Kind of like a Mastercard commercial but not really…

Remember these advertisements:

Well, Saturday I was at the grocery store.

Cue my commercial!

Powder foundation by Because Your Fabulous that makes my skin look like porcelain and confuses people into thinking I’m actually 23 years old: $40

See. Porcelain complexion!
…Ok. Please ignore what appears to be the bird nest on my head.
I’m too busy to wash my hair.
I’ve penciled that in for Thursday.

Box of L’Oreal hair colour to hide the grey and further confuse people into thinking I’m 23 years old: $12

Mascara that makes me look like I have beautiful long eyelashes:…well, actually the mascara was free.
It’s from my blog sponsor Because Your Fabulous.

Ok, so where was I…oh yeah, free mascara...
Sexy little Lulu Lemon shape jacket that is form fitting and makes me look like I have boobs…sort of…
…well…ahem…that was free too.
My friend Jen gave it to me for my birthday.
  

Alright, it doesn’t look like I have a rack, but really I do. Close up.

Lulu Lemon yoga pants that make my ass go BAM! $130
…except they were a birthday gift from my mom, so I didn’t actually pay for them…

No, not my ass.
I thought of taking a picture of it, but I had just seen another blogger post a picture of her butt and I didn’t want to get accused of stealing ideas…so not my ass.
Anyway, my ass is so much juicier than this one.

Furry mukluk-type boots worn with yoga pants making the leg look even more leaner: $5
…I know you think I wrote the number down wrong, right?
Nope. They were $5.
I bought them on sale in the children’s department.

Alright, so what’s my total?

$57! $57 dollars to look like this!

Random hot-looking stranger pushing his grocery cart into the bread aisle where I was, and exclaiming:
“I had to go down 13 aisles, but I finally found the one with the good looking chick!” PRICELESS!!!

Even more priceless however, is the look on random hot-looking stranger’s face and the speed at which he beetled out of my aisle towards safety, when I exclaimed in a loud, jovial voice: “Buddy, you made my day! Now I’ve got something to blog about!”

Yeah. I know. My life could use a bit more depth.
Shuddup.

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86 Responses to Kind of like a Mastercard commercial but not really…
  1. Vanessa
    March 15, 2011 | 4:34 am

    You never disappoint! I love your blog! But you know what? You didn't say ballsack or vagina!! :) Have a good one!

    http:daily-dilly.blogspot.com

  2. anSeL
    March 15, 2011 | 4:35 am

    hi,sandra!
    something like that makes you feel good and more beautiful.
    it's flattering!
    i just remembered one time when i was buying a lottery ticket, the man said to me- “are you sure your over 18?” after that i was smiling. I'm flattered!
    Two weeks ago when I applied for a Sears card, the saleslady told me, you're too young to own a house! I told her I'm 35 already.
    That made me smile again!
    Stay beautiful and keep on smiling!

  3. Leila
    March 15, 2011 | 4:35 am

    haha but i would stop following you if you tried to post about anything other than your life! You're too hilarious! I hate how I'm 18 and you look twenty times better than I do. We need to be workout buddies :) so you can go Drill Sgt on me (and I will finally have a sexy bod!)

    $130 for sweat pants?! What are they made out of?! Some time of diamond fiber?! Space rubber?! what the…

  4. anSeL
    March 15, 2011 | 4:36 am

    yes! I'm #2!

  5. Kaylen
    March 15, 2011 | 4:43 am

    This is why I am boycotting yoga. $130 for a pair of pants – blech. Eff you yoga.

    On a better topic–dude, you are smokin' hot! I love that a random stranger acknowledged it in such a fun way in the grocery store of all places!!

  6. Momma Jorje
    March 15, 2011 | 4:48 am

    That fuckin' rawks!

  7. Poppy
    March 15, 2011 | 4:49 am

    Really, no gratitous ass shot? I'm so disappointed.

  8. Lana D
    March 15, 2011 | 4:59 am

    Sa-weet!! Go you!

  9. Kristina P.
    March 15, 2011 | 5:01 am

    How much for the fake nipples you are wearing?

  10. The Onion
    March 15, 2011 | 5:18 am

    I covered by gray today as well, for about 7.99 – Sale!

    $130 yoga pants had BETTER make an ass go “bam!”…

  11. XLMIC
    March 15, 2011 | 5:30 am

    ROFL!

    The best blog material I get from the grocery store has to do with my boys knocking over huge watermelon displays or me calling mean, old people assholes to their faces. I want a random hot guy story!

    O.

    Probably helps to be hot like YOU!

  12. Coffeypot
    March 15, 2011 | 5:47 am

    The wuss. Telling me you were gonna blog about it would make me want to talk to you more…ya know…compare notes and swap pictures. Might even friend ya on Facebook.

