And just when you didn’t think we could get any white-trashier…

I’ve been cranky all day.
I woke up cranky.
I was bound and determined to go to bed cranky.

But nooooooo!
My kids had to go and ruin all of that and put me in a terrific mood by sharing the 13 year old’s newest antics with me.

It would seem the boy clacs his balls.
…is it clacs?…or clacks?…or claques?…
….see I’m not even sure how this would be spelled since I’m pretty sure he’s coined the phrase.
…we should probably have it copyrighted.

Anyway, for those of you waiting in suspence as to what the boy’s newest activity consists of, it’s basically a mixture between smashing his thighs together and smacking his hand against his leg so as to make this “clacking” noise.
I guess the “balls” part comes in because while performing this maneuver, his testicles swing back and forth.

…I know…
I’m so proud…

So we’re sitting together watching fine white-trash televised programming.
He is sitting beside me with a blanket over his lap when I hear the clacking noise for the first time.
Along with this sound, my son has his hand under the blanket and his butt is bouncing up and down on the couch.

I look over and say, “Are you jerking off?”
He then has the nerve to look offended as he replies, “NO!!! I’m clacking my balls.”

…ok…you don’t believe me right?
You’re torn between thinking I’m making this shit up, thinking we should have our own reality tv show, and wondering if social services should be contacted.

Believe what you want, judge me if you must, but know that apparently, all the boys in his class go around clacking their balls.
Only, according to the almost 15 year old, who takes pride in referring to his 13 year old brother’s penis as “Millimeter Peter,” the other boys are able to make this clacking noise by shaking their pelvises back and forth…
…I know, I can’t seem to paint a thorough picture of this particular teenage bonding activity either.

My poor little Jackson, however, who has yet to undergo puberty, and as a result has yet to experience the proud moment of his testicles dropping, is unable to participate.
So he makes up for it at home by slapping his thighs together.

Ok, again, I know some of you are probably torn between believing this and/or are open-mouthed at the creativity of young teen aged boys.
Me, I just go with it.

However, in order to instill some dignity and class into our home, I say, “Stop that! It’s offensive. I’m offended!”
To which, all the kids, in unison, say, “No you aren’t. You think it’s funny.”

They’re right.
I do.

The boy, however, once again, deeply offended, says, “Why can’t I clack my balls?”
Wyatt, the one who is systematically stigmatizing the prepubescent 13 year old, says, “Because they’re too small.”
Jackson says, “How would you know?
“Because you walk around naked all the time. I see the size of your nut-sac” another example of my children’s superlative vocabulary  “I wouldn’t know you have a millimeter peter aka small penis if you didn’t put your pyjamas on right here in the living room.”

Jackson replies, “I prefer to refer to my penis as “The Four Mile Crocodile” or “The Nine Inch Grinch.”

Just to reassure you and provide proof that I do have some class, I have forbidden the boy from clacking his balls in public.
He is only allowed to do it at home.

See, I do have some standards.

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121 Responses to And just when you didn’t think we could get any white-trashier…
  1. Carri
    January 26, 2011 | 4:50 am

    OMFG The things I have to look forward to!

  2. SherilinR
    January 26, 2011 | 4:57 am

    four mile crocodile and nine inch grinch are pretty clever. but i prefer the one eyed wonder worm, personally.

  3. Kristina P.
    January 26, 2011 | 5:01 am

    I really had no idea.

    Although, in my group today, about steroids and how they make your testicles small, there was a lot of discussion about small nuts, and having large muscles, but then a small muscle. It was delightful.

  4. Jessica D Torres
    January 26, 2011 | 5:03 am

    I'm laughing so hard I am crying. I am so glad I don't have boys.

  5. anSeL
    January 26, 2011 | 5:07 am

    what the? can't imagine how it goes. I'll be shocked if my son will do that when he is a teenager already…

  6. The Mrs.
    January 26, 2011 | 5:10 am

    I seriously laughed like a retarded seal this entire post! Baby Infant Jeebes, boys are hilarious! I'm okay with only one though…lol 1 pair of balls “clacking” is good enough for me–he's only 3 so I have a while to prepare…it's bad enough that The Husband has his 'helicopter.'

  7. Belle
    January 26, 2011 | 5:17 am

    It is new to me, but I can totally believe it because I have two grandsons who are crazy.

