To blog or not to blog

When I first started blogging, I had no idea what I was doing.
I had no direction.

I remember in one of my first posts telling my reader (because I think I had one then) that I was sitting around, watching The View and eating dill pickle popcorn.
The comment read something to the effect: “Dill pickle popcorn? What the hell is that?”

Well, it’s pretty clear what it is, right?
It’s popcorn with dill pickle seasoning.

Anyway, the comment made me realize that my blog needed more of a theme if I was going to get anywhere.
…oh, and for those of you who don’t already know this about me yet, my goal is to rule the world.
Just thought I’d get that out there before continuing…

So fast forward to now.
My blog still has no direction.

However, I have developed a certain style.
I will say and show most anything, as proven in the post where my old dilapidated vibrator made a special appearance.

One of my readers made a comment along the lines of “you put up a picture of your droopy drawers, and people come to see it.”
I guess so.

Droopy Drawers:


It’s fascinating, right.

But now I’ve come to a bit of a crossroads.

I do notice that many bloggers start out similarly to me, then somewhere along the lines, they get asked to do reviews and giveaways.
Last night I was over at Things I Can’t Say, and Shell, the very charming and delightful blogger was showing off the great outfit she was given to wear at Blissdom by a clothing company called Fresh Produce.
And I was like, “I want free clothes too!”
Now here’s the problem.
I’m pretty sure there are no companies dying to have me representing them when I go around posting pictures of my droopy drawers…
…although, if I was the marketing director of an undergarment company, I would so be giving me new panties.
But I want more than panties.
I want a cute outfit.

I want to wear it at BlogHer 2011 in San Diego with my cute shoes, and be all in my posts, “Look at me in this picture rocking this adorable sundress by _____________ [insert any company who is falling for this shameless pimpin' post].”

So if I want to get noticed by anybody who is going to sponsor me and/or give me free shit to wear, then I have to tone down the language, stop saying the word ‘penis’ so much, and find some direction.
I’m serious about this.
I can do this.
….anybody buying this?
Me neither.
Did you like this? Share it:
89 Responses to To blog or not to blog
    February 14, 2011 | 2:01 pm

    When you figure out the magic formula, be sure to share. I just won a giveaway prize, but could use a sponsor or two as well.

    Maybe one day I'll be able to NASCAR my little compact car up with ads for internet sites or something.

    With my luck, I'll get all the porn sites. Look! Here comes the RedTube car again! Wooo!!!

  2. Gigi
    February 14, 2011 | 2:18 pm

    Oh come on, with your hot bod, the companies will be banging at your door. You just need to go ask!

    I cannot wait to meet you at blogHer!!!!

  3. AbsolutelyPrimed
    February 14, 2011 | 2:20 pm

    You had me at Dill Pickle Popcorn!!

  4. Misfits Vintage
    February 14, 2011 | 2:22 pm

    Duh. Clearly you need sponsorship from the dill pickle flavoring people. You are like their frickin international spokesperson anyway, so they OWE YOU already. Hit em up for all that back pay they owe and they buy yourself the cutest sundress ever and twit that tweety shit all over the shop.

    And this is why they pay me the mediocre bucks.

    Sarah xxx

  5. " Hit It......."
    February 14, 2011 | 2:23 pm

    Have to say, you have guts! You post true stuff (ripped undies and ALL). I want some free stuff too. Your blog is at least funny; mine family oriented and boring!

  6. Alessandra
    February 14, 2011 | 2:24 pm

    Am I missing something? everybody talks about your hot bod, but I don't see it on the blog. Maybe you should post a pic, with the droopy drawers, so all the fashion companies will give you a holler..
    Btw, what's this Blogger 2011 in SD? Spill the beans please..

  7. Moooooog35
    February 14, 2011 | 2:24 pm

    If you really need an outlet for posting underwear pictures, I will send you my cell number.

    I'm here for you.

  8. nitebyrd
    February 14, 2011 | 2:31 pm

    Hmmm … I know how to get free vibrators and goodies like that. I do notice that female bloggers with good bodies get free lingerie (I think you qualify for that). But as for real clothes, I haven't a clue.

