I am not a “Yes Mom”

So, for those of you who came by yesterday and read this post, you should know that I’m incapable of remaining miserable for very long.
For one thing, being miserable is exhausting.

I spent the afternoon flopped out on the couch, watched two episodes of Private Practice, one episode of General Hospital (and for Mark over at My Simple Life, no, Demi Moore is not back yet) and forgot that I was upset.

Per Mr. Coffeypot‘s comment: “If you give up that easily, perhaps pole dancing is for you. But I think you are stronger than that and that you will retake the class and kick ass in it.”

He’s right.
I am stronger than that.
And I will retake the class next fall.
And next time this year, the fake patient will skip out of the fake hospital in full health, and come back with a small token of his affection in thanks for the excellent care I gave him, and hand over to me one hundred million dollars!!!! Muwahahahaha!

I did briefly consider not doing anything.
Just staying home.
Baking cupcakes.
Making homemade soup.

But even this afternoon, while I was wallowing in my misery in the living room, where my children can see me, I had no privacy.
They were like, “Look! There’s Mom wallowing in her misery on the couch! Let’s go be with her!”

At least as a student, I stay in my bedroom where it’s quiet to blog do my homework, and the children have specific instructions not to bother me.

Don’t get me wrong.
I do like my kids.
I just like them better when they’re in a different room than me.

Today my seven year old had a friend over.
The friend, let’s call him Overly Big for his Age Irritating Boy, says to me, “Can you take us to the park puleeeeeeeze?”
He’s got his hands clasped together, pleading.

I said, “Does that work with your mom?”

He replied, “Does what work?”

“That! The begging?”

He answered, “Yes.”

“Well, it doesn’t work with me. I’m not taking you guys to the park. I didn’t invite a friend over for Terran so I can then take you guys to the park and entertain you. If you can’t figure out what to do here, then I’ll take you back to your place.”

Overly Big for his Age Irritating Boy turns away from me and says to my son, “Geeez…at least my mom is a Yes-Mom.”


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103 Responses to I am not a “Yes Mom”
  1. Carri
    March 30, 2011 | 12:36 am

    Tell that fat kid to STFU and go home. BOOM.

  2. Queen B
    March 30, 2011 | 12:40 am

    “No” is my favorite word. If someone called me a “Yes-”anything, I would have to kick their ass.

    Good job on hopping back in the saddle again. That fake patient better be ready for Round 2 :)

  3. Bridget
    March 30, 2011 | 12:40 am

    YAY for deciding to retake the class!!

    I'm not a 'yes mom' either…sucks for my kid :-0

  4. From Tracie
    March 30, 2011 | 12:40 am

    Ooooh…what a manipulative little brat! Yuck!

    Good for you for going back to that class. Next time around you are going to rock it!!

  5. Dazee Dreamer
    March 30, 2011 | 12:42 am

    haha. you're not a yes-mom.

  6. Tipsy - tipsyreader.com
    March 30, 2011 | 12:44 am

    What a little doucheroo! Shame on his mom for caving so quickly to his whims. Geez.

    On another note I'm so happy for you!!!

  7. SkippyMom
    March 30, 2011 | 12:45 am

    Well I don't know where you said anything about being fat, but OVKFHA [which could, feasibly mean tall or big boned] got a good lesson in awesome parenting.

    Nicely done. And I would've said the same thing – what ever happened to entertaining yourself.

  8. SkippyMom
    March 30, 2011 | 12:48 am

    * and evidently I am bad at acronyms.

    Evidently I was channeling Russian when I wrote “OVKFHA” for what you said.

    And no, I am not attempting it again.

    One fail a night is basically my limit.

  9. XLMIC
    March 30, 2011 | 12:48 am

    Oh, great… I was really counting on you to help me get rich and famous creating our media empire ;-) Those lucky fake patients… getting you for another term of fake life-saving… I have no doubts that you will pass with flying colors :)

    As for being a 'yes-mom'… only when it serves me, and then it is a manipulative tactic on MY part!

  10. Julianna
    March 30, 2011 | 12:50 am

    Wow. “Yes Mom”

    See now I would have spun that in a totally different direction. :)

  11. Kristina P.
    March 30, 2011 | 12:50 am

    Have you tried Lifetime Movies? You haven't lived until your dentist tries to impregnate you.