  8. StephanieC
    January 26, 2011 | 5:19 am

    I'd love to live in your house for just a day.

    It bet it would be hilarious.

    Seriously?… Reeeally??… Seriously?

    Clacking and all.

  9. Samantha Dugan
    January 26, 2011 | 5:24 am

    My husband, whose balls have dropped by the way…does that all the time! What they hell? I've conducted a study of my male friends and their much more forthcoming wives and it appears to be “a thing” but only in men under like 55. Just what gym teacher douche or lunkhead first discovered this and how the hell did it spread? Ugh. Okay now that I've had my rant…it's funny as hell to watch.

  10. DIAPERS in the DESERT
    January 26, 2011 | 5:26 am

    LOVE IT… I always LOVE your posts… the memories of growing up with all brothers and all the wonderfully inappropriate conversations/things that were common place are flooding back to me… AAHHH maybe its not a good thing I read your blog… :)

  11. Anita @ GoingALittleCoastal
    January 26, 2011 | 5:27 am

    But can he play a tune while he does it??

    Having 3 boys myself I can't say I remember any ball clacking. Many, many other bodily noises but no clacking of balls.

  12. Nanny Goats In Panties
    January 26, 2011 | 5:35 am

    Oh. Mah. Gah.
    This….is awesome.
    First of all, I learned something today. Because I'm not a mom, let alone a mother of boys, so I don't get let in on all this good stuff.

    Also, I'm trying to imagine your boys jerk-squirming on the couch like popcorn and I'm dying here.

    But how can you clack them if you're wearing pants or briefs? I mean, wouldn't you have to be hangin' loose for this to work? Inquiring minds want to know.

  13. The Adorkable Ditz
    January 26, 2011 | 6:17 am

    Ewwww, how in the heck is that even pleasant for him?!

  14. Flying high in the sky....
    January 26, 2011 | 6:51 am

    haa..haa… you made my day… loved the way you presented the events here…. i am sure you are well aware that kids go through this self-exploratory phase and they will get over it once they get “conditioned” about do's and don'ts of life…hope you are feeling better now..

  15. sulfababy
    January 26, 2011 | 7:51 am

    OMG… dying… LOL

  16. Gayle
    January 26, 2011 | 9:22 am

    Definitely discussing ball clacking at breakfast to see if that is region specific or if the boys her in the North do it too. Love it! 'cause we are inappropriate as well.

  17. Thisisme.
    January 26, 2011 | 9:41 am

    That was just soooooo funny! I'm glad I don't have boys as well!!! Your family should definitely be made into a reality TV show!

  18. Lady Old Soul
    January 26, 2011 | 10:04 am

    *laughing HYSTERICALLY* Oh…my…GAWD, that was funny!! I think I just woke my kids up…oops. xD I have to say, the creativity of your children makes ME feel proud of them, and they're not my kids! Millimeter Peter? Nine Inch Grinch? HOLY HELL, that's funny!!! And you are awesome. ;D

    January 26, 2011 | 10:31 am

    bahahahaha…boys!!! hilarious….ahhh I miss my kids being littles now lol

  20. My SoCal Life
    January 26, 2011 | 10:41 am

    Oh my word lmao!! That's some funny sh*t, thx for sharing. My boy is 1, hope that's not around then hahaha

  21. Gigi
    January 26, 2011 | 11:14 am

    Oh dear lord – the things boys will do. As far as I know, mine hasn't heard of this and hopefully never does.

  22. Snuggle Wasteland
    January 26, 2011 | 11:40 am

    Can I send my boys to your house till they're 18?

  23. Texan Zombie Goddess
    January 26, 2011 | 11:49 am

    You can let him know that women with big boobs can clack their tits too lol!

    I had one student when I was teaching Deaf Ed who had discovered the joy of rubbing his “millimeter Peter”. One day, it was time for all of us to go to another class. My friend turned around and said, “Raj, it's time to go.” He was rubbing up against the desk and signed, “Gimme a minute.”

    We left before we could see why….


  24. myevil3yearold
    January 26, 2011 | 12:12 pm

    Good way to start my morning! Oh gosh, my 7 year old is going to do that one day I just know it. “The nine inch grinch”- hysterical

  25. becca
    January 26, 2011 | 12:29 pm

    see i'm right children are cheap entertainment that was to funny and i'm glad you have some standards and do not allow that in public. you have the best kids ever and the funniest stories. thank you i needed a good giggle. hugs

  26. Mamma has spoken
    January 26, 2011 | 12:48 pm

    They clack their balls but I'm sitting here confused? Are they naked when they do this? Are they 'free balling' in that they aren't wearing underwear? One thing is for sure, they're not wearing tighty whitees that's for sure!

