How I UNINTENTIONALLY embarrass my kids

If you are one of my regular readers, you know that many of my posts are centered around getting a laugh at my children’s expense.
If you’re curious as to what exactly I put them through, go here to read why my eldest will never look at his nipples the same way again; go here to see for yourself that sperm is indeed a topic of discussion appropriate for all meals of the day, not just dinner; and go here to find out why vulva has now replaced vagina as my new favourite word.

Yet, oddly enough, the above reasons are not those that make my kids cringe the most with shame.

Here is a list of things that I unintentionally do that embarrass them:

1. I dance in the van while I’m driving.
Not a big deal. Everybody does it, right?
But when I get my groove on and start bopping around to the beat of the song, you’d think I’d was driving around dressed like a gorilla.
And frankly, I find it annoying.
When I start bustin’ a move to the Black Eyed Peas, I do not want to hear a symphony of “Mooooom! Stop that!”
That just makes me want to stop the damn car, get out, and do my stuff on the street…might even get some coffee money that way.


image from here

2. Wearing my hair in pig tails.
According to Jackson, my 13 year old, this is highly unbecoming on me.
I take offence to that.
I think I look pretty darn cute, and quite frankly, it’s not like I’m sporting a Catholic school girl uniform.
And again, maybe if I was, I’d get money for coffee.


image from here

Ok, I could probably get wayyyy more than just money for coffee if I looked like that.

3. Wearing my Edward Cullen tshirt.
I guess it’s ok if you’re 12 years old to wear pants with the words Justin Bieber across the ass, but if you’re 40…ahem…41, you can’t have an innocent Team Edward emblazoned in shiny letters across your chest.

4. Carrying my 7 year old son around in my arms.
He’s still little, thus highly portable.
He’s my last baby.
It’s not like I’m still breast feeding him.
I’m just carrying him from point A to point B.
Yet my kids find this highly embarrassing, to which I reply to them, “If he was a chimpanzee, you guys would find this completely acceptable.”

5. Wearing a crown.
There’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t leave the house with it on my head.
I only do it while performing menial chores around the house.

6. Practicing ballet moves.
My daughter, especially, finds this ridiculous.
I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I love the feel in my thighs.
It’s not like I drop down into a plié in the middle of Walmart.
But in the privacy of my living room, I like me a little third position.

My daughter would be horrified to know that when she’s not around, I wear her ballet slippers.

My ultimate goal is to be able to look like this:

That’s my daughter. I know, right!
How can a mother resist?

Did you like this? Share it:
112 Responses to How I UNINTENTIONALLY embarrass my kids
  1. Kristina P.
    December 9, 2010 | 5:53 am

    Sounds perfectly normal. I would definitely take the Twilight theme up a notch by making your nipples sparkle. Forgive me for assuming they don't/

  2. StephanieC @ Seriously?? Really? Seriously?
    December 9, 2010 | 6:11 am

    OHMYGAWD I love the crown. I need to start implementing this immediately. For indoor chores and scooping Schultz' business in the yard.

    Also? Love the picture of you holding your son. You both are adorable.

    Finally – if they don't like the dancing, do the fake nose-pick thing. They'll be RELIEVED when you return to van-dancing after that.

  3. The Adorkable Ditz
    December 9, 2010 | 6:22 am

    Most of that stuff I wouldn't mind you doing, but you MUST burn that Edward shirt.

    I don't care if you prance around in a crown doing ballet moves and such, that's fine.

    But the shirt. As your adoptive daughter I must inform you that that is not cool.

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

  4. Kelley
    December 9, 2010 | 6:29 am

    You are hilarious! Love that crown look on you! Also, you made an EXCELLENT point about the chimpanzee.

  5. Helena
    December 9, 2010 | 6:32 am

    Awesome list. If I was your teenage child, I would be mortified.

  6. DysFUNctional Mom
    December 9, 2010 | 6:39 am

    You are SO my kinda Mama. One of my biggest joys in life is embarrassing my children. I have a Twilight shirt, now I just need the crown!