  13. Raven
    March 15, 2011 | 6:20 am

    You look marvelous! Love the whole ensemble, but my faves are the yoga pants.

    LMAO at the grocery store thing. I'd so be all, 'Yay, something to blog about' too! Everything I see, say, do, or encounter, my first thought is, 'How can I make this into a fabulous blog post?' hehehe

  14. The Adorkable Ditz
    March 15, 2011 | 6:25 am

    Interesting…

  15. Lottie
    March 15, 2011 | 6:42 am

    Where'd you get the tanned washboard stomach…I'll take one of those please?

  16. Gigi
    March 15, 2011 | 6:43 am

    one of each, please!! :)

  17. ~ Darla ~
    March 15, 2011 | 7:52 am

    Now I've got something to Blog about! Good one.

  18. A Daft Scots Lass
    March 15, 2011 | 8:39 am

    Lookin' fekkin' HAWT!

  19. Ann
    March 15, 2011 | 9:04 am

    ah, yoga pants, I love yoga pants. Gotta love strangers who make your day.

  20. Gigi
    March 15, 2011 | 9:50 am

    Gotta love those strangers that go out of their way to make your day!

  21. Bouncin' Barb
    March 15, 2011 | 9:54 am

    Sandra…If I saw you in the grocery store, I'd follow you around too. You are smokin'!!! Not to mention the fact that you love me too! Great pics and as always a smile early in the morning for me. Hugs sweetheart!

  22. becca
    March 15, 2011 | 10:30 am

    omg this was priceless thank you for the morning giggle and i hope you never run out of great things to post about because i adore you and your blog. big hugs thank you

  23. Lemons Don't Make Lemonade
    March 15, 2011 | 10:58 am

    The stranger was hilarious.

    And dead on.

  24. myevil3yearold
    March 15, 2011 | 11:27 am

    Yoga pants for how much?????

    I guess it depends on just how good they make your butt look.

  25. Anonymous
    March 15, 2011 | 11:32 am

    BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN
    Why American men should boycott American women

    http://boycottamericanwomen.blogspot.com/

    I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

    American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

    This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

    BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!

  26. Lola
    March 15, 2011 | 11:44 am

    HAHAHAHAHA! Can't believe you posted about LuLu Lemon! Perhaps we should incorporate Lulu Lemon into our “Super Hero” outfits when we join forces to rule the world. I mean, you can NEVER underestimate the power of a FINE ASS! By the way, I have the same yoga pants BUT my jacket is different so we will COMPLIMENT each other without being too matchy-matchy.

  27. laughingmom
    March 15, 2011 | 11:49 am

    Thank you for posting the picture of my ass on your site – glad that I could help you out this way even if your ass is “juicier!”

  28. dddiva
    March 15, 2011 | 11:50 am

    I love this post- very clever! I want those yoga pants, very badly. I would live in yoga pants except of course my ass looks freakin- amazing in jeans and heels and sometimes I like to be mistaken for my girls sister. Okay all of the time unless I am going psycho postal mom on them about something. That's my shallowness, and I'm not ashamed of it.
    Bet your ass looks way better in them though.
    Have to say not a fan of the furry feet though, but that may just be because I live with 5 dogs and just walking through a room they have been in gives me that look for free. You did get an exceptional bargain, though.

  29. Misfits Vintage
    March 15, 2011 | 12:02 pm

    I am saving my pennies so I can fly over to Canadia or Lithuania or wherever and hire a car and drive to wherever the hell you are and go to that supermarket and just walk up and down that aisle until someone pays me a compliment – TOTALLY worth it!

    You look amazingly hot and fabulous and it is no surprise to me AT ALL that hot dude was hitting on you. Hell, I will hit on you while I'm there.

    Sarah xxx

  30. Raquel's World
    March 15, 2011 | 12:24 pm

    Isn't this what a bloggers life is all about. Doing normal stuff and hoping to encounter something entertaining enough to blog about? Very Funny.

  31. -stephanie-
    March 15, 2011 | 12:25 pm

    You get random hot-looking stranger in your bread aisle and I get random smelly stranger who farts in mine. Not fair.
    The good thing about my stranger was when my child asks in a very loud voice, “who farted”? I'd call that priceless.

  32. ryoko861
    March 15, 2011 | 12:55 pm

    To Anonymous above:

    Kiss my ass. You men aren't any gift to live with either DUDE!

    ANYWAY….

    Love it!! If he thought you were so hot, why didn't he just hang around to chat with you. I thought your comeback was clever!

  33. Diane
    March 15, 2011 | 1:26 pm

    Awesomeness. I don't think I could ever squeeze my big size 8's into a pair of children's boots though!