  27. Canadianbloggergirl
    January 26, 2011 | 12:58 pm

    too funny! Hubby and I laughed for a good 15 minutes!


  28. Diane
    January 26, 2011 | 1:07 pm

    My two boys are 11 and 7 so I guess this is one more thing I get to look forward to in a few years! Hilarious!

  29. SkippyMom
    January 26, 2011 | 1:10 pm

    Yeah, but can they turn the lights on and off while doing it.

    Oh wait. That's the Clapper.


  30. Julie
    January 26, 2011 | 1:29 pm

    I'm thinking it's pretty cool that Mike is now almost 19 or I'd bust a gut watching him do that. You are so funny Sandra. Now this is the way to start a day. Thank you for sharing.
    Take care and have a blessed day.

  31. -stephanie-
    January 26, 2011 | 1:36 pm

    No way can I tell my hubby about this. He'll try it and never quit.

    I was kind of a crab until I read this. Thanks for getting me out of it.

  32. CB
    January 26, 2011 | 1:57 pm

    You just fucking made my day and it's only 8 am so I bow to your amazingness bitch!!!!

    And thank god I font have boys with balls or penises… Because I would have shit and died twice laughing!!!

  33. Raquel's World
    January 26, 2011 | 2:03 pm

    OMG it's not just my kids. ALL my boys clap their balls for me all the time. ANd for each other they think it's some kinda gift to make their penises contribute to noise! LOL

  34. nitebyrd
    January 26, 2011 | 2:08 pm

    I believe you. I raised a boy myself. They love their junk like fat kids love cake. Seems like their entire world revolves around their penis and scrotum for years. But then again, do they ever really give up the love affair, even at 20, 30, 50, 90? No, I don't think so.

  35. Heather
    January 26, 2011 | 2:29 pm

    Thank you for not including a video.

  36. Jan Morrison
    January 26, 2011 | 2:33 pm

    I have two boys. One is forty and one is 38 – the older one has two boys – 11 and 7. I haven't had the pleasure of hearing any of them clacking their balls. Dang. You do the good kind of mothering. Yay!
    Jan Morrison

  37. Busy Bee Suz
    January 26, 2011 | 2:38 pm

    Oh my gosh…boys are so different than girls. But just as entertaining!

  38. Brandy@YDK
    January 26, 2011 | 2:44 pm

    so i'm totally laughing at work and then my boss comes in and I have to tell him the whole clacking balls story. yep

  39. Lin
    January 26, 2011 | 3:00 pm

    lmao…boys are so weird! It seems that they never really grow out of their teenage behavior either, my husband still does the stupidest, yet funniest, things. There have a been a few times when I've had to remind him I'm not one of the guys & as a girl I dont find it “cool” at all, haha.

  40. meleah rebeccah
    January 26, 2011 | 3:08 pm

    Seriously, you REALLY should have your own Reality Television Show! I would totally watch it, and become addicted to it!

  41. The Reckmonster
    January 26, 2011 | 3:14 pm

    That's IT. I am book-marking your blog and filing it under “PARENTING 101.” I have a six year old son who has just started saying “kick 'em in the nuts” and I thought at first I should be mortified, but I couldn't stop laughing. Now, I shall throw out all of the Dr. Spock books and other crappy “parenting” books and just refer to you for learning what to expect with my son! Clacking balls? Bring it on… THANK YOU for enlightening me!!! Plus – you are wayyyy more entertaining because I get to laugh WHILE I learn! =)

  42. Bossy Betty
    January 26, 2011 | 3:56 pm

    Ahhh, the joys of boys! I know it well!

  43. Just Sayin...
    January 26, 2011 | 4:03 pm

    Lordy! hahahahahaha
    I just got a better insight to what my sister-inlaw went thru raising 3 boys all 2 years apart in age. hahahahaahahaha

  44. Just Sayin...
    January 26, 2011 | 4:04 pm

    Lordy! hahahahahaha
    I just got a better insight to what my sister-inlaw went thru raising 3 boys all 2 years apart in age. hahahahaahahaha

  45. Ashley
    January 26, 2011 | 4:07 pm

    Oh. My. Gosh. there are no words haha!! I have to ask The Husband if he did stuff like that!!! I'm scared to have boys lol

  46. ModernMom
    January 26, 2011 | 4:07 pm

    I don't know how boys walk around with those things…and wait my girls are going to date these creatures? lol Thanks for the education!

