I’m a grandmother!

Please help me to welcome the newest additions to our family: Chelsea and Kelsey.

My daughter is a tween mom.
Isn’t that great?

Ok.
So obviously this is a school project meant to teach 11 year old children the repercussions of sex.
I think.
I can’t be sure because when I say such things to my daughter as, “Did you have a Cesarean or a vaginal birth?”
She says, “I didn’t give birth to them.”
So I respond, “Then why do you have twins?”
“I must have adopted them.”
“You must have adopted them? You mean you aren’t sure? I’m pretty sure you’d know if you’d adopted twins.”

So all of this to say, we have no idea where these babies came from.
Which then negates my theory that the school is trying to preach abstinence.

No matter.
We are just thrilled about their arrival.

When my husband came home from work last night, my daughter proudly said, “You’re a grampa!” and presented him with his granddaughters.

“Know what I named them?” she asked.
“Svetlana,” he replied.
“She has twins,” I interjected. “You need to guess two names.”
“Svetlana & Co.” he corrected.
My daughter then asked, “Do you love them?”
“I’ll love them over-easy with a side of bacon tomorrow for breakfast,” he said.
Walking away, we heard her grumble something about not letting him babysit.
Good plan.

At supper my daughter said, “It’s a good thing I have two babies. This way if something happens to one of them, I’ll still have one.”
I replied, “I have four kids. Does that mean that if something happens to three of them, I still have one so I’ll be ok.”
“Pretty much.”

Of course no family discussion is ever complete without the 13 year old interjecting, “What happens if I get a girl pregnant?”
“I’ll gun-tape your penis to your leg.”
No more comments from the peanut gallery after that.

My daughter also has to make a sort of baby book in which she writes Chelsea and Kelsey’s milestones.
She asked me to help her with the corrections.
So she began reading to me what she had written:
-the bold writing is her reading
-the italics are my thoughts
-the regular font is what I actually interject
-and the capitals, ie. screaming, are her words
Wow! I never knew parenting was so hard! you think?
Kelsey has been great since we got home from the hospital. wait for it…
Chelsea on the other hand hasn’t been sleeping through the night. I have news for you, babies don’t sleep through the night. Never. Ever.
Chelsea isn’t drinking her milk either. Put her on the breast now. Let me see how she’s latching on. Maybe she isn’t latching on properly.
MOM! I’M NOT BREAST FEEDING!
You should. It’s way cheaper than formula feeding, and if you’re a single mother of twins, you won’t be able to afford…
MOM, THAT’S NOT THE POINT OF THE ASSIGNMENT.
I’m very disappointed with Chelsea’s behaviour. She cries all the time. Maybe she wants to breastfeed…
….daughter takes her egg-twins and exits the room without so much as a thank you for my help.
Ingrate.
I can’t wait till those twins come home knocked up.
Then she’ll know what I’M going through
Did you like this? Share it:
114 Responses to I’m a grandmother!
  1. suz
    January 22, 2011 | 4:45 pm

    They're eggs. The stork brought them!

    Just make sure she gets the WHOLE story…

  2. Melissa
    January 22, 2011 | 4:46 pm

    Oh goodness…I'm getting ready to go through this very same assignment with my daughter.

  3. Holly
    January 22, 2011 | 4:47 pm

    This IS HILARIOUS!! I LOVE it!! The breastfeeding and over-easy with bacon… BAHAHAHA!!!PRICELESS!! (((HUGS)))

  4. ms. caboo
    January 22, 2011 | 4:51 pm

    I had the baby egg when I was in Jr. High, and I made it all the way until the last day, when one of the boys in my class took the egg and threw it out the second floor windows of our classroom. Baby went bye-bye! I was pissed.

  5. Marla
    January 22, 2011 | 4:55 pm

    Too funny!

    When our kids were in HS they brought home baby dolls that actual were programmed to cry, wet, freak out in the middle of the night, etc. These things even knew if they were left alone too long (neglected).

    It was an interesting time at Hansen Farm. Although, I would have let them borrow one of their siblings for that project.

  6. Carri
    January 22, 2011 | 5:18 pm

    I had to carry a stupid doll around for a week! WTF did that teach me? Nothing.

