Yes, it’s confidential!


Today I was having lunch with my girlfriends.
We were talking about sex having “girl-talk” when my one friend says, “This stays between us! I better not see this in your blog.”

Ok.
See, I hadn’t even thougth about blogging about my friends’ private lives, but now that she mentioned it, I’m all, “Ooooh, this would be good!”

However, she’s not the first to say this to me.
At Christmas, my best friend and her family came to stay with me for the holidays.
During one of our phone conversations before she arrived, she said to me, “You better not be planning to blog about us while we’re there.”

Well…
I hadn’t planned on it.
But then she goes and tells me that, and the entire time she’s with me, I’m thinking, “Ooooh, this would be good!”

It would seem that even if I wanted to change the name of my blog to something like, “All About Everybody Else” in lieu of the narcissistic theme, I really couldn’t.
Because now, when people see me coming, I’m practically made to sign a confidentiality agreement.

Well, alright chickens!
I won’t write about you.
I’ll continue to tell of the trials and tribulations of my family and myself.
Me me me me.

This is really going to kill me, always having to write about myself…sigh…but for you, I’ll submit myself to the effort this will require of me.

Thank goodness my family doesn’t mind when I blog about them so what if they aren’t always fully informed.
As a matter of fact, some members seek the attention.
They positively THRIVE on it.

Like my husband for instance.

Yesterday I caught him doing this:

 ”What are you doing,” I asked.

“I’ve got something up my arse,” he said.

“You do realize I’m going to post this picture on my blog and quote you verbatim?”
“Verbatim? I don’t even know what that means,” he replied, and continued to pick away at his ass.

In case you’re wondering what he dug up, it was the tag from his new pants.

Posted by Picasa

Well what did you think he was going to pull out?
We do have some class, you know.

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101 Responses to Yes, it’s confidential!
  1. Kristina P.
    January 12, 2011 | 4:26 am

    You guys are the epitome of class.

  2. Heather
    January 12, 2011 | 4:30 am

    My husband BEGS to be the subject of my blog. (But then vetos any of the true stuff I write about him and refuses to let me use his real name!)

    (You can totally blog about this if you want to.)

  3. Daffy
    January 12, 2011 | 4:38 am

    See I have the opposite problem. I've made the mistake of allowing a few people in my life to know about my blog (because I don't blog under my real name) and I'm constantly hit with “You should really blog about this….” or “this would totally be funny to put on your blog” and really I'm like “Uh…nope. Not really, but thanks for the input” As if I didn't already have enough trouble with my blog taking a crapshoot lately. LMAO I don't need any help. Its like staging the whole Candid Camera or PUNK'D stuff. Just is NOT the same.

  4. Kara Hoag
    January 12, 2011 | 4:44 am

    Except for a few, my friends just feign interest and don't really comment on my blogging world unless I'm the one to talk about it. Well, except for my roommate. And she pitches in to the stories through the comments.

    visions unto myself

  5. Jess
    January 12, 2011 | 4:46 am

    My hubby supplies half of the material for my blog. Without him I don't know what I would write about!
    Jess

  6. Brenda Susan
    January 12, 2011 | 4:47 am

    Cute post! Cute Hubs too.
    People in my life do not have access to this blog. I have another one that they know about and I don't talk about them in it much. But that's why I keep this one secret, so I can say and show what i want without embarrassment either way!

  7. SkippyMom
    January 12, 2011 | 4:54 am

    I don't know what verbatum is either [evidently neither does spellcheck] but I do know what verbatim is.

    ::spelling nazi running away now::

    Stop throwing sh*t at me.

  8. Rach
    January 12, 2011 | 4:55 am

    My friends have never showed remotely any interest in my blog. Therefore, I blog about them. Of course I don't use their real names, and I never write about them in a mean spirit. I just mostly talk about the douchebags they date, because some of the stories are pretty entertaining.

  9. ModernMom
    January 12, 2011 | 5:05 am

    Hee hee See that is why I keep mine annon!

  10. StephanieC
    January 12, 2011 | 5:10 am

    Too funny! I just posted about something getting stuck in my own butt!!

    http://seriouslyreallyseriously.blogspot.com/2011/01/f-cked-up-letters.html

    I feel so restrained not being able to fully blog about the BF!

