This is the post where I will say the word vagina alot

I grew up in a home where the word sex was never uttered, much less openly discussed.
When it came time for me to learn about where babies came from, my mother gave me a book with images of a cartoon man and woman cuddling together naked.
This was referred to as “love making.”

Ok.
So I have my own kids.
I have raised my children in a very open and honest environment.
My kids know that you can’t get pregnant from kissing while wearing a bathing suit.

I don’t expect very much back-up from Wayne in this particular department because the poor guy grew up in a home where body parts were whispered, for example, “Jennifer fell on the ice and bruised her tailbone!” so I don’t expect him to be very comfortable with the word vagina.

As a matter of fact, when the word is brought up, for instance when I was pregnant with my fourth and the other three wanted to know where the baby was going to end up after his travels down the birth canal, I, of course, told them “the vagina.”
Wayne, of course, had to buffer the truth with, “Yup, he’ll come out wearing a backpack and night vision goggles. It’s dark in there.”

I, however, use every opportunity that presents itself to talk to my kids about sex, the importance of waiting until they are ready (which I inform them won’t occur until they’re in their mid-20s…yeah, not so honest on that front…whatever…) and I’m all about preaching the necessity of safe sex.

A couple of years ago during one of my nursing courses, I was flipping through the pages of the textbook when my son came and sat next to me.
Of course, he spots the page on which a giant penis is featured with genital warts, exudate coming out of the tip (that’s a pretty word for pus,) and the man with said-penis is frowning.

My son’s eyes pop out of his head.
“He doesn’t look very happy!” he says.
“He’s not,” I reply.
“Why?”
“Because he had unprotected sex with a skank,” I reply.
“A skank?”
“Yes, that’s a woman who sleeps with many men, and doesn’t bother to use condoms.”

Son is silently flipping through other pages on which are other penises and vaginas with lesions, open sores, and deformities, all results of sexually transmitted diseases.

I’m not snapping the book shut because this clearly is a learning opportunity.
This is the kid who will most likely be experimenting earlier than the others…sigh…yes, it’s the little porn surfer I know right, how many more times can I shamelessly plug this post?

The moment is productive.
I preach the importance of wearing a condom at all times.

“Never believe a woman when she tells you she doesn’t want to use the condom because it doesn’t feel the same. It’s been proven that condoms do not affect penile sensitivity,” I say.

He says, “Well, what if I can tell that she doesn’t have any warts or bumps on her vagina?”
“You can’t tell,” I explain. “And if she has Herpes,” and yes, he was briefed on Herpes and its lifetime residual effects “you can’t tell if she’s not in the midst of having an outbreak.”

The boy is staring at the picture of the Herpetic vagina.
“So you can’t tell when it’s like that?” he asks.
“No. Her pubic hair will hide these anomalies, and you’ll think it’s all good, and you won’t want to wear the condom, so you’ll believe her when she tells you she’s fine. Then the next thing you know, your penis will fall off.”

GASP!

I continue to say, “I’m just kidding. It won’t fall off.”
But now the visual is there, so my job is done.

Ok. So that was two years ago.

Many more conversations on childbirth, sexual orientation, and even sexual positions have occured since the whole scary-looking vaginas and penises lesson.

The other day, my 11 year old daughter is complaining about having to get one of her vaccinations.
I’m like, “Zoe, it’s a tiny little pinch. It’s not a big deal. I had four babies come out of my vagina, you can handle one needle.”

Jackson pipes up, “Mom! Why do you always have to use the word vagina?”
I say, “What’s the big deal? It’s a body part. If I had said, “I had four babies come out of my armpit!” would you have objected?”
He says, “No! Because armpit is not vagina.”
“I don’t get the big deal. It’s a vagina. I have one…”
“Yes, I get!” He’s  plugging his ears, but you just know he’s waiting to hear what other gems are going to come flying out of my mouth.

Of course I don’t disappoint, I start singing, “Vagina vagina vagina vagina!” I never claimed to be terribly mature.

Today in class, we had a lecture from a sexual counsillor who deals with sexual needs of patients who have undergone cancer treatments.
At one point, the prof says something related to the vulva.
She says, “I really like the word vulva. It’s been my new favourite word of late. Actually I look for every opportunity to use it.”

Needless to say, “vulva” is now my new favourite word.

