I’m ok, you’re Waldo

My son, Wyatt, turned 15 years old on Monday.

I’m conflicted.
I’m torn between wanting him to be social, and to have a girlfriend, and to feel up her boobies in some dark, forbidden corner of the school.
But I’m also relieved that the kid lives for his meals and his computer, and is content to go see “Gulliver’s Travels” with me on a Saturday night.

So the other night, as I was standing next to his computer desk, I notice that his cell is receiving a text.
As all good mothers do, I reach for the phone.
He doesn’t even look up.
He’s acting all, “Go ahead, I’ve got nothing to hide.”
Which of course makes me even more eager to read the text because I know reverse psychology when it’s being used on me.

I say, “I’m going to read this, Wyatt…here I go…I’m clicking the ‘read text’ button…right now.”
“Who is it from?” he asks.
“Evelyn. A giiiiiirl!”
Still no reaction, and even though he’s focussing on his computer game, I can see him looking at me through the corner of his eyes.

So I click, and the text reads, “Wyatt, what do you think I should do with my bangs: pull them back with a barrett or wear them flippy to the side.”

I look at Wyatt. “What do you think: pulled back or flippy to the side?”
He responds, “Flippy to the side.”

So I text her back, “Flippy to the side.”

“Why would some girl named Evelyn ask you for your opinion on hairstyles?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is she your girlfriend?”
“Nope. I’m her bestie.”
“Her bestie?” I’m still staring at him.

“Wyatt, are you gay? ‘Cause if you are, I’m totally cool with that.”
“No Mom, I’m not gay.”
“Then why in the world would some girl ask some guy who has the fashion sense of Cat in the Hat how she should wear her hair?”

Cat in the Hat
My daughter who had heard the discussion said, “Cat in the Hat? More like Where’s Waldo!”

I just wish he’d get some tongue.
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96 Responses to I’m ok, you’re Waldo
  1. Yvonne
    February 25, 2011 | 6:16 am

    Wow, I got nothin. You stumped me. :)

  2. A Daft Scots Lass
    February 25, 2011 | 6:27 am

    Definitely Waldo unless he's super creative, in which case its Cat in the Hat.

  3. XLMIC
    February 25, 2011 | 6:53 am

    Are we thinking she wants to be more than 'besties'?

  4. Jessica
    February 25, 2011 | 7:09 am

    I agree with your daughter. More like Where's Waldo than Cat in the Hat.

  5. Misfits Vintage
    February 25, 2011 | 7:10 am

    I've got five bucks that says in six months he'll be changing his crusty sheets forty three times a day and you'll be getting calls from Evelyn's mother at 3am, wondering if you know where 'the kids' are.

    So long as you blog about it.

    Sarah xxx

  6. Jenner
    February 25, 2011 | 7:17 am

    This made me completely laugh my ass off. What a household you have!

  7. Joanne
    February 25, 2011 | 7:17 am

    Tell him You absolutely forbid him to hang with this girl.Tell him you can't stand her or anything about her. You don't want even the mention of her name……He'll be making out with her in no time. Blessings, Joanne

  8. Raven
    February 25, 2011 | 7:26 am

    If I touched my Midget's phone she'd cut my hand off without a second thought. lol

    Be careful what you wish for. I just found out my 15 year old daughter had sex w/her bf for the first time. Of course, when she told me about it she was all, “It's no big deal mom, it only lasted like 2 minutes.”

  9. DysFUNctional Mom
    February 25, 2011 | 7:58 am

    OMG, I LOVE the new design! For realz!
    My son acted all cool about girls for years and was 'friends' with all of them, but now he's had a girlfriend for over a year and I don't want to know what goes on behind closed doors. Also for realz!
    Your post had me LMAO.

  10. Amanda
    February 25, 2011 | 8:09 am

    So this is how I imagine my 9 year old Jayden to be in 6 years.

  11. Laoch of Chicago
    February 25, 2011 | 9:28 am

    It sounds like Wyatt has some game.

  12. Thisisme.
    February 25, 2011 | 10:11 am

    More Cat in the Hat I think! He must be a lovely lad that a girl would ask his advice about how to wear her hair!!! Be proud of him, mom!!