  11. Jill
    January 12, 2011 | 5:12 am

    He he! Why bother blogging about friends? This blog is called Absolutely Narcissism. I come to read about you my friend!

  12. Coffeypot
    January 12, 2011 | 5:13 am

    I bog about anything, anytime, anywhere. Of course I don't have any friends anymore. But I do have people call me and tell me shit that their enemy has done in hopes that I would blog about it and use their real name. And the blackmail money is pretty good, too.

  13. The Chicken's Consigliere
    January 12, 2011 | 5:32 am

    wow. Psychadelic lollipop mosaic background you've got going on here. I almost couldn't concentrate on what you were saying…I was all like, oooh lollipops everywhere…then I came to the picture of your husband's butt and I was all like, oooh cute butt there. Ah. Did I go to far?

  14. Mynx
    January 12, 2011 | 6:01 am

    My friends and family dont know I blog. Hehe, that way they cant complain about what they dont know :)

  15. Saimi
    January 12, 2011 | 6:04 am

    Your husband has Redneck written all over him!! HA!!

  16. Poppy
    January 12, 2011 | 6:06 am

    I find the pressure the other way more annoying. When someone wants to hang out with you so you'll blog about them. Um, ya you're really not that interesting, but I'll let you buy me lunch.

  17. Poppy
    January 12, 2011 | 6:06 am

    I find the pressure the other way more annoying. When someone wants to hang out with you so you'll blog about them. Um, ya you're really not that interesting, but I'll let you buy me lunch.

  18. Imaginative Me
    January 12, 2011 | 6:08 am

    hahahaha, there are many things a guy can pull out of his ass! LOL! J/K
    And I don't usually get permission to post about people who are around me, they have to know with how open I am, especially my bestie, that they are gonna make it in a story!

  19. Felicia
    January 12, 2011 | 6:38 am

    There are times that I wish my friends and mainly family didn't know about my blog. I am almost sure that they don't read but the one I post something I just know that they are going to read it that day.

    And at least he had pants on when digging in his arse (by the way I am so happy to find another person who uses that word!!!) my sweet dear husband does that with no pants on. The things we put up with in the name of love.

  20. Joanna Jenkins
    January 12, 2011 | 6:49 am

    My RL friends don't read my blog but my family does so I EDIT MYSELF A LOT other wise there'd be hell to pay :-)
    jj

  21. The Adorkable Ditz
    January 12, 2011 | 6:49 am

    Those darned tags get me every time. That's why on most of my clothes they're ripped off.

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com

  22. Polly
    January 12, 2011 | 8:41 am

    Im another who hasn't told a soul…that way I can bitch moan and groan about whoever I like!

  23. Vodka Logic
    January 12, 2011 | 8:58 am

    Aw come on I want to know what the girl talk was about…

  24. becca
    January 12, 2011 | 11:16 am

    haha you got to love the hubby i mean seriously the matrail he roves is priceless

  25. Charlene
    January 12, 2011 | 11:30 am

    I hate tags. I usually cut them out of any new clothing. All tag info should be printed on the inside of the garmet like the “no tag” t-shirts!

    He must be a laid back guy to not be u pset about your posting his picking at his behind! Well either that or an exhibitonist?

  26. Gigi
    January 12, 2011 | 11:52 am

    This is why my blog remains anonymous – so I can tell you about my friends!

    Loved the bit about hubby! Let's just keep him in the dark about the definition of “verbatim!”

  27. myevil3yearold
    January 12, 2011 | 12:00 pm

    Next time someone says….”don't put this in your blog” just pat their hand and say, “Oh don't worry, no one would found you/this/it interesting anyway.”

  28. Jewels
    January 12, 2011 | 12:18 pm

    Hahaha. That is great. I haven't told a lot of my friends about my blog so they aren't concerned with being the subject of any of my blogs. I am the only one of my sisters with any interest in reading-sad I know-so I'm in no danger that they'd want to read my rants every day. Phew…I'm still safe talking about them all. haha.

