Last night, I went to a friend’s house with my husband, Wayne, and our children to celebrate New Year’s Eve.
My friend and I were very excited.
We had plans.
We were going to eat.
We were going to have a few alcoholic drinks.
And we were going to play Glee’s Karaoke Revolution.
The first part of the night went according to plan.
My friend served a fabulous filling meal, complete with spinach dip, finger foods, shrimp, chocolate cheesecake, and chocolate covered fruit.
So, plan to eat: check!
The second part of the evening, not exactly according to plan, but not a complete failure.
Her husband served us these pretty pink slushy rum drinks.
The only problem, however, was that the pretty pink drinks were STRONG. Like we’re talking take a sip, and go, “Holy Mother!” then open mouth, wave hand in front of open mouth after each sip, put down drink, and say, “I don’t think I can drink this.”
Clearly, the husband had plans to get his wife hammered, which, in normal circumstances, I’d be like, “You go buddy! Do what it takes to get some doggy style.”
Unfortunately, I don’t drink often.
For instance, the last time I had alcoholic beverages, was a couple of weeks ago, and that had been the first time in over seven years.
So alcohol and me does not guarantee that my husband will get laid.
What it does guarantee though, is that I’ll sit on the couch, watch Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Years Eve, and spend several hours saying, “What’s wrong with his face? Does he have Parkinson’s? Is it a stroke?” and feel really sad, because come on! Dick Clark was a part of my childhood.
Fortunately for everybody in the room, I wasn’t drunk enough to break into the drunken cry; you know the one, where suddenly the entire weight of the world is on your drunken shoulders, and you make a vow to move to Africa, and save the gorillas…
…and no, I have no idea if the gorillas need saving, but during a drunken stupor, it’s either saving the gorillas or building schools for the disadvantaged…and I’ve never been very good with construction, so you do the math.
So, plan to drink:…sort of check…?
However, there was still Glee’s Karaoke Revolution to look forward to.
So I say to my friend, “To the basement! Let’s sing!”
She’s like, “I’ll need a few more drinks before I can do that.”
I say, “More drinks? I’m still full from supper and the slushy drink. I can’t have MORE!”
So we sit back down on the couch and feel sorry for Dick Clark till midnight.
Below is a video of my husband, Wayne, on the drive back to our house.
Keep in mind, he has not had one single drink.
Look how much fun he’s having…yes, you can take the time to check it out, the video is 40 seconds.
I promise, it’ll make you laugh…not at him. With him.
Who needs Glee’s Karaoke Revolution when you’ve got really old music?