  7. Kristina P.
    January 22, 2011 | 5:19 pm

    Have one of the twins tried to stab her in her sleep yet, like real babies do?

  8. Doreen McGettigan
    January 22, 2011 | 5:27 pm

    This brought back the fun memories of my 2 daughter doing the assignment at the same time (1 daughter was adopted they were in the same grade).
    The younger kids were horribly threatening to the poor little eggs.
    I am happy to report that all 4 of them grew up and are now great parents!

  9. ae
    January 22, 2011 | 5:28 pm

    Congrats Grandma! I know you are so proud;)

    We had those stupid crying baby dolls when I was in Jr. High! At that point I would have killed to get to care for an egg.

  10. StephanieC | Seriously? Really?? Seriously?
    January 22, 2011 | 5:55 pm

    Well, you know those mini-eggs are already on the shelf for Easter, so anything is possible!

    Seriously?… Reeeally??… Seriously?

    Parenting eggs is hard… kids on the other hand, piece a cake! ;-)

  11. Chanel
    January 22, 2011 | 6:01 pm

    They're using eggs now? When I was in middle school they made me tote around a full bag of flour in a diaper for a week. Eggs seems like they'd be easier. If they were hardboiled. Otherwise, I suppose you lose points if you break one of them.

    I think she favors Kelsey.

  12. Bouncin' Barb
    January 22, 2011 | 6:04 pm

    It's nice to be a young grandmother isn't it? This is a great idea but shouldn't they let the parents know what the real point is before doing this? Just curious.

  13. nitebyrd
    January 22, 2011 | 6:07 pm

    My daughter got an egg when she was in HS. She dropped it getting on the bus the first day.

    She failed the course.

    I worry a lot about my future grandchildren.

    (I do like that penis taping comment, I'm writing it down to tell my son.)

  14. MamaKK922
    January 22, 2011 | 6:10 pm

    This was so hilarious. I needed this laugh today.

  15. Mamma has spoken
    January 22, 2011 | 6:23 pm

    So if she breaks one, she can go to the frig and get a new daughter uhn?

  16. myevil3yearold
    January 22, 2011 | 6:25 pm

    I got a D on the baby egg project. Mostly due to damage of my little hard boiled darlings.

    My kids now are much tougher. I have even let one roll off the bed and she didn't break.

  17. Oilfield Trash
    January 22, 2011 | 6:28 pm

    I loved the comment about the bacon and eggs for breakfast. Sounds like something I would have said.

  18. Linda Medrano
    January 22, 2011 | 6:30 pm

    If your tween daughter enjoys this experience, I'm worried. These are eggs and it's kind of fun. Real babies, not so much. Although I had two myself, I don't have any idea what I was thinking. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Females should just say no. I mean, what's the point, really? My son and his wife have four. What were they thinking? Oops! Sandra had four. Sorry Sandra!

  19. Boobies
    January 22, 2011 | 6:32 pm

    WHEW! You scared me there for a second Granny!

    We had to do that when I was in school. Not sure it was a very meaningful exercise, at least for me. But I love how you're running with it.

    Bwhahaha @ taping your son's penis to his leg…I dig!

  20. Sam
    January 22, 2011 | 7:00 pm

    You know, when I was in elementary school, I couldn't WAIT until high school, because based on what television shows taught me, I would get to bring home one of those mechanical baby dolls and play mommy for a week.

    WELL high school came and went. And no baby for this wannabe-mommy. Not even a bag of flour, or twin eggs (twiggs?). I was a little bit more than disappointed. That was pretty much all I ever wanted out of high school. And I never got it. Fail. :p

    Anyway, I'm glad not everyone was deprived of this tween-mom experience, hehee :p. Hoping the lesson is learned! Sounds like Chelsea is going to be the one to teach it. :p

    This post cracked me up. And thanks for the opportunity to vent about my terrible egg-less high school experience. I might blog about it myself. And link to this post, of course. :p

  21. Nicole
    January 22, 2011 | 7:07 pm

    A-Game today, lady. Can I borrow the guntape?

  22. ChiTown Girl
    January 22, 2011 | 7:11 pm

    I never got to do this in school, and I always felt like I missed out. But, I was the oldest granddaughter of the 12 grandkids (on my mom's side) so I got PLENTY of practice changing diapers, making bottles, singing lullabies, etc. The eggs are much more fun!