  13. The Chicken's Consigliere
    February 25, 2011 | 10:11 am

    TWLITB is almost 16 and same thing-his main squeezes are the fridge and the keyboard. He did show me his new facial hair the other day, though, so maybe there's a change a comin'

  14. Lemons Don't Make Lemonade
    February 25, 2011 | 10:28 am


    So I'm fifteen and I'm laughing out loud. And I wish I had a mom like you.

    I love the blog template, by the way.

  15. Symdaddy
    February 25, 2011 | 10:32 am

    Poor lad is prob'ly in a dilemma; computer or girls?

    When I was 13 I was always chasing girls only to be slapped down and humiliated … but I kept on trying!

    One day Sharon Gardiner ask me if I liked her new bra and promptly opened up her blouse to show me.

    I did! I liked it (them) a lot!

    She didn't pick the best time and place to ask me though and we both ended up with detention … in different parts of the school.

    One day Wyatt will say “Computer? What computer?” then you will know he's found some boobies that fit his hands.

  16. Julie
    February 25, 2011 | 10:42 am

    teenagers – so full of hormones and agnst, you wonder where they get the time for the girl/boyfriends!!
    I always tell my kids that girl/boyfriends will come and go, but a good friend is there for the long haul – doesn't matter boy or girl

  17. LilPixi
    February 25, 2011 | 11:02 am

    Hey, you never know. My bestie was feeling up my boobs at 15 & we're still in love. lol

  18. Bouncin' Barb
    February 25, 2011 | 11:26 am

    I was like you and couldn't wait for Mike to get a girlfriend. And then all hell broke loose and 3 years later with another girl he had 2 children. So if he's not ready for some tongue, don't push it for the love of all that's holy. He's adorable by the way! Love you woman!!!

    February 25, 2011 | 11:30 am

    Sandra, that cracked me up :)

    up until my son was about 18 he denied having a gf until he brought her home and introduced her, by then it was serious and she was still here in the morning.
    Don't be in a hurry ,I got attached as well so it broke my heart when she left to go back to her parents interstate as well as his heart.it was also very hard to watch my son battle with the devastation and broken heart.

    my comments are almost blogs….

  20. Misty
    February 25, 2011 | 11:35 am

    *Note to self* Do NOT drink your coffee while reading this blog!! *Hunting up paper towels*

  21. Yandie, Goddess of Pickles.
    February 25, 2011 | 12:07 pm

    It's entirely possible that he's using hair advice as a means towards boob-gropage, but she ain't having none of it.

    *sigh* that dreaded friend zone.

    I just want to add, I hate the term Bestie.. I've used it myself on a number of occasions and I always want to punch myself.

  22. Jewels
    February 25, 2011 | 12:27 pm

    Oh my goodness! hahah. “I just wish he'd get some tongue”

    In my experience any girl asking a guy for advice on what he thinks she looks better like (a guy who isn't gay that is)…usually likes the guy and wants to make sure she looks good for him. So, there's alway that posibility.

  23. myevil3yearold
    February 25, 2011 | 12:35 pm

    I hope you get a least one more summer where he is cool to just hang with you at the movies.

    p.s. He is probably already feeling her up.

  24. Just Plain Tired
    February 25, 2011 | 12:35 pm

    I think he'll go from hair advice to boobie gropage in no time.

  25. Deborah
    February 25, 2011 | 12:37 pm

    He's using reverse momology on you. He's getting tongue. I remember being 15.

    I vote for Waldo.

  26. Jeannie
    February 25, 2011 | 12:40 pm

    He's playing it close to the chest. His Mom has a blog after all. You probably won't find out whether he has a girlfriend until he's got a wife and 4 kids.

  27. Making It Work Mom
    February 25, 2011 | 1:15 pm

    Why is it that moms are always so conflicted? Please be normal Please be normal = sneak out and try to have sex with lots of girls.
    Please stay my baby Please stay my baby = never leave my side and live in my basement.
    You can't win.
    My daughter tries to play it all cool when I look at her phone, too. I told my husband that reverse psychology would bites us.

  28. -stephanie-
    February 25, 2011 | 1:23 pm

    I'm goin' with Waldo. Cat in the Hat is too chatty.

