Hi, my name is Sandra.
Here I am…
…except in real life, I’m not as vain, tanned, toned, my boobs aren’t as big, nor do I stand around in this “spank me” pose…
In real life I will leave the house in track pants and Uggs, and do not really care if my sweater has a ketchup stain on it.
I will, however, have a mild anxiety attack if I notice in my rearview mirror as I’m driving, that I forgot to put on lipstick.
You would find me VERY different in real life.
Contrary to my persona on this blog, I’m not as much of a show-off, I don’t think I’m the best, nor do I have a concrete plot to rule the world.
My plot is still in the developmental stages.
You could actually say I’m a little shy…
…alright, maybe not shy per say, just not all loud and trying to be the centre of attention…
…alright, maybe not that either.
Maybe you could say I’m exuberant and love to laugh.
Not at you though.
I would never laugh at you.
I don’t think…
I don’t swear…
…well, I swear sometimes, but if I think you’ll get offended, I won’t say ‘fuck’ just for the hell of it.
I’ll use it in a sentence as a verb, however, as in “to fuck” or like “I can’t believe my cellphone company keeps fucking me around.”
Nothing gratuitous, though.
I hate TV.
Other than Grey’s Anatomy, Glee, Toddler’s in Tiara, and any show in which the main characters are dwarves such as Little Chocolatiers, Little People Big World, and Little Couple, you will never find me sitting down in front of the boobtube.
I am rarely seen without a bottle of Diet Coke in hand.
Can’t help it.
It’s like my coffee.
I can be heard most every day saying to my friend Jen in class, “Do you think 10:20am is too early to open this?”
I’m almost certain that there is no correlation between the twitch by my right eye and the aspartame consumption.
Mostly though, in real life you would find that I am very interested in you.
I would ask you a lot of questions.
And I would probably preface the questions with, “Don’t worry, I promise not to blog about any of this.”
You can trust me.
Unless you tell me that you have 11 toes.
In which case, I can’t promise anything.
So here’s to meeting you someday.
I think we’d have a lot of fun.
I’ll bring the Diet Coke.
You bring the 11th toe.