm

    I have hit a writers block…which turns out that when I have writers block…I complain! Now I feel like a whiney blogger!

  82. Cake Betch
    April 21, 2011 | 4:03 pm

    I've got writer's block right now too, coupled with extreme 24/7 exhaustion, and a general lack of wanting to do anything in general.

    And besides, I like weird and random. What's wrong with weird and random?

  83. Toriz
    April 21, 2011 | 11:16 pm

    Interesting for a post with no inspiration behind it. LOL!

  84. Mrs4444
    April 22, 2011 | 4:00 am

    My husband and I laughed pretty hard through this post-Thanks.

    I remember when my son got his first pubes. He was so proud of himself that he pretended to have a “weird itch down there,” and asked me if I would look at it. “Honey, that's just your pubic hair starting to come in.” So funny, little show-off.

  85. The Empress
    April 23, 2011 | 9:26 pm

    I don't think it's a funk.

    I just think you want to try something new.

    Do it.

  86. The Adorkable Ditz
    April 28, 2011 | 10:05 pm

    If you want to get sponsored how about you buy one of their bikinis and walk around with an Old Navy sign. And make a deal so that if you do that they have to sponsor you.

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