Never fear, I will also find plenty of opportunities to use it, and before the end of the week, my son will be wishing “vagina” would make a resurgence.

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100 Responses to This is the post where I will say the word vagina alot
  1. erica
    November 30, 2010 | 2:36 am

    Haha. I love your post. I have always hated when parents give weird names for body parts to avoid saying what's anatomically correct. It makes those words seem unnecessarily dirty.

  2. Kelley
    November 30, 2010 | 3:07 am

    I am going to have that weeping p—– (rhymes with Venus) in my head for days! I need to so grow up. I have 6 balls bouncing around this house and I can't bring myself to call their private the p—- (rhymes with Wenis). I hate that word! And if I ever heard my dad chanting it, I would absolutely impale myself on the nearest large, pointed stake or a straw. I'd make it work.

  3. A Daft Scots Lass
    November 30, 2010 | 3:14 am

    My 7 year old daughter giggled uncontrollably when I mentioned The Vagina the other night. I said "What's so funny?". She said "You said Vagina". I said "Well its a body part like all the rest, like elbow or eyeball". Whats all the giggling about?

    I guess it being a "Private Part" makes 7 year old girls giggle?

  4. Ginger
    November 30, 2010 | 3:16 am

    Yay to Penises, Vaginas and Vulvas!!! I am saving this post/lesson for my future kids. You are doing a terrific job Sandra. Jackson is going to be such a great peer educator in school.

  5. Blasé
    November 30, 2010 | 3:46 am

    I don't have a comment, I just saw the word Vagina and naturally here I am.

  6. Myya
    November 30, 2010 | 4:17 am

    Seriously, you never disappoint! Oh how I wish we lived in the same town. I would request playdates! yeah yeah yeah so our kids aren't the same ages but whatever mine could follow yours around while we chit chatted!

  7. Meathead
    November 30, 2010 | 4:31 am

    Vulva vulva vulva.
    That's what my nine yr old son calls the hangy ball in the back of his throat. UVULA son. U.V.U.L.A.

    But I don't correct him. Nothing beats a trip to Walmart when my son says really loud, "Mom? My vulva is sore. Can we get some medicine for it?"

    Good times!

  8. Lightning Bug's Butt
    November 30, 2010 | 5:24 am

    No way I'm saying "vagina" around my daughter. Or even my wife!

  9. Thisisme
    November 30, 2010 | 5:54 am

    Another hilarious post to keep us smiling!!

  10. MacDougal Street Baby
    November 30, 2010 | 6:32 am

    A mother after my own heart. When one of my kids undermines something I'm doing or saying I casually remark, "Don't forget, you came out of my vagina." It's usually shuts them right up.

  11. @ly
    November 30, 2010 | 6:56 am

    Love this. I have had very frank discussions with my boys but whenever I do bring it up….they say, OK, OK, that's enough….STOP! But….I continue. Better to tell than not to tell!!

  12. Cinner
    November 30, 2010 | 6:58 am

    Love your post, I think your doing a great job. take care….

  13. Sarah @ Cole's First Blog
    November 30, 2010 | 7:26 am

    I'm sending Cole to you when time for the sex talk rolls around – you should offer some kind of seminar!

  14. Heather
    November 30, 2010 | 7:32 am

    Isn't it funny how a normal more than everyday used body part can cause so many personal discomfort (emotionally)?

    With 4 daughters in the house (son isn't quite there yet at 2) we have to be open and honest about the world and life. Not saying words like vagina and penis is like being dishonest. What will you call it when you go to the Doctors office? You will look pretty ridiculous if you giggle then…at least thats what I told my oldest last time she shied away from the use of vagina.

  15. Jessica
    November 30, 2010 | 8:10 am

    Once my son reaches some undecided age I hope to be totally honest with him about everything. Including the better decisions I wish I had made in my youth. P.S. My hubs hates the V word.

  16. InnerFatGirl (Taryn)
    November 30, 2010 | 8:17 am

    Oh geeze. I never had a sex ed talk with either one of my parents. My only exposure to it was through a Catholic school sex ed class called "Gifts and Promises."

    I am surprised I ever figured anything out.

    That being said I love the worrd vulva too, and all other proper words for the reproductive system, although I've been told the proper words aren't exactly sexy in the ole sack.

    Whatever, I think vas deferens is very underrated.