  29. Joe Nobody
    February 25, 2011 | 1:25 pm

    I have a 17 year old daughter. Being just friends with a guy must be the new thing for kids that age. My daughter has a guy “friend” who hangs out at the house all the time. They do everything together. He has had other girl friends and during this time he still hangs out with us most of the time. When they are together she lays in his lap, hugs and kisses just like they are dating. He texts her every morning to make sure she is up for school and everything else. Every girl he has dated hates my daughter. He has told his last few girl friends he is friends with her and if she does not like it then he will not date her. Very strange. They plan on attending college together in the fall. She says we are not dating just good friends. He got hurt during a football game and you have never seen somebody so upset. She paced back and forth in front of the locker room waiting to hear if he was ok or not.

  30. Heather
    February 25, 2011 | 1:28 pm

    He is adorable!!

    Can I have his number?

    I am really at a crossroads with my hair. Maybe he can help me out with my high lights dilemna!

  31. Sausage Fingers
    February 25, 2011 | 1:29 pm

    I feel your pain, I have a 13 year old son who has “Felt the boobies” Busted by his mother in the garage with said future prostitute. Of course old dad gave him the celebratory high-five after wifey had exited the premises.
    cheers and good luck cause girls are MUCH different than when we were that age.

  32. Diane
    February 25, 2011 | 1:50 pm

    Laughing.Out.Loud. Love it!

  33. Mom of the Perpetually Grounded
    February 25, 2011 | 2:01 pm

    Ha! By chance does he need another bestie? I have a 15 year old daughter who seriously needs hair advice. And she would love the hat….she's not the kind of girl who would look for Waldo in the dark corners ; )

  34. Lost.in.Idaho
    February 25, 2011 | 2:13 pm

    Speaking as a former boy myself, I used to bring home girls to mom when I was 'besties' with them. Mom wanted more to be their friend than their bf's mom, so I stopped bringing girls home. She asked me the same question you did, and it really offended me. I wanted to respond “no mom, I keep them away from you so they don't cheat on me with you, and stop paying attention to me” but that was my scenario, not yours.

    Right now, he's just trying to find a way to transition from “the friend zone” into more. I used to think that was possible. I started liking trolls, sailor moon, etc in HS, because girls I liked had those interests. It gave us something to talk about, right?

    He's just figuring out “his game.” Maybe have another guy talk to him? One he will confide in? If not, he will just fumble and stumble until he figures it out.

    Good luck. :D

  35. Mark
    February 25, 2011 | 2:17 pm

    I give fashion advice all of the time to women but that doesn't mean I'm, um, no, wait! Nope, that totally makes me gay.
    Your Friend, m.

  36. Kimberly
    February 25, 2011 | 2:28 pm

    You better watch what you wish for…he may come home with an MTV crew ready to shoot a season of Reenage moms ;)

  37. " Hit It......."
    February 25, 2011 | 2:33 pm

    This post made me laugh. I have a stepson that I wondered if he was gay. He was every girls best friend. He is a Marine now and I am waiting for him to come out of the closet!

  38. Sheila
    February 25, 2011 | 2:35 pm

    no no no!! LEave him alone!!!!! Trust me – my 16 year old son isn't even using the brain god gave him right now! His NOSE IS SOOO far up his girlfriends butt – he's failing school and even skipped the other day to go to “god knows what” with her! (i'm sure it wasn't to go watch cartoons!) I would LOVE for him to have his nose in the computer and NO GIRLS!!!

  39. CkretsGalore
    February 25, 2011 | 2:59 pm

    Oh gawd…do your children know where your blog is?!? Ahahah start a psychologist fund now.

  40. Random Girl
    February 25, 2011 | 3:04 pm

    Just wait, someday he will run across a girl who was like me when I was 15 and you will be wishing he would go back to his computer. Just sayin'. And from I hear, girls like me are now the rule, not the exception. He will be hardcore making out in no time! Good luck darling!

  41. Real cab driver
    February 25, 2011 | 3:17 pm

    Most of you ladies are excited about the young man discovering women. Sadly, a huge percentage of young loves destroy people's lives. Did anybody warn Wyatt about the girl out there who doesn't care who the father is, her career path is mommy, and she's been advised by her older cousin that she'll make more money out of it with child support and a boyfriend.

    You'd warn him about poison ivy, you taught him about matches, right?

    Explain to him that there are some real losers out there, so he doesn't sit there 5 years from now and ask you why you didn't warn him.