  29. Jana@AnAttitudeAdjustment.com
    January 12, 2011 | 12:23 pm

    I've had the same thing happen–neighbors look at me warily after they say something and ask about the blog. It's funny, I'm always like, “Ooh! An idea! I've been commissioned!”

    But I don't write about them.

    It's kind of like being a comedienne, huh?

  30. Just Plain Tired
    January 12, 2011 | 1:03 pm

    I'll mention family occasionally in my blog, but try to keep it to a minimum and not reveal too much personal info about them, or me for that matter.

  31. Jojo
    January 12, 2011 | 1:06 pm

    At least a tag in your pants is much better than “pants on the ground!” Not sure that my family or our conversations are quite as lively as your family (or I've gotten so numb to their conversations and I ignore much of what they say)!

  32. Mamma has spoken
    January 12, 2011 | 1:47 pm

    Think of it this wasy Sandra, you don't need to blog about your friends because there is enough happening at home that you don't need friends.
    That sounded bad but hopefully you get what I'm saying…

  33. Mrs. Tuna
    January 12, 2011 | 1:51 pm

    Yeah, at first they were all giddy to make it to the blog, now they think they should have pre approval. Like that's every going to happen.

  34. Carla
    January 12, 2011 | 2:06 pm

    My family and friends were forewarned. It's my blog. I'll say whatever I like. So I write about everyone and name names most of the time. I will not, however, reveal anything private, personal or embarrassing about anyone unless they've already outted themselves or given permission or it is already public in some way.

  35. ms. caboo
    January 12, 2011 | 2:22 pm

    I have to make sure I don't put everything Bud says on my blog, or my head would roll! But sometimes, I have to write about some of the funny shit that happens.

  36. Snuggle Wasteland
    January 12, 2011 | 2:26 pm

    That's why I ditched my old blog and started over. My blog is a big secret and I can say whatever I want about whoever I want. *cue evil laughter*

  37. anSeL
    January 12, 2011 | 2:26 pm

    hahaha!
    you and your hubby are right for each other.

  38. Tylaine
    January 12, 2011 | 2:43 pm

    LOL I just love your blog Sandra! You're so hillarious. Sounds like it's pretty notorious too!! You have an awesome family!

  39. JPO
    January 12, 2011 | 2:47 pm

    Haha. My brother is a minister and he is ALWAYS telling me “Don't you DARE blog about me!”

    Privacy is SO over-rated :)

  40. Brandy Rose
    January 12, 2011 | 2:57 pm

    He likes being on your blog, he just doesn't like to admit it.

  41. Snake
    January 12, 2011 | 2:57 pm

    Could be you need another blog, this one more anonymous . . . And called Things I Should Keep in the Vault . . . But Won't! You could let it lose, with no repercussions . . . And quote them verbatim . . . lol Ciao baby!

  42. MamaKK922
    January 12, 2011 | 3:13 pm

    I'm not big enough for anyone to care if I blog about them yet. Maybe someday. And I will sign NO agreements!! I won't have friends either. No one will be safe bwahahaha and my kids will hate me some day. I do protect their identities. My husband just says don't talk about our sex life oops I think I kinda sorta in a round about way did that one. Well what he doesn't know.

  43. Bouncin' Barb
    January 12, 2011 | 3:15 pm

    What could these people possibly be afraid of? It's not like we'd know who they are or anything. hehe.

    Hey I have you an award at my blog.

    http://bouncinbarbs.blogspot.com

  44. Rebecca
    January 12, 2011 | 3:26 pm

    Maybe you can start an anonymous blog and you can change the names of everyone and tell the confidential stories!

    You can always leave a link that says something to the effect of “My friends new blog”

  45. RottenMom
    January 12, 2011 | 3:38 pm

    Your husband is a good sport! I wrote a post about my husbands ass crack the other day. I thought it was hysterical, he thought not so funny and asked me not to embarrass him. So I won't. For now anyway.

  46. Donna @ The House on the Corner
    January 12, 2011 | 3:39 pm

    Honeybunny is convinced that every picture I post of him is stealing a piece of his soul…..

  47. mintifresh
    January 12, 2011 | 3:49 pm

    yeah, him digging around in his pants could've been much worse! Phew!