  23. Coffeypot
    January 22, 2011 | 7:26 pm

    You daughter gets up in the middle of the night to tend to a crying egg. And talks to them and notices differences in personalities? She needs to be in therapy. But on the good side, you can tell her if she doesn’t clean her room or do what ever you say, y’all will have those eggs for breakfast. Blackmail works on kids quiet well.

  24. The name's Summer. Put 'er there.
    January 22, 2011 | 7:27 pm

    Funny! I love the comment about losing one kid…but eh, you have another! Oh and Svetlana & Co. was good. :)

  25. FatAngryBlog
    January 22, 2011 | 7:29 pm

    Holy crap, this post was hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Heather
    January 22, 2011 | 7:34 pm

    It is a shame your daughter won't take advice from a more experienced parents. Tweens. They just think they know everything.

  27. Gwen
    January 22, 2011 | 7:38 pm

    I, too, have twins…except mine aren't eggs. When my twins are doing something dicey, I often say “No worries, I have a duplicate in case anything should happen”. No one ever laughs. Now I know why. I think like an 11 year old!

  28. Ami
    January 22, 2011 | 7:41 pm

    Eggsactly what are you trying to say here?

    My dad and his brother were twins. My grandma said to them at least weekly, “One of you is a spare.”

    When they asked 'which one' she would tell them to stop whatever it was that was making her crazy and she wouldn't have to decide RIGHT NOW.

    Turns out my dad was the spare.
    But I guess that's another story.

    And seriously? Your daughter is incredibly creative with her little journal. And you made me laugh. Which is something considering my mental state.

  29. Yvonne
    January 22, 2011 | 8:05 pm

    Sandra you live the most hilarious life! Had I taken that assignment when I was in school, I guarantee you that I would have dropped the “babies” before even getting them home!

  30. Jo
    January 22, 2011 | 8:22 pm

    Just like real babies, those eggs are going to get pretty stinky in a few days. That will be the true test of a mother's love. :-)

  31. The Vegetable Assassin
    January 22, 2011 | 8:40 pm

    I never understood the point of experiments like the egg adoption thing. I mean they're clearly nothing like real babies. A real baby you can just dose up with whiskey and it'll sleep all day long leaving you to shop online and go bar hopping. I mean, am I wrong? Those eggs are like hard work, man. You have to actually write stuff about THEM.

    Um…right?

    What's that? No, I have no idea why I don't have kids.

  32. Julia
    January 22, 2011 | 9:15 pm

    You are stinking hilarious! Svetlana!! hahaha! Thank goodness I am nowhere near ready to be a mother!

  33. My Big Secret Blog :)
    January 22, 2011 | 9:28 pm

    Your daughter's school is cool! I like the sound of this project. :) Also, this post made me laugh hard! :D

    • Xantara
      September 24, 2011 | 4:47 am

      Wow I must confess you make some very terncnhat points.

  34. Bless My Bitchy Heart
    January 22, 2011 | 9:31 pm

    Love this story-cracked UP! (pardon pun).

  35. Sherri
    January 22, 2011 | 9:46 pm

    funny!!!

    i'm a real granny… my kiddo is 25 and has 3 kids… a set of twin girls included… they are something else!

    the things you say to your kiddo… reminds me so much of myself… slightly twisting with the minimal chance of permanent damage….

    i've always held the notion that our kids are ours to torture…. :)

  36. laughingwolf
    January 22, 2011 | 9:56 pm

    lol… good that EGGS are involved :O

  37. TheBabyMammaChronicles
    January 22, 2011 | 9:59 pm

    Really, your children know how you respond and yet they seem to walk right into it regardless. That means they appreciate you :)

  38. Rebecca
    January 22, 2011 | 10:35 pm

    This post is hilarious on all kinds of different levels. Thanks for sharing and congratulations Grandma!

  39. Suzy
    January 22, 2011 | 10:59 pm

    I thought this was hilarious. I didn't fall off my chair or LMAO but I think you know why. xo

  40. Carrie Lynne
    January 22, 2011 | 11:22 pm

    Tell her she can drop them off at any fire station.