  12. laughingmom
    March 30, 2011 | 12:56 am

    Being the hot no-mom that you are, I'm surprised that real patients aren't lining up for your TLC or Mouth-to-mouth – Mr. Fake Patient should consider himself LUCKY!

  13. Joy
    March 30, 2011 | 1:02 am

    Hahahahahah!!! Yes!!!!!

  14. Leslie
    March 30, 2011 | 1:06 am

    Ugh what an annoying ass brat!

  15. Gigi
    March 30, 2011 | 1:07 am

    I knew you wouldn't cave….because I have feeling that you are like me in the area of “dammit! Are you kidding me? I WILL defeat you!”

    And “yes mom”? Yeah, I don't rank high on that scale either.

  16. Anita @ GoingALittleCoastal
    March 30, 2011 | 1:09 am

    Oh no he di'int!

    It must have been his first time at your house.

  17. Making It Work Mom
    March 30, 2011 | 1:10 am

    I totally would have caved in to the cupcake baking and soup making. There are ways around the children. But then I always knew you were a stronger person than me.

  18. Bouncin' Barb
    March 30, 2011 | 1:10 am

    If you become a psychiatric nurse, you could play nurse Ratchett in the remake of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Then you can scare the crap out of that little shit with a few character acting lessons. Stick to your guns Mom!

  19. stephanie
    March 30, 2011 | 1:11 am

    Irritating, seriously who invites a kid over to entertain them? No one I know. I do playdates so they'll entertain each other. And a yes mom? Lame.

  20. Diane
    March 30, 2011 | 1:16 am

    His mom is in for it when he gets older unless she figures out a way to nip that “Yes Mom” shit in the bud!

    Glad you decided to retake the class.

  21. Jen
    March 30, 2011 | 1:41 am

    Hey! Wanted to stop by and tell you I love your blog. I've shown it to all my friends, and love the thrill of reading it in class (I'm still in highschool… unfortunately) without a picture of a vagina appearing on my screen. Keep up the good work!

  22. Rebecca
    March 30, 2011 | 1:46 am

    I'm pretty sure if you click on over to my blog today, you'll read why yes mom's suck. and NO moms rule

  23. karensomethingorother
    March 30, 2011 | 1:46 am

    EW. That kid would have IMMEDIATELY lost me with the innocent little begging angel shtick.

  24. Coffeypot
    March 30, 2011 | 1:47 am

    My granddaughter found out the hard way that pleading and eye blinking will NEVER get her what you wants. Even if she's drowning and starts that shit, well, she had better swim or learn how to walk on water. But on the other hand, if she yells that she is drowning but doesn’t need my help…I’ll he on her like a bass on swivel plug.

  25. Kate
    March 30, 2011 | 2:20 am

    *fucker* bahahahahahahahahaha My boys have a friend like that. It's not so much a “yes” thing as its a “stfu and get off the floor already I'm sick of listening to you”… I enjoy coming from a place of No myself :)

  26. Antares Cryptos
    March 30, 2011 | 2:22 am

    He's going to have problems if he thinks the whole world will always say yes.

    Catching up. Sorry to hear about the test. Good to hear you're not giving up.

  27. " Hit It......."
    March 30, 2011 | 2:40 am

    Tell “Mr. Coffeypot” his bedside manner sucks. However, his intentions were great!

    I hate it when my kids have “needy” friends over. It then becomes my job to entertain everyone. Since when did our parents entertain us? Bravo to you, for not caving.

    btw – I live in Utah. Coffee is on me! :)

  28. Nari
    March 30, 2011 | 2:41 am

    On a good day, I'm a “maybe” mom. Plus, don't you just other people's children?

  29. Lemons Don't Make Lemonade
    March 30, 2011 | 3:11 am

    Good luck with the course. (:

    My mom is a “yes, sweetie, OF COURSE I WILL” mom to everyone that is not related to us, but to me, eh, she's more like “hmmmmm. I'm reading my bible……later, honey, okay?”

  30. Alessandra
    March 30, 2011 | 3:29 am

    Tell that little overgrown budding pita to go run around the yard for a couple of hours. I know you'll do great and make a killing with those fake patients….you go girl!

