Getting to know me!

Hi, my name is Sandra.

Here I am…

…except in real life, I’m not as vain, tanned, toned, my boobs aren’t as big, nor do I stand around in this “spank me” pose…

In real life I will leave the house in track pants and Uggs, and do not really care if my sweater has a ketchup stain on it.
I will, however, have a mild anxiety attack if I notice in my rearview mirror as I’m driving, that I forgot to put on lipstick.

You would find me VERY different in real life.
Contrary to my persona on this blog, I’m not as much of a show-off, I don’t think I’m the best, nor do I have a concrete plot to rule the world.
My plot is still in the developmental stages.

You could actually say I’m a little shy…
…alright, maybe not shy per say, just not all loud and trying to be the centre of attention…
…alright, maybe not that either.

Maybe you could say I’m exuberant and love to laugh.
Not at you though.
I would never laugh at you.
I don’t think…

I don’t swear…
…well, I swear sometimes, but if I think you’ll get offended, I won’t say ‘fuck’ just for the hell of it.
I’ll use it in a sentence as a verb, however, as in “to fuck” or like “I can’t believe my cellphone company keeps fucking me around.”
Nothing gratuitous, though.

I hate TV.
Other than Grey’s Anatomy, Glee, Toddler’s in Tiara, and any show in which the main characters are dwarves such as Little Chocolatiers, Little People Big World, and Little Couple, you will never find me sitting down in front of the boobtube.

I am rarely seen without a bottle of Diet Coke in hand.
Can’t help it.
It’s like my coffee.
I can be heard most every day saying to my friend Jen in class, “Do you think 10:20am is too early to open this?”
I’m almost certain that there is no correlation between the twitch by my right eye and the aspartame consumption.

Mostly though, in real life you would find that I am very interested in you.
I would ask you a lot of questions.
A lot.
And I would probably preface the questions with, “Don’t worry, I promise not to blog about any of this.”
You can trust me.
Unless you tell me that you have 11 toes.
In which case, I can’t promise anything.

So here’s to meeting you someday.
I think we’d have a lot of fun.
I’ll bring the Diet Coke.
You bring the 11th toe.

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95 Responses to Getting to know me!
  1. Kristina P.
    January 19, 2011 | 5:14 am

    Yowza! You are one hot cookie!!

  2. bonnie 'Marilyn' parker
    January 19, 2011 | 5:19 am

    someone met an eleven toed person todayyy. :)

    theres nothing better than a narcissist who knows how to mind tap into other people by making them think youre interested in their answers. =)

  3. PM Taylor
    January 19, 2011 | 5:20 am

    Please tell me that photo was before you had kids.


  4. The Vegetable Assassin
    January 19, 2011 | 5:23 am

    And every one of those questions you'd ask I'd lie about. Because I enjoy messing with people.

    I don't have toned abs OR a tan. I might go kill myself now due to my crippling inferiority complex. :)

  5. Yvonne
    January 19, 2011 | 5:26 am

    I don't like diet, can you bring me a real coke? Mmmkay, thanks! Now, you make me sick! There I said it! But not in the “You make sick I want to pull your hair out kind of way! Not at all. You make me sick in a “I'm so jealous of your body” kind of way! Which is waaaay better than the first example don't you think? Me too! :)
    Thanks for sharing more tidbits about you!

  6. Mynx
    January 19, 2011 | 5:45 am

    My son was born with 11 toes. Thats about all I have to say.

  7. Lightning Bug's Butt
    January 19, 2011 | 5:56 am

    Nice to get to know you better.

    We feel the same way about Diet Coke and television.

  8. Momma Jorje
    January 19, 2011 | 6:01 am

    Very nice intro! I hope once we're on the road full time to meet lots of my bloggy friends in person. (I promise I'm not really stalking you.)

  9. The Adorkable Ditz
    January 19, 2011 | 6:01 am

    I'm kinda curious as to what kinds of questions you would ask me…

  10. dbs
    January 19, 2011 | 6:03 am

    I know someone with an eleventh toe. She drinks a lot of diet coke. Just sayin.

  11. Impulsive Addict
    January 19, 2011 | 6:06 am

    We would probably get along. Except we don't like the same shows and I don't like coke. I think I only have 10 toes. I'll count them later. Can we still be friends?

  12. Crystal Escobar
    January 19, 2011 | 6:09 am

    I want abs like that!
    You are so funny!!! I'd love to meet you and go out for some diet cokes :) yum!

  13. Anita @ GoingALittleCoastal
    January 19, 2011 | 6:13 am

    Well of course you don't sit in front of the boob tube. You lay down in front of it! Duh!