  41. Monkey Man
    January 22, 2011 | 11:41 pm

    The only experiment my kids ever got from school that involved eggs was to package them as best you could and drop them from a two story building to see if they would break or still be whole. Maybe I should have tried that with them years ago and I wouldn't be going through all this teens angst b.s. today.

    PS: I like my omlettes with ham and cheese plus a dollop of sour cream and sprinkles of bacon bits. Not those fake-on bits, but the real thing.

  42. secret agent woman
    January 22, 2011 | 11:46 pm

    SO will her children be chickens?

  43. Bridget
    January 22, 2011 | 11:59 pm

    Too funny! I thankfully escaped having to carry the baby eggs around when I was in high school…

  44. Aren't they cheaper by the dozen?

  45. Snuggle Wasteland
    January 23, 2011 | 12:15 am

    I think it's time for a Sears family portrait. Guaranteed to make Awkward Family Photos.

  46. SkippyMom
    January 23, 2011 | 12:34 am

    I think I can hear you thinking the same thing – “Stupidest project in the history of the world.”

    I don't know why they do this – and with eggs no less.

    I am surprised it still exists and so happy that my kids [all 5] never had to do it. I would've had breakfast. Like your husband.

    Surprisingly I am not a grandma yet. [in real time]

  47. life in the mom lane
    January 23, 2011 | 12:42 am

    “I'll gun-tape your penis to your leg.”

    Best. comeback. ever. ;)

  48. Belle
    January 23, 2011 | 1:30 am

    You mean I could have had eggs instead of kids? I wish someone had told me that in highscool.

  49. middle child
    January 23, 2011 | 1:39 am

    I'm sorry but I am not addicted to blogging. No really, I'm not! Or maybe I am. Even so, I am not ready to quit. I wish you luck in your endevors though. Are you going to use the gum or the patch?

  50. Jeanie
    January 23, 2011 | 1:48 am

    Won't the get rotten before long…wait I guess that is what happens with real kids too. Good luck with the grandma thing.

  51. Julianna
    January 23, 2011 | 2:07 am

    I got an A+ on that assignment. I also got an A+ on my “marriage” assignment too… funny part? I “married” my (now) ex-husband for that project.

    I did all the work really, he just looked good in the pictures… probably should have known then. would have saved me alot of time and aggrivation 15 years later.

  52. Lisha @ DeLovely Life
    January 23, 2011 | 2:08 am

    I love this. Maybe she wants to breastfeed. Of course she wants to breastfeed. That's the good stuff! I love the “Disappointed with Chelsea's behavior”. Ha! Infants cry. It's sort of their “thing”. I just can't describe all the ways I love this. And I had to do this project. I totally dropped it. Way better scrambled and served with toast.

  53. Kimberly
    January 23, 2011 | 2:28 am

    I don't think that the breasfeeding is the real issue here. Like those babies? Have no arms and no legs. And no nose. Was your daughter doing any illicit drugs or drinking or both?
    Did you break it to her that eggs have an expiry date?
    I know I just got all Debbie Downer up in hizzle.

  54. Jill
    January 23, 2011 | 2:30 am

    Congratulations. They're beautiful.

    When I become a grandma, I want to be called GLAM-MA.

  55. Mrs. Tuna
    January 23, 2011 | 2:37 am

    I think they have your eyes.

  56. Brandy Rose
    January 23, 2011 | 2:40 am

    Oh Mom! Lmao!

  57. Kristen
    January 23, 2011 | 2:46 am

    holy crow I didn't realize schools really did those types of assignments anymore! Your comments are too dang funny! Glad to hear you aren't really a grandma, and that your 11 yr old daughter didn't just give birth to twins, or adopt, or wherever it is that they came from! :)

  58. Sarahf
    January 23, 2011 | 2:47 am

    Your grandchildren are gorgeous. I hope they have your way with words.

  59. becca
    January 23, 2011 | 3:50 am

    congrats grandma and your grandchildren are beautiful

  60. mandersblue
    January 23, 2011 | 3:55 am

    when i had an egg baby i hard-boiled it so it would be sturdier. or maybe that was an episode of degrassi jr high… sometimes i get us mixed up.

  61. Momma Jorje
    January 23, 2011 | 4:06 am

    I remember doing this assignment (thankfully with just ONE egg!) but for the life of me I can NOT recall the point! It was probably something about responsibility.