  31. Alessandra
    March 30, 2011 | 3:29 am

    Tell that little overgrown budding pita to go run around the yard for a couple of hours. I know you'll do great and make a killing with those fake patients….you go girl!

  32. Rita
    March 30, 2011 | 3:42 am

    I'm glad to hear you are going to go back with a vengeance and I hope the fake patient leaves you a fake trillion dollars! And maybe you still get the offer for the blogging for mucho moolah!

    I was the mom who the kids could come to for the truth (they told me) and talk about life problems and decisions–and we'd always have a good laugh, too. But entertain them?…play with them? Nope…they knew they needed to learn how to be independent thinkers and how to occupy themselves (and hopefully be making good choices while they did). ;)

  33. Rachel
    March 30, 2011 | 4:36 am

    Yes Mom? What the heck is that? Because I sure don't know.

    And inviting another kid over? Only so they can entertain your kid. Works for me.

    Begging drives.me.up.the.wall…

    Glad you're gonna give the school thing another whack :)

  34. anSeL
    March 30, 2011 | 4:40 am

    i'm not a yes-mom either…
    i know you can do it, there's nothing wrong in taking it again…

  35. Lady Old Soul
    March 30, 2011 | 4:41 am

    What a little he-bitch. My kids know better than to act that way…it brings out the “Hmm, you're bored? What needs to be done around the house right now?”, and they avoid that like the plague. I'd tell Fatty Fatty Boom Batty's mom that, since you're not the 'YES-MOM' that she prides herself on being, that her tittybaby of a son can't come over to your house anymore because he might be *gasps* BORED!

  36. Lazarus
    March 30, 2011 | 4:56 am

    You're rebounding Sandra, bravo! Whatever you do, keep blogging, too many people look forward to your posts, even the dead fake patient would enjoy them. Maybe you can make Overly-Big-Annoying Boy your next guinea pig in class….

  37. Jessica
    March 30, 2011 | 5:24 am

    I am so not a “yes-mom” either when it comes to other little kids begging me for things. I'm glad you decided not to give up on school.

  38. Nicole
    March 30, 2011 | 5:48 am

    I'm not sure if I'm a yes-mom or not. Depends on my mood or the availability of my mood-altering drugs. But, I do hate most kids that did not emerge from my abdomen. Which makes me not a kid person. Strange.

  39. Yvonne
    March 30, 2011 | 5:51 am

    I knew you'd perk back up! Get back in the saddle again! Put one foot in front of the other! -Esh! Okay I'm done with the motivational quotes that I'm not even putting in quotations because I'm too tired to scroll back up. Wow, what a brat that kid! But the comment one of your followers made, “HE-BITCH” made my night! LMAO!!!

  40. Coffeypot
    March 30, 2011 | 6:51 am

    What bedside manners? What intentions? Did I miss something here? And who the fuck are you?

  41. Belle
    March 30, 2011 | 7:56 am

    My favorite part is where you like your kids better when they are in a different room than you. Deep down don't we all?

  42. Stacy Lynn
    March 30, 2011 | 9:35 am

    Argh…my daughter is the beggar, at least with me. She's 18 and I've always hoped she doesn't do that anywhere else. I'd probably be disappointed if I knew the truth.

  43. becca
    March 30, 2011 | 10:13 am

    way to go mom and i love the part about liking your kids better whenthey're in a different room to funny

  44. Lola
    March 30, 2011 | 12:19 pm

    How did I miss that you were struggling with a class? I read you every day! Sorry about that (the class and missing that post) What good timing though! You and I are going to ditch all of our responsibilities and we are going to take pole dancing lessons! We'll have so much fun! Imagine how healthy your male patients will become when you show them your mad pole dancing moves! By the way, you know what happens to 'YES' Moms? They get pistol whipped by their spoiled rotten bastard children. (taken directly from the news. Really) I am nothing if not a reliable reporter. Ahem.

  45. Deborah
    March 30, 2011 | 12:20 pm

    Overly Big for his Age Irritating Boy LOL, you do make me laugh :o )

  46. Date Girl
    March 30, 2011 | 12:43 pm

    I love it! My mom was the same way. She always made us entertain ourselves and you know what? Now that I'm a grown up, I am a lot more capable of enjoying my time alone than a lot of people I know. You're doing it right!

    So sorry to hear about your skills test but I agree, you can't give up. That's a tough industry to get into but you can do it!

