High school, cliques, and blogging

Since entering the world of blogging, my horizons have expanded.
I am now in touch with a number of people from different parts of the world who write blogs on a variety of different topics.

So of course, I talk about the stories I read and the bloggers I interact with, with the people in my life.

Then one day, someone said to me, “I can’t believe all of this goes on on the Internet. It’s like being in high school.”

Upon hearing that, I was immediately able to transpose certain bloggers I’ve encountered over the months into the various cliques from my high school.
Sure, I can’t pinpoint the “stoners” and chances are there aren’t many “stoner” bloggers out there, because can you really concentrate on writing when you’re cooking up mac ‘n cheese and toast with peanut butter to satisfy the munchies?
…not that I even know what the munchies are…I’m just sayin’, you know, if I had the munchies that would be a good…
…never mind…

So let’s begin with those bloggers who have cult-like status in the blogging world.
They come in all shapes and sizes.
Some claim absolute knowledge on certain topics, ie. childrearing, politics, relationships.
Others claim nothing at all.
They write.
And we will come.
Sometimes they offer substance.
Sometimes they don’t.
And it doesn’t matter.
Because. We. Will. Come.
There’s a certain fascination with these people; a certain ‘je ne sais quoi.’
They aren’t fantastic.
Yet. We. Will. Come.

See, to me, this was the girl in high school who could do no wrong.
Not particularly pretty, talented, or even nice, but won the crown in the town beauty pageant.
Wasn’t overly smart, but somehow, she got the As.
Was caught cheating in biology, but never suffered any consequences for her actions, AND was given the book back in which she had been copying her answers.
I know this because I was sitting right next to that girl, and she said to me, “Do you want me to pass you the book when I’m done?”
I would watch this girl with fascination, because she had nothing more than anybody else.
Yet she had this cult-like power.

Then there are the bloggers who aren’t particularly nice on their blogs.
They don’t really have much to say.
They insult, enrage, and argue.
They don’t have many readers.
And when you do read them, and leave a comment, they respond by challenging the comment.
Fortunately, I’ve only stumbled upon a couple like that, and I usually leave as quickly as I’ve appeared, because…well, because they’re assholes.

Now these were the boys in high school who were mean.
They weren’t bullies.
They just had this knack for being assholes.
You didn’t dare look at them or even walk by their desk, because they would say or do something assholy.
One such particular asshole wiped his boogers on my copy of The Chrysalids.
I should note that said asshole was eventually caught jerking off with a bottle of ketchup at a party…
…yeah, I know, I’m having a hard time figuring out the mechanics of that one too, but hey! That’s what I heard!
And when some guy wipes his snot on your book, you aren’t likely to reject the rumour.

Now let’s get to those bloggers who band together.
They are faithful to one another, they are supportive, they are wildly popular.
And with good reason. They are terrific, funny, insightful, and well written.
But nobody else can get into the clique.
It’s closed.
You can read them. But don’t expect to get into the group because you aren’t. You just aren’t.
And we (I) want their attention.
We (I) want to belong to that group.
We (I) want to tweet cool stuff to them on Twitter even if we (I) don’t actually know what a cool tweet entails.

I don’t even really have to expand upon this, right?
These bloggers are representative of the popular kids in school.
The popular kids who were always together. Had been since kindergarten.
And even though they would smile and talk to the other kids, you could not get into that group.
I know.
I tried.
And failed.
But I still liked these kids.
Which is why I kept trying until I graduated.
Then I got Facebook, and none of them are even on there! So I still can’t get into the fucken group!

And finally, let’s address the mean commenters.
You know what I mean: people who read your blog.
Then say something mean.
Sometimes it’s legitimate.
And sometimes it’s just bullshit.
And even if you try to ignore them, they come back.
Oh, and usually they are anonymous, which is even more frustrating because you can’t retaliate by going to their blogs and calling them cocksuckers…
…not that I’d ever do that.

So this, obviously, is the bully.
Or in my case, the mean girl.
The kid in high school who terrorized me by scratching the word “bitch” on my locker; who made fun of my school bag because it had the word “Sprite” in neon green letters; who followed me after school and threatened to beat me up if I didn’t start looking less pretty.
…ok, she didn’t actually use those words, but what other reason would she have had to chase me across the school yard with her 9 ugly friends who assured me they would hold me down while Gertie – yes, that was her name! – cut my glorious locks off.

And yes, I’m still bitter about that!
Do you know how long I have waited to find a way to bring this up in a post?!!
A. Long. Time.

Did you like this? Share it:
136 Responses to High school, cliques, and blogging
  1. Shell
    January 17, 2011 | 5:08 am

    Funny how we never really leave high school behind, much as we want to.

    I've seen a lot of the group you liken to the asshole boys recently. Not sure if I'm just clicking on the wrong links or what!

    Also, there are a few blogs that I keep trying to read b/c I know people like them, but when I try, their whole blog is like an inside joke and if you aren't in the know, there really isn't any appeal.

    I was a total dork in high school. I still think I am, only now, I'm a loud and proud dork.

  2. Yvonne
    January 17, 2011 | 5:10 am

    ha! i'm with shell, i was kind of a dork in high school as well and well, i'm still a dork and i'm proud of that. color me indifferent.

  3. DB
    January 17, 2011 | 5:13 am

    Haha. This is so true. [This coming from a girl who still experiences it on a daily basis.] You also have the super religious kids, or the hipsters who talk about the same stuff as all of the other hipsters because they want to be unique…

    And then there are the people who aren't in the popular group, but they have a fair amount of friends [and/or readers] who are amusing, but are never really going to be part of that “popular” group. I like to think that I'm part of this group.

    I also like to think that when those popular girls are old, poor, and fat, I'll be wildly successful and hot. But that's a whole 'nother story.