    On one of the last couple of days of our assignment (we just had to keep it alive!), I was putting my coat on in class and hit the egg with my sleeve, knocking it off my desk. Oops!

    Thankfully, my human babies have fared better! heh

  62. Kimber Leszczuk.
    January 23, 2011 | 4:17 am

    OMG You have me in tears I am laughing so hard. Please don't ever stop writing. Ever! LMAO! I love your family. They are great. They sound so much like my own it is uncanny! I can't wait till we get to the egg assignment. My daughter will probably make jokes that when she finds the dad she is going to give him a vasectomy. ha ha ha.

  63. A Daft Scots Lass
    January 23, 2011 | 5:57 am

    Congratulations Granny :-)

    Indeed you must be very proud of those wee bald headed babes…. How on earth do you tell them apart, thought?

  64. On My Soapbox
    January 23, 2011 | 7:23 am

    If the grandkids are bad, they're gonna fry. Then again, do you want to eat bad eggs?

  65. Sex, Drugs and Bacon Sandwiches
    January 23, 2011 | 9:58 am

    You must be so proud? And I must say, those are the cutest babies ever!

  66. Polly
    January 23, 2011 | 10:17 am

    lol I love it!!

  67. DysFUNctional Mom
    January 23, 2011 | 1:36 pm

    You are going to make a fabulous grandmother! Don't spoil those little eggs, though.

  68. Ratz
    January 23, 2011 | 1:54 pm

    ROFL. Congrats Gramma.

  69. QueenBee
    January 23, 2011 | 2:57 pm

    I'm just too eggtravagantly scrambled over it all. LOLOLOL.

  70. gayle
    January 23, 2011 | 4:56 pm

    I am dying laughing!! So wish I knew you and your family in real life!!!

    I guess it's up to you to let the kids know how those grandbabies got here! :) )

  71. Heather
    January 23, 2011 | 9:44 pm

    Congrats on your beautiful granddaughters! This was a great post!

  72. Not So Simply Single
    January 23, 2011 | 10:59 pm

    Hilarious….
    THIS IS GREAT!

    I think there needs to be something in the schools so all kids learn the repercussions of sex… BOYS TOO!

    LIFE!

    Hm….

  73. Tracy
    January 24, 2011 | 12:26 am

    HAHAHAHA!!! that is a wonderful scene :) thanks for the laugh!

  74. Stephanie in Suburbia
    January 24, 2011 | 1:11 am

    Oh man this is hilarious! And soooort of disturbing. I'll be curious what she learns at the end.

  75. Canadianbloggergirl
    January 24, 2011 | 1:47 am

    Come check out your award!

    CBG
    canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com

  76. Brea
    January 24, 2011 | 2:24 am

    WOW. I haven't laughed that hard in a LONG time. Thanks :)

    I'm so glad that I found your blog! Following you now :)

    Brea

  77. Making It Work Mom
    January 24, 2011 | 3:12 am

    Wait!!! Wait!!! Is no one else disturbed by the fact that your 11 year old daughter is doing a project that is intended to teach abstinence. She's 11!!!!!!! Isn't this a highschool project or at least an 8th grader project.
    My 11 year old doesn't even know about sex, (my hands are over my ears and I am singing LA LA LA LA) and I refuse to believe anyone that tells me otherwise.
    With all that being said I wish you daughter all the luck in the world in mothering her eggs. Oh and I am with you she should have breastfeed – first time mothers you can't tell them anything.

  78. Ang
    January 24, 2011 | 3:43 am

    Dad's comments are great! Love the bacon and gun-taping the penis…LMAO!!

    I always thought these projects end up being more fun/games than they are meant to be. Aren't there enough people with babies around each kid could adopt a REAL baby for a week…sure THAT project lesson would hit home!!

  79. Anonymous
    January 24, 2011 | 4:22 am

    “I'll gun-tape your penis to your leg.” Nice! MUCH better than the “sex” talk I got from my dad. When I was 12, he told me if he found I had sex before I was 18, he'd “get a sewing kit out and sew up your pee pee”. Suffice it to say, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20. What a nice gentle talk between a father & daughter, huh?