    My left eye has been twitching for weeks now. Make it stop.

  14. Sex, Drugs and Bacon Sandwiches
    January 19, 2011 | 6:14 am

    I struggled to get passed the picture… from now on I will pretend that is you and I will photoshop in a diet coke. And maybe a third boob – just for fun.

  15. SherilinR
    January 19, 2011 | 6:52 am

    what if i actually only have 9 toes?

  16. Memphis Steve
    January 19, 2011 | 6:53 am

    OK, I have no idea that is in the photo, but I think you summed things up for a lot of us bloggers in that few of us are quite as foul-mouthed, impulsive, outgoing or obnoxious as we come across on our blogs. I mean, if we were no one could stand us, but if we blogged about our lives exactly the way it really is how boring would that be, right? And for some reason I think that to write a blog you have to have an interest in others. Otherwise, why bother leaving the comments open for your own posts to allow people to interact with you?

  17. A Daft Scots Lass
    January 19, 2011 | 9:05 am

    Coke? Wot happened to the Vodka?

  18. Vodka Logic
    January 19, 2011 | 9:18 am

    I love exuberant

  19. Ashley
    January 19, 2011 | 9:23 am

    Loved getting to know you =)
    I ask a lot of questions too…personal ones, because I lack boundaries oh and I'm ultra nosey =)

  20. Polly
    January 19, 2011 | 9:45 am

    You better make that bottle of diet coke a big one, I might be an addict too…..

  21. Nicky
    January 19, 2011 | 10:44 am

    Great. I don't like sodas much, I have the normal amount of toes and I hate TLC. Which means you'd probably kick my ass if we met since you are so superfit and I have washcloth abs.

    It would make a great blog post though.

  22. Snuggle Wasteland
    January 19, 2011 | 11:28 am

    I'll bring my Diet Dr. Pepper and my weirdo magnet. If we hang out in public we'll have lots to blog about in no time.

  23. Bouncin' Barb
    January 19, 2011 | 11:32 am

    Sandra, I would love to meet you someday. You are awesome and by the comments you write on my blog, you're a sweet as aspartame!! Love ya…hugs!

  24. becca
    January 19, 2011 | 11:48 am

    hello i'm becca nice to meet you you sound like such a nice person i know we will be good friends

  25. Jeff
    January 19, 2011 | 12:59 pm

    Whew…after I finish my fainting and pick myself up off the floor I'll finish my comment :-)

  26. Julianna
    January 19, 2011 | 1:05 pm

    But I don't have 11 toes! Damn.

    And, I'm not a dance mother, so you couln't possibly be laughing at me. ;)

    I've decided though, that since we live in WAY to cold of a climate, we should meet someplace warm… like a tropical island somewhere. We could send Wanye and Almsot Hubs out to gather food, while we adjust the sattilite TV for TLC shows and drink diet cokes… with (or without) the rum. :)

    Or kids, however, should probably never meet. Could be a tragedy of EPIC proportions. :)

  27. Diane
    January 19, 2011 | 1:10 pm

    I will drink diet coke with you all day but we could never work out together. I'm afraid you'd kill me!

  28. knitwit
    January 19, 2011 | 1:27 pm

    I love you for your candor, hate you for your abs.
    The next time I'm in the 'Peg, I'll bring a diet coke. Can't make any promises about the 11th toe, but my eyes are really lopsided, so maybe you can do something with that.

  29. Mrs. Tuna
    January 19, 2011 | 1:53 pm

    Shoot if you don't know me already from my blog it's just not worth discussing. I have no verbal filter for Pete's sake.

  30. Bird Shit and Baby Caca
    January 19, 2011 | 2:05 pm

    can I substitute beer for the diet coke?

  31. Evonne
    January 19, 2011 | 2:15 pm

    Nice to meet you!

    I think most people are a little different on their blogs, but that mean they're in any way fake.

    You bring the Diet Coke and I'll bring my coffee!

    On a side note, I have a cousin with 11 toes AND eleven fingers!

  32. Elly Lou
    January 19, 2011 | 2:18 pm

    I'm not sure I have the upper body strength to lift a can of soda. So obviously if we meet it needs to be in cold weather so I can hide beneath a fluffy sweater. But I can still strike a spank me pose. I'm doing it right now. It's kinda awkward and hard to type. So I'm going to stop now. Typing that is.

  33. Jumble Mash
    January 19, 2011 | 2:21 pm

    Love this post. I kinda wish I had an 11th toe now so you'd blog about me. But since I don't, I'll bring the diet coke and some embarrassing stories?