  17. Anita @ GoingALittleCoastal
    November 30, 2010 | 8:30 am

    Exudate. Hmmm, you do learn something new every day!
    I have always been the one to use the correct word for body parts. And use them freely I did. My kids were always so thrilled. But my 3rd son seems to have gotten immune to a lot of it and now has joined me at the dinner table using the word vagina, and lately testicles, to drive my husband nuts. Good times!

  18. Portia
    November 30, 2010 | 8:35 am

    Love it! Sex was never discussed when I was growing up, either. We were very open about it here so my kids were not in the dark. My mother was appalled because she said that if we talked about they would want to "do it." News flash, they'll want to "do it" if we talk about it or not!

  19. Jana@AnAttitudeAdjustment
    November 30, 2010 | 8:37 am

    Vagina is not a dirty word! Good for you to not be afraid of using it. In fact, it's quite a magnificent organ, is it not?

    Although I would convince your son that men can be skanks, too. There are not enough (if any) words to condemn the male gigolos of the species.

  20. Mamma has spoken
    November 30, 2010 | 8:58 am

    Yea, I'm the same type of parent too. Open, honest, answer all their questions about body parts and sex so that they were well imformed. Now they are adults and they have a tendency to tell me about some of their 'adventures' I keep telling them they are too young to have sex. Now I wish I had kept somethings secret because mamma doesn't like hearing about some weird ass things that they have found or (hope not) done..

  21. SSW
    November 30, 2010 | 9:06 am

    I love that there are more moms out there that are so frank about sex….My boys are probably traumatized from all birds and bees talks at every possible opportunity….

  22. Raquel's World
    November 30, 2010 | 9:14 am

    In my post today I tell a story about my three year old giving her class a lesson on the use of her vagina. Funy stuff. I agree with using he proper names but sometimes it can come back to bite you in the vagina.

  23. jess
    November 30, 2010 | 9:16 am

    my family did not discuss vaginas and the like openly until i was in my 20's. my "talk" was a book, and that was about it. then all of a sudden everything became vagina this, penis that, dildo, dildo, dildo. and i'm like "uuh, this is making my loo-loo uncomfortable" :P
    of course on my blog? i have no problem talking about my "private" parts. weird, right?! :P oh well.

  24. FatAngryBlog
    November 30, 2010 | 9:41 am

    Great post!

    Hubs isn't keen on the way I explain things to the kids some of the time but I've always taught Son the proper words.

    I think that's because I grew up in a household where I learned that "down there" is not to be spoken of.

    Which lead to bad things that don't need to be relayed in a comment on your blog.

    I think all parents should be educating children to use the proper words for their parts because it helps protect them.

    If you can use the right words and talk about things, then your kids are safer as kids because they know it's OK to talk to their parents about everything and they are safer as young adults when they begin to explore the world of sex.

    Great post!

  25. Penny
    November 30, 2010 | 10:06 am

    My mother taught me nothing, except for these gems:

    1) Women never actually have to shave and if you do, the hair will grow in more. (my mom was half American Indian…American Indians have no body hair…hello)

    2) If you ever get a yeast infection, it is because you have done something very wrong and that something is punished by itching and pain and is always your fault. (Yes, I believed it, had no reason not to. Imagine the look on the first Gyno's face when I actually asked him about that.)

    3) You never get cramps when you have your period. Women say that to get out of working. (I had cramps and bleeding so severe my doctor put me on birth control pills. My mother hid them at the pharmacy and told me that now I was a whore. I never had sex until I was 19. Some whore.)

    4) Morning sickness is fake and doesn't happen. (When I was preggo with daughter #1, I told my mom I was sick during the day. She told me it was all in my head. How surpirsed I was when I threw up my entire pregnancy with daughter #2.)

    I loved my mom, but she was seriously fucked up. I'm just saying.

    \IiiI

  26. anSeL
    November 30, 2010 | 10:08 am

    sandra, you really rocks!
    i salute you!
    you don't have to names private parts with weird names. there's nothing wrong with it.
    my kids knew this words also even in our own language to.
    and what's their reaction when i told them where do babies come out? i told them 2nd daughter and son came out from tummy (C-section) and eldest came out from vagina… their response YUCK! EWW!

  27. Jeannie
    November 30, 2010 | 10:12 am

    I think it's great to be open. I tried – wasn't quite as successful as you but I explained when opportunities arose and warned well in advance of the need to be protected. My kids are all in the second half of their 20's and none have had STI's or babies. So they either had sense or were lucky.