  80. A Beer for the Shower
    January 24, 2011 | 4:27 am

    I once discovered an ex was cheating on me when she came home from the store with brown eggs.

  81. Ash
    January 24, 2011 | 5:34 am

    oh god! LOL. congrats btw.

    ~ash's mum

  82. ratieh
    January 24, 2011 | 6:48 am

    bwahahaha…it's so funny! =D

    btw, thanks for stopping by to my blog, and i've followed you too! =)

    Greetings from Indonesia!

    warm hugs – ratieh

  83. Myya
    January 24, 2011 | 7:45 am

    This is hilarious! I love how you handled it all. I had to do this when I was in school too… I had twin boys… boy were they screwing with my head thinking I'd get boys in real life.

  84. JOYIEandJP
    January 24, 2011 | 7:48 am

    I was laughing in the middle of the story and was laughing till the very end. A very hilarious story. Love it!

  85. shortmama
    January 24, 2011 | 8:28 am

    My hubs would have made the same comment about wanting them for breakfast…lame!

  86. Catherine
    January 24, 2011 | 11:09 am

    That's funny that they still use the egg thing to teach kids about sex education in school. But I think they are missing some links if the kids don't know how they got the eggs in the first place…. :)

  87. Beth
    January 24, 2011 | 12:49 pm

    Thank you for starting my day with a smile, touching on a serious subject in a lighthearted way. Having a grown daughter, I sympathize with mothers of young daughters today. Been there, done that.
    Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and leaving such a nice comment.

  88. Cindy
    January 24, 2011 | 4:17 pm

    my 16 year old is a senior and he never had the bring an egg home as a baby assignment.

    I'm kind of bummed. I would have loved toruring him….on the other hand I had my toddler when the teenager was 14 so I pretty much think he got a great preview !

    hehe

  89. Date Girl
    January 24, 2011 | 5:02 pm

    lol, hilarious. At least she didn't bring home one of those computer dolls that actually cries and keeps the entire house up. I don't really see how eggs are supposed to show her anything. I remember it was a bag of flower when I was in middle school.

  90. Steadfast Ahoy!
    January 24, 2011 | 5:04 pm

    I hired a grade 9 student to babysit my 18 month old every day, from when she got off the bus from school, until my husband came home from work. I was on bed rest for four months. Hubby and I laughed and laughed at her antics with the babe. We told her it was her lesson in Birth Control.
    Thanks for visiting Steadfast. Come again anytime. I've had a good time reading here, and I will return. Rosemary

  91. The Adorkable Ditz
    January 24, 2011 | 5:48 pm

    I'm SOOO glad that I didn't have to do an assignment like that back in school. But I don't see why she was over reacting! Those were hilarious and truthful answers.

    Teenagers. haha.

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

  92. Daffy
    January 24, 2011 | 6:19 pm

    “I'll gun-tape your penis to your leg.”

    Somehow…someway…I'm working this into conversation with my bf tonight. I'm still giggling over it. It *could* be an after affect of the carbination from the diet coke that spewed from my nose when I got to that line, but I'm more leaning towards its just plain funny.

  93. Betsy from Tennessee
    January 24, 2011 | 6:57 pm

    Cute post, Sandra…. I raised three boys –and am glad to say that they didn't get any girl pregnant… Yipes!!! My hubby did find out recently that his son found out that he has a son —-from a girlfriend he had when he was in college. She never told him –until the child became a teen… GADS!!!!

    Schools and churches and families need to do what all they can to keep these teens from getting pregnant…ANYTHING… Some little girls don't realize how hard parenting can be…

    My best friend's daughter (in her late 20's) got pregnant on a one-night stand… She now has twin boys (about age 2 now) –and the father has long-gone. This gals life changed in one brief moment. AND–the grandmother (my friend) is helping raise those kids….

    Hugs,
    Betsy

  94. meleah rebeccah
    January 24, 2011 | 7:07 pm

    I can't stop laughing over the breastfeeding, and over-easy with bacon!! Ahahahahahahha. Too funny!!

  95. KittyCat
    January 24, 2011 | 7:14 pm

    Too freakin funny.
    My tattoo girl had this class in HS that they had to carry around a baby, that the electronics reported back to the computer if she was being a “good” mom or not.
    That damn thing cried all the time.