  34. Red Shoes
    March 15, 2011 | 2:19 pm

    I LOVE the comment from the stranger in the store!!! I need to use that!! ;o)

    There is nothing better than the high we get from feeling great about ourselves!!

    ~shoes~

  35. Tina @ Faith Fitness Fun
    March 15, 2011 | 2:30 pm

    Yep! You're hot!!!

    And what is with that boycott american woman comment? Random.

  36. Busy Bee Suz
    March 15, 2011 | 2:39 pm

    You are so funny!!! Actually, you are priceless!!!

  37. Big Fat Gini
    March 15, 2011 | 2:46 pm

    Okay. Honey. You and I are gonna have to have a little chat about those boots. I know you live somewhere up in the Arctic Circle or whatever, but no. Please. No. I adore you, but no.

  38. Krissy
    March 15, 2011 | 2:51 pm

    That was definitely priceless! However, I want to smack you for being able to fit into anything in the children's department.

    Your first sponsor's name is perfect for you, hon. :)

    TalkativeTaurus.com

  39. Lin
    March 15, 2011 | 3:01 pm

    Bwahaha…that's hilarious! Also, you did look pretty cute :)

  40. Lisha @ DeLovely Life
    March 15, 2011 | 3:50 pm

    Bwahaha! You look lovely. And sexy man comments…always a good thing. And I totally said vagina in my post today. Thought of you the whole time..not in a weird way.

  41. Mark
    March 15, 2011 | 4:06 pm

    If I weren't Gay, I'd be all over you. m.

  42. Snake
    March 15, 2011 | 4:09 pm

    Personally Sandra, I'd like to see your ass . . . LOL Seriously, I would . . . :) Ciao baby!

  43. Kimberly
    March 15, 2011 | 4:09 pm

    Spectacular!

    Worth every penny (and freebie)!

  44. twelvedaysold
    March 15, 2011 | 4:27 pm

    You probably thing this blog is about you.

    Love the jacket!

  45. Sparkling
    March 15, 2011 | 5:04 pm

    ok, your blog used to be forbidden when i opened it at school. no longer. and i wish it was because what was on the top? of course, a naked butt!! at least it wasn't in front of my students!

    i love it when i find stuff super cheap and love it more when i get stuff for free!

    i have to check out this lulu lemon stuff. they seem to be everywhere.

  46. Stephanie
    March 15, 2011 | 6:04 pm

    Today after doing a great job on a project my boss says “Oh yah..that's why I hired you.” Forgets to shut off the intercom and then mutters…”that and you're good lookin” I should be disgusted but I just smiled and nodded to myself. It hurts to be so fantastic, right? LOL….woman you're hilarious. Hope you saw my award I gave you on one of my recent posts. :)

  47. Tipsy - tipsyreader.com
    March 15, 2011 | 7:25 pm

    It's always fabulous to get compliments like that!

    You're lookin good chicka!

  48. ChiTown Girl
    March 15, 2011 | 9:59 pm

    Girl, you so crazy!!

  49. Date Girl
    March 15, 2011 | 10:50 pm

    That compliment is better than a 2 syllable damn. :-) You look fantastic!

  50. Holly Ruggiero
    March 15, 2011 | 11:03 pm

    Darn tootin’ that is priceless! Hey, it’s the little things that count.

  51. Saimi
    March 15, 2011 | 11:42 pm

    Fabulous!!

  52. Ms.Wasteland
    March 16, 2011 | 12:01 am

    Bwahahaha! You're hot and funny.

  53. blueviolet
    March 16, 2011 | 12:20 am

    That's a moment you need to hold dear forever. You're adorable!

  54. Tracey Axnick
    March 16, 2011 | 1:06 am

    Love it! Cross-continent High FIVE to you, sistah! :)

  55. gayle
    March 16, 2011 | 1:10 am

    Well, you are beautiful!!!

  56. On My Soapbox
    March 16, 2011 | 1:19 am

    I think the word “blog” is what scared him away!

  57. Haven
    March 16, 2011 | 1:42 am

    Bwahahahaha.

    That's awesome!

    Also love that you are scaring them away.

    Even more awesome!

  58. Kimberly
    March 16, 2011 | 1:47 am

    This was an attempt to tell us how hot you are. Don't lie. You couldn't resist holding in your hotness all to yourself. It's ok…let it all out… ;)

  59. Shawn
    March 16, 2011 | 2:07 am

    Your Priceless Fo Rizzle'

    Shawn

  60. Wombat Central
    March 16, 2011 | 2:30 am

    I need to find that boob-creating top! Umm… not for me. Yeah. It's for a… uh friend. Yeah!

  61. Making It Work Mom
    March 16, 2011 | 2:47 am

    I love the Yoga pants. That is all.

    Wait not really.
    I *heart* the kid's shoe aisle. You get the best deals.