  4. StephanieC @ Seriously?? Really? Seriously?
    January 17, 2011 | 5:24 am

    I'll never be part of the cool group.

    I'm content with the followers I have, and I always hope for more, but I can't be fake.

    I think of you as one of the (nice) popular ones, if that helps!

    And Twitter is bullshit. I'm on it, but I suck at it, and it sucks.

    Ahhh well.

  5. Coffeypot
    January 17, 2011 | 5:35 am

    I don't think I fit into any mold. At least I didn’t recognize myself in your post. I'm not that good at blogging.

    But you know, I have more high school friends now than I did in high school. Funny what 49 years will do to one's personality. I went almost that whole time never seeing or talking to any of them, but now we all get together once a month for burgers and fires and just talk.

    Thanks, Facebook!

    Why didn't we do that in school?

  6. ~ Darla ~
    January 17, 2011 | 5:41 am

    Sad, sad, people, Sandra. Keyboard toughies, I call them. Behind their keyboards they are tough and mean, but say boo to them and they would probably run away crying. (passing you a piece of the chocolate bar) :)

  7. Gina
    January 17, 2011 | 5:45 am

    I think you are the sassy girl with lots of balls who passes notes with an air of nonchalance acting like you wouldn't care if you got caught while I am the dork who blushes when the teacher turns around and catches me with the note in hand! Sigh. I sound so old. Nowadays you would probably be the girl who gets away with texting in class but I'd be the one who forgot to turn her phone to silent!

  8. LilPixi
    January 17, 2011 | 6:06 am

    I agree with this…

    “I've seen a lot of the group you liken to the asshole boys recently. Not sure if I'm just clicking on the wrong links or what!”

    And this….

    “I think of you as one of the (nice) popular ones, if that helps!”

    And what better is there to be.
    I really need to catch up & keep up here, btw. I'm an ADD, scattered (new) blogger. lol

  9. ae
    January 17, 2011 | 6:31 am

    I was not in the popular clique in high school and am still not in the blogging world. But I think life is more fun outside of the “popular group” bubble!

  10. Myya
    January 17, 2011 | 6:40 am

    That is so funny. I guess there are always those people out there no matter the age. I hope I am not in ANY of thise cliques!

  11. Joanne
    January 17, 2011 | 6:41 am

    Wow you really hit the nail right on the freakin' head! Theres a blog that I follow…she actually commented on my blog and I felt like some boot kissin' ninny…you like me! you really like me!!!! What a twit. My bully's name was Jackie. Heres hoping Gertie and Jackie both have adult acne and painful 'roids. Not bitter. I swear i'm not! Blessings, Joanne

  12. Booyah's Momma
    January 17, 2011 | 6:44 am

    You know who I always envied in high school? Those girls who always looked rockin' hot, and had the self confidence to flaunt their stuff. Know anyone like that? :)

    Kidding aside, I loved this post. Sadly, I think there are a lot of similarities, and you described some of the cliquiness perfectly.

    You may get the last laugh, though. Did I mention you look hot in a bikini?

  13. Rach
    January 17, 2011 | 6:52 am

    Love this post! What you said is so true-there will always be the meanies no matter what stage of life you are in. I seriously don't get why people bother to be mean through blogging though. Seems like a waste of energy to me. I guess some people need that weird satisfaction of putting others down no matter the medium that they choose.

  14. Jess
    January 17, 2011 | 7:00 am

    I was just thinking about this the other day!The Blogosphere is just like high school!
    I feel like there are some blogs that no matter how many times I comment I will never get a comment back from them. I feel like there are bloggers that say some nice things in a comment on one post but then I never hear from them again.
    We grow up but never really leave that frame of mind, do we?! lol

  15. Laoch of Chicago
    January 17, 2011 | 7:10 am

    As I have gotten older I finally learned to embrace those who are friendly and kind and reject the rest. It really has made things simpler.

  16. The Girlie Blog
    January 17, 2011 | 7:49 am

    I have thoroughly enjoyed this post, and I completely agree with you! Bloggers do tend to behave like high school cliques, but thankfully I have not the experience with assholes. I did encounter 1 mean girl, and though the comment was “anonymous”, I know exactly who it is.

    Your writing never fails to bring truth, as well as a smile to my face!

    Thank you for such a refreshing read!

    The girlie blogger

    PS: you are welcome to join my circle, though it's not that popular ;O)

  17. Mynx
    January 17, 2011 | 8:32 am

    You are totally right. I seem to have been welcomed into an everexpanding group of lovely people, but I felt so much the 'new girl at school” when I started.

    It still surprises me when more established bloggers comment on my posts

  18. Gigi
    January 17, 2011 | 10:45 am

    I wasn't part of the cool kid crowd in high school and I wouldn't say I'm part of the cool kid crowd in blogville either. But, now I have the self-confidence to not care – unlike back then.

  19. Mamma has spoken
    January 17, 2011 | 11:55 am

    Thanks Sandra for pulling up all those ugly feelings that I had pushed down all these 37 years ;o) The thing is, even in adult life, we still experience these moments or at least I do at work. And just like high school, I'm on the outside looking in but content with it because it fits my personality. For example, if I had over a thousand followers like you do, I would never get off the computer because I would be busy reading all their updates on their blogs. As it is with my lowly number of 47, I spend about 2 hours each morning, reading and commenting. Which is fine with me, I don't need to be spending more time on this laptop….

    • Anjii
      September 24, 2011 | 3:52 am

      This “free sharing” of ifnomrtaion seems too good to be true. Like communism.

  20. hoodyhoo
    January 17, 2011 | 11:56 am

    Love ya, babe — I always was a dork, always will be a dork, and FINALLY — I'm proud to be a dork. Fuck them cool kids anyway, I've always assumed they all ended up with a nasty social disease.