    But it was a great experience for her, having to drag around diaper bags and car seats.

    I dont that my daughter has a kid any time soon because of that little experience .
    just sayin

  96. Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life
    January 24, 2011 | 7:44 pm

    I nearly wet myself laughing at this! Your daughter sounds like my daughter would have been at that age if we'd done the same assignment.

    too cute. but, a great lesson.

  97. Pam
    January 24, 2011 | 8:02 pm

    Hahahaha! Are they identical or fraternal?
    My 17 year old daughter: “Mom I think Ben wants to ask me out.”
    Me: “You're not dating until you get your tubes tied.”

  98. Joann Mannix
    January 24, 2011 | 9:06 pm

    I have 3 teenage daughters. I am constantly showing them my stretch marks and telling them bikinis don't lie, so if they don't want this, it's just best to stay away from boys.

    What cute egg grandchildren you have.

  99. Pearl
    January 24, 2011 | 9:14 pm

    Your husband is hilarious! HAHA…
    BTW, Sandra I am tagging you with an award. Please visit my blog:-)

  100. CB
    January 24, 2011 | 10:44 pm

    You are amazingly fucking fantastic chick!!!! Haha!!!

    Will you come threaten my bany brother to tape his penis to his leg please!?? Somehow I think it'd have more of an effect!!

  101. Erin
    January 24, 2011 | 11:05 pm

    This is FANTASTIC – thanks for stopping by my blog…I'm so honored! You are the REAL DEAL!!!

    I think your “Grandeggs” are adorable…

    Cognratulations!!

  102. MommaKiss
    January 25, 2011 | 2:09 am

    What the crap? Why are the eggs on her chestal area in that first picture?

    Moving on…

    Teen Mom, you MUST be proud.

  103. Big White Granny Panties
    January 25, 2011 | 2:37 am

    I snorted an entire vat of iced tea I was attempting to drink while reading this.

    Thank you so so much.
    xo GP

  104. Jess @ Fit Chick in the City
    January 25, 2011 | 2:39 am

    This is by far the funniest thing I've read all day! Thank you for the laugh!

  105. Sea.my.madness
    January 25, 2011 | 2:55 am

    Hilarious. The things I have to look forward to…

  106. Julie
    January 25, 2011 | 3:42 am

    I read this post to Jim, he is right now still giggling and wiping his eyes. We remembered Mike bring them eggs home and bring back scrambled eggs the next day cuz he laid them on the table and the cat played with them. Funny post. Thank you for ending my night like this.
    Thanks for stopping by and your sweet comment. Take care and have a blesesd night.

  107. Garden of Egan
    January 25, 2011 | 5:51 am

    Congrats on being a granny.

    Makes me sorta laugh at how closely related the eggs are to the ovaries.

  108. Jessica
    January 25, 2011 | 9:25 am

    They gave us bags of flour wrapped in blankets.

    I dropped my “baby” and it exploded into a pure white dust storm on a city bus.

    I think maybe that's why I never had kids…

  109. Sarah
    January 25, 2011 | 3:26 pm

    I had to put down my coffee out of fear that I would spit it out on my already tender lap top which crashed just last week after I read 'vaginal birth or cesarean?'

    LOVE it.

    also? am taking notes on the proper response for the future when my son asks what will happen if he gets a girl pregnant as a teen.

    gun-tape. got it.

  110. Danielle
    January 25, 2011 | 5:36 pm

    Ha, you CRACK me up! Get it?
    Your such a yokster!

  111. Gayle
    January 26, 2011 | 9:26 am

    How come I didn't know about your blog sooner?

    They are not teaching your girl to not have sex. In fact, I'm not even sure what they are teaching.

    You are frickin' hilarious.

    I am, too, but can't be because my vicious ex would use it in court. Someday…freedom.

  112. Ginger
    January 27, 2011 | 7:09 pm

    You had me there with the title! I thought Wyatt had gone and dunnit..lol.
    Your daughter is such a darling little mom. and really you need to understand the point of the assignment..which is 'Being then best tween mom I can be'.

  113. dtahphotography
    January 30, 2011 | 4:11 pm

    LMAO!! I had so much fun reading this! That penis comment was certainly one I need to remember

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