Remember these advertisements:
Well, Saturday I was at the grocery store.
Cue my commercial!
Powder foundation by Because Your Fabulous that makes my skin look like porcelain and confuses people into thinking I’m actually 23 years old: $40
See. Porcelain complexion!
…Ok. Please ignore what appears to be the bird nest on my head.
I’m too busy to wash my hair.
I’ve penciled that in for Thursday.
Box of L’Oreal hair colour to hide the grey and further confuse people into thinking I’m 23 years old: $12
Mascara that makes me look like I have beautiful long eyelashes:…well, actually the mascara was free.
It’s from my blog sponsor Because Your Fabulous.
Alright, it doesn’t look like I have a rack, but really I do. Close up.
Lulu Lemon yoga pants that make my ass go BAM! $130
…except they were a birthday gift from my mom, so I didn’t actually pay for them…
No, not my ass.
I thought of taking a picture of it, but I had just seen another blogger post a picture of her butt and I didn’t want to get accused of stealing ideas…so not my ass.
Anyway, my ass is so much juicier than this one.
Furry mukluk-type boots worn with yoga pants making the leg look even more leaner: $5
…I know you think I wrote the number down wrong, right?
Nope. They were $5.
I bought them on sale in the children’s department.
Alright, so what’s my total?
$57! $57 dollars to look like this!
Random hot-looking stranger pushing his grocery cart into the bread aisle where I was, and exclaiming:
“I had to go down 13 aisles, but I finally found the one with the good looking chick!” PRICELESS!!!
Even more priceless however, is the look on random hot-looking stranger’s face and the speed at which he beetled out of my aisle towards safety, when I exclaimed in a loud, jovial voice: “Buddy, you made my day! Now I’ve got something to blog about!”
Yeah. I know. My life could use a bit more depth.