  21. boycottamericanwomen
    January 17, 2011 | 12:05 pm

    Why American men should boycott American women


    I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

    American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

    This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.


  22. Ann
    January 17, 2011 | 12:07 pm

    I've often compared blogging to high school. You see your friends every day, you go to visit a friend and you see a whole bunch of your other friends hanging out in the comment section.
    The only difference between my blogging and my high school years is that now I feel like I'm hanging with a really cool crowd :)

  23. cardiogirl
    January 17, 2011 | 12:21 pm

    Whoa. Gertie chased you down with nine other chicks AND CUT YOUR HAIR?! I would spend the rest of my life hating her withe passion of 1,000 white hot suns.

    Moving on, I've felt that way all of my life. I am the borderline dork/loner. Not cool enough to hang with the cool kids unless NO OTHER COOL KIDS ARE IN THE CLASS. Then, when I am in the hallway and I say hi to that cool kid I am shunned by the cool kid AND all of her friends.

    Good enough in a pinch, but not the first choice. Story. Of. My. Life.

    And yes, I have tried to crack into the cool kids' cliques online and have been totally unsuccessful.

    I hated high school.

  24. Snuggle Wasteland
    January 17, 2011 | 12:40 pm

    Blogging is like high school only you don't have to worry about anyone seeing the zit on your forehead and nobody knows if you're easy – unless you tell them.

  25. Sparkling
    January 17, 2011 | 12:51 pm

    So, so very good!! I hate those blogs that I love so much and I comment on and they don't respond!! And they never come and comment on mine. Sigh. Someone should do a study of women bloggers, 35-45 to determine how many of them felt like you did in high school and use blogging as way to entertain and express themselves today. PhD, anyone?

  26. SkippyMom
    January 17, 2011 | 1:13 pm

    Still shaking my head over BAW comment. Wow.

    Anyway. I agree about the high school aspect to some extent – but I avoid the blogs that bully and the commentators that are mean.

    You have to realize that you are one of the popular chicks out here in blogland – half the time I come here to read [and laugh my butt off] the first comment invariably reads “OMG! I, like, so can't believe I AM YOUR FIRST comment! I have ALWAYS wanted to be your first comment!” ::headdesk:: You know when people are vying to be your new, best, first commenter/friend forever you are the Prom Queen of the Blogdom High School.

    And you earned it girlie. Enjoy.

    And my group of Tadpoles isn't popular or anything – but are the best, most inclusive bunch of people I have ever met – and you are welcome ANYTIME. We all love you and your friends.

    Long live the Queen!

  27. Diane
    January 17, 2011 | 1:14 pm

    So glad you wrote this post! I started blogging last year and it didn't take too long for me to realize how much this world is so much like high school.
    And I have found that I am still more like the girl I was in high school than I realized…still the “hard to get to know” quiet type wondering what it is exactly that the rest of the world sees in what's her name.

  28. lyndylou
    January 17, 2011 | 1:44 pm

    I love this post and know exactly what you mean. It made me laugh out loud, hilarious!!

  29. Momma Jorje
    January 17, 2011 | 1:52 pm

    So which one are you? because you seem to have a good following, regular commenters…

    I read all your posts but don't comment often because your friends seem to have it pretty well covered here.

    Wait, which one does this comment make ME??


  30. Sugar Mama
    January 17, 2011 | 1:53 pm

    Is the BAW comment for real? Please tell me no.

    I have joked about this several times on Twitter, that I feel like the dorky girl trying desperately to fit in with the cool kids. Now I know how those kids felt in high school and I'm so glad I was nice to them!

  31. onemixedbag.com
    January 17, 2011 | 1:54 pm

    I think you summed it up to a T. I know what you mean about the “cool kids” twittering away and feeling left out. *lol* I have tried to tweet, but nobody ever replies, so I gave it up. (insert violin music) It is almost as if it a clique but fun to read.

  32. Texan Zombie Goddess
    January 17, 2011 | 2:02 pm

    Hmmm…which am I.

    I don't comment nasty ever.
    I am open to everyone.
    I talk about everything. And nothing. All at the same time.
    I bitch and moan.
    I praise.
    I am the decent grades student who is in the state choir and theater, loves sci-fi, a practicing Wiccan, anorexic, closet smoker and gets along with groups ranging from the snobs to the ROTC to the stoners.
    I was even extorted in the 4th grade and ended up sitting next to the bitch in English in high school where she asked for my help because she was dumb.as.shit.

    So…who am I.

    I suddenly feel like I am in “The Breakfast Club”. Who am I?


  33. Kelley
    January 17, 2011 | 2:04 pm

    You are so funny! What a great analogy. I wish the booger guy would have wiped all of his boogers on Gertie. Looking at your different groups here, well, I hope I am not in any of them! This post would've been even better if you had named names but…you are one if the nice, fun
    bloggers that would never do that!

  34. Soccer Mom
    January 17, 2011 | 2:08 pm

    I didn't recognize myself there too well, but I'm hoping I'm just me. I was just me in high school, too. Not a toughie, not too cliquey, just…whatever :) I'm good with that! You're the cool girl…that I'm sure of :)

    Oh and high school never leaves…we just call it work now. Ugh.

  35. anSeL
    January 17, 2011 | 2:12 pm

    highschool days really left a big mark to each everyone of us.

    one thing that i cannot forget was when my so -called friends are talking bad things about me and they are nice when i'm with them. backstabbers! but it's ggod i finally knew my real friends…

  36. myevil3yearold
    January 17, 2011 | 2:30 pm

    I am a newbie to blogging. But, I totally get what you are saying. Scary mommy was the first big blog that I followed. She commented on my blog once and I felt like I was invited to sit at the cool kids table if only for a day.