  7. Miley
    December 9, 2010 | 6:42 am

    LOVE LOVE LOVE the crown. And WTH about the ballet? So friggin what?
    My daughter just turned 7. That day was when my internal mommylogue told me “oh crap. She's too old to carry around now”. And yes, she's my baby.
    I could see the dancing in the car thing since it's in public (ish) but… REALLY?
    Your kids will thank you once they get “out in the real world”

  8. InnerFatGirl (Taryn)
    December 9, 2010 | 6:53 am

    I wore my crown to Costco this summer and the guy I was dating was appalled. You only turn 32 once and it's not like I wore the one that flashes and plays music, for crying out loud. That would have been juvenile and tacky.

  9. Cassie
    December 9, 2010 | 7:03 am

    Love the Team Edward shirt!

    And wearing a crown is totally legitimate! You are the queen of the house right?

    YOur hilarious girl, I cant wait to start following you!

  10. The Girlie Blog
    December 9, 2010 | 9:21 am

    You are such a cool mommy! I think when your kids are grown, they will appreciate a mom with personality. BTW, I jog in place when I cook. So ballet moves are okay.

  11. Diandra
    December 9, 2010 | 9:23 am

    Sounds not too bad. Besides, have your kids never embarassed you?

    (I fondly remember my older sister hiding beneath my mother's skirts, only to come out and announce to strangers, “My Mum is not wearing undies!” ^^)

    And now I am waiting for a post titles “How I *intentionally* embarras my kids”.

  12. Mamma has spoken
    December 9, 2010 | 9:37 am

    That's what kids are for! However they do grow up and soon they get you back with all the things that embarrass you. Think nothing will embarrass you? Just wait, you'll find out in a few years.

  13. Mynx
    December 9, 2010 | 9:57 am

    Now I want a crown too *pout

  14. Gigi
    December 9, 2010 | 10:59 am

    It doesn't matter what I do; or don't do; apparently my very existence on this earth mortifies my son to no end.

  15. Victoria KP
    December 9, 2010 | 11:58 am

    I must get a crown! I don't know how I've scrubbed toilets all these years without one :-) .

  16. JP
    December 9, 2010 | 12:19 pm

    Hmmm… maybe I shouldn't be driving/dancing either… usually I get the “Really?” from my 12yr old.

    And Team Edward… “Really?” I mourn for your children. But then again I wear all my Harry Potter clothes so, not really one to talk.

    And pigtails aren't embarrassing… keep rockin' 'em babe!

  17. Jessica
    December 9, 2010 | 12:33 pm

    Your daughter owns that pose!

    Team Edward!! I knew there was a deeper reason that I liked you. Me and Jacob players just don't click.

  18. Texan Zombie Goddess
    December 9, 2010 | 12:47 pm

    I dance in my car, and I love to channel my inner Latina at random times, breaking out the high attitude spanglish and chicana head bob :) . They are embarrassed now, but guess what? They will be talking about that crazy crap and laughing when they are 40! Oh, and doing the same danged thing to their kids lol.

  19. Cole
    December 9, 2010 | 12:52 pm

    Mommy dances in the car – and has been known to wear pigtails, too… We like your crown!

  20. jules
    December 9, 2010 | 1:04 pm

    The Team Edward shirt and crown are my favorites. I think I might get a crown for around the house tasks!

  21. Diane
    December 9, 2010 | 1:24 pm

    Love emabarrassing my kids in the car and I am so gonna have to get me a crown like that!

    That is an awesome photo of your daughter. That is one thing I've always wished I had done when I was younger…ballet. sigh.

  22. Heather
    December 9, 2010 | 1:45 pm

    They will appreciate it one day. My mom used to embarass me by doing hopscotch in the entryway to the mall. Wait. I am still embarassed.
    I need to get me a crown!

  23. JennyJenJen
    December 9, 2010 | 1:50 pm

    Excuse me why WOULDNT you wear a crown?? You're a fuckin princess! :)

  24. Raquel's World
    December 9, 2010 | 1:51 pm

    I rock out in the van too. And often rock pigatils and have even rocked a crown this year so Ha Ha snooty teens.
    A real embarrasing thing to do to your kids is put on some explicit Eminem or TI on your IPod while cleaning then walk around rapping every word and making gang sign gestures at your kids,,,oh they love that. Especially when you get all hardcore and know all the words. Good Times!

  25. TheUnSoccerMom
    December 9, 2010 | 2:09 pm

    that's nothin'!! My HUSBAND wears his hair in pig-tails…. ugh… totally red-face worthy…

  26. Steph
    December 9, 2010 | 2:10 pm

    I totally need a crown to wear while doing chores. What a great idea!