  47. Tara
    March 30, 2011 | 1:03 pm

    Our poor kids will be scarred for life because we don't give in to every little whim….shoot! Even if I had wanted to take the kids somewhere, I would have said “no” just based on the begging act.

  48. The Minute Man's Wife
    March 30, 2011 | 1:10 pm

    Coffeypot is pretty awesome! I'm glad you were able to find the answer you were looking for No One can keep the No Mom down for very long!

  49. Dina @ 4 Lettre Words
    March 30, 2011 | 1:42 pm

    LOVE that friend's name. :) Thanks for the laugh this morning!

  50. Jessica
    March 30, 2011 | 2:09 pm

    Baaaahahahahaha…..I love my kids, but other peoples kids GET ON MY NERVES!!!!

  51. DCHY
    March 30, 2011 | 2:22 pm

    Glad you're gonna take it again. As for the boy, I am not a Yes Dad either. Life is a bitch and she has sisters…

  52. life in the mom lane
    March 30, 2011 | 2:32 pm

    Much to my kids dismay hubby & I have never been yes parents- we take the hard stance and say no when necessary- not always the popular decision- but oh well…

    and you know what- we constantly have people asking what our “secret” was to having “great” kids?

    I usually respond with something like- I can be their friend later when they are older- now it's my job to be their parent and that sometimes means making them do things they don't want and saying no….

  53. Sheila
    March 30, 2011 | 2:58 pm

    HA! Love it! No worries – I'm president of the “mean mom club!”

  54. Heather
    March 30, 2011 | 3:08 pm

    If my children continue to beg after I have already said, “No.” I go the other way and start taking away stuff or priviledges they alreay had. :)
    From time to time though I am overwhelmed by their cuteness….especially when they are in another room.

  55. PBJdreamer
    March 30, 2011 | 3:39 pm


    yes mom

    I AM NOT a yes mom either

    that is all

  56. Mandy_Fish
    March 30, 2011 | 3:50 pm

    I think if we ever whined or begged my mother would simply say: “Go outside and play.”

  57. twelvedaysold
    March 30, 2011 | 4:16 pm

    There is a show called the Venture Bros. It is a totally ridiculous cartoon. It's about a son of a dead scientist and he has two over-protected teenagers who are socially stupid. The family has a bodyguard who is intense.

    The dad is hosting a kids camp at his giant compound, and one of his teenage sons makes friends with the only teenager who shows up, and he's the most irritating kid on the planet. The bodyguard is teaching kids self-defense, and the Irritating Boy keeps saying how stupid that stuff is and how his hands are licensed killing machines. The bodyguard has an increasingly hard time dealing with this kid's rudeness, and keeps trying to find kids his age to beat him up. Finally at the end of the episode, the other teenage son can no longer take the rude things he's saying and beats the crap out of Irritating Boy. The dad tells the bodyguard to break it up and he's like, “No, NO! Let them work it out! Yeah!!!!”

    Reminded me of that kid is all.

  58. Brandy Rose
    March 30, 2011 | 4:26 pm

    I had to drop a class this semester and was all upset about it until it came to me to take it again next semester. We got this!

  59. Monkey Man
    March 30, 2011 | 4:52 pm

    Calling a child “Fucker?” Really! Don't you think it would be more appropriate to call him “Annoying Little Fucker?”

    BTW – Mr. Coffeepot is right.

  60. Raven
    March 30, 2011 | 5:02 pm

    You go girl. Both on the school thing and the telling Overly Big for His Age Irritating Boy just what he could do with his begging. You rock.

    And yes, what a fucker.

  61. meleah rebeccah
    March 30, 2011 | 5:14 pm

    Oh yay! I'm so happy your “over it” already – and that you are back to feeling and being yourself again!

    “I do like my kids.
    I just like them better when they're in a different room than me.”


  62. Boobies
    March 30, 2011 | 5:49 pm

    LMFAO! I love you!

  63. like.thunder
    March 30, 2011 | 5:51 pm

    fucking right! way to tell that little shit off. i fucking hate asshole kids.

  64. Mark
    March 30, 2011 | 6:21 pm

    Hey, thanks for giving me a “shout out” and letting me know that Demi isn't back on G.H.
    Also, I would love for someone to stay home, clean and bake cupcakes for me. What can I say? I'm a 50's kind of husband trapped in a 21st century gay man's body.