  37. Yandie, Goddess of Pickles.
    January 17, 2011 | 2:34 pm

    This is why I get annoyed with blog awards and how they all get passed around to the same 6 people.

    My place in the blogosphere is similar to my place in high school.. A few like-minded people who comment, some are on the fringes of the 'popular' groups, some are outlanders like myself. And yeah, I kick myself when I comment and never get a response and get bummed out. It's worse when you comment and get snarked.. gah. Here come the PTSD flashbacks. Stupid high school. *puts on black lipstick, loud music and pouts.*


  38. Bridget
    January 17, 2011 | 2:46 pm

    I totally agree with you, you nailed it. Wishing I could be one of the cool ones, but I'll just be me. I blog for my myself and my family-the blog friends I have made are the icing on the cake :)

  39. Bird Shit and Baby Caca
    January 17, 2011 | 2:48 pm

    High school never really leaves us huh…it's still traumatizing

  40. Brandy Rose
    January 17, 2011 | 2:56 pm

    What do you mean? You are the “popular kids”.

  41. Snake
    January 17, 2011 | 3:07 pm

    Aha! The high school analogy . . . There's a lot of truth in that! Gotta go . . . I'm craving mac 'n cheese . . . lol

  42. Nicole
    January 17, 2011 | 3:11 pm

    If you want in, you're in, lady. I'll have you in my non group.

    And that Gertie, I blame her parents. I mean, Gertie?!

  43. Ami
    January 17, 2011 | 3:19 pm

    I found Facebook to be a lot like high school. That's who wanted to be my 'friend' there, anyway… the assholes I didn't like in high school. So I deactivated my account.

    Blogging is different for me. I started blogging to have some sort of journal (which I always typo 'hournal' and have to go back and fix) and found I was having fun, and as my high school (GAH! back to high school!!) writing instructor said, 'find my voice'.

    So I blog.

    I'm not trying to attract lots and lots of readers. The ones I do have are great, and I appreciate their input, their senses of humor, and the fact that some of them spend time every single day reading whatever I spew out there.

    It's like high school. Love my friends. The rest can drop off the face of the earth and I won't miss 'em.


  44. becca
    January 17, 2011 | 3:28 pm

    it's amazes me that high school is never truly over we just get older.

  45. Oilfield Trash
    January 17, 2011 | 3:35 pm

    So which group do you fit into?

    I would say with 40+ comments on here that you are the “popular” one.

  46. Julianna
    January 17, 2011 | 3:44 pm

    I think your talking about me in there somewhere… I just can't figure out where…

    And Gertie? Come on… you can't make this stuff up. I guess a Gertie by any other name is still an ass. :)

  47. Bossy Betty
    January 17, 2011 | 3:47 pm

    OK, OK, I'l admit it. I was a faithful reader of a blog until the the writer listed her 50 top blogs and I wasn't in it! I was pretty upset. So, I stopped going to her blog. Oh yeah, I have not come that far since high school… Perhaps maturity will hit me someday.

  48. meleah rebeccah
    January 17, 2011 | 3:58 pm

    You my dear, definitely have a certain 'je ne sais quoi.' And that keeps me running back to this blog on a daily basis. I just love the way you write!

    I know what you mean about the 'popular bloggers' the ones that don't let anyone else into their cliques. To them I say, get over yourself.

    I've learned to simply delete and ignore the 'trolls' who want nothing more than to argue and/or bring seething negativity to the table.

  49. Debbie(single;complicated)
    January 17, 2011 | 4:02 pm

    very interesting post I Think I blog the same way I survived high school..in my own little world!!:)

  50. Danielle
    January 17, 2011 | 4:12 pm

    I had a Gerte in JR. High. She sucked. I think she got prego and bailed in 10th though!

  51. Mrsblogalot
    January 17, 2011 | 4:24 pm

    See now I remember why I never finished High School!

    Too busy cooking up that Mac and cheese…with potato chips…and chocolate..and …um, I mean I don't remember (-:

  52. ms. caboo
    January 17, 2011 | 4:24 pm

    Wow, I hadn't taken the time to think about this being high school again, but you're right. There are also the bloggers who will do massive giveaways on a regular basis to everyone who joins their blog. They're like the kids who want to get into a good college, and join whatever club there is to meet more people and make the high school experience look good for college. Still trying, I guess.

    I guess I don't belong to any of those groups. I have a few followers, I am ignored by some of the bloggers I follow, and some I've just stopped reading cause they are too hyper. Blah. You, however, I throughly enjoy!

  53. Angella Lister
    January 17, 2011 | 4:33 pm

    Oh my God, you are hilarious! I have totally thought that blogland is like high school but I never actually formulated the thought as coherently as this! Good thing, too, because I could never have been as spot on funny. I wrote a very depressed post recently and several of my blog friends were so comforting and they really really understood the night terrors, and i had the thought, as I kept feeling better with each comment that we would have been the emo kids in high school, but I didn't know if we'd have been quite as gentle and supportive in high school so i was very grateful there'd been a few years of growing up since then.

    So are you in the first group you described? That's what I suspect after only one visit, even though you were sitting next to the girl who cheated in Bio instead of being the girl. But you have a cult-like following, and after just one visit, I can see why. I will be back!

    So glad you left a comment on my blog so I could come here and find you.

  54. Samantha Dugan
    January 17, 2011 | 4:34 pm

    Holy shit! I had my locks cut off too! Not by Gertie but still. Nice to know I wasn't the only one and boy do I feel ya on the whole not being allowed in deal….kinda feel that way at times when I come here truth be told. Not your fault however, just that you get so many damn comments I wonder if mine even matters. Gonna stop doing that now in a sisterly locks cut solidarity!

