The hot arrow

I don’t usually post three days in row.

But Sunday I wrote about the sheep shearers wife who is fucking some guy she met on the Internet.
When a couple of people questioned whether I was “for real,” I wrote a post about how my sons want to open clothing stores aimed at targeting the prostitute demographic.

However, upon rereading this post, I felt like I’d come off as this whiny, complaining bitch; all “Waaaaah! I’ve been done a grave injustice so give me lots of sympathy!”

So now I’m posting yet again in order to wipe away the vision you may have of me being all pathetic and cranky.

 This is a song my seven year old and his friend wrote.

Here, let me help you.

The title:
The Hot Arrow

Lyrics:
Gril if you loved
me I wod shoot
an [picture of an arrow] in your
[picture of smiley face with arrow through smiley face] I wol love
u to I wol be
your noo man
b4
T5

Translation:
Girl if you loved me, I would shoot an arrow in your head
I would love you too
I would be your new man
{b4 T5….I have absolutely no idea what this means…perhaps code for “We will kill our parents while they sleep.}

I tried explaining to my son that if he shot an arrow in a girl’s head, she would probably want a new man.

My daughter suspects that the boys were referring to cupid with the whole “arrow” theme.

Honestly, at this stage of the game, I’m just worried that at the age of seven, they still can’t spell the word: ‘girl.’

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88 Responses to The hot arrow
  1. Coffeypot
    February 23, 2011 | 3:59 am

    Sounds like he has a career in the heavy metal genre.

  2. SherilinR
    February 23, 2011 | 4:05 am

    most kids spell girl wrong for longer than they should.
    but those are some rocking lyrics if you like angry love songs.

  3. Belle
    February 23, 2011 | 4:09 am

    This song sounds eerily familiar to me. I think I have heard my graddaughters play it, except the guy says he would put an arrow (or gun, I forget) in His own head, not hers.
    I could be wrong, but maybe they heard it somewhere. Do not despair!

  4. Vicky
    February 23, 2011 | 4:16 am

    Great lyrics!

  5. Stephanie
    February 23, 2011 | 4:17 am

    I hear Boyz to Men music playing in the background….

  6. Cheeseboy
    February 23, 2011 | 4:20 am

    Definitely the best lyrics I have ever read.

  7. Dani- danielleislosingit
    February 23, 2011 | 4:21 am

    Many boys cannot spell girl even in their mid to late twenties. Gurl, yo kids be fine.

  8. 7ladybugz
    February 23, 2011 | 4:21 am

    My ex spells like that daily LOL
    I love your blog and will be following it for sure as you sound just like me :)
    Thank you for the comments on my blog :)

  9. Valerie
    February 23, 2011 | 4:33 am

    You think Justin Bieber started out this way? PS – read your Chilean Monkey post to my friends at a bar the other night (it was either that or keep looking at pictures of a Pirate Party). Yes – you are now 'bar entertainment.' Thought you'd dig that.

  10. Yvonne
    February 23, 2011 | 4:43 am

    Hilarious! I think they're just trying to start a new fad by misspelling “girl”! Know what i mean, gril?

  11. Flying high in the sky....
    February 23, 2011 | 4:52 am

    haa…haa….haa…. i am laughing internally and smiling outwardly!!! loved it !! loved it!!

  12. Chanel
    February 23, 2011 | 4:53 am

    I was able to read it in the original form and understand it!

    A suggestion: perhaps the b4 T5 is a reference to how long he would love her…be forty five, maybe?

  13. The Restaurant Manager
    February 23, 2011 | 4:54 am

    Could be an instant hit! Maybe Bieber could sing it.

  14. tracy
    February 23, 2011 | 5:00 am

    He is going to be a millionaire. What talent!

  15. Sunny Dee
    February 23, 2011 | 5:06 am

    lol… Some of the most creative lyrics I've seen in a while! Perhaps the b4 T5 thing is the name of the band they have in mind for said lyrics?

  16. StephanieC
    February 23, 2011 | 5:15 am

    This has the markings of Colour Me Bad. Or Color Me Badd. Or whatever the hell they were called.

    Hey, at least they were showing some artistic creativity! Right? RIGHT?!?!

    Or looking to inflict head wounds on girls and murder parents.

    One or the other.

    Seriously?… Reeeally??… Seriously?