  28. Bouncin' Barb
    November 30, 2010 | 10:15 am

    Sandra, you ROCK AND THEN SOME! You are one great mother with a sense for making the best out of your kids conversations and such. Your kids will grow to respect and appreciate what you did for them, especially when they have their own kids. Otherwise, they'll be sending their kids to 'Grandma' for the sex talks!!! Love this post and you!

  29. Steph
    November 30, 2010 | 10:31 am

    It's great that you are so honest with your kids. They'll thank you for it in the long run.

    My mom used the naked cartoon characters book approach. I'm pretty sure it has scared me for life.

  30. 4timesblessed
    November 30, 2010 | 10:49 am

    Great post… I too believe in using the proper names for body parts although I am not as open as you are. And no ummm… that wasn't meant as a pun. LOL

  31. Yankee Girl
    November 30, 2010 | 10:57 am

    Don't forget to tell your sons about how some women like to trick their men into getting pregnent. I know WAY to many women who have done that to get their man to marry them…it's pathetic.

    Anyway, I love your parenting style and hope to emulate it when I have babies.

  32. Wendi
    November 30, 2010 | 11:10 am

    Very funny. And now I'm thinking of Mulva on Seinfeld.

  33. HulaBuns
    November 30, 2010 | 11:11 am

    LOL! This is great. I can't wait to hear how he responds to you saying "vulva" repeatedly. :D

  34. Bird Shit and Baby Caca
    November 30, 2010 | 11:11 am

    Vagina is pretty much one of my favorite words…Vulva is now a top contender as well! LOL

  35. Jumble Mash
    November 30, 2010 | 11:26 am

    HAHAHAHAHHAA. You never fail at making me spit out whatever I'm drinking onto my computer monitor and then laugh even more because I KNEW I should never drink anything while reading your posts.

  36. DCHY
    November 30, 2010 | 11:42 am

    Vulva, that was vulva-written post about the vulva. I vulva happy to see vulva you approached the matter. Vulva be teaching my girls in this manner. By the vulva, thank you for the smile on my face. ;)

  37. sapphireblue
    November 30, 2010 | 11:52 am

    My sex ed growing up included this:

    "Men are evil. They just want to get you pregnant and leave you."

    I got caught taking the pill when I was 17. My aunt (the one that raised me) said, "You're taking birth control because you're having sex!!" No, actually, but I thought she was going to pass out. My cousin was unmarried and pregnant at the time. You would have thought she would give me credit for trying to protect myself.

  38. Quirkyloon
    November 30, 2010 | 11:53 am

    Oh my gawsh! This is soooo funny and yet pertinent!

    And here I thought forcing my 13-yr-old boy to watch MTV's 16 and Pregnant with me was good learning!

    Ha!

    And I have no problems with using the correct terminology. In fact I once threatened to check my son's penis for any piercings.

    That was after our why he will NOT get any piercings on our watch.

    *grin*

  39. Oilfield Trash
    November 30, 2010 | 12:08 pm

    I love the word skank.

  40. Kristina P.
    November 30, 2010 | 12:27 pm

    I too am a big fan of using hte word "vagina." I like going to Chuck E Cheese and yelling it to the kids in the ball pit.

  41. Big Fat Gini
    November 30, 2010 | 12:34 pm

    Ah, kudos to you! Seriously, it makes me crazy when parents teach their kids cute little words to describe their lady/man parts. Seriously, it's not cute when they're 42 and calling it a "bo-bo."

  42. Matty
    November 30, 2010 | 12:40 pm

    Wise parents always look for learning opportunities, and take advantage of them. Even in the awkward categories. And somehow, you have a way of injecting humor into the classroom to lighten the load.

  43. A Chicago Blogger
    November 30, 2010 | 1:14 pm

    "Because he had unprotected sex with a skank."

    Ha ha!

    Great post.

    In all my years, my mom and dad NEVER talked to me about sex. I think my mom once told me to wait (I didn't), and promised me she'd be cool if I asked her to go on birth control (no way).

    Way to be the cool mom!

  44. Ameena
    November 30, 2010 | 1:37 pm

    My parents didn't give me "the talk" and so I have no idea how I'm going to go about doing it when my 5-year-old grows up. I can't say any of the words aloud..none of them.