  55. The name's Summer. Put 'er there.
    January 17, 2011 | 4:43 pm

    Funny! It took me back to high school, you painted a nice picture of it!

  56. Quirkyloon
    January 17, 2011 | 4:43 pm

    You hit the nail on the blogging head!

    Although, m'dear, you are definitely one of the popular girls. But one of nice popular girls.

    You know how there was always ONE nice one?

    That's you!

  57. Kristina P.
    January 17, 2011 | 4:47 pm

    Hmmm, I wonder where I fall. Maybe all of the above? :)

  58. CB
    January 17, 2011 | 4:53 pm

    Oh my god dude… I fucking love this post!!!

    You hit that shot spot on hooker!!

    Love your face!

  59. TKW
    January 17, 2011 | 5:09 pm

    Jerking off with a bottle of ketchup? Now THAT's thinking outside the box! Twisted and nasty thinking, but still!

    Did you attend BlogHer? Talk about high school…the live version, in stereo. It terrified me. I had to hide in my room a lot.

    As for mean commenters (aka: Trolls), just take it as a sign of your popularity. Trolls don't bother with guppies. At least that's how I make myself feel better about it. :)

  60. Gigi
    January 17, 2011 | 5:23 pm

    Well, this was an interesting read for sure.

    First because I agree with everything you say. I often feel like I am on the outside, or just on the fringes, of the cool bloggers. I have some awesomely good bloggy friends, mind you. But still, there is a separation there that I can't explain.

    I also get the whole “it girl” blogger thing – people who I cannot figure out why so many people follow them. I'd like them to bottle and sell me whatever they have.

    I wrote a post on inside jokes and blogging awhile back because that drives me ba.na.nas.

    And now, I apparently need to go tell Bossy Betty that it was not an intended affront to her that she did not make my top 50 list. guess she didn't know that I read your blog, too.
    I wrote a post about inside jokes and blogging and how they drive me bananas…I'll give you the link if you want it.

    And finally, y

  61. crazy ramblings of a tired mom
    January 17, 2011 | 5:25 pm

    The best thing about Facebook was all the people I went to high school with, that I didnt like, or wasnt friends with, that sent me friend requests. The best thing about that was I got to see how fat, and hidious all the popular chicks got. I accepted their requests just to check them out and then deleted them. If we werent friends then, I really have not interest in being your friend now. I am no writter, I just blog to get things off my chest. Because if I dont, it will slowly drive me insane. If people read it, great, if not, oh well!

  62. Jennie @ Modern Mamaz
    January 17, 2011 | 5:45 pm

    It's cool, though. You're like, so totally part of the “cool kids” clique.

    Peace out, yo.

  63. Bouncin' Barb
    January 17, 2011 | 5:52 pm

    I heard through the grapevine that Gertie was doing time in a Washington State women's prison for assaulting another female who was prettier than her. And that was after she had a facelift from a butcher job of a plastic surgeon. Now's she's uglier on the outside than the inside. Bitch. Sandra, you are so fun!!

  64. Lin
    January 17, 2011 | 5:58 pm

    I'm in the dork category—wherever that is. No matter how I try, I'm always on the outside looking in. When I try to be funny, folks are either pissed at me or they don't get it.

    I had a meanie this week at my place and it doesn't bother me what they did–I'm just wondering who it was that did it. And why. I wondered what I did to them.

    Although I never thought of it that much, we never really leave high school, do we? Bummer.

  65. ShannonL
    January 17, 2011 | 6:19 pm

    Hilarious (as always)! Yes, blogging is SOOOO high school! Why can't we all just get along? :-)

    And you ARE one of the cool kids! Look how popular you are and how many freakin' comments you get on a daily basis! Keep it up, girl!

  66. KittyCat
    January 17, 2011 | 6:43 pm

    These are all soooo true. I think I have now come accross all of them.
    But I really hate the commentators that leave mean comments. Cause I dont have my blog filtered to where I preview comments first.

    Mean people suck.

  67. Jojo
    January 17, 2011 | 6:52 pm

    If blogging is like high school, the thing I appreciate most about the difference is freedom. Freedom to delete, not visit certain blogs, not leave a comment, etc. In high school we had to be there.

  68. Constar
    January 17, 2011 | 6:53 pm

    ummmm you do realize your the cool kid right? annnddd ummm i kinda wanna join your group!! i know, i know, technically i'd be like a niner and you'd be a sophmore, which would be really bad for your rep and all, but i have awesome shoes that i'd totally let you borrow! and i make funny jokes, annndddd i have lots of skills, likkkeeee writing my name in the snow with my butt skills, and ninja turtle type skills, annnndddd party animal skills. So! can i be part of your group huh, huh huh?

  69. -stephanie-
    January 17, 2011 | 7:06 pm

    You can put this post in the “My Pride and Joys list. Loved it.

  70. Alessandra
    January 17, 2011 | 7:21 pm

    WOW, maybe I'm late, 69 comments, you rock girl. I guess you're one of those bloggers everybody reads. Cool post, probably closer to reality than we all like to admit.

  71. Jenny
    January 17, 2011 | 7:37 pm

    So true! I've found that my office is a lot like high school too. It's really annoying. Like, can't we all just grow up?!

  72. Rebecca
    January 17, 2011 | 7:44 pm

    I was always such a wallflower in school. If I happened to vanish and never return to school…very few would notice. I'm sure my presence in the bloggy world isn't too much different. What matters is that I am enjoying myself. I did and I still am.

  73. blueviolet
    January 17, 2011 | 7:49 pm

    The high school stuff never ends no matter how old you are. On the blog, off the blog, it's there. :(

    I kinda fly alone out there and so I miss all the controversy everywhere. I couldn't even tell you who's in the cliques, who are the mean girls, and who are the dorks. (other than me). No freakin' clue.