    _

  17. Lazarus
    February 23, 2011 | 5:19 am

    Jeffrey Dahmer wrote a very similar song as a child.

  18. FatAngryBlog
    February 23, 2011 | 5:20 am

    So FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!

    OMG!

  19. Making It Work Mom
    February 23, 2011 | 5:35 am

    b4 and T5 are obviously their street names. Though I did spit out my pretzel at your interpretation of that Lyric. I think someday they will make some gril very happy.

  20. The Girl Next Door
    February 23, 2011 | 5:47 am

    Ok I gotta say that that song was kinda cute.

  21. Rachel
    February 23, 2011 | 5:56 am

    Well, at least he's being creative. Lyrics and artwork! Maybe he's the next P Diddy.

  22. From Tracie
    February 23, 2011 | 6:00 am

    I would say it is double artistic.

    Song lyrics and art.

    Anything to keep them from shooting an arrow in your face.

  23. dbs
    February 23, 2011 | 6:15 am

    Better not read the book “We Need to Talk about Kevin.” Just sayin.

  24. Tammy
    February 23, 2011 | 7:11 am

    Gril, girl…same letters…just a little turned around! :)

  25. Nicky
    February 23, 2011 | 10:46 am

    I think the b4 T5 means “I will be your new man before Tuesday, the 5th.”

    But it could also mean he wants to kill you in your sleep.

    I'm sure that's not what it means though.

    You may want to lock your door at night just the same.

  26. Gigi
    February 23, 2011 | 10:46 am

    I can honestly say that no one has ever serenaded me with a song that involves shooting arrows at my head – but then what do I know about romance?

  27. Marty
    February 23, 2011 | 11:37 am

    I don't think it's THAT odd that they wanna shoot arrows through a loved one's head…I feel that way on a daily basis…just sayin.

  28. Texan Zombie Goddess
    February 23, 2011 | 11:42 am

    Heavy metal shit…that is hip hop. Future Beiber on your hands there!

  29. myevil3yearold
    February 23, 2011 | 12:04 pm

    b4 T5 is their gangsta names.

  30. Bouncin' Barb
    February 23, 2011 | 12:17 pm

    You cannot feel guilty about anything you write. If anyone gives you any crap you call me and I'll kick butt. Love you lady.

  31. laughingmom
    February 23, 2011 | 12:35 pm

    Be sure to save that page to be the album (I'm old, I mean CD) artwork when they become famous! Love your posts – they are hilarious – thanks for continuing to read mine!

  32. ryoko861
    February 23, 2011 | 12:41 pm

    That's a keeper! Hilarious! :-D

    I see a music career! Song writing for Beastie Boys or something. Green Day?

  33. The Minute Man's Wife
    February 23, 2011 | 1:19 pm

    I look to get a lock for your bedroom door immediately. LOL!

  34. Lola
    February 23, 2011 | 1:30 pm

    My kids can't spell for shit either. But my oldest plays a mean guitar. So far his songs have names like “Stinky Foot” and “Thick, Yellow Lugey”. Nothing quite as romantic as your kid who wants to shoot an arrow through his girlfriend's skull.

  35. Diane
    February 23, 2011 | 1:41 pm

    This sounds exactly like something my two would could up with. That arrow through the head part is stinkin' hilarious!

  36. Random Girl
    February 23, 2011 | 1:59 pm

    Sadly enough, the lyrics and the spelling are far above some the stuff that is playing on Pandora right now.. at this very moment. May I reference “Black and Yellow”? Wiz Khalifa could learn a thing from these kids. If what I just referenced is completely foreign to you, consider yourself lucky.

  37. Nicole
    February 23, 2011 | 2:34 pm

    hehehe… cute… and don't worry they can't spell girl right, it'll come :)

  38. KittyCat
    February 23, 2011 | 2:34 pm

    Hmmm thinking of girls at age 7, and arrows to the head. dbl hmmmmmm

    Either hes destined for a life of sadistic things or destined to be some womens bitch cause hes a sucker for love.

    Lets hope he its the love sick sucker.
    : )

  39. Raven
    February 23, 2011 | 2:46 pm

    Those lyrics are fantastic! Rock on!