  34. laughingwolf
    January 19, 2011 | 2:26 pm

    hey feller canuck… that'd be: per se, NOT per say :(

    otherwise, grand post :)

  35. Gigi
    January 19, 2011 | 2:31 pm

    I only will meet you in person if you agree to wear a baggy shirt and schlumpy pants.

    Because I'm not standing next to the girl in that photo. Nope. never!

  36. Shirley
    January 19, 2011 | 2:37 pm

    I think we could be friends but I'm a Pepsi kind of girl.

  37. CB
    January 19, 2011 | 2:38 pm

    Whatever bitch! I'm willing to bet you stand in the 'spank me' position rather often!!!

    I fucking hate the TV too!!! The damn thing is ALWAYS fucking on!!!!

  38. Semi-Slacker Mom
    January 19, 2011 | 2:40 pm

    You suck. If I switch my Cherry Coke for Diet, think I'll get abs like yours. Maybe that & $1000 worth of plastics.

    You know I love ya & when I come to Canada (only in the FREAKING summer) you'll have all kinds of shit to blog about.

  39. anSeL
    January 19, 2011 | 3:04 pm

    wow, nice bod you have there!
    cheers! (with a regular coke in can)

  40. Raquel's World
    January 19, 2011 | 3:17 pm

    Okay seriously, is that you? You with all the kids? I'm such a hater right now. I'm gonna go have a cupcake.

  41. Gwen
    January 19, 2011 | 3:22 pm

    I used to be addicted to diet Coke. I tried to give it up when I was pregnant the first time but I got crippling headaches. So, I carried on with the diet Coke. Near the end of my second pregnancy, I became REPLUSED by diet Coke. I know! How could that be???? I tried to pick up the habit after the baby was born, without any luck. I still (almost 3 years later) cannot drink diet Coke. Now I drink so much Raspberry Ice Crystal Light that I don't need to wear lipstick. My lips are stained red. Sigh. But I do miss diet Coke. Have one for me…especially if it's too early (that rule is for WIMPS!).

  42. Marissa
    January 19, 2011 | 3:34 pm

    I don't mind if you laugh at me. But I'll have to charge you a cover price with a 2-drink minimum.

  43. karensomethingorother
    January 19, 2011 | 3:36 pm

    Oh Sandra, you shameless thing, you, what a thinly veiled attempt at humility this was. Hee hee.
    I was just going to plead with you not to drink crap with artificial sweetener in it again, when I remembered that I can't lurv coffee without chemical whitener crap in it.

  44. Brandy Rose
    January 19, 2011 | 3:46 pm

    I'm nothing like I am in my blog except around very close friends. I don't curse, I'm the sweetheart, I blush easily…yeah. But damn you are rockin that body!

  45. Blasé
    January 19, 2011 | 3:46 pm

    God forbid that you ever forget your lipstick…

    Grey's Anatomy has got on my last nerve. Sometimes I have to watch it with the wife if I want some nightly caressing and things of that nature…

  46. -stephanie-
    January 19, 2011 | 3:56 pm

    You could have posted a picture with you in your track pants, Uggs, a ketchup stained sweater and no lipstick. Ya know…like the rest of us.
    I'm sad we'll never meet, I don't drink diet coke and I don't have an 11th toe.

  47. Big Fat Gini
    January 19, 2011 | 4:10 pm

    What? You don't walk around in tank tops, fake tans and your ass in the air? Damn.

    Also. I think you should switch your television viewing habits and start watching My Strange Addiction. Seriously, everyone needs to hear about people who eat couch cushions and laundry detergent.

  48. Linda Medrano
    January 19, 2011 | 4:22 pm

    I confess I am a Diet Coke whore too. Also, I love Junk TV. Give me some of those Real Housewives and Next Top Models. Why I watch the crap I do, I have no idea. I think we could be very good friends. Unless we hate each other on site that is.

  49. Jill
    January 19, 2011 | 4:26 pm

    You're gorg and that's all that matters hahaha.

    I hope we do get to meet. I drink coffee and REGULAR coke all day lol!

  50. Joann Mannix
    January 19, 2011 | 4:58 pm

    I can't bring the 11th toe, but one time I broke my arm and my mom didn't believe me that it really, really hurt. It turns out that old saying, “if you can move it, it's not broken” isn't really true. So I have this big knot you can feel right under the skin of my arm, and when I move it back and forth, it really freaks people out. Will that do?

    Unlike you, I am very good at f-bombing gratuitously. It's what I'm best at, but only when I'm standing just like that chick in the picture, which is pretty much all the time.

  51. MamaKK922
    January 19, 2011 | 5:06 pm

    Love this. It is hilarious. You sound a lot like me minus the Diet coke obsession. And being really hot and tan and such. But yeah. Oh and I use Fuck as a Verb a noun you name it.