    I just know that I love reading blogs!

  74. The Queen
    January 17, 2011 | 7:50 pm

    72 comments? I'm thinking you are one of the cool kids I want to be with….. Blogland has always been that way.. Years ago I wrote a poem about the COOL kids and linked them to it..THEY LOVED IT.. and giggle snorted over it.. except the geek… He screamed out me..I GOT LAID IN HIGH SCHOOL… we became great blogger buddies and are still that way today.. except.. on twitter…

    this was a great post.. loved. it..

  75. Mrs. Tuna
    January 17, 2011 | 7:59 pm

    Hey, you can sit at the Cool Girl table with me anytime.

  76. Holly Ruggiero
    January 17, 2011 | 8:15 pm

    High school was brutal. I’m glad you finally found and outlet post for you rant on the meanie hair-cutter-threatener. Geez, I can’t believe that was happening in high school.

    I kid you not my word verification for this post is “couties” – appropriate, no?

  77. Kim
    January 17, 2011 | 8:27 pm

    It's like you're in my head :)

  78. Noelle
    January 17, 2011 | 8:34 pm

    77 comments??? Good grief!
    Teach me your ways, oh wise one.

    What kind of blogger am I???


  79. The Vegetable Assassin
    January 17, 2011 | 8:58 pm

    Hey, this was like therapy in a blog post. :) I hate cliquey blogs. I hate angry, fight-challenging blogs. I hate people who take themselves too seriously. There's room for everyone out there and there's always someone to play with. The cliquey angry guys can eff off and we'll all meet up somewhere secret with lots of Internet beer and talk about them. Shhhh!

  80. On My Soapbox
    January 17, 2011 | 9:00 pm

    If my name was “Gertie”, I would be pissed, too.

    Ah yes, high school. Why can't we all just forget those years? Were they good for anyone? At the reunions I've been to, the girls that would never talk to me before were all interested in talking to me now. Weird.

  81. Nicole
    January 17, 2011 | 9:06 pm

    I don't get mean commenters. If you hate a blog – why do you read it? Why do you waste your time? Freaks.

  82. Lisa @ Two Bears Farm
    January 17, 2011 | 9:14 pm

    Sigh. I so wish I could be in the popular bloggers group. Ah well. Bygones. I wasn't in the popular high school group either. So I guess I'm used to it. My place in life. All that jazz.

    You should totally try the muffin tin thing. It's amazing what they'll eat just because it's in a muffin tin, lol!

  83. Poppy
    January 17, 2011 | 9:36 pm

    I slept with my math teacher to graduate..who do I have to virtually fuck to get to the top?

  84. Kriste
    January 17, 2011 | 9:43 pm

    The blog world is like reliving jr/high school all over again! I often wonder just what I have to do/write to get in the A list ranks of bloggers.
    I haven't had a mean commenter yet.. I am terrified of getting one though.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. My daughter loved that you liked her comment about the stork. :)

  85. Giggles
    January 17, 2011 | 9:47 pm

    OMG so true all of it! I was the floating along neutral girl with big buns, soon to turn fat later in life…(they all do)! My boobs were more popular than I was! Had more guys friend than girlies… oh how the times have changed! Great post! You rock! Looks like you're pretty popular now!

    Hugs Giggles

  86. twilightgazing
    January 17, 2011 | 9:51 pm

    The funny (or should that be sad?) thing is I worked at a place, where my friend and I would sit back and watch a group of so-called professionals act just like they were back in high school. All of them trying to be part of the “in crowd” at the same time as trying to outdo each other. It provided a great source of entertainment for us.

  87. Saimi
    January 17, 2011 | 9:56 pm

    Well my friend, I see you have nothing to worry about…Not only do you have a great following but you score tons of comments!!

    You obviously are doing something right…Maybe If I hang out with you long enough I can pick up some good tips and be in the “In crowd” with you!!! :)

  88. Trooper Thorn
    January 17, 2011 | 9:56 pm

    What if you were in a barbershop quartet in highschool? What kind of blogger does that make you?

  89. ADoC
    January 17, 2011 | 10:15 pm

    Those high school girls are the same ones that grow up and become the PTA mom clique, or the dance mom clique, or the holier-than-thou ones…

    never ends. We'll be in nursing homes someday, and it'll still be going on. That's girls for ya.

  90. suz
    January 17, 2011 | 11:26 pm

    Great Post!!!

  91. Nicky
    January 17, 2011 | 11:51 pm

    What? There aren't any other stoner blog…I mean, there aren't any stoner bloggers? That's a shame. I think it would be interesting to read. Excuse me, my mac-n-cheese-n-peanut butter is ready.

    Before I eat, though, I'd have to say with the number of comments you get, you are definitely one of the popular girls. Is it okay if I sit at the same lunch table with you?

  92. Betsy from Tennessee
    January 18, 2011 | 12:45 am

    HI Sandra, With 91 comments, I think you are that popular gal in high school, the one I always wanted to be….

    I had never thought of comparing bloggers to kids in high school –but it does make sense. I have been lucky not to have any 'mean' comments. I did get a mean email recently –but then found out that the guy is a total NUTCASE.

    You are GREAT –and I'm glad I have found your blog.

  93. Sarahf
    January 18, 2011 | 1:09 am

    I'm trying to work out which group you think I'm in. As you now have 93 comments, does that make you the cool kid now?
    Also, how did a kid called Gertie end up being the one who kicked other kids' asses? Her name is Gertie, am I the only one that finds that funny?

  94. The Kooky Queen--Rachel
    January 18, 2011 | 1:10 am

    Well that would make you the popular girl that I want to be like! :) Seriously SO funny and true that blogging is like one big socially weird scene. That and FB. All of a sudden FB is high school but the “kids” you knew are bald and FAT! Haha!