  27. anSeL
    December 9, 2010 | 2:20 pm

    that's a cool thing wearing a crown while cooking. feels like a princess or a Queen?
    I still carry my son, too, who is 6. I love the feeling of carrying him, and he is still a baby.
    by the way, i like your post about your boots and I decided to buy a pair.

  28. Lady Fromage
    December 9, 2010 | 2:26 pm

    Sounds perfectly normal :) I'm a car dancer myself. That's where my best moves come out!

  29. Constar
    December 9, 2010 | 2:37 pm

    HAHAHA loves it! your kids should be relieved, my mom used to drive me to high school blaring Jay-Z her fave was ” H to the Hizoo” i wish i was joking!

    and i know i dont have kids to embarrass yet, but when i get married my tiara is commin with me! and ill wear it whenever i so please lol.

    and also thats you daughter!!! holy jeez! i wish i could do that! you know i tried as soon as i saw the pictures right? lol

  30. meleah rebeccah
    December 9, 2010 | 2:41 pm

    I think you should wear your Team Edward tshirt, and Pigtails, AND your Crown simultaneously – while dancing to music in the van only to get out of the vehicle and practice ballet moves.

    PS: I think you are simply adorable in these photos!

  31. Lin
    December 9, 2010 | 2:52 pm

    Ha, I love the photo of you cooking with your crown on! That's really awesome & I dont think you wearing your hair in pigtails (no school girl outfit included) & carrying your baby boy around like a monkey is a big thing, lol.

  32. Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys
    December 9, 2010 | 2:56 pm

    Everyone knows you can't sit still to Black Eyed Peas. They are on one my daughter favorite bands. We all start jamming in the van when they come on.
    I am jealous. You have a Team Edward shirt. I need to get me one.

  33. Oilfield Trash
    December 9, 2010 | 3:04 pm

    I wish that the twilight stuff would end.

  34. Flying high in the sky....
    December 9, 2010 | 3:07 pm

    :) cute

  35. DCHY
    December 9, 2010 | 3:23 pm

    (Clinking sounds) Here's your coffee money. Embarrass them kids of yours some more. They need it. ;)

  36. Baby Sister
    December 9, 2010 | 3:26 pm

    I love wearing my hair in pig tails. I think that's totally acceptable.

  37. Momma Jorje
    December 9, 2010 | 3:48 pm

    omg, I need a crown!

  38. Ro
    December 9, 2010 | 4:03 pm

    I also need a crown.

    I want to be your child (for a day. Im 29 but who cares.. semantics).

    Your daughters extension and stance is bananas!

    Feel free to drop it like its hot when Im your child for a day.

    thx!

    Ro

  39. *LLUVIA*
    December 9, 2010 | 4:15 pm

    LMAO!!!!!
    You had me rolling!! Came here from Twitter!!! How come I wasn't following you here?

    xP

  40. *LLUVIA*
    December 9, 2010 | 4:18 pm

    Not Twitter!

    Facebook!

  41. Brandy Rose
    December 9, 2010 | 4:28 pm

    Oh the crown! I wanna crown, I'd never take the damn thing off. But then It'd get to the point I'd expect ppl to start bowing…

  42. Bossy Betty
    December 9, 2010 | 4:32 pm

    You're very cool in my book. Who doesn't wear a crown at home? Come on!

  43. twelvedaysold
    December 9, 2010 | 4:37 pm

    GIANT GASP Why have I not been wearing a crown while doing chores? This would change my outlook entirely.

  44. Yandie, Goddess of Pickles.
    December 9, 2010 | 4:37 pm

    Hahah, I love the crown. I do that sometimes. Fortunately my kids are still young enough that they find me amusing.. the dancing in the grocery stores and singing in the mall.. that will all be mortifying soon enough.

    For a while I had a headpiece from a Wonder WOman costume that I liked to wear around the house.

  45. commonplacelife
    December 9, 2010 | 4:57 pm

    If that is all you do…COME ON. It's not like you do what I do, Dance to their songs when they sing them in public!!!

    Your kids are lucky, I'd say.

  46. Thisisme.
    December 9, 2010 | 5:03 pm

    Sorry, but it's got to be Team Jacob for me!! Love the piccies of you, and love the comment about the chimpanzee. Oh well, alright, I love all the comments!