    In the mean time, perhaps he's been warned, you don't know about it, and he's a smarter kid than you could possibly imagine. Hopefully……..

  42. Amy
    February 25, 2011 | 3:35 pm

    This made me giggle. My mother – when I was that age – would have been mortified to hear you say such things! And I think that made it that much funnier.

  43. Kristina P.
    February 25, 2011 | 3:48 pm

    Is besties worse than BFF?

  44. EmptyNester
    February 25, 2011 | 3:57 pm

    Pretty sure that question was more than just a question about her bangs. eh? LOL

  45. Marty
    February 25, 2011 | 4:16 pm

    Too funny…Girl I am not lookin' forward to the ten years with my daughter….we already got one teen raised & outta the house…she didn't get preggers on my watch, that's all I gotta say…ya I feel accomplished.

  46. Not the Hero
    February 25, 2011 | 4:26 pm

    I used to be just like him. Then I managed to convince the girl that would ask me for fashion advice that we should date. That was the beginning of the corruption of the hero. I was 17 when that happened.

    Some guys are late bloomers, especially the nice guys.

    Ps. Oh and tell him not to use the word bestie… or he'll end up gay. I'm pretty sure that practice makes perfect and he's well on his way.

  47. Red Shoes
    February 25, 2011 | 4:41 pm


    Trust me, be glad that at 15, his interests still fall where they do. Our children grow up WAY too fast these days!!! I wish my kids had remained innocent longer.

    He sounds like a neat young man.. and he DOES look like the Cat In The Hat and Waldo!!!


  48. Ninja Mike
    February 25, 2011 | 4:46 pm

    You may possibly be one of the best mother's I've ever heard of. Lol, good stuff.

  49. The mad woman behind the blog
    February 25, 2011 | 4:52 pm

    OMG, you are like my Mom Hero! I am crossing my fingers I'm as cool as you when my boy gets to be this age.

  50. randine
    February 25, 2011 | 5:26 pm

    Your son sounds like my son.

    His social life consists of hanging out with me, and that, let me tell you, is a sad state of affairs. And he gets zillions of texts- all from girls, who claims to be “just really good friends” with.
    I read them at random, like any parent would, right? –and ask him- hopefully, almost- “She's asking you if you like pudding? What's that code for– sex, drugs?”
    “No,” he says. “She's asking me, literally, if I like pudding.”
    He's either lying to me, or his friends are really wierd. I'm not sure what to hope for here.

  51. like.thunder
    February 25, 2011 | 5:56 pm

    You're hilarious!

  52. Kim
    February 25, 2011 | 6:07 pm

    OK, why is a 15 year old girl reading this blog?? Gah, I died. You know me, I freak out when my kids know the words to 'Teenage Dream' so seeing that comment was all kinds of inappropriate in my world ;) Which means I was *totally* derailed on your post and what I wanted to say. Nice,no?

  53. Sparkling
    February 25, 2011 | 6:23 pm

    Why do I think it's so funny that you texted her back, with his words? What a world we live in. THis would NEVER NEVER NEVER have happened with my parents. EVER.

  54. anSeL
    February 25, 2011 | 6:34 pm

    teenage boys now=computer, games that's it. girls?never mind…

  55. Rebecca
    February 25, 2011 | 7:00 pm

    I just tagged you in a book meme

  56. Mrs. Tuna
    February 25, 2011 | 7:23 pm

    So…….they start out as besties, but next year it will be full blown hormones. Start slipping that condom in his wallet now. If it was a daughter I'd tell you to put birth control pills in her Cheerios.

  57. 2busy
    February 25, 2011 | 7:54 pm

    Bestie girly wants to be more

  58. Nari
    February 25, 2011 | 7:59 pm

    I asked my 18 yr old daughter about this and she said that girls ask boys for their style opinions when they want to look good for that boy. The girl will refer to him as a bestie because boys are dumb and the girl can manipulate him into liking her at her own leisure that way.

    This comes from a master at the manipulation of the male species. For you, I went to the expert on this even if it does darken my soul a little to speak with her about things like this.

  59. Stephanie
    February 25, 2011 | 8:20 pm

    First hair flips and barrettes and next comes tongue. Don't worry…maybe he's just searching for your approval.