    I'm sending my kid to you for sex education!!

  45. Kara Hoag
    November 30, 2010 | 2:03 pm

    My mom is a nurse, and she thought that sex talks were important. She gave me so many, and she always waited until we were driving somewhere so that I was stuck in the car and couldn't get away from it!!

    karahoag.blogspot.com

  46. Losing Brownies
    November 30, 2010 | 2:10 pm

    I think it's refreshing that you can use vagina and penis so openly. My mom always called them pancake and pickle… which I find distrurbing. I can't look at either without thinking about body parts.

  47. Booyah's Momma
    November 30, 2010 | 2:19 pm

    What?? You can't get pregnant from kissing while wearing a bathing suit? Why did my mother not tell me this?? Thank god for you, Sandra!

  48. Heather
    November 30, 2010 | 3:09 pm

    I hate the word – Puss. I like that medical word better. I am going to memorize it.

    I agree with your terminology and opennes. My friends with one or two kids don't understand that each time you get pregnant the already existing kids have questions. Lots of questions.

    (This reminds me of a Tanner story.)

  49. Mrs. Tuna
    November 30, 2010 | 3:13 pm

    Hey when Sheldon hit puberty I started slipping birth control pills in her Cherios, didn't want to have any unexpected little nerds in the house.

  50. Monkey Man
    November 30, 2010 | 3:18 pm

    With all the inuendo and even specific sexual references on tv these days, you have to start having "the talk" at about age four, don't you? Why just the other day, Barney was singing his new vagina song and….

  51. Monkey Man
    November 30, 2010 | 3:19 pm

    PS – I think people who drive Vulvas are snobs.

  52. TheBabyMammaChronicles
    November 30, 2010 | 3:26 pm

    Haha, good for you for making sure your kids are educated. It's the best way to protect them after all. I mean who wants to have sex after looking at disgusting STD penises and vaginas? GaRoss! Besides, it helps prevent poor people like my sweet Christian friend who in HS ended up getting preggers because she honestly had no idea that she could get pregnant from having sex one time because no one ever told her, I'm surprised she even knew what sex was (she probably didn't know that either) – did I mention she was homeschooled? I felt so bad for her! And it never would have happened if her Mom just wouldn't have been afraid to use words like vagina.

  53. Nicole
    November 30, 2010 | 3:32 pm

    I use the technical terms for everything except the booty. I'm used to saying behind. I really just don't like anuses that much and naming them makes me suddenly smell poop.

    But, my oldest is 5 and we've not had deep discussions about baby making or having. Luckily I had 3 c-sections, so no need to have the vagina/watermellon talk, yet. But I like having instille dvagina and penis into their vocabulary. Especially the girls. I secretly hope that having called it a vagina their whole lives, and not a foofy, or hoo-haa, or muffin or whatever, will help them to take the thing seriously when confronted with the idea of sharing it with someone else. After all, any girl can let a boy/girl touch her snoofy, but no one wants to give away her vagina.

  54. Pragmatic Spector
    November 30, 2010 | 3:54 pm

    I never had the sex talk with my parents. Why? Because I somehow knew all along. I remember when I was 5 my nanny caught me putting my barbie and ken doll in the missionary position. Don't ask me how or why, or how I got to know such things back then. I can't remember that far back. By the time I was in grade school, I was very interested in biology and borrowed user-friendly books on biology and human physiology. Interestingly enough, most books had a chapter dedicated to sex, fertilization, and/or STDs

  55. becca
    November 30, 2010 | 3:55 pm

    i can always count on you for a good giggle thank you

  56. Jessica
    November 30, 2010 | 4:15 pm

    I want to be like you when I'm a mom. Awesomesauce.

  57. allstarme
    November 30, 2010 | 4:17 pm

    My husband was the one who grew up in the unabashed household and my parents were the ones who kept stuff from us. Hell, his mom bought him Hustler at 13! It'll be very interesting to see how our kids turn out.

  58. Holly Ruggiero
    November 30, 2010 | 4:18 pm

    I hope you post when you work your new favorite word into the family conversation.

  59. Juniper
    November 30, 2010 | 4:57 pm

    What I want to know is, what would your son come up with if you asked him to draw an 'anomaly' ?