  47. foxy
    December 9, 2010 | 5:11 pm

    I like me a little 3rd position, too!
    Is that where he…..what's that?
    Ohhh….not THAT kind of position.
    *blush*

  48. MacDougal Street Baby
    December 9, 2010 | 5:19 pm

    I totally got to get me one of those tiaras! Perhaps it will help transport me from maid status.

  49. Cindy
    December 9, 2010 | 5:34 pm

    I need a crown. I'm off to Wal Mart to find one!

    I don't dance in my car (when my son is with me but??? why not??)

    but I pretend figure skate in my socks on the wood floor, I wear the most non matching outfits at home, okay everywhere, and I carried my teenager until last week. (just kidding but I know he was at least 7…he was tiny too)

    I was going to try and grow up a bit and let my 2 year old walk like a big man way before his older brother but I find I miss it.

    their only chimpanzees for a short window!

    aaaahhhh, to enjoy life!

    pig tails rock! I'm 40 too!

    xo

  50. CkretsGalore
    December 9, 2010 | 5:50 pm

    I don't have a tiara but I have a head band that is skulls and red roses that match my Apron!!

    You're daughter is beautiful! As if you didn't know that. ;)

  51. Uninspired Blogger
    December 9, 2010 | 5:53 pm

    I can see how this would embarrass you kids, but honestly, I think it's just brilliant. You like to have fun and why not, you should!

    I love dancing the car while driving! My sister and I start singing at the top of our lungs and we have a blast doing it.

    You're a pretty cool mom I'd say. I hope to be that cool and that kind of crazy when I grow up :)

  52. Bouncin' Barb
    December 9, 2010 | 5:55 pm

    Maybe that's why my son doesn't want anything to do with me. I didn't do these things when he was growing up. Hahaha. you are soo funny Sandra.

  53. Jessica
    December 9, 2010 | 5:57 pm

    I think if you just go balls to the wall and wear the crown + teeshirt + pigtails while busting a move, they will be SOOO embarassed, they won't notice when you just do one of those things. ;)

  54. Lindsey
    December 9, 2010 | 6:23 pm

    Adding a crown to my Christmas list. And, I'm glad I'm not the only mommy who likes to sport pigtails once in a while.

  55. Holly Ruggiero
    December 9, 2010 | 6:31 pm

    Okay.
    1. They should be happy you’re still mobile and fun.
    2. Hey, if hubby likes it – ‘nuff said.
    3. Would they rather it be for the other guy?
    4. Hey, he’s your baby – ‘nuff said.
    5. Um, when do they think you should wear it? When you pick them up form school?
    6. I still tap dance around the house.

  56. kimert
    December 9, 2010 | 6:33 pm

    Love it! And now you have me convinced I need a crown. It sure would make doing household chores more “fun.”

  57. wanderingmenace
    December 9, 2010 | 7:03 pm

    I love the tiara!!!
    Such a great way to make household chores more fun. Besides, if you weren't embarassing your children, you wouldn't be a true mother. It's all part of the rite of passage, or at least that's what mine tells me…

  58. Pragmatic Spector
    December 9, 2010 | 7:37 pm

    Wow your daughter can do en pointe at 12? Very impressive! I can very well say she has a future in the dance field. Although I think it's absolutely cool you're doing that stuff that embarrasses your kid, i have to be honest and say if I were them I might a.) not care or b.) actually feel embarrassed.

  59. Rebecca
    December 9, 2010 | 8:07 pm

    Embarrassing my kids is my reward for feeding them at all hours of the night and cleaning up barf all hours of the night and ….well, for taking care of them for the first years of their lives…….I told them that one day there would be pay back!

  60. Kimber Leszczuk.
    December 9, 2010 | 9:19 pm

    I love embarrassing my kids too it is so much fun!

    The crown is fantastic. I made a cardboard one with glitter but the real one is so much better!! LOVE IT!! It says “The Queen of Kindness” on it – I wear it when they are driving me crazy to remind them that I am not going postal on their butts!

    The dancing in public thing is a blast. Singing loudly is fun too. :)

    Thanks for putting links to previous posts in here too – they were fun ones I am glad that I didnt miss!

  61. Nicole
    December 9, 2010 | 9:29 pm

    I only wear a crown when it's my birthday. And then it's actually a tiara, not a crown. So I'm totally not embarrassing to my kids.