    There's always someone that'll look at your droopy undies. And ever more who'd look if you were wearing them whilst using the vibrator! That might be a way to get your BlogHer ticket. ;)

  9. KittyCat
    February 14, 2011 | 2:42 pm

    You are too funny.

    I started my blog because i needed an outlet to not think about my health condition.
    I had no idea what I was doing. Had not plan. or Direction. or writing style.
    I wasnt trying to bring in followers at the time.
    over the last year blogging has changed and means something completely different to me.
    Whether you show your “granny” panties or not I still love to hear what you have to say.
    Keep it coming.

    Happy Valentines Day

  10. Portia
    February 14, 2011 | 2:42 pm

    You would like sponsors and I don't see why not! You're funny, quirky and nice-looking as well. Your blog has a lot of followers and you receive plenty of comments on ALL of your posts. Your honesty is refreshing. Your language is, well, language that everyone hears every day. It adds to your post, not distracts.

    So, there ya go. This coming from the blogger with 10 followers and a few comments. My life is boring and I am not ready to be OUT THERE, ya know? Why else do I use a pseudonym?

  11. DCHY
    February 14, 2011 | 2:52 pm

    I started blogging at MySpace because someone liked how I wrote. I made a pact to blog once a week for 2 years straight AND not blog about little nothings (something like “Got up at 6:27 am and went to work, found a sweet spot in parking lot, boss gave me hell, and I went home” or some meaningless crap).

    Along the way, I discovered my flair for writing…but I felt restricted in a way. A friend told me about Blogger and how it wouldn't care what you say/write/show. I decided to explore the sexual side of myself (I still do…on another blog) and found my erotic groove there.

    Decided to blog about being a deaf parent and created DCHY. Been a fun ride. Now, if someone could be my sugar mama… ;)

  12. laughingmom
    February 14, 2011 | 2:56 pm

    If you get a cute outfit – forget the panties! – you don't want unsightly panty lines, do you?

  13. Rebecca
    February 14, 2011 | 3:01 pm

    There is no such thing as bad publicity. So swear and use potty words all you want. Every time a store page gets clicked the store makes money off the purchases that the clickers clicked. Does that even make sense…I know what I mean. I hope you do to.

  14. N. R. Williams
    February 14, 2011 | 3:12 pm

    LOL, I've got some really old panties. Maybe…nope, I won't even go there.

    I have several awards for you on my blog.
    N. R. Williams, fantasy author

  15. JennyJenJen
    February 14, 2011 | 3:27 pm

    my dearest sandra,

    i don't think there is a magic formula.. Be yourself. Blog because *you* want to. Write about what you love and are passionate about. Let your hilarious personality continue to shine through. Otherwise, what's the point really?

  16. Anonymous
    February 14, 2011 | 3:30 pm

    Why American men should boycott American women

    I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

    American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

    This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.


  17. StephanieC | Seriously? Really?? Seriously?
    February 14, 2011 | 3:33 pm

    Hmmm. I can offer you NO words of advice, because I'm not yet at even at tenth of your following.

    I'm not sure how the endorsed bloggers do it… Because penises are fun to blog about. It's true.

    In fact, I don't think it's ever hindered The Bloggess. So…. more penis!!

  18. Samantha Dugan
    February 14, 2011 | 3:34 pm

    Didn't buy it for a second…..

  19. Heather
    February 14, 2011 | 3:43 pm

    How about you keep cussing and I'll just send you some of my clothes?!
    What? I am trying to help.

  20. The Restaurant Manager
    February 14, 2011 | 3:53 pm

    Good! Don't sell out! They need to take you as you are!! That's why people read your blog!!

  21. Raven
    February 14, 2011 | 3:55 pm

    I'll forgo the free sh*t if I can cuss, talk about penises, and post pics of sex toys on my blog too. Actually a sex toy company once offered me a free toy of my choice if I reviewed it on my blog. I was all hell yeah! I wonder what ever happened to them, I need a new rabbit!

  22. anSeL
    February 14, 2011 | 3:58 pm

    just write what you like!
    it's what your readers want.

  23. 2busy
    February 14, 2011 | 4:13 pm

    I'm right along with ya for wanting to review free stuff. When you find out the secret to success, please let us know.