  52. Patti Murphy
    January 19, 2011 | 5:16 pm

    I'd love to meet you sometime. Seriously. And if you have 11 toes, then I'm blogging about it.

  53. ~ Darla ~
    January 19, 2011 | 5:18 pm

    Ha! You are hot and a hoot. My husband would kill me if I liked the same tv programs as you (I will admit to liking a couple), but the harassment isn't worth it (lol). Love your blog, Sandra…one among many other people.

  54. Yankee Girl
    January 19, 2011 | 5:28 pm

    I always stand in a spank me pose.

    It just seems so natural to me!

    If it wasn't for Grey's Anatomy I would probably through my TV out the window….but then I would miss all the crime shows I am addicted too.

  55. A Beer for the Shower
    January 19, 2011 | 5:48 pm

    Please tell me you at least wear the acid-washed jeans…

  56. myevil3yearold
    January 19, 2011 | 6:05 pm

    Wow! We could be twins except that I am blond and…… fatter.

    Sigh.. .I want to hate you but I just can't because you make me laugh.

  57. Meri
    January 19, 2011 | 6:33 pm

    Hmmm- I share your affinity for diet coke, and the eye twitch as well… but I'm just going to ignore this information and keep drinking it anyway :)

  58. Monkey Man
    January 19, 2011 | 6:39 pm

    Who we portray on the web is lies, all lies. Except me, of course. I y'am what I y'am unless I am writing, then I am who I want to be.

    Sooo, you like the dwarf/midget shows, eh? The Little People Big World family lives not far from us. As a matter of fact, we went to Red Robin for my daughter's birthday on Monday (her request) and Ma and Pa Little People were there with feet dangling from their chairs eating food as if they were real human beings. Imagine that!

  59. meleah rebeccah
    January 19, 2011 | 6:40 pm

    HA! I also don't care if my clothes have ketchup stains on them!

  60. On My Soapbox
    January 19, 2011 | 6:40 pm

    Love the abs! How do you find time to work out when you're a student, wife, and mother??

  61. Lisha @ DeLovely Life
    January 19, 2011 | 6:50 pm

    We should totally hang out. My name's Elysia. I, too, have a caffeine addiction. I don't have 11 toes. But I do love Glee, and occasionally walk around in white t-shirts with spit up stains. I'm classy like that.

  62. KittyCat
    January 19, 2011 | 7:20 pm

    Love the 411, I think its great when ppl can get real.
    I too wont leave the house without lipstick on.

  63. Belle
    January 19, 2011 | 7:50 pm

    My daughter has webbed toes. Is that good enough?

  64. MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings
    January 19, 2011 | 7:51 pm

    I think you should give up the diet coke. It's going to ruin your figure, and rot your brain. I promise you, though, you would ask me a lot questions if we met. You'd fall asleep, bored.

  65. MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings
    January 19, 2011 | 7:53 pm

    I forgot the word “not.” one more reason why I'm dull.

  66. Heather
    January 19, 2011 | 7:57 pm

    I hate you.
    Not because you are totally hot, but because you are totally hot and you NEVER write about spending hours at the gym which leads me to believe you just naturally look like that after four kids. So now I hate you.
    Also…I do not know what parts of this to believe or not believe……. Hmmmmmmm.
    But I think in real life we would mesh. You don't work out, but you look hot….I work out..and still look like someone's mother. You wear lipstick..I never do. You cuss and I try not to lest I get grounded.
    See? Move to TExas and be my BFF.

  67. Tezzie
    January 19, 2011 | 8:01 pm

    Oh, man…I shouldn't have had that toe amputated. Seriously. (ok…it wasn't an 11th toe…just a 10th)

  68. Brandy@YDK
    January 19, 2011 | 8:13 pm

    this was a fun post. I don't think i'm quite like i am on my blog either. i'm just a tad shy in real life

  69. blueviolet
    January 19, 2011 | 8:54 pm

    Is that seriously you? Because that is so not right or fair or nice. ;)

  70. Myya
    January 19, 2011 | 9:01 pm

    Do you really look like that…i am sorry we can no longer be friends. Lol :)

  71. Coffeypot
    January 19, 2011 | 9:47 pm

    I think meeting you IRL would be fucking great. I love Diet Coke, too, and we could sit around drinking the fuck out of a case of chilled DC’s. Fuck yeah!