  62. Monkey Man
    December 9, 2010 | 10:04 pm

    I don't usually regurgitate while reading blogs, but you really got to me on this one. A mini-van? Team Edward? Carrying your seven year old like a monkey (okay, I like the monkey reference….I know, chimps are apes. but I still put them all in the same basic category).

    The pigtails, car dancing and tiara. I am with ya. My preference for embarrassing the kids is to sing along with Musak in grocery stores. They hate it. I love that they hate it.

  63. Kimberly
    December 9, 2010 | 10:07 pm

    I rock out in a team Charlie shirt including a mustache emblazoned on the front. Boom.

  64. Myya
    December 9, 2010 | 10:11 pm

    My kids would think you were super cool!
    Your daughter… WOW!

  65. Bridget
    December 9, 2010 | 10:26 pm

    Perfect! We embarrass our kids and don't even have to work at it. I am so finding a crown to do housework in…somebody needs to appreciate what I do, even if it's me ;)

  66. A girl needs 2 Talk
    December 9, 2010 | 11:21 pm

    I love that pose from your daughter! Cool! You're getting there, I know it. :)

  67. becca
    December 9, 2010 | 11:41 pm

    you sound very normal to me and we all should wear our crowns more often aren't we the queen of the castle

  68. bluzdude
    December 10, 2010 | 12:12 am

    If the kids don't get off your back, threaten to pick them up from school, wearing the crown.

  69. Sparkling
    December 10, 2010 | 12:45 am

    a) if you would wear the crown and dance your butt off at the next red light, I swear I'd find out where you live and follow you just so I could throw you coffee money

    b) I always thought 3rd position was the dumbest one. All the others make sense. BUt third- it's not simple like 1st, wide apart like 2nd, not out in front like 4th, tight and secure like 5th. It's like the red headed step child of ballet steps.

    c) between the Uggs you wear and the fact that I now know you're one of those mothers in love with Twilight, I seriously have to rethink my obsession with you. If you even once put on a pair of jeggings and admit it, I swear we are THROUGH!

  70. Julianna
    December 10, 2010 | 12:47 am

    Now I want a tiara. Course Almost Hubs would probabbly make me wear it for THAT “menial” task as well… *giggles***

  71. Sparkling
    December 10, 2010 | 12:48 am

    Oh, and can you please explain what the heck your daughter is wearing on her nether regions??? Is it a skirt? Shorts? Panties? A ballet thing? I danced for a very long time but never wore something like that…

  72. Sara @ Domestically Challenged
    December 10, 2010 | 1:23 am

    If those things are an issue? I'm in trouble!

  73. Jill
    December 10, 2010 | 1:53 am

    I'm Team Edward too.

    Your littlest looks just like you!

    And yes, your daughter? MY GOODNESS!

    I find you totally rad!

  74. Two Normal Moms
    December 10, 2010 | 1:56 am

    I.LOVE.THE.CROWN!!!! That is awesome. I think I need to get one of those for household chores!
    -Ally

  75. Carri
    December 10, 2010 | 2:32 am

    HA. I can't wait to “unintentionally” embarrass my kid! I must find myself a crown and gorilla suit!

  76. TheBabyMammaChronicles
    December 10, 2010 | 2:39 am

    Haha! Nope, I love all those things! Particularly the crown, I must get one. And you're daughter's impressive.

  77. Lin
    December 10, 2010 | 2:40 am

    I do all those things as well, PLUS more “embarrassing” things like singing when they play Rock Band and singing the wrong words to their cool hip music. It makes their friends laugh and my kids cringe. BINGO! It's my little get-even for all those years they embarrassed me.

  78. Alessandra
    December 10, 2010 | 2:59 am

    And I thought I was the only one busting a ballet position at home. Glad to know, I'm not alone. I'm really liking the crown thing, and your son is way cute.
    I wish I had kids just so that I could embarrass them like you….

  79. Yvonne
    December 10, 2010 | 5:03 am

    LMAO! You're hilarious!!! Don't stop making your kids cringe, they'll appreciate it when they're older! -Yeah right! hahaha

  80. Amber
    December 10, 2010 | 5:43 am

    I think I need to get myself a crown to wear while doing housework. It's so inspired!