  47. Monkey Man
    January 26, 2011 | 4:10 pm

    I'm not sure what's funnier, the entire ball clacking phase your boys are going through (not a phase that hit my generation of perverts) or the comment from Busy Bee Suz that exclaims “Boys sure are different from girls”. Well, duh. Unless girls went around boob clacking. Then again, you have never talked about your habits as a teen.

  48. Heather
    January 26, 2011 | 4:22 pm

    ROTFLMAO…so this is what I have to look forward to? With 4 girls and now a boy I am a little lost and very thankful I have earned the right to pull the its time for Daddy to take care of this one!

    I love your blog and to prove it I have another lovely award for you to add to your collection! Yeah I know…but come on give me a chance, at least read it. LOL
    You are a Badass Blogger….yep I made up my own. Versatile and Stylish were just a bit boring to me!

    Hope you enjoy!

  49. apieceoflisa
    January 26, 2011 | 4:24 pm

    That is hilarious!

  50. nuttycow
    January 26, 2011 | 4:30 pm

    I wonder if “clacking balls” is the pre-cursor to “making the noise” (which numerous boyfriends of mine seem to think is hilarious) whereby men shake their hips from side to side and their dick slaps their thighs, making “the noise”.

    Men, they're beautiful things, aren't they?

  51. Big Fat Gini
    January 26, 2011 | 4:42 pm

    Totally listing these boys on eBay right freaking now.

  52. Katie
    January 26, 2011 | 5:14 pm

    Bahahahaha I have been giggling in my cubicle at work! I have passed this post along to friends because it is so freaking funny. Since I have three younger brothers I can totally relate to this one :) hahaha

  53. Angi
    January 26, 2011 | 5:21 pm

    Oh my gosh. Trying to decide if I can ask my coworker about this or if I have to wait until I get home to ask my boyfriend…

  54. Krista
    January 26, 2011 | 6:45 pm

    Oh lord. Is this what I have to look forward to with two boys of my own? Thank you for the heads up! Hopefully it's still years and years away. (They are only 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 right now and already think that farting is the most hilarious thing ever). Boys!

  55. Linda Medrano
    January 26, 2011 | 7:14 pm

    When my son was about 13, he warned girlfriends of mine who visited to be careful where they walked in the night. He said he was so well endowed that they might trip over it on the floor if they passed his room. Uh huh. Ball clacking is a new thing to me, but it has a ring (or a clack) to it.

  56. Nicole
    January 26, 2011 | 7:16 pm

    This makes me glad I only have one boy. He'll probably birng home interesting tricks, but not as soon as if he had a brother to encourage him. Maybe the girls will bump their boobs?

  57. Jewels
    January 26, 2011 | 7:25 pm

    OH MY GOODNESS! Cracking up right now. That is awesome. I have never been happier that I have no children though…lol

  58. Mama Zen
    January 26, 2011 | 7:33 pm

    Okay, you are simply not going to believe this. I have a post coming up on Friday that features the phrase “clacking balls.” Seriously. What are the freaking odds?

  59. Rebecca
    January 26, 2011 | 7:56 pm

    Yeah, well…I'm still interested in your eggchildren. Whatever happened to your 12?? year old daughters twins?

  60. Janie
    January 26, 2011 | 9:13 pm

    Funny! Boys will be boys. Might as well go with it.

  61. Melissa
    January 26, 2011 | 10:01 pm

    omg….funniest thing ever!!! you are giving me something to look forward to with my son :)

  62. Jocelyne
    January 26, 2011 | 10:23 pm

    oh my! i thought 15 yr old boys were into snapping girls bras in public/ at school! not claquing (en francais!) their balls!

  63. Roxie-Girl
    January 26, 2011 | 10:50 pm

    Now that shit is funny right thur! I'm laughing so hard I almost peed!
    We have 4 daughters, so to put this lightly…I was floored! LMFAO!!!!

    Love your blog, just found you while blog hopping tonight. Great stuff! I'm now your newest follower.