  24. Kristina P.
    February 14, 2011 | 4:24 pm

    I don't make money off my blog. It's something I decided for myself. I blog because I enjoy it, and I don't want to start feeling like I owe something to sponsors.

    I don't begrudge anyone who can get free stuff from their great writing. But it's not for me.

    BTW, I'm back!

  25. SkippyMom
    February 14, 2011 | 4:31 pm

    You mean hasn't contacted you?

    OMG – they contacted me and gave me a free dress to review.

    I have no idea how that happened [although I am quite happy about it] but, seriously – how do I get a perk and you with your penises [penii?] droopy panties and suspect toys not get an offer.

    We must work on this.

    Skippy on a mission. Which usually would cause people to gasp and cower, but I think I can handle THIS one.


  26. Big Fat Gini
    February 14, 2011 | 4:35 pm

    Dang. And I thought yelling “penis” in large crowds brought you more attention. Well crap. Now what do I do?

    I'm not big into the money making/sponsorship thing, but I think it's great that you've got a plan and a goal! I wish you tons and tons of luck!

  27. Sparkling
    February 14, 2011 | 4:51 pm

    I was contacted by CSN to get $35 toward any product I wanted. And i did. And I was pleased. But I want to be asked to review cool stuff too!

    Oh, and you're not blocked at school anymore. Which can be very dangerous when you post things like vibrators and underwear!!

  28. manders
    February 14, 2011 | 5:08 pm

    FREE stuff?? i LOVE free stuff! i don't even care what it is, i must have it! i wrote a post once about all the useless free crap i was accumulating while living in china (and now a shameless plug for my blog…:
    But i'm not striving for free blog stuff. first i need a cult following. see above re shameless plug. now go.

  29. CkretsGalore
    February 14, 2011 | 5:18 pm

    *whew* I thought you were being serious for a second. I so did your blog as it makes me LOL that's why I gave you an LOL award! tee hee.

    Your ginch is something I do not understand…perhaps because I'm the opposite. I have a pantie addiction (and my fiancee is a total enabler).
    My fave cotton boy shorts right now are pink with “Super Slut,” on the ass with rhinestones. Yessss.
    I'm also all about the satin and lace but lets face it…cotton breathes.

  30. FreeFlying
    February 14, 2011 | 5:38 pm

    Isn't it enough that you have tons of readers an commenters and the intense jealousy of one particular me? Plus you know they'd just give you some Stepford sundress and a homely cardigan and you'd be all like, “Here's a picture of me, presenting this new and irresistible shade of puke green and baby vomit brown…”

    We'd better keep things like they are.

  31. Sausage Fingers
    February 14, 2011 | 5:39 pm

    Naked pictures always work:)
    good luck…

  32. Bouncin' Barb
    February 14, 2011 | 5:46 pm

    If they are smart they will give you stuff anyway. Your blog would get their stuff advertised better than the KY ads on TV.

  33. Coffeypot
    February 14, 2011 | 6:53 pm

    PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not screw up an awesome blog by starting that giveaway shit. If I need something, I'll go to Wal Mart or Goodwill or someplace nice, like Dollar General and get it. When I go to my regular peeps and they have a giveaway, I don't even stay long enough to read what it is or what it's all about. You stuff is too good to dilute it with crap. Advertise on the sides or at the end of a post, but do not devote a post to giveaways. Please!
    If you need new panties, I'll buy you some eatable ones.

  34. twelvedaysold
    February 14, 2011 | 7:15 pm

    Thank you for blogging. I like you.

  35. lyndylou
    February 14, 2011 | 8:37 pm

    Free stuff?? Really!! I think your blog is totally ace without any of that stuff!

  36. Tracy
    February 14, 2011 | 8:39 pm

    Thank you for blogging and just being you…you have direction, it's just a whatever comes to mind direction. Who says it needs to follow straight and narrow?
    If it serves a puprose for you and you like it? who the hell cares if you say the word penis too often…they'll get over it or NOT! so what…

  37. Jane Kennedy Sutton
    February 14, 2011 | 8:40 pm

    As they (I have no idea who they are) say, “Once you set your mind to something, you can make it happen.” So good luck at getting a new outfit for free and ruling the world.