  48. ae
    January 12, 2011 | 4:56 pm

    Thankfully, I do not have this problem. Most of my IRL people do not even know about my blog and I refuse to tell the ones who do know how to find it. So, I can pretty much write about whomever I choose…not that I do but I have that option!

  49. RavNsLove
    January 12, 2011 | 5:08 pm

    Well, if you insist on making it all about you…I guess I will force myself to keep reading. Under duress maybe…but I will persevere.

    I love that your hubby lets you post pics of him digging in his ass. Ya'll are the epitome of class!

  50. Juniper
    January 12, 2011 | 5:15 pm

    Ha, well that's one of the reasons not many of my friends know I write a blog ;-) but then they rarely do anything worth blogging about either *sigh*.

  51. Diane
    January 12, 2011 | 5:22 pm

    I have wished MANY times that I had started my blog anonymously for this very reason!

  52. Diane
    January 12, 2011 | 5:22 pm

    I have wished MANY times that I had started my blog anonymously for this very reason!

  53. meleah rebeccah
    January 12, 2011 | 5:23 pm

    People are always worried I am going to write about them on my blog too. Specifically my father. But, it's his own fault really – I mean if he wasn't so damn entertaining I wouldn't have any material!

    Your husband is all class picking his ass for the camera!

  54. Portia
    January 12, 2011 | 5:46 pm

    My kids are adults so I ask them if they mind. My blog does not have my real name and I don't use their names so what the heck. Usually they say OK. My daughter did tell me no vag pictures of the birth, though. Spoilsport.

    Seriously, this is the word verification word: allibi

  55. HisBell
    January 12, 2011 | 6:02 pm

    Oh your poor husband! LOve it!

  56. blueviolet
    January 12, 2011 | 6:03 pm

    Every time I pull out a camera, people say “Is this for the blog?”

    Sheesh.

  57. Monkey Man
    January 12, 2011 | 6:22 pm

    If I were your friends, I wouldn't worry about you using your conversations in your blog. After all, it ends up being about YOU anyway so let fly. I mean, really, you can't even leave a comment on someone else's blog without making it about you. Jeez.

    As to ass mining…his hands were clearly too high to be digging for anything worth washing off.

  58. Fizzgig
    January 12, 2011 | 6:30 pm

    the men in our lives are too easy of targets. they ask for it….lol

    using people as subjects is uno #1 reason i dont tell people about my blog. then they cant get mad!

  59. ryoko861
    January 12, 2011 | 6:53 pm

    I blog about my friends sometimes. They don't read my blog so who cares.

    Hey, at least he removed the stupid tag before going anywhere. My husband is good for leaving with the size tag still stuck to the leg. 34×32 going up the back of the leg. Nice going dear….

  60. Don
    January 12, 2011 | 7:13 pm

    Hahahahaha! Wayne is awesome! But he REALLY has to do something about that hat. What's your address? I'll send him a new one from a real hockey team… ;)

  61. Jennie @ Modern Mamaz
    January 12, 2011 | 7:58 pm

    That sounds like a conversation between my husband and I. Well, almost – the only difference is, we don't have class. Eh, oh well.

  62. My Big Secret Blog :)
    January 12, 2011 | 8:23 pm

    I'd be scared too, if I were one of your friends!

  63. Linda Medrano
    January 12, 2011 | 9:06 pm

    You are in a class of your own, Sandra! I love your family!

  64. Blasé
    January 12, 2011 | 9:46 pm

    Clothes Tags should be outlawed…

    Go to my Blog, I've got something for YOU.

  65. Ann
    January 12, 2011 | 10:30 pm

    If someone doesn't want you to blog about something they should not put the idea in your head. I think they secretly wanted you to write about it, why else would they have mentioned it.
    Whenever I mention my blog to anyone they just sort of roll their eyes and change the subject.

  66. Lightning Bug's Butt
    January 12, 2011 | 11:05 pm

    Tags are a drag. Totally get that MANeuver.

  67. Sparkling
    January 13, 2011 | 12:04 am

    K-ster is beginning to worry about will be blogged about. He is certain I am somehow going to get into trouble with this blog. There will be no good coming from this, he believes.