  95. Lisha @ DeLovely Life
    January 18, 2011 | 1:15 am

    Ahhhh! Noooo. I don't want to go back there. It's not a happy place. I'm totally right there with you. Damn Gertie. But dude…what group are you in? You seem purty popular to me. :)

  96. Kimberly
    January 18, 2011 | 1:26 am

    There there my dear…come to Momma Kim. She won't write mean things on your locker…I mean blog and she will always let you play with her ;)
    PS. There's a reason why the cool kids font have Facebook. It's because they are fat balding failures ;)

  97. Jenners
    January 18, 2011 | 1:53 am

    I do believe that high school never really goes away … I've encountered it in every workplace I've ever been in.

    And I do see some similarities in the blogging world but thank goodness I've not run across a mean girl or a bully yet!!!

    Overall, my experiences with blogging have been amazingly positive and supportive. My husband, of course, thinks everyone is a scam artist or a pervert and thinks I'm nuts that I consider some bloggers to be “friends” but it is hard to explain blogging to “outsiders.”

    have fun on the journey!

  98. FreeFlying
    January 18, 2011 | 2:23 am

    I'm down with being back in high school. At least the food is better now and the teachers have to watch out for our “feelings.” ;)

  99. leafprobably
    January 18, 2011 | 2:37 am

    I was always the unpopular kid – the one with a weird band of friends who I didn't have anything in common with, except that they were also unpopular.

  100. QueenBee
    January 18, 2011 | 3:03 am

    I can certainly relate to what you are saying here.

  101. Carri
    January 18, 2011 | 4:45 am

    OK, so I'm like comment number 101, which means you're a rock star in my eyes. And you're freakin' hilarious and I always get all excited when I see you've posted something new because I don't know. I guess I like to piss myself with laughter.
    I'll be in your clique. We can drink in the back of glass and wear slutty shoes!

  102. Donda
    January 18, 2011 | 4:48 am

    I think this all the time. We are at 70 what we were at 17. Fundamentally, people don't change.

  103. JPO
    January 18, 2011 | 5:30 am

    Haha! We have to wonder when being Homecoming Queen will no longer matter!

  104. Opto-Mom
    January 18, 2011 | 8:37 am

    When I was in High School, a girl got a bad rep because there was a rumor that she ate a pineapple ring off of a guy's ding dong. I never understood why HE wasn't the one with the bad rep. Have you SEEN how small the hole is in a pineapple ring?

    I wish blogger would list the stats on how many men immediately run to the kitchen to try this, and how many women sneak up on their husbands/boyfriends while he's asleep to see if a pineapple ring will fit on his weiner.

  105. Kat
    January 18, 2011 | 9:50 am

    Very true! I never quite fit into a clique in high school and I think in the blogging world it's pretty much the same but I do try and stay away from the mean girls.

  106. cardiogirl
    January 18, 2011 | 9:50 am

    Okay, I'm starting to feel super unpopular because that spammer “Boycott American Women” has left that comment on all of my friend's blogs but not mine.

    What's wrong with my blog? Oy, I will never be the popular chick.

  107. Kim
    January 18, 2011 | 12:54 pm

    You nailed it! I've been blogging for three years and can't.seem.to.break the popularity barrier. Thanks for your visit and signing up to follow. I can't promise I'll be riveting all the time but I promise not to be like Gertie!

  108. Belle
    January 18, 2011 | 2:31 pm

    I have regualar friends on my blog and you have been kind enough to comment. When I read this I thought, “Oh Lord, have I done anything to hurt her feelings?” I sure hope not. I love reading your blog, I guess I don't comment too much because by the time I get here there are so many.

    Holy Crap, you can see what an insecure idiot I am by this, but what the hell. They always tell you to, “Be Yourself.”

  109. Sex, Drugs and Bacon Sandwiches
    January 18, 2011 | 2:39 pm

    I think I could relate your points and summaries to the people surrounding me in my office too – Scary!!

    Although, gladly I have no long locks for Gertie to cut :)

  110. Elly Lou
    January 18, 2011 | 3:35 pm

    Cardio girl is right. If the boycott american women dude shows up on your blog, you're a superstar.

    *sulks off to await the arrival of boycott dude*

  111. Mom of the Perpetually Grounded
    January 18, 2011 | 3:48 pm

    I always think of you as one of the funny, pretty, popular girls that everyone likes because you are so Not Stuck Up! Look at your following girl!

    Now I am a certified dork and don't do twitter but you are welcome to pass notes under the desk with me any time : )

  112. Bibliomama
    January 18, 2011 | 5:02 pm

    Yeah, I sort of put you in the Popular category too — you're skinny, and you get hundreds of comments. Truthfully, I was kind of surprised when you commented on my blog — and that you're nice. I love the commenter that said she's always been a dork and now she's a proud dork. I feel the same — I never quite fit in, and I still don't, but now I'm (a little more) okay with it. Not that I still wouldn't like to get skinny and have hundreds of comments. Growth comes VERY SLOWLY to me, okay?

  113. Brandy@YDK
    January 18, 2011 | 8:33 pm

    cliques are everywhere. work/school/parties/blogging. people just gravitate towards each other. I have no idea what kind of blogger i am but I sure want to get in with the stoners

  114. Jessica
    January 18, 2011 | 9:02 pm

    And just like in high school it is a challenge trying to figure out who you want to be in blog world. At least we have a little more wisdom behind us this time.

  115. Lightning Bug's Butt
    January 18, 2011 | 10:31 pm

    I hope I'm not one of the assholey bloggers!

  116. Alexis AKA MOM
    January 18, 2011 | 10:48 pm

    I'm still bitter of things that happened back then. Some people are so not right!