  62. purplume
    March 16, 2011 | 4:51 am

    You look terrific! What a score, or series of them.
    I'm happy that your daughter can use the how to make a rattail lei instructions.

  63. 7ladybugz
    March 16, 2011 | 5:04 am

    LOL I thought I was the only one that blogged about random people in the grocery store LOL
    Thanks for the chuckles :)

  64. Yvonne
    March 16, 2011 | 5:50 am

    I read this post earlier today at work, but couldn't comment until now. LMAO! You are so crazy! I always have the wierdos approach me at the grocery store!

  65. Kimberly@PrettyPinkMomma
    March 16, 2011 | 7:15 am

    Love that whole outfit girl! I wish I could squeeze the potatoes I call feet in to cute clearance kids shoes! So jealous. SUPER CUTE though.

  66. Betty Manousos@ Cut and Dry
    March 16, 2011 | 8:42 am

    Wow! Wow! You look terrific, my friend!!

    …and that stranger was hilarious!
    Happy Wednesday!

    B xx

  67. stephanie
    March 16, 2011 | 1:27 pm

    Oh my gosh that's hysterical!! Too funny! And I'm so jealous you can wear kids shoes- I have the biggest feet haha

  68. Anna
    March 16, 2011 | 2:12 pm

    Too funny! You go girl! ;)

  69. PBJdreamer
    March 16, 2011 | 3:06 pm

    WOOOO

    Ran that man off quickly….Next time shake that Yoga Bam Booty and maybe he will faint!

    Sexy you

    that is all

  70. Cake Betch
    March 16, 2011 | 3:11 pm

    Lol compliments are always welcome, even if you terrify the person later.

  71. Jill
    March 16, 2011 | 4:41 pm

    Ah, the little things in life…

  72. Stephanie
    March 16, 2011 | 5:44 pm

    Haha! So funny! I would totally stalk you in the grocery store.

  73. Fizzgig
    March 16, 2011 | 7:47 pm

    holey shit, i feel bad about spending 10 bucks for yoga pants on sale at old navy. I dont even spend 130 on clothes i wear to work let alone lounge around in.

    maybe thats why my ass doesnt say bam?

  74. Crystal Escobar
    March 16, 2011 | 10:06 pm

    Sandra, you totally make me laugh, and you are TOTALLY HOT :)
    Just love your stories!

  75. meleah rebeccah
    March 16, 2011 | 11:52 pm

    It's only $57 dollars to look like you? Now THAT is PRICELESS!

  76. Holly
    March 17, 2011 | 2:26 am

    I don't blame him, you are like SOO HOT!

    I need bangs like yours. Can you come over with some scissors? I serve wine…

  77. MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings
    March 17, 2011 | 5:02 am

    So that's why women wear those boots. I've always liked them on women–I think they're sexy–but didn't realize why.

    Sometimes I think it'd be fun to be a woman and get all that attention from men. I wonder what a sex change costs?

  78. The Blue Zoo
    March 17, 2011 | 6:09 am

    lol Ha! Thats awesome.

    I am loving those yoga pants, but $130? Sheesh! Not sure if I love them quite that much.

    But I do love your bangs… I may just save that pic and take it to my stylist. lol And Im not kidding! =)

  79. Mamarazzi
    March 17, 2011 | 7:27 am

    something to blog about!! bwah ha ha ha ha

    love it!

  80. Lightning Bug's Butt
    March 17, 2011 | 6:56 pm

    Cute boots. And yes, you do look 23. And I'd likely steer down your aisle.

  81. Nari
    March 17, 2011 | 8:26 pm

    I'm happy to hear that you wield your Powers of Attraction for good rather than Evil and by that I mean that you use them for the benefit of us, your faithful followers.

  82. Anonymous
    March 18, 2011 | 11:49 am

    You American women (and all western women, white women) are mentally ill and hopeless. Have fun growing old alone with your 10 cats, losers.

  83. Georgia Girls
    March 18, 2011 | 8:03 pm

    Those kind of compliments/comments never get old do they? :) Thanks for stopping by from Mama kat's.

  84. The Chicken's Consigliere
    March 19, 2011 | 6:14 pm

    Love those yoga pants. You're mom is nice. Glad it all came together for you in the grocery aisle. I wonder if the man you met was the one boycotting American women. Maybe he decided to hop on over to Canada to find a nice, humble, non-narcissistic 23-year-old Canadian, eh? giggle snort. Know what? I think you are priceless:-)

  85. The Zadge
    March 21, 2011 | 1:35 am

    Lululemon pants are the best! Oh, and I see that nutjob John Rambo has found your blog too! What a loser he is!

  86. Ginger
    March 22, 2011 | 9:00 pm

    Those yoga pants are looovely. Your mom has got great taste in clothes.

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