  68. gayle
    January 13, 2011 | 1:37 am

    So glad that was a tag he pulled out! So what did your girl friend tell you???

  69. Julianna
    January 13, 2011 | 1:54 am

    Oh No! My disclaimer is right under the Misguided Mission tab at the top of the Blog..

    “Careful, or you'll end up in my blog”

    (I want the T-shirt for Mother's day.)

  70. MommaKiss
    January 13, 2011 | 2:32 am

    best thing about my blog – people close to me – in real life and shit – don't know i blog. so i get to post stuff w/out them knowing.

    arse.

    love.

  71. Not So Simply Single
    January 13, 2011 | 2:34 am

    Spit out Coffee onto my computer. Thanks for the visual!

    Lisa

  72. On My Soapbox
    January 13, 2011 | 2:47 am

    This is a perfect example of why I will not tell any of my friends or family about my blog. I want to blog about them freely! Muahaha!!

  73. Nicky
    January 13, 2011 | 3:00 am

    Talk about class! I think your husband and mine may have gone to the same school :-)

    Also, I am so impressed with your selflessness and loyalty in regards to posting about yourself and not your friends. Do they appreciate how awesome you are? LOL

  74. Alex
    January 13, 2011 | 3:16 am

    I can always count on your posts to make me laugh. You don't need your friends when you have a family like yours :)

  75. amyblam.com
    January 13, 2011 | 3:50 am

    My hubs says I misquote him all of the time. Other than that, he doesn't so much care that I write about him.

  76. Copyboy
    January 13, 2011 | 5:03 am

    I wish my family was as blogloving as yours. ooo la la la.

  77. Sarahf
    January 13, 2011 | 5:16 am

    I just don't tell the Roomies they feature in my blog. It's my way of checking who reads it!

  78. Stef
    January 13, 2011 | 6:55 am

    Hahaha. Okay, so my family doesn't even read my blog and they tell me not to blog about things. That is jsut wrong. If you aren't going to read my blog, then you can't tell me what to blog about. If you do read it, then I will show you some respect. I will at least change your name…heehee.

  79. Holly
    January 13, 2011 | 11:19 am

    Mine only attack me when they piss me off and I vent… AMAZING… It's quite the rare event… but when I do… BAM!! OUT fly the attacking a
    nonymous comments that sound JUST LIKE adult children trying to defend themselves for being jerks… Yeah… ANONYMOUS is no longer allowed to comment on my blog! HAH!! ;p

    I AM glad it was only a TAG!! LOL!!

  80. myorii
    January 13, 2011 | 12:01 pm

    Oh this is too hilarious! When people ask you not to do specific things, especially ones you never thought about doing in the first place, they are totally ASKING for you to do it. Kinda like how one of my friends facebooked that she's on this one really embarrassing video for work that has been uploaded onto youtube. She begged and warned all of us not to look it up. Guess what we all did?

    Ah, it's like the sign next to the big red button that screams “DO NOT PUSH THE RED BUTTON”

  81. Nicole
    January 13, 2011 | 12:15 pm

    “Verbatim? I don't even know what that means.” That's damn funny.

  82. Joann Mannix
    January 13, 2011 | 1:39 pm

    My family just assumes they'll be in the blog. Although, having teenage girls, I try not to mention it to them if they're in there and just pray they don't read it because oh, the drama!

    My friends say that to me all the time, too. I honestly think that secretly they WANT to be in the blog.

    I've had a tag in my ass crack. It's not fun.

  83. Sex, Drugs and Bacon Sandwiches
    January 13, 2011 | 2:15 pm

    I had to start an entirely new blog in the hope that this time I can keep my big fat mouth shut and then blog about whoever I want… I was disappointed with the tag but not sure what I was hoping for – Scary!!

  84. Shell
    January 13, 2011 | 5:30 pm

    See, this is why I don't tell IRL people about my blog: I'd lose a lot of blog material. ;)

  85. Booyah's Momma
    January 13, 2011 | 6:09 pm

    Your husband is such a good sport. I can't imagine mine encouraging me to talk about his arse on my blog. Let alone take a picture of it… or his dingletag.