  117. Semi-Slacker Mom
    January 19, 2011 | 12:58 am

    Are you sure you didn't put me in the stoner group? You know obsession with Xanax.

    I've been around awhile so I've seen lots of cliques, but I did all that in high school so I'm over it.

    I do consider you to be one of the popular girls & proud to hang with you!

  118. Jess
    January 19, 2011 | 1:18 am

    I gave you an award!
    Go check it out.

  119. Deborah
    January 19, 2011 | 1:27 am


    I've run into so many high schoolers in blog world. I don't mind because there are assholes everywhere you turn. I may even be one from time to time (not me!).

    I had a run in recently that actually made me breathless because it was mean and vicious. My hubbins said, “hey, it's okay – they can't hurt you.”

    He's so right!

  120. McKenzie
    January 19, 2011 | 1:46 am

    I love this post. Love it! Love love it actually.

  121. secret agent woman
    January 19, 2011 | 1:50 am

    I have a few simple rules on y own blog. People are free to disagree with me but the conversation must remain civil. I ban the trolls (the nasty or bizarrely mean commenters). Mostly, the people who read my blog are supportive and lovely people. I am supportive in return. (Don't know about lovely but I do try to be nice.) I don't bother much with blogs where I feel like I can't fit in. I'm not particularly interested in blogs where someone presents themselves as an expert. For me, it's all about community and sharing our lives.

    (Should I be worried that the word verification is “lighole”?

  122. Kerri
    January 19, 2011 | 2:12 am

    Do you kiss your Mama with that mouth? lol :) Sorry – I just had to say that!

    I hate Facebook for the reasons you have stated in this post. At first, I would not accept any friends from high school since I had NO desire to “go back” – then slowly they somehow crept in and then all of a sudden one day I was irritated and thought, “hello – I already escaped these people once!” so I deleted them and felt much better. :)

  123. Making It Work Mom
    January 19, 2011 | 3:08 am

    The cult like status ones amaze me. There are some I read and I just don't get it. I want to get it because I think there must be something wrong with me and that is why I don't get it. But no there is nothing wrong with me, they are just not that good.
    I also feel like I kind of fell into one “group” when I started blogging, you know out of desperation to “connect”, but over the last few months I have questioned whether these are truly my “peeps”? Do I really have anything in common with them besides commenting on their blog? Sigh.
    So I have been kind of branching out, but I don't want to hurt my original groups feelings by not commenting.
    You are right this is so much like highschool. Except I have gray hair, 20 lbs heavier, and have wrinkles.

  124. Jill
    January 19, 2011 | 4:16 am

    Very funny doll. Having been to a few blogging confs and living in NYC where I get to meet other bloggers frequently, I could tell endless stories!!

    You're hilarious, and a very popular blogger whether you choose to acknowledge it or not.

  125. Amy
    January 19, 2011 | 4:39 am

    OMG this should be a book! You have done a great job! I loved it. I am now a follower.

  126. MamaKK922
    January 19, 2011 | 5:12 pm

    OMG this is so spot on. And I WANT in that group. I want my Tweets to be the tweets they will Notice. I'm on the outside looking in going look I'm as cool as you really I am. I'm not. But I want to be. It is so sad. Now I shall go think of my pathetic life and maybe tweet about it.

  127. Pamela
    January 19, 2011 | 6:17 pm

    You're totally right – everything you wrote is completely true. I used to think I wanted to fit in with the cool kids in high school, but now I realize it's all BS anyway, same as those blogger cliques you're talking about.

  128. TheBabyMammaChronicles
    January 20, 2011 | 1:53 am

    You're right! That is why they bullied you! Bitter girls not as pretty and sounds like you had a pretty awesome backpack too ;)

  129. Marla
    January 20, 2011 | 7:52 am

    Great post but geez Louise, it made me want to find Gertie and smack her on your behalf.

  130. Pearl
    January 20, 2011 | 4:53 pm

    I know what you mean with those popular, great, untouchable kids in school (they can exist in church during sunday schools too!)…I call them the section one'rs. have a great day Sandra!

  131. Pearl
    January 20, 2011 | 4:54 pm

    I know what you mean with those popular, great, untouchable kids in school (they can exist in church during sunday schools too!)…I call them the section one'rs. have a great day Sandra!

  132. Polly
    January 24, 2011 | 10:30 am

    Ive given up on a few blogs cause I was cleary out of the loop. Id much rather spend my time on the friendly blogs!

  133. The Empress
    February 10, 2011 | 6:50 am

    This post was as awesome as Gigi/a kludgy mom told me it would be.

    133 comments here. Will you visit each one? Will you read them all? When do they start to just not matter when the numbers are this big.

    Don't you find you feel just as happy with 20 as you do with 100?

    The time comes when you just can't do it all. And people can whisper about how you think you're a big blogger and too busy to get back to them…but, have they thought about what it's like to get back to over 100 comments every day??

    And still work, be a mother, and a wife?

    It's impossible to have balance when you get into triple digit comments.

    Something starts to go.

    Excellent post. I”d like to see you blog on what do do with the traffic. Really. What does one do????

  134. Emily
    February 10, 2011 | 3:22 pm

    I love your honesty and saying what so many bloggers think. Blogging is so personal – in fact, I'm willing to bet that my consistent readers know me better than some of my “real” friends. I share more here than any where else. That is stressful enough – add anxiety about how it is received or if anyone out there really “gets you” puts me over the edge some days. I found you through Kludgy Mom and will definitely be back.

  135. Rach (DonutsMama)
    May 22, 2011 | 2:56 am

    This is why I keep coming back to your blog. You're so good at being real.

Leave a Reply

Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

Trackback URL ../../2011/01/high-school-cliques-and-blogging.html/trackback