  38. Ms.Wasteland
    February 14, 2011 | 8:44 pm

    I have no idea how to go about getting the goodies but good luck!

  39. Krissy
    February 14, 2011 | 8:50 pm

    Girl, I saw that someone sent Kristine at Wait in the Van some clothes, and how is she much different than you? So go buy yourself some new drawers! I'm sure freebies will come your way. :) (I love ya, so don't go changing for drawers btw, not that I thought you would.)

  40. Linda Medrano
    February 14, 2011 | 9:24 pm

    If I owned a swimwear company, I would give you free stuff and ask you to wear it all the time! And you could use the words penis and vagina in every post!

  41. Lightning Bug's Butt
    February 14, 2011 | 9:47 pm

    Great post.

    I laughed when I read about your dill popcorn.

    You should be proud. All a good blog needs, as you observed, is its own style. Direction is optional.

  42. Gigi
    February 14, 2011 | 11:08 pm

    You mean to tell me that their are companies giving shit away to bloggers? For real?

    Hmmph! And no one has contacted me either.

  43. Monkey Man
    February 14, 2011 | 11:14 pm

    Self promotion is great but accepting advertising on your blog…tacky. dondoti.

  44. Holly Ruggiero
    February 15, 2011 | 12:20 am

    I'm glad you explained the dill pickle popcorn – its sound self-explanatory but it's not.

  45. Julianna
    February 15, 2011 | 12:24 am

    I started with the thought of sharing my rambles and if I could make a buck or two, great. But now that the companies are starting to come around I feel weird about hawking their stuff on my blog, ya know?

    I mean it's one thing to have the ads where people can click if they want, it's another to spend time writing about something someone gave you to promote.

    Course, I may feel different if someone actually sent me something I could use. :)

  46. Mamma has spoken
    February 15, 2011 | 12:54 am

    Well I noticed that you took down the adds on the side bar. Maybe you should see if any of those places are willing to give away freebees. I mean hey, I'm sure the sex toy industry is willing to give you some samples with that last post of yours ;o)

  47. caterpillar
    February 15, 2011 | 1:01 am
  48. myevil3yearold
    February 15, 2011 | 1:24 am

    NOOOOOO! Don't change anything!

  49. becca
    February 15, 2011 | 2:51 am

    Happy Valentine's Day! and please don't change

  50. Polly
    February 15, 2011 | 3:27 am

    Your blog is fabulous with or without the free stuff. Good for you.

  51. Carri
    February 15, 2011 | 3:33 am

    OK, you get like 7500 facking comments on every blog post, so don't change anything! We love you just the way you are, saggy panties and all!

  52. On My Soapbox
    February 15, 2011 | 3:47 am

    Well, you could always model for Hugh Hefner. ;-)

  53. Momma Jorje
    February 15, 2011 | 4:13 am

    Yeah, definitely not dropping the style… because then you might lose your readers and why would they give you free shit to show off on your blog if you had no visitors?

    They need to love you as you are! And yeah, they should totally be throwing (new) panties at you! lol

  54. Lazarus
    February 15, 2011 | 4:53 am

    Dill pickle popcorn – yuck! But once I get past that, I'm sure there are plenty of clothing companies out there who would love to have you model their stuff. I'll see if I can commission an LG Report line of dresses in time for BlogHer 2011. They'll be a bit tight, of course, just the way LG Report readers like to see 'em!

  55. Mrs. Beer
    February 15, 2011 | 5:19 am

    yyyeahhh for people who say the word “penis” too much!

  56. Copyboy
    February 15, 2011 | 5:22 am

    Well if you do wind up buying it, I'd be honored if you joined my community @ If not, I'll be heart broken. :) Happy V-day once again!

  57. Jessica D Torres
    February 15, 2011 | 5:56 am

    I hope you don't change your style because I love reading your blog and you always make me laugh. I'm going to BlogHer too and I might not be wearing cute shoes like you or a free dress like others but I hope I get to meet you because you are hilarious!