  64. Mom of the Perpetually Grounded
    January 26, 2011 | 11:00 pm

    Ha! What will guys think of next? I'm missing out on all the fun with all girls.

  65. A Beer for the Shower
    January 26, 2011 | 11:00 pm

    Cheers to the boy. Is your name really Sarah Palin?

  66. caterpillar
    January 26, 2011 | 11:06 pm

    Aaaah….they clack….new piece of information….hey…I passed on an award to you over at my blog…I hope you'll accept…

  67. The Constant Complainer
    January 26, 2011 | 11:31 pm

    I agree with some of the others. First, I don't know what to say about the clacking other than LOL and that I'm glad I don't have a boy. Second, go reality show – I'd watch!

    I appreciate you stopping by my blog too and I'm glad to have found yours.

  68. Shabbygal
    January 26, 2011 | 11:35 pm

    Oh boys! They do have a way about themselves! Always coming up with the funniest things and the grossest! So glad you have standards! Traci

  69. Sparkling
    January 27, 2011 | 12:10 am

    I'm eating M$Ms. I'm reading your post. Little shards of chewed M&Ms are now all over my screen. “Millimeter Peter,”??? “The Four Mile Crocodile”? “The Nine in Grinch”? He must be stellar in language arts! I had no idea boys talked about this kind of thing with the family. I don't know how you stand it.

    I also don't know how he can listen to you ask if he is jerking off and not be all offended that you are talking about THAT in front of everyone.

    Wow, this was certainly eye opening. And if you've visited me this week, you'll see that tihs COMPLETELY verifies what I said about why I love your blog!!

  70. Saimi
    January 27, 2011 | 12:17 am

    I'd love to be a fly on the wall in your house but as long as you keep blogging I guess I don't need to!!

    I mean seriously, your boys crack me up…I'm kinda partial to boys anyway being the mother of boys myself!!

  71. Kristen
    January 27, 2011 | 12:21 am

    My poor only boy is so deprived!However, I wonder if there is a girl equivalent? can we make noises with our breasts???

  72. FreeFlying
    January 27, 2011 | 12:25 am

    I think I just got jealous of you for having kids. You and your ball clacking boy just wound up my biological clock. I didn't even know it worked!

  73. Bridget
    January 27, 2011 | 12:36 am

    TOO FUNNY! I am so doomed the day my husband and son discover and talk about this…they talk about other inappropriate stuff all the time, but this will definitely take the cake.

  74. Sarahf
    January 27, 2011 | 12:56 am

    HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I laughed so much at this! Who knew they clacked?

  75. Carol
    January 27, 2011 | 1:30 am

    I didn't know they clacked but mine pulled on his so hard I thought he'd be dragging it on the floor by the time he was 8! The baseball coach always said hey kid need to go to the john? Boys, LOL!

  76. Sodermoto
    January 27, 2011 | 2:59 am

    What creative boys you have! I love all the names they have for their, um, members. Your life must never be boring!

  77. sounds kinda painful!

  78. Mrs. Tuna
    January 27, 2011 | 3:17 am

    Thank goodness Sheldon is a girl.

  79. The Frisky Virgin
    January 27, 2011 | 3:47 am

    Seriously–LOL–absolutely hilarious!!!! Where on earth do kids come up with these things?!

    I gave you an award by the way–it's on my blog. :)

  80. Jill
    January 27, 2011 | 4:11 am

    I am so intrigued by this “clacking.” I'm not sure fellas did that when I was in the market. Doing some research and will report back. Never a dull moment in your home is there? I love big families by the way. If I didn't live in 1500 square feet, I'd have a few more boys clacking all over the place.

    Hope you enjoyed being one of my Clever 5. That's icon status you know…

  81. Making It Work Mom
    January 27, 2011 | 4:22 am

    So I had never heard of ball clacking, but had to know if it was a national phenomenon or just regional.
    So tonight at dinner I asked. My husband almost choked on his dinner and my Golden Boy (9) said no he had no idea. Though he immediately started grinning so I am imagining that he is experimenting up in his room tonight.
    So yes my Hubby knew exactly what it was. He then needed to know how I came across the term. I told him I get around. Ha. So I showed him your blog, he started reading, at about the jerking off part he asked if you were a man or a woman, and then proceeded to laugh his way through the rest.
    I don't usually say this, but thank god I only have 1 boy!