  60. Marissa
    February 25, 2011 | 8:52 pm

    He has female Besties because he plays it cool, which makes girls want his attention more. He knows what he's doing.

  61. Deborah
    February 25, 2011 | 8:56 pm

    Ahahaha!!! Hysterical…loved the “besties” I've heard my daughter say that…you are too funny!!

  62. ModernMom
    February 25, 2011 | 11:04 pm

    When I was 15 my bestie was a boy too. I thought of him as a brother…he had a wicked crush on me and I just didn't see it. Love him to death to this day. He stood up at my wedding.
    I'm betting your boy is crushing on her..she just hasn't figured it out yet.

  63. The Adorkable Ditz
    February 25, 2011 | 11:41 pm

    …Wow never expected him to have a bestie…First for everything I guess.

    The Adorkable Ditz' Missteps

  64. Monkey Man
    February 25, 2011 | 11:41 pm

    I don't think Waldo or CitH ever got laid. CinT maybe. Just leave him alone. What ever you push is what he will remove himself from. You were lucky he didn't tell you to fu** off.

  65. Ginger
    February 25, 2011 | 11:53 pm

    lol. Get off Wyatt's case Mom!! If a girl is asking him about hairstyles, she probably think he has great taste which is not a pre-requisite of gay men :)

  66. Sarahf
    February 26, 2011 | 12:16 am

    Maybe “bestie” is the new way to say “friends with benefits”. Is that better, or worse?

  67. On My Soapbox
    February 26, 2011 | 12:52 am

    I wouldn't worry. He'll get tongue soon enough. He'll be giving it, too….

  68. caterpillar
    February 26, 2011 | 12:54 am

    I am curious now…why would Evelyn ask HIM for opinion on her bangs…

  69. Rhapsody B.
    February 26, 2011 | 2:21 am

    Becareful what you ask for…. you just might get it.

    Enjoy him as is because the time will come when the most you will see of him is the back of his head going out the door.

    Have a great weekend.
    Stop by my place some time, relax and read then let me know what you think.

    from a fellow Cdn'n…

  70. Lin
    February 26, 2011 | 3:21 am

    Waldo. I'm thinking he gets more action than some cat. And girls like the “besties” most of all. He's just playing it cool in front of you.

  71. Busy Bee Suz
    February 26, 2011 | 3:26 am

    I think I love Wyatt. He will get plenty of tongue…that boy is a genius. “besties”….LOL!!!

  72. Lazarus
    February 26, 2011 | 3:56 am

    Wyatt has a tough road to hoe, trying to be as cool as his mom is a challenge that most 15-year old boys don't face… I think he's getting some on the side nonetheless. No doubt, he has another cell phone and you only answered his parental decoy…

  73. 7ladybugz
    February 26, 2011 | 4:07 am

    You wish for him to get some tongue now but soon you will be wishing he had kept his tongue in his face and his clothes on LOL

  74. Bdubs
    February 26, 2011 | 4:07 am

    heheeheheh, feel up her boobies. You crack me up! Be careful what you wish for. He may just become a crazy Casanova soon!

  75. Elaine A.
    February 26, 2011 | 4:12 am

    It's starts with them being “besties” then moves on from there, no? I think he's got the right approach. I'm sure they'll be plenty of tongue soon Mom! ;-P

  76. Kelley
    February 26, 2011 | 5:31 am

    Your pictures made me laugh! Girl, don't rush your precious boy! He'll get tongue when he's good and ready. :)

  77. granny1947
    February 26, 2011 | 7:04 am

    Hehehe…loved this post.
    Be careful what you wish for girl.
    A lot less stress while he is sitting at his computer.

  78. Desperate Housemommy
    February 26, 2011 | 7:15 am

    I like Wyatt's taste in coiffs. Flippy to the side totally trumps back with a barrette.

    I also like Wyatt's name.

    Thanks for stopping by today, Sandra!

  79. The Watchman
    February 26, 2011 | 9:49 am

    Now normally I would have some goofy comment about boys being boys at this moment in time! But I have to say…I am a bit confused here!

    Mostly about his lack of reaction to his mother going through his stuff. My mom and I were always cool with each other, now and when I was a teen, but there were just some things that were private to me and me alone!