  72. Mamma has spoken
    January 19, 2011 | 9:57 pm

    WOW you could bounce a quarter on that stomach! Really I think you could!
    As for me, I'm the person on Steel Magnolia that says,
    “If you can't say anything nice about anyone come sit by me.”
    Hard to believe, but oh so true…

  73. Shabbygal
    January 19, 2011 | 10:21 pm

    Wow Sandra! Why do you torture us with these beautiful pics? I'm so jealous but it would be fun to meet you!You seem like a real kick in the ass fun gal! Traci

  74. Bridget
    January 19, 2011 | 10:32 pm

    I think it would be fun to meet you in real life…ya know, the next time I'm over 1000 miles away from home and in the Canada area! ;)

  75. Gigi
    January 19, 2011 | 11:21 pm

    Although I don't have eleven toes (nor do I know anyone who does) I think you and I would get along just fine! You bring the diet coke & I'll bring the wine.

  76. Julia
    January 19, 2011 | 11:36 pm

    You make me laugh!! I wish I had 11 toes so that we could meet!

  77. Carri
    January 19, 2011 | 11:50 pm

    My dad had a girlfriend with 11 toes in sixth grade. DEAD SERIOUS! hahaha He said he thought it was cool.

  78. Geekin' Hard
    January 20, 2011 | 1:23 am

    are you pondering what I'm pondering?

  79. I have my first Coke at 6 a.m. every day….and drink 6 to 8 by bedtime…sleep like a log…drinking diet is like kisssing thru a screen door…not worth the trouble :-) …love the spank me pose !!!

  80. TheBabyMammaChronicles
    January 20, 2011 | 2:55 am

    Haha, I bet you'd do a health history on me if we ever got to meet.

  81. Kimberly
    January 20, 2011 | 3:20 am

    Jaysus H Christ I could bounce a quarter off them abs. I will not lie…I'm totally jealous.
    I'll be your friend if you let me touch your abs.
    Wait…did that just get weird? I'll let you look at my MRI's. They're pretty sexy with all that metal going on in there.

  82. Alessandra
    January 20, 2011 | 3:32 am

    Cool idea telling us about you, now I feel as if I know you…really. I love DC too, won't drink anything else in that category, but the Tiara show with those mini monsters and their mothers has go to go.

  83. Sarahf
    January 20, 2011 | 3:53 am

    I would love to sit and have a Diet Coke with you. Although, technically, I quit drinking it last week. Hanging out with you would be a good excuse to start drinking it again. :D

  84. Marla
    January 20, 2011 | 7:48 am

    Well, if we do meet, I have a few questions for you. Of course, I promise not to blog about any of it. :-)

  85. Deborah
    January 20, 2011 | 8:07 am

    LOL again!! you're just a joy to read :o )

  86. nitebyrd
    January 20, 2011 | 1:53 pm

    No 11th toe but what about a 3rd nipple? Good, huh? Next time you're in FL, we'll have some Diet Coke (yuck!) and tequila. We'll talk.;)

  87. Booyah's Momma
    January 20, 2011 | 3:09 pm

    Love the glimpse into the IRL version of Sandra! I've always gotten the sense that you were a big softie underneath all that sassy hotness. You can camouflage it, but your big 'ol tiger heart shows through.

  88. The WholeFamDamily
    January 21, 2011 | 2:20 am

    maybe someday i can have a bangin' body, i'd love to be super toned like that, i never have been! i've been thin, but not RIPPED, ya know? so cool!!
    i don't really drink any soda, makes me burpy, but i'll drink one with you cuz my energy levels are LOW…and you seem way super-de-duper cool and you have a kickass sense of humor, peeps need to stop being so literal and sensitive! lighten up!! hahaha!

  89. Snake
    January 21, 2011 | 2:20 am

    Great abs! Have you seen mine? lol Ciao baby!

  90. Kate
    January 21, 2011 | 5:29 am

    Thanks for stopping by my blog! Hey…I would think we're the same person…except it's Diet Pepsi.

  91. Danielle
    January 21, 2011 | 5:41 pm

    Ummmm, helloooooo, I hope that pic was close to a show and not an everyday ab shot. If it is an everyday shot, I will be allowed to HATE you! Just saying. My norm is well lets say non of those little indents show!
    You look HOT!!!!

  92. Ginger
    January 21, 2011 | 6:25 pm

    Great body Sandra. From one coke addict to another..You are the real thing!!

    January 22, 2011 | 4:58 am

    I love the little couple. They are sooo cute! I love Jen and her personality. I know if I was to meet her in real life, I would be friends with her. And Bill….what a cutie!

  94. Sodermoto
    January 23, 2011 | 6:28 am

    You had me at Toddlers in Tiaras! :)
    Great blog… no eleventh toe, though. Sorry!

  95. Steadfast Ahoy!
    January 24, 2011 | 5:09 pm

    I love you already! Let's be friends.

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