  82. Geekin' Hard
    January 27, 2011 | 5:24 am

    Sweet mother of pearl…

  83. Pink Satin Sashes
    January 27, 2011 | 5:51 am

    you got me at your comment on my kitchen…and the the a 13 yr old to think like that!

  84. julie
    January 27, 2011 | 6:07 am

    Didn't you know? “Claque” is classy. I'm sure of it.

    Because I have a 13-year-old boy, too.

    And I have to lie to myself about stuff like that all the time.

    You had me laughing so loud my own son (who was not claquing as far as I know, but could have been because he's upstairs where I can't see him at 10:00) said,
    “What the nutsack is going on down there?”

    Ah yes. Classy for sure.

  85. Pearl
    January 27, 2011 | 7:03 am

    I can't believe I missed this entry yesterday, or was it the other day? Anyway, I was deeply impressed with your sons' vocabulary… I'm learning from them! lol…clack, mm peter, nine inch grinch…hahaha…now I know, my vocabulary is boring!

  86. Memphis Steve
    January 27, 2011 | 8:03 am

    Good Lord, when I was that age we would have rather died than have any sort of conversation relating to our balls with our mothers. Then again, when I was that age we didn't have every other TV show featuring a gag where someone gets hit in the balls, either, so that shows how things have changed since then. The boy will find out soon enough that along with his balls growing larger they will also present him with the added bonus of far greater pain beyond anything he might have possibly imagined when he gets hurt there.

  87. Sex, Drugs and Bacon Sandwiches
    January 27, 2011 | 9:33 am

    I don't even know where to start with a comment on this one… I have no male kids (or female for that matter) and you know how I am about the male species… so I think I'll just skip on out of here and pretend I didn't read it :)

  88. Nicky
    January 27, 2011 | 10:53 am

    Can I tell you how traumatized I am by the fact that I know what clacking balls is (the older version, not your 13 year old's version) and NOT because I have 3 sons but because of the man/child I live with!!

  89. Bouncin' Barb
    January 27, 2011 | 12:01 pm

    These are definitely your children. They are merely gathering future blog material. You are the best!

  90. Jo-anne *Blossy*
    January 27, 2011 | 12:12 pm

    You've made my day & I've learnt something new. I guess I am missing out on these fun things. my boys have no clue about this clacking, until I tell them :D

  91. Debbie
    January 27, 2011 | 1:06 pm

    So there are some things my 3 teenage boys have yet to expose me to. Thank you for that!

  92. purplume
    January 27, 2011 | 1:12 pm

    This is new to me. Amazing. I want to ask my husband to do this so I can figure out what you are talking about.

  93. " Hit It......."
    January 27, 2011 | 1:41 pm

    Thanks for letting me know what I am in store when my boy is a little older (ha ha). I laughed so hard. I know we will be having this discussion one day at my house. Boys are weird little creatures aren't they?

  94. acte gratuit
    January 27, 2011 | 1:51 pm

    Thanks for commenting on my blog! I think you're right and I should just use the M&M's to my advantage.

    As for the above post, I'm afraid I'm going to have to pretend I never read it. With four young boys, I just want to stay in my happy-denial-place as long as possible. It's hard though…my six year old used a fart as a weapon for the first time today!

    P.S. Can you tell me how, for-the-love!, to get 1077 followers?

  95. Melissa
    January 27, 2011 | 2:50 pm

    So I'm a receptionist and if I try to read and answer phones at the same because I might start to answer right and then say something like nine inch grinch and bust out laughing. Yeah…not to professional.

  96. wendy
    January 27, 2011 | 3:28 pm

    I am impressed for sure……..I wonder if I should have my husband read this so he can learn some new skills from your 13 year old.

    thanks for stopping by my blog. I have never been to Winnepeg.
    My sister lived once in Regina.

  97. KittyCat
    January 27, 2011 | 3:30 pm

    Just so you know I never judge.

    I think it is just part of being a man.
    They are all so “special”.

    Too freakin funny, I think I would of wet myself right there.

  98. Danielle
    January 27, 2011 | 3:41 pm

    Can I please come live with you for a week? LOL

  99. knitwit
    January 27, 2011 | 4:04 pm

    Ha ha ha! Oh man, I have so much to look forward to.