  65. WhisperingWriter
    March 30, 2011 | 7:08 pm

    Ugh, Tommy has an annoying friend like that. It's why I don't let him in the house anymore. He wouldn't shut up.

  66. CkretsGalore
    March 30, 2011 | 7:16 pm

    Funny thing is that I would assume you to be a Yes Mom. Call me crazy….

  67. The Onion
    March 30, 2011 | 7:20 pm

    Excellent bounce-back. I suggested bad magazine, but Private Practice is pretty darn close.

    I dislike kids at my house too, since it really just stirs up trouble for me. And, I have to temper the sexy TV I want to watch since they are intermittently running through the room. Sigh.

    I am not a Yes-Mom either, or a No-Mom. I am a “Seriously?”-Mom

    Yes, Seriously.

  68. LuLu Kellogg
    March 30, 2011 | 8:04 pm

    You crack me up. Period.

    LOVE my dose of Narcissism!

    Good for you that you are taking your class again.


  69. Nan | WrathOfMom
    March 30, 2011 | 8:46 pm

    Good for you! Misery is exhausting — but not as exhausting as putting up with a whiny beggy kid.

  70. Ameena
    March 30, 2011 | 8:59 pm

    Okay…so you put it perfectly when you said that you like your kids, you just like them in a different room more. I'm going to steal this statement. I hope you don't mind. But honestly, it says what I've been trying to say for years! Just far more eloquently.

  71. Cake Betch
    March 30, 2011 | 9:18 pm

    If he's overly big for his age AND irritating I think there is a law somewhere that states you are allowed to clothesline him upon sight. Just sayin.

  72. KittyCat
    March 31, 2011 | 12:18 am

    Im not a yes mom either
    my son does get alot of things he wants within reason. : )

  73. Sparkling
    March 31, 2011 | 12:42 am

    this is what's wrong with this world. somewhere, mothers got the idea that their job during playdates is to do the entertaining and stick their nose into everything. remember when you had a friend over and your mother wwas so relieved that she didn't have to listen to you for hours while you were holed up in your room? except for the occasional “can we…” to which she always said “NO, NOW STOP ASKING”. keep saying no!!

  74. Sara @ Domestically Challenged
    March 31, 2011 | 2:14 am

    You will rock it. Trust me. Like you, I like to give up at first, but eventually I get mad and go 110%!

  75. Shabbygal
    March 31, 2011 | 3:00 am

    yay for you sandra! There are way to many yes parents in the world today!Good attempt at wallowing! Traci

  76. Linda Medrano
    March 31, 2011 | 3:16 am

    I'm proud of you. And that's for a lot of reasons. You Rock Sandra!

  77. MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings
    March 31, 2011 | 6:07 am

    “Don't get me wrong.
    I do like my kids.
    I just like them better when they're in a different room than me.”

    You have a terrible attitude.

    I love you.

  78. dosweatthesmallstuff
    March 31, 2011 | 6:40 am

    Same here, am definitely not a “Yes Mom.” More like a “Can't Touch This Mom and Wife.”

    And yeah. I don't like kids when they're not mine.

  79. Slyde
    March 31, 2011 | 2:30 pm

    anyone who tells you that i watched General Hospital religiously for almost 20 years is a liar.

    i would never admit to that in a public forum.. no maam.

  80. EmptyNester
    March 31, 2011 | 2:49 pm

    When our girls were growing up I let them have other kids over to entertain each other not just so I could have yet another child to entertain myself- I'm with you on that for sure!

    I never thought of it that way, but you're right about misery. It really IS exhausting.

  81. Laura
    March 31, 2011 | 4:03 pm

    You know I can handle alot but cheeky children do my head in!

    Be naughty rather but dont cheek me!

    I have a zero tolerance for it!

  82. nitebyrd
    March 31, 2011 | 5:27 pm

    Girl, you've GOT to become a nurse! Srsly, you've got such a command of verbally grabbing people by the balls (i.e. that kid!) that you'll be running the damn hospital in no time!

    I liked my kids the best when they were at friends houses! ;)

  83. Impulsive Addict
    March 31, 2011 | 6:04 pm

    OMG! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!! I love you!!!!!