  40. becca
    February 23, 2011 | 2:55 pm

    how cute future songwriter in the making

  41. Sparkling
    February 23, 2011 | 2:56 pm

    Yeah, I have students that at age 12 can't spell girl, so don't you be worried yet. But. ummm. Shooting the one you love right in the head? With an arrow? Maybe a cause for concern….. And b4 is clearly before but t5? t – 5 and counting? Until he shoots the arrow….? Your family never lets you just sit and think about nothing, do they????

  42. Rebecca
    February 23, 2011 | 3:55 pm

    I still can't spell. Thank Goodness for auto spell check!

  43. Helle Kristine Tumbridge
    February 23, 2011 | 3:59 pm

    They sound like boys after my own heart.

  44. Secret Mom Thoughts
    February 23, 2011 | 4:00 pm

    LOL.

  45. Brandy@YDK
    February 23, 2011 | 4:21 pm

    i see real talent there.

  46. Kimber Leszczuk.
    February 23, 2011 | 4:45 pm

    Love it!!

    Of course my daughter has been singing the vasectomy's are funny song for a while so I am used to odd lyrics …..

    LMAO

  47. MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings
    February 23, 2011 | 5:44 pm

    Awww, gee, this little song is adorable!

    Also, worrisome. I'd some serious time Googling that b4 T5 reference if I were you. You might have a couple of psychopaths on your hands.

    And now, I'm off to read the previous two posts. I might have ignored them, but you really piqued my interest.

  48. Miley
    February 23, 2011 | 6:26 pm

    my step-brother not only couldn't spell girl but he called them “grills” until he was like 15.
    I think your son is ahead of the game ;)

  49. 1 Funky Woman
    February 23, 2011 | 6:46 pm

    OMGosh I kid you not, I would be so focused on the spelling more then anything either. Ha, love it!

    I gave you an award today! Hop on over and check it out!

    Megan

  50. Carla
    February 23, 2011 | 7:19 pm

    I always know if I want to spit out whatever I just put in my mouth, and pee in my pants at the same time, all I have to do is visit your blog. You make me laugh more than anyone I have ever encountered. Please, don't ever quit. When your kids are grown, just keep on going with your grandkids.

  51. AndreaLeigh
    February 23, 2011 | 8:07 pm

    I sense a future Justin Bieber in the making!

  52. Nari
    February 23, 2011 | 8:16 pm

    That sounds kind of like an Eminem song. Maybe they could sell some of their hard core rap lyrics.

    AT least, it doesn't sound like a Bieber song.

  53. Big Fat Gini
    February 23, 2011 | 8:20 pm

    Call a producer. Like, now. Gril.

  54. Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com
    February 23, 2011 | 8:45 pm

    love the interpretation. Even more…love the creativity!

  55. PBJdreamer
    February 23, 2011 | 8:58 pm

    OMG I love your blog

    b4 T5….I have absolutely no idea what this means…perhaps code for “We will kill our parents while they sleep< ---

    that GOT me, cannot stop laughing

    that is all

  56. Alice X
    February 23, 2011 | 9:06 pm

    ahahaha your translation made me giggle.

  57. Myya
    February 23, 2011 | 9:44 pm

    That is hilarious! You know if they were girls, they would have probably came up with a dance routine to go along with it too. LOL

  58. Kelley
    February 23, 2011 | 10:49 pm

    Gril, are you sure they spelled gril wrong? Gril, I'm laughing at your post but keep getting distracted by the hairy lady area over there on the right. The hairy hoo. Ew.

  59. Two Normal Moms
    February 23, 2011 | 11:14 pm

    I definitely see a future in the music world. There are some strange lyrics out there, and these seem to make more sense than some… LOL

  60. ib
    February 23, 2011 | 11:57 pm

    Your son has that edgy, Jim Morrison meets Marilyn Manson meets Harry Connick Jr. thing going on.

    FYI, B4 T5 is short for Bee Four Tee Five

  61. Mamma has spoken
    February 24, 2011 | 12:17 am

    Yea, once set to music it won't matter what the words are, it will all sound the same. B4 T5 will come out before tits fly and all will be right in the world.

  62. Crystal
    February 24, 2011 | 1:55 am

    Yay…so glad I found you. Well, actually I found you because you first found me…but yay just the same. THis post cracks me up. BOys are their own species…I have 4 of them..crazy runs rampant at our house. This song is hilarious!!! Gotta love little boys!!

  63. Kat
    February 24, 2011 | 2:46 am

    Girl…John…Brian…Circus…so many pitfalls at that age…hahaha.