    Thanks for the laugh. :)

  81. Poppy
    December 10, 2010 | 5:53 am

    I'm pretty sure I will be carrying around my 6 year old until she's 45since my 3 year old outweighs her. Isn't that part of the reason we had kids? (or at least not abort them) Solid gold entertainment.

  82. Joanna Jenkins
    December 10, 2010 | 7:17 am

    I say go for it! And your daughter is beautiful.
    Cheers, jj

  83. anymommy
    December 10, 2010 | 7:27 am

    Aw, I can barely resist her and she's not mine. I've just met you and I can't resist you!

    (PS, I have those gray uggs and I love them.)

  84. Lightning Bug's Butt
    December 10, 2010 | 7:36 am

    Good thing you're Team EDWARD and not JACOB. I almost had to stop reading you.

  85. Helga
    December 10, 2010 | 8:35 am

    Oh, I love it!!! I want a tiara to wear around the house when I do chores!!!! I embarrass my kids too, no matter what I do they are always embarrassed of me :( My son just realized that his mom has a cool taste in music….I listen to all the stuff he listens to pretty much and I listen to all the stuff he is just realizing!

    I dance around my house and in the car. I tell them I love them every time I get off the phone with them and when they leave my house. Such an embarrassing mom!!! If only they knew how embarrassing my step dad used to be!!!

  86. **** April ****
    December 10, 2010 | 12:45 pm

    You might be embarrassing but youre also teaching them a very omportant thing…. not to take life so seriously…. amd even more importantly… age is just a number, have fun!

  87. Pennie
    December 10, 2010 | 1:45 pm

    As a fellow 40-something let me tell you that I not only find your behavior perfectly normal, but altogether MILD!
    They should be kissing your feet that you do not feel the need to be wearing the same fashions that they do…there are plenty of 40-somethings wearing things too tight and skimpy…
    now, wouldn't that REALLY be embarrassing???
    For everyone???

    Tell them to count their blessings. Things could be worse.

  88. Courtney
    December 10, 2010 | 1:45 pm

    Hysterical. I loved every word and am proud to say, I bust a move in the car, wear pig tails upon occasion, am shamelessly in love with Edward Cullen and will be picking up a crown today to wear around the house.

  89. Debbie
    December 10, 2010 | 2:07 pm

    I love the whole tiara/crown idea and frankly I'm embarrassed that I haven't been doing that. Thank you for inspiring me.

  90. carma
    December 10, 2010 | 2:31 pm

    The chimpanzee theory makes perfect sense since he is still little. I'm looking to find someone to carry me around.

  91. Deborah
    December 10, 2010 | 2:34 pm

    Hey! It's good for them to get a bit embarrassed. Good practice for when they get married!

  92. lisleman
    December 10, 2010 | 3:58 pm

    In the van dancing tune “I Gotta Feeling” ??? that's a favorite
    I wonder if the crown thing would work for getting our daughter to clean the place more.

  93. Krysten @ After 'I Do'
    December 10, 2010 | 4:00 pm

    Maybe it's lucky I don't have kids yet because I definitely do some of these…

  94. Jennie @ Modern Mamaz
    December 10, 2010 | 4:29 pm

    Two things.

    First, I will be buying myself a crown this weekend.

    Second, this is NOTHING. You are only a little bit embarassing. But then again, I've only got MY mother to compare it to.

    Nevermind, you're screwed

  95. amyblam.com
    December 10, 2010 | 4:45 pm

    For years I have worn a tiara, a feather boa, pj's and heels around the house. Just for fun. And while working on chores.
    I dance in the car all the time but bratchild usually just joins in.

  96. McVal
    December 10, 2010 | 4:45 pm

    LOL! That 3rd position looks like you're telling your kids where to hang their coats they've thrown on the floor or where dinner is.
    I embarrass my kids too. Like when I told a girl to introduce my son to her mom, so he could finally take the girl out on a date. oops. That's not appropriate!

  97. jojo
    December 11, 2010 | 12:35 pm

    I car dance when ever the groove hits me, the kids have been desensitized by years of it!

  98. Ami
    December 12, 2010 | 7:24 am

    You need to wear the tshirt, the crown, the shoes… all of it.

    And carry the kid, too.

  99. Jillian
    December 12, 2010 | 8:06 am

    I teach high school and often make comparisons to chimpanzee's. They don't seem to fid it nearly as amusing as I do. Damn kids….so touchy.