  86. Ro
    January 13, 2011 | 6:41 pm

    ahahah- dingletag- funny lady I think is now above me.

    As always.. you have me peeing a little.. NICE!

    xoxo

    RO

    PS.. you won an award.. you can go collect it over at my house(blog)

    http://randomroro.blogspot.com

    HOLLEEEEEEEEEER

  87. Kernut the Blond
    January 13, 2011 | 7:14 pm

    First – your hubby has a cute rear. Thanks for the pic :)

    Second – I have to write about my friends and ex-BFs. If I didn't I'd have little to write about. Dating makes for excellent blog fodder! I just change their names.

    My sister's been petrified ever since I wrote an article detailing a discussion we'd had about sex toys, and who bought them for us. It was a good convo – I HAD to write about it. I know you understand. :)

  88. KittyCat
    January 13, 2011 | 7:22 pm

    This is why I had to go anonymous with mine and no one in my family readds it. they just wouldnt get it. and then they would all be pissy about it.

  89. Nari
    January 13, 2011 | 8:34 pm

    It has never occurred to me to blog about the things my husband may or may not have pulled out of his various orifices from one moment to the next.

    I include “may not” because even in his forties, he still manages to amuse himself by claiming to pull things out of a mutltitude of anatomical locations in order to receive the reward of a grossed out grimace or and eeeewwww from me.

    Husbands, you gotta love'em but sometimes I would prefer to do it from a more sanitary distance.

  90. WhisperingWriter
    January 13, 2011 | 9:53 pm

    The pictures made me laugh.

    Sometimes people are all, “Don't mention this in your blog.” But I try to keep the fact that I have a blog a secret for as long as I can.

  91. FreeFlying
    January 13, 2011 | 9:54 pm

    Lol! I love that his only response to that was to dismiss it because of his own vocabulary limitations. Every time I say a word that my husband doesn't recognize, he literally decides that I've made it up and begins to make fun of me. Make fun of ME!!! Do you have any idea how absurd it is when someone is laughing at you when they're clearly the stupid one? And too stupid to recognize facts, no less. He's lucky he's pretty.

  92. Angie
    January 13, 2011 | 10:11 pm

    LOL – yea, I've been told that too!

  93. Lisha @ DeLovely Life
    January 13, 2011 | 10:45 pm

    A tag…Wooo. I was worried. Thanks for that. Your husband's fun. :)

  94. caterpillar
    January 14, 2011 | 12:01 am

    lol…..I use my blog as a medium to threaten Prince Charming into following my whims and fancies….

  95. Andrea (ace1028)
    January 15, 2011 | 1:35 am

    Excellent. Hilarious. Perfect.

  96. Semi-Slacker Mom
    January 16, 2011 | 12:43 am

    Retro complains that because I don't blog how awesome he is in bed.

    whatevs. But he is pretty good.

  97. Gigi
    January 16, 2011 | 1:15 am

    There was a week where all my husband wanted was for me to blog about him. He's come up with these really boring topics like “I sanded a boomerang today, why don't you blog about it?”

    Um, no. But if he was sticking his hands down his pants to find a tag? yeah, that's blogworthy.

  98. Ginger
    January 18, 2011 | 9:15 pm

    Oh No you didnt do that to Mr Charron. He's such a lovely lovely man to let you. I do try not to write about kith and kin not that they know about my blog…

  99. Roxy
    January 29, 2011 | 1:24 am

    Let's see…. I blog about my family, my friends, my neighbors, boss and even strangers.

    Most family doesn't read it but I have been told by an “ex” sister to never mention her. I never had and since she is a psychopath I never would. My parents have asked me not to post pictures or mention their names. So…. I do everything but that LOL

    If you don't want to show up on my blog then don't be associated with me ;) Not that I mention others often, but it's possible.

    Then there is the other blog I write. No one knows about it or at least if they do they sure they hell don't know I write it.

  100. Roxy
    January 29, 2011 | 1:26 am

    I blog about my family, friends, neighbors, boss, strangers, you name it. If you don't want to be blogged about then don't associate with me :)

    No one knows about my “other” blog though. Well no one knows I write it LOL

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