    I would definitely agree that shooting a girl in the head with an arrow is definitely a Chris Brown-type thing. Probably best to stay away from that variety of mayhem.

  64. Lin
    February 24, 2011 | 2:56 am

    Yeah, but that darn Bruno Mars song sings about taking a bullet right thru the brain….

    I think he gets it more than you know. Scary, eh?

  65. On My Soapbox
    February 24, 2011 | 2:59 am

    I dunno…. Most males like girls AND grils (grills). They're always hungry for something….

  66. Lightning Bug's Butt
    February 24, 2011 | 3:02 am

    You should look into producing that.

  67. Linda Medrano
    February 24, 2011 | 3:10 am

    Are you sure he's not romancing a “gril”? At 7, who knows what they love?

  68. Ameena
    February 24, 2011 | 3:20 am

    So basically what I'm understanding from this post is that my 5-year-old is going to go from singing “Like a G-6″ all wrong to writing her own lyrics all wrong in a year or two.

    I can't wait.

  69. Meri
    February 24, 2011 | 5:11 am

    Pretty catchy, actually! Some of the crap kids make up makes me laugh so hard. You know it makes sense to them as they are saying it/ writing it :)
    Meri
    merigoesround.blogspot.com

  70. Shell
    February 24, 2011 | 1:47 pm

    Hey, at least he's creative!

  71. SkippyMom
    February 24, 2011 | 5:29 pm

    He may have a future in Esperanto and/or hieroglyphics.

    Well done.

    [Have you discussed locations to hide the body after he shoots the arrow in her head? Just saying...]

  72. pattypunker
    February 24, 2011 | 6:23 pm

    that is some badass poetry. respect!

  73. The Vegetable Assassin
    February 24, 2011 | 7:40 pm

    It's my experience that little boys like grills as much as or more than girls. :) Gril(l)s equal FOOD. Right? :)

  74. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com
    February 24, 2011 | 8:38 pm

    I just hope that poor girl wears a helmet to school.
    xoRobyn

  75. Jenny Brown
    February 24, 2011 | 8:40 pm

    You're freakin' hilarious……I still don't know how you come up with this SH*T! You crack me up!

  76. TheBabyMammaChronicles
    February 24, 2011 | 9:28 pm

    BOAAAAAHAHAHA! Are you sure it's a song and not a rap? Haha, I thought 7 yr old boys still thought girls had cooties.

  77. Pearl
    February 25, 2011 | 12:10 am

    wow, that's an early sign of talent there:-) I love that you know how to interpret their thoughts.

  78. Pearl
    February 25, 2011 | 12:10 am

    wow, that's an early sign of talent there:-) I love that you know how to interpret their thoughts.

  79. cakeologist
    February 25, 2011 | 12:53 am

    Hey Sandra

    If you want cake you have to go to the cake blog – http://mycakeologyblog.com but thanks for visiting the Not Cake site!

  80. Hutch
    February 25, 2011 | 12:54 am

    I was thinking hot gril was actually hot grill. Stupid me thinking kids are still all innocent and crap.

  81. Marty
    February 25, 2011 | 12:57 am

    I'm gonna google that Sandra…Boob envy…now let me say, I love em', but if I HAD to be honest, they don't look like they used to…such is life I suppose.

  82. Poppy
    February 25, 2011 | 1:23 am

    Justin Beiber's Canadian too.

  83. caterpillar
    February 25, 2011 | 1:29 am

    OMG, i couldn't stop laughing for quite some time after I read thru the post…I agree….maybe he should reconsider the 'shooting arrow through head' thing….:)

  84. Geekin' Hard
    February 25, 2011 | 1:42 am

    Enjoyed a good laugh with this one. High-fives to the boys ;)

  85. Tracey Axnick
    February 25, 2011 | 2:31 am

    Sandra, I just sent you an email about migraines… sent to the EM address on your profile. Let me know if you have any questions…. hope the info helps!

    -Tracey

  86. Jill
    February 25, 2011 | 5:33 am

    Personally, I would leave the word shoot out of any love song. I save those kinds or words for my private thoughts ;)

  87. madotsuki
    March 1, 2011 | 2:15 pm

    B4 T5? You sunk my battleship!

  88. purplume
    March 6, 2011 | 5:30 pm

    Thank goodness for spell check.
    Creativity is high in this one.

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