  100. Tinalicious
    December 12, 2010 | 9:35 am

    You had me at Team Edward. Just sayin. But really, I think pigtails are every girl's prerogative…bustin a move with your kids in the car should be a mandatory mom move all over America…carrying your 7-year-old-is perfectly acceptable in my book…wearing a crown while performing menial chores is brilliant (and is making me add “tiara” to my Christmas list right this minute!)….ballet moves would be great exercise, so bravo there. And, uh, the Team Edward Shirt? Wear it. And wear it proudly.

  101. Shabbygal
    December 12, 2010 | 11:17 pm

    I loove the pigtail thing too! I also love how ballet moves make my legs feel. In my ballet days I had rock hard legs. Sadly not so much anymore. You do what you want Sandra the kids will someday appreciate your zaniness I promise! Mine do! Traci

  102. Ms. Moon
    December 13, 2010 | 5:38 pm

    Only one of my all-grown children is still embarrassed by me and I find this hysterical. When I'm in a store with her, HOLDING HER SON and I start to dance with him to the Muzak (and what the hell is wrong with that?) she goes, “Maawm!”
    Like, “Stop that or I'm going to die.”
    Cracks me up but I'm a loving mother so now I just dance when her back is turned.
    “WERE YOU DANCING?”
    Who, me? Of course not.

  103. Aleksandra Nearing
    December 19, 2010 | 1:37 am

    OK go tell your daughter she has glorious legs. She rocks. And you do, too, carrying your adorable 7 year old around. Thought damned, Lily at 3 seems heavy to me…you mean I have 4 more years?! WTF?!

  104. Pearl
    January 12, 2011 | 5:27 pm

    hi sandra! this is my first time to stumble, then browse, then (addictingly) read in your blog. i am now your gazzilionth follower, and will link your blog to mine, so that i could check your entries everyday…your blog was recommended by my bff ansel from allness world.
    i find your ideas hilarious! i like reading about your kids. love your family!:-) thanks for sharing your stories.

  105. The Onion
    February 21, 2011 | 4:21 am

    My kids find me highly embarrassing as well, but I don't care. I remind them that I am NOT the Mom at school wearing a sweater emblazoned with a black Scottie dog on it and the bad bangs. I told 10 year old Sweet Baboo that I am very hip and cool. She replied that the fact that I use the phrase “hip and cool” proves that I am neither. Harrumph.

  106. Tracey Axnick
    February 22, 2011 | 2:01 am

    Absolutely hysterical. LOVE the crown. AND the Team Edward shirt (I am SO Team Edward, much to my 13 year old daughter's eternal chagrin…) And then when I ask her if she finds “Sam” on “Glee” hot, she looks at me like I've lost my mind. Ah, such fun. :)

    My 14 and 13 year old live in a perpetual state of embarrassment, thanks to me. I forever say: “To my children, I am a source of Funding, Transportation AND a source of Embarrassment.”

    So be it. :)

  107. Stephanie
    February 23, 2011 | 4:20 am

    Hehe. I'm not even sure why this needed to be posted. In whose household ISN'T this all normal?? lol

    You crack me up.

  108. Lemons Don't Make Lemonade
    February 25, 2011 | 10:50 am

    Okay, so I guess these can be pretty embarrassing if you have a parent like that, but I find it adorable. (:

    The most embarrassing thing my dad ever did was to tote my picture around in his wallet, showing it to random people and proudly crowing that “this is my girlfriend.”

    Oh wait, no. I think the time when he called me “little pumpkin” in front of my friends…that's the worst.

  109. ____j
    April 22, 2011 | 10:24 pm

    I LOVE the crown idea. I should definitely make my husband buy me one.

  110. renegademothering
    May 1, 2011 | 4:59 am

    OMG you do ballet moves!? YAY. Just YAY. So do I. I love them. I'm graceful. Fucking GRACEFUL.

  111. Mummy
    May 22, 2011 | 9:53 am

    Shops here are closed on Sundays so can't get my hands on a crown today. Darn. Will have to wait til the morn' :-)

  112. Bombchell
    June 20, 2011 | 5:24 pm

    LMAO!! it wasnt that bad until i hit team edward, and it was a downward spiral

Leave a Reply

Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

Trackback URL ../../2010/12/how-i-unintentionally-embarrass-my-kids.html/trackback