  58. MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings
    February 15, 2011 | 7:46 am

    The droopy drawers caught my attention, of course–I'm a man–but a “dilapidated” vibrator? As in heavily used? I'll have to read the post, I guess. In the meantime, I'll let Adam & Eve or Fredericks of Hollywood know you're in the market for some advertising dollars.

  59. Symdaddy
    February 15, 2011 | 8:53 am

    If you are referring to my comment re your pants (and I assume you may well be), I would just like to point out that the word 'droopy' was never used. I'm sure you butt more than adequately fills the material to the max, thus eliminating unnecessary droop.

    It could have been worse! I could have said (but didn't cos I'm a gentleman) … “Your arse fits in THOSE???”

    Anyway, if it were up to me, and I was in the fashion business, I would have you dressed in only the best see-through products!

    Panties? Who needs 'em?

  60. Carol Wyer
    February 15, 2011 | 12:11 pm

    I can't believe I've been reading your blog for ages and I'm not a follower! I went to sign in and found I didn't belong here so I've just rectified that situation and am now officially follower 9million (1154 actually but you have to jump over a lot of followers to leave a comment :) ).
    As for giveaways…maybe you could get 'Agent Provocateur' to sponosor you – great underwear!

  61. Stephanie Faris
    February 15, 2011 | 1:50 pm

    I think they'd find your droopy drawers photos cute! I'm just here to read blogs, so I've never really gotten into the giveaway thing, but I say go for it!

  62. Flying high in the sky....
    February 15, 2011 | 1:59 pm

    i am smiling :) … i don't think you need to tone down or change your language etc… you write crisp and witty stuff…they are not vulgar… be yourself and you will be loved no matter what…take care

  63. Elly Lou
    February 15, 2011 | 2:05 pm

    I think your focus is off. I bet you could find plenty of companies to sponsor your new vibrator, pookie.

  64. Cake Betch
    February 15, 2011 | 2:11 pm

    I want free clothes too! WTH. How do these people get free shit? Who do I have to beg to get some nice shoes or some Larabars?

  65. KittyCat
    February 15, 2011 | 2:58 pm

    PS Whats up with the boycott american women crap?

  66. pattypunker
    February 15, 2011 | 3:17 pm

    yay more droopy drawers!

  67. ryoko861
    February 15, 2011 | 3:53 pm

    You want to rule the world?

    Better get in line behind China and India and Japan.

    I'm SO glad you'd want to wear a cute outfit! I was looking at the shit the stars (or wanna be stars) were wearing to the Grammy Awards. What those people do to get attention no matter how awful the outfit is! I guess if you have that much money and a designer gives you ugly clothes but stars will wear anything that's free, you go for it.

    Don't go that route, ok?
    I think I just found a new rant!

  68. Aunt Juicebox
    February 15, 2011 | 4:53 pm

    Direction schmirection! Style is all that matters!

  69. Betty Manousos@ Cut and Dry
    February 15, 2011 | 5:23 pm

    I got the same boycott American women comment. What's going on?

    Don't change anything. You're absolutely awesome.

    B xx

  70. Booyah's Momma
    February 15, 2011 | 6:10 pm

    Your undies look to be in similar condition as mine. Let's just hope neither of us ever have to go to the emergency room wearing those, right?

    Maybe this blog post is just what you need. Doesn't Victoria's Secret do any sort of a sponsorship? :)

  71. Alice X
    February 15, 2011 | 7:57 pm

    I'd give you some new clothes just because you have the “balls factor” (it's like the X Factor but hardcore). Anybody who has the guts to display their vibrator or Bridget Jones bloomers has a thumbs up from me! :P

  72. Nari
    February 15, 2011 | 8:23 pm

    Shouldn't you already be getting sponsors? You have plenty of followers and more comments than most people. What else would you need to do?

  73. Aimee
    February 15, 2011 | 8:46 pm

    Good luck with that. I couldn't do it. I don't even want any ads on my blog. And I absolutely love saying the word fuck. And talking about my batshit crazy world. Plus, I just don't want ads on my blog. And I'd make a terrible clothes pimp, anyway. I'm only 4'6″, what am I gonna pimp, Baby Gap?