    Hmmm! Maybe he is using some sort of Jedi mind trick on you, so what you saw was hair advice when really it was something else entirely! I'm just fishing in the dark here in case you can't tell!

  80. ryoko861
    February 26, 2011 | 2:15 pm

    Did you ever notice the Cat in the Hat and Waldo both wear red and white striped things?

    Why is that?

    My son is the same way. Don't ask about girls. At least he let you look at his phone. Mine gets all butt hurt and offended. “MOM, that's MY phone! I don't go touching YOUR phone!!”

    Oooook…..have a good one son.

    He can move out now.

  81. Lola
    February 26, 2011 | 3:55 pm

    My oldest is turning 12 and I am just as conflicted as you are. One moment he's happily watching Spongebob or playing with army men and the next? The door bell rings and a gaggle of 6th grade girls are asking for Jack. In the blink of an eye he gets this swagger and his voice drops so that he sounds like Barry White. What's a mother to do? I mean AFTER I chase the girls off my porch with a pitchfork. THEN, what's a mother to do?

  82. gayle
    February 26, 2011 | 8:32 pm

    Give him time momma! Boys don't mature as fast as girls do.

    Just because you/me were madly in love at 15…….most boys that age are not.

    And……..when he is ….you are going to wish he wasn't :) ))))

  83. Dani- danielleislosingit
    February 26, 2011 | 11:32 pm

    This girl is smart. She is asking a straight guy how to do her hair, so she will know how she looks hottest to guys, since thats who shes trying to look hot for anyways. Looking hot for other girls and gay guys defeats the purpose of looking hot altogether.

  84. SkippyMom
    February 27, 2011 | 12:25 am

    The title cracks me up.

    And yes. Waldo rules. At this rate [with hat] he is going to be home until he is 25.

  85. The Minute Man's Wife
    February 27, 2011 | 2:34 am

    Defintely Cat in the Hat. And I would count your blessings. At least you won't have to worry about becoming a grammy at a premature age.

  86. Ameena
    February 27, 2011 | 3:05 am

    I agree with a previous poster that boys are just…slow. They don't get things the way girls do!

    And he is a total dead ringer for Waldo. Crazy!

  87. Meri
    February 27, 2011 | 3:57 am

    Can I please text him to ask opinions about my hair? I'm always asking my boyfriend and he just tells me it “always looks good.” um, no give me an ANSWER DAMMIT!

  88. Kato
    February 27, 2011 | 7:31 am

    BAHAHA!! I woke up my neighbours laughing about this one!!

  89. My Big Secret Blog :)
    February 27, 2011 | 6:12 pm

    She likes him. She SO likes him!

  90. PBJdreamer
    February 27, 2011 | 8:10 pm

    your kids are a hoot!

    Tell Waldo that besties are only good for fixing you up with their friends


    that is all

  91. Linda Medrano
    February 27, 2011 | 8:11 pm

    The girl has the hots for your son. I always ask dudes I have the hots for, “how should I wear my hair?”. It's a signal.

  92. Two Normal Moms
    February 27, 2011 | 8:18 pm

    As the mother of a 16 y/o boy, this is one of the funniest posts I've read all week. Oh how I feel ya on this one!

  93. Jill
    February 28, 2011 | 3:35 am

    OMG HILARIOUS!!! He really does look like a cross between the two. Bestie? LOL. She totally has a crush on him. Congrats mama! Buying your son condoms will commence in the next 6-12 months baby!

  94. Emily
    February 28, 2011 | 4:47 am

    Yup, she has ulterior motives! No girl asks a guy what he wants her to do with her hair unless she wants it to look good for him.
    Good luck, your boys got game.

  95. Tracey Axnick
    March 6, 2011 | 2:36 am

    Sounds exactly like my boy, who will be 15 next month. I think this is how they “ease” into the whole “girlfriend/relationship” thing, so I'm not pushing it. At least he TALKS to me still, unlike his 13 year old sister, who is the most secretive creature on the planet.

    Ah, the perils of raising teenagers…

  96. purplume
    March 6, 2011 | 5:28 pm

    I love that pose of him at the computer. It's the only way I see my husband. computer or gaming.
    For the pose he's more cat for the size and shape of hat he's more waldo. Clever — you and your daughter. I love hearing your irreverent take on life.

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