  84. Leila (Don't Speak Whinese)
    March 31, 2011 | 6:41 pm

    I'm not a yes Mom either… I'm a .. I don't raise whiney, spoiled, entitled kids Mom who says convince me or suck it up!

    The whole begging “Please please please please please pleeeaaase” thing irritates me. I tell me kids that they always use their nice words and ask politely but don't expect to get their way.

  85. gayle
    April 1, 2011 | 12:25 am

    Good for you for not being a Yes Mom! You won't regret it!!

  86. Queen B
    April 1, 2011 | 1:14 am

    Thought of you last night while I was laying in bed with my husband…. *haha*

    We were having a rather nice conversation, and I said “no” about something, and he replied, “no is your favorite word. Even when you could say 'yes' you say 'no.'”

    I was honestly kind of shocked…. I thought I hid my bitchiness better than that (and also thought that he generally didn't listen to me so was surprised that he had so much insight).

  87. Opto-Mom
    April 1, 2011 | 5:12 am

    Next time tell him, “Yeah, and that's why you're a fat little fucker. BOO-YAH!”

  88. pattypunker
    April 1, 2011 | 3:52 pm

    tell him to use his imagination if he can find it under all those fat rolls.

  89. Meg at the Members Lounge
    April 1, 2011 | 5:40 pm

    That is HILARIOUS. My sister's kid has a friend just like that, but way fresher. Like rolls his eyes and makes faces fresh. Kudos for not being a YES Mom!

  90. Flying high in the sky....
    April 1, 2011 | 6:39 pm

    :) i am happy that you are not unhappy anymore… makes me feel good .. and the end 2 paras of the post made me laugh… you somehow manage to make me feel light and happy … and giggly …

  91. Mrsblogalot
    April 1, 2011 | 11:00 pm

    Sounds like his Mom gave him too many chocolate covered yes's

    ….I'll just blame his father for the irritating part.

  92. jacqui
    April 2, 2011 | 12:55 am

    Part of the boy's problem could be that his parents named him Overly Big For His Age Irritating Boy. He never had a chance!

  93. Emily
    April 2, 2011 | 3:10 am

    I avoid invited my kids friends over in an attempt to avoid situations like this! Good for you for putting the kid in his place!

  94. Deborah
    April 2, 2011 | 11:22 am


    Kids like him make me glad he's not mine.

    Nice nice nice.

  95. laughingwolf
    April 2, 2011 | 4:11 pm

    i see you really like kids… wanna exchange recipes? :P lol

  96. Crystal Escobar
    April 2, 2011 | 8:29 pm

    Hahaha-this made me laugh!

  97. Anita
    April 3, 2011 | 2:10 am

    Isn't is interesting how we were born with an innate desire to have kids; how we have one after the other; how we love them so much – yet, they just really get on our nerves…a lot. And then they have friends who get on our nerves, too.

    We count down the days until they go to kindergarten…high school, and finally college. Whew! They get jobs, get married, move to another town…

    And then we want them back!

    That's what I hear. :)

  98. Shell
    April 3, 2011 | 7:34 pm

    I'm not a yes-mom, either. At least not when there is whining involved. You whine, I say no.

    I think you will appreciate this: My kindergartener telling all sorts of April Fools Jokes on Friday. Then, he started whining, asking if we could go get ice cream. I said “yes… April fools!” and no, I didn't give in and take him.

  99. Lalis
    April 4, 2011 | 5:34 am

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I could have seen myself saying the exact same thing. And I'm not even a mother yet…

    Way to not be a “Yes-Mom”! Those and their kids are the ones I always want to slap in the back of the head at the grocery store/movie theater/mall/you name it.

  100. Jill
    April 5, 2011 | 3:35 am

    Glad you're feeling yourself again ;)

  101. purplume
    April 5, 2011 | 6:47 pm

    You crack me up. I could say rofl but I wouldn't roll on this floor.

    About that class — it's our strengths that get us into the most trouble you know.

  102. Ginger
    April 5, 2011 | 9:15 pm

    High five Mom! You're my kind. I wouldnt want to be that little focker's girlfriend in 10yrs time. Sheesh!

  103. The Adorkable Ditz
    April 6, 2011 | 5:00 pm

    Wow talk about a rude kid.

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