  74. WhisperingWriter
    February 15, 2011 | 8:53 pm

    I really have no direction in my blog either. I just post whatever happens and sometimes, it's completely random. I'm sure companies are all, “Um. We'll pass on this blogger…” Especially when my title is Airing My Dirty Laundry One Sock At A Time.

  75. Making It Work Mom
    February 16, 2011 | 12:02 am

    Yup you totally deserve Free Stuff. If I knew of any I would absolutely recommend you get it.
    Don't change, I am sure this is a perfect sponsorship marriage for you somewhere.

  76. koralee
    February 16, 2011 | 3:05 am

    You are so cute….believe it or not one of my earlier posts was of my new adorable panties..hanging in frames…ha ha..I need to dig that up..what was I thinking. But they were so adorable…and yes…I never thought of free stuff before. I would love some for myself.

    Thank you for visiting me the other day…your sweet comment made my day. xoxoxox

  77. Lori
    February 16, 2011 | 3:46 am

    So now I'm craving dill pickle popcorn…ugh!

  78. The Chicken's Consigliere
    February 16, 2011 | 4:05 am

    Oh come on. No one makes clothes for girls that like to swear? no one makes clothes for Lady Gaga? Someone out there needs a muse who swears, works out, and posts pictures of her underwear. They just haven't found you yet, but they will. Don't change a thing.

  79. The Kooky Queen--Rachel
    February 16, 2011 | 4:12 am

    Hahaha, man I love you! You have the greatest posts! My blog also has no direction. It started out as “just another mommy blog” and I got sooooooooo bored with that. And I could see everyone else did. The funky and random is what makes me tick. :)

  80. Danielle
    February 16, 2011 | 4:56 pm

    If I actually sold anything, I would totally have you pimp it for me. Specially panties or boobie things. Cause you know I love me some boobies.

  81. Omgirl
    February 16, 2011 | 6:59 pm

    Having a witty writing voice is SO much better than free clothes. Anyone can get free clothes (theoretically), but not everyone can write well. Don't change a thing!

  82. Shell
    February 16, 2011 | 9:53 pm

    Don't change. You CAN get sponsors if that is what you want to do.

    I admit, it's hard to find a balance…but I don't want to be a review and giveaway blog, I want to write. But, do you know what? It IS nice to actually get something for what you do. For me, I do my writing during the week and then if I am going to do any sort of PR work, I do it on the weekends.

    You have an amazing following and I'm surprised companies don't want to take advantage of that.

  83. dddiva
    February 16, 2011 | 11:54 pm

    Where have you been all my blogging life? You have a new stalker because I have a genius for a husband too and got- absolutely nothing as well. Wait I take that back, my daughter took me to lunch. Yeah, I'm special. *rolls eyes*

  84. Julie
    February 17, 2011 | 1:38 pm

    i think i would be sad to see you pimping out stuff. it would seem like the indie band that sells out and let's their song be used for a walmart commercial.

    just saying. :)

  85. Poke The Rock
    February 17, 2011 | 3:44 pm

    haha this is brilliant shit…ahem, maybe I shouldn't read it in work tho. When you try to suppress giggles it just makes it worse.

    I think they sooo should send you new panties and dresses and all that…just because!

  86. Semi-Slacker Mom
    February 17, 2011 | 5:33 pm

    You could do reviews for Eden Fastasys. I think you'd be perfect for them. email me & I'll give you the 411.

  87. qandlequeen
    February 17, 2011 | 9:45 pm

    Don't change your style, I love you just the way you are. But seriously, girl, chuck up the $9.99 for a new package of panties at Walmarts. You won't be picking your ass nearly as much (not that I stare at your ass or ever seen it for that matter, but I had droopy drawers for the longest time until I chucked up the $9.99 and damn, stopped touching my ass!)

  88. Suzie Que
    February 18, 2011 | 3:29 am

    Are you kidding?! You're my Blog Idol solely due to your content and language. Do NOT change anything…we like you. We really like you!

  89. My Big Secret Blog :)
    February 20, 2011 | 7:04 pm

    Sandra, you are just so out there, it's hilarious! Keep going, girl! You make me laugh!! :D :D

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