  100. TKW
    January 27, 2011 | 4:11 pm

    “The Millimeter Peter?” Oh heavens, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Off to tweet this!

  101. Booyah's Momma
    January 27, 2011 | 4:58 pm

    Who needs balls when you have a four mile crocodile? I mean, really??

  102. Fizzgig
    January 27, 2011 | 5:45 pm

    somehow im not sad at all that i am child free. especially childfree from boys with balls and their clacking.


  103. Jennie @ Modern Mamaz
    January 27, 2011 | 6:16 pm

    HOLY CRAP! They DO that?? I didn't even know that was possible! How the hell did I NOT know this?? This is very valuable information… I feel so out of the loop:(

  104. Super Happy Girl
    January 27, 2011 | 6:30 pm

    I was judging so SO MUCH, I was judging you to other galaxies and then I read “Why can't I clack my balls?” I lost it.
    I am hereby judging you to infinity!

    Consider yourself judge into oblivion.

  105. Ginger
    January 27, 2011 | 7:04 pm

    The joy of sons! To think they grow up to become fathers……

  106. Kara Hoag
    January 27, 2011 | 8:05 pm

    Gave you an award.

  107. Valerie
    January 27, 2011 | 8:28 pm

    Just about snorted brown rice spicy tuna roll out my nose laughing! They are all so proud and obsessed with that area of the anatomy – and they never outgrow it.

  108. Lisha @ DeLovely Life
    January 27, 2011 | 8:33 pm

    Wow. Thank you for lighting up my craptastic day. Four Mile Crocodile. Bwahaha.

  109. The Restaurant Manager
    January 27, 2011 | 9:19 pm

    Wow. That was so funny! Kids say some crazy stuff but your responses crack me up!!

  110. laughingwolf
    January 28, 2011 | 2:13 am

    lol… my boy kid's now 25, and i can't recall anything like that when he was a teen… your guys are hilarious!

  111. Mo 'Betta
    January 28, 2011 | 2:30 am

    Great. It's good to know what I have to look forward to with a little boy – mine is 2. He'll have to discuss clacking balls with his dad. I have awarded you the Stylish Blogger Award. You can check it out here It was prior to reading this post however. Hahaha, just kidding! Participate if you'd like and have the time!

  112. Shawn
    January 28, 2011 | 3:21 am

    See boys are to young, clacking is for kids ….. Cupping is the way to go!


  113. TheBabyMammaChronicles
    January 28, 2011 | 3:30 am

    Haha, so much entertainment. Glad they helped make you uncranky :) And I am loving school but I wish you were in my class then it would be a ton better!

  114. Joanne
    January 28, 2011 | 4:55 am

    :0o What the…is this what I have to look forward to with my nine year old? LOL too funny! Blessings, Joanne

  115. The WholeFamDamily
    January 28, 2011 | 3:59 pm

    oh my goodness. i have 4 girls, so i would never have known this, except for the fact that my husband acts like a 13 yr old boy and far too often smacks his nine inch grinch side to side on his thighs, as IF i wanted to be entertained in that manner. hmmph. ;D

  116. Roxy
    January 29, 2011 | 1:10 am

    OMG If my son starts clacking his balls I'm gonna laugh my ass off.

    This is my first visit to your blog and it won't be my last :) Funny shit!

  117. Mommy_is_Me
    January 29, 2011 | 3:45 am

    I am the Mother of a spirited little boy who is turning 4 this weekend, actually… and had tears, like a lot of them, running down my face as I read this post and laughed like a hyena while he watched Team UmiZoomi. Concerned, he came over to check on me and that sent me further over the edge. Exactly what I needed today! I have directed many to your site and I will most certainly be back! Cheers!

  118. gayle
    January 29, 2011 | 3:53 am

    Is this what I have to look forward to with my grandson? If so I can't wait!

    So so funny!

  119. Aleksandra Nearing
    January 29, 2011 | 1:51 pm

    OMG, honestly, even YOU couldn't make that up. Thank the lord above I have a girl!! But that came out wrong. I'm sure your boys are very sweet.

  120. Kimberly
    February 3, 2011 | 1:47 am

    OMG…I thought crap like that only happened at my house.

    Funny stuff. And isn't it something how boys will find ways to make new and interesting sounds with all kinds of assorted body parts?

  121. Sue B
    February 6, 2011 | 2:45 pm

    OMFG!!! So absolutely hysterical!

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