  60. A girl needs 2 Talk
    November 30, 2010 | 4:57 pm

    The kids will know they ought to be grateful, one day!

  61. Two Normal Moms
    November 30, 2010 | 5:01 pm

    LOL! Seriously – open conversation – no other way to go. I just read a post the other day of a man who thought his wife peed through her vagina… I really want my son to have more knowledge than that! And I'm thinking we had the same "book" growing up….

  62. meleah rebeccah
    November 30, 2010 | 5:14 pm

    Oh My God! It's so nice to *meet* you! Haha. I loved your post.

    I am also an overly open / forthcoming parent, especially when it comes to the topics like sex & drugs!

    Good for you for making sure your kids are educated. After all, that's really the best way to protect them.

    And of course, it made for a pretty funny blog post!

  63. Heather
    November 30, 2010 | 6:08 pm

    Ha ha! Wow! Well I definitely plan on being open about things like this with my son….but got a long ways to go as he's not even 2 yet. Your post was hilarious….can you find a new way to use Perineum? I'll be back to read that post! :) LMAO!
    Thanks for stopping by today!

    Heather From and Mommy Only Has Two Hands! and Lynhea Designs

  64. Shell
    November 30, 2010 | 6:09 pm

    I think you just gave me a fun way to embarrass my kids.

  65. Madame DeFarge
    November 30, 2010 | 6:19 pm

    I love it. I have the same problem with my husband, nicely brought up, but useless at the naming of parts. I have to guess, which can be awkward at times. I need your approach.

  66. Linda Medrano
    November 30, 2010 | 6:34 pm

    Well, I certainly request that my husband always asks me for a little piece of "Vagina" when he wants some. It just wouldn't be the same with other words floating around. Oh wait! He uses those too! My kids would rather I say "vagina" than my favorite which happens to be "holy fucking monkey balls!". But there you go!

  67. Krebster
    November 30, 2010 | 6:53 pm

    Freakin' hilarious! I love that you laid it out on the line with the skank talk. I think more boys should hear that tale. Keep them honest for sweet innocent women like us who come along.

  68. Lin
    November 30, 2010 | 6:56 pm

    That's awesome! My mom was a lot like you when I was growing up, at the time I'd wish she'd just shut up but now that I think about it her talks about body parts & sex helped me keep my V-card til I was 20. I think talks like this, even if they're in a kidding sort of way, help a kid/teen learn a lot about the real world.

  69. Ashley
    November 30, 2010 | 7:15 pm

    Sandra, you are awesome. There is not a time that goes by where I'm dying laughing at your posts. I love the STD talk telling him if he has sex with a skank "His penis will fall off". HAHAHAHAHA. I hope I am the parent that you are when I get older. My parents never taught me about sex and told me that I can only have sex once I get married. When I was 18 and my dad told my mom I asked to get on birth control, he refused to talk to me for a couple months. I guess its because he didn't know what to say. At least I was protecting myself and knew not to have sex with just any guy (plus this was the first guy I had sex with) and was with him for 3 years. So I'm pretty proud of myself.

  70. ShineTheLight
    November 30, 2010 | 7:25 pm

    Haha, I too love the word Vulva, it feels so right coming off the tongue, Vulva, see its great to even write, Vulva…And I can soo relate to your children to be honest..Whenever my mum says anything sexual I'm gone…But it's okay for me to say it, but she doesn't even know what a vulva is in my eyes and never will. Born with nothing and I came from the stork…but yeh thanks for the laughs and the horrid flashbacks of my mum trying to give me 'the talk'

  71. Missy
    November 30, 2010 | 7:28 pm

    My parents have never had The Talk with me! I am waiting!!!!

  72. Average Girl
    November 30, 2010 | 8:22 pm

    Oh just tell your son to call it a Regina, if vagina drives him nuts… that's what I did for the first 10 years of my life, little did I know it was a city in another province….

    you're one funny chickalet!

  73. Joann Mannix
    November 30, 2010 | 8:28 pm

    Here's my vagina story, ready?

    I, too, grew up in a house where body parts and sex were never mentioned. My parents ordered the educational books, but then they put them on this really high shelf and forbid us to look at them. At 13, I got out the books and was reading them when my mom found me and took them away from me, telling me I was too young. I wonder if I should ask her if I can read the books now?

    Anyway, so because of that, I told my girls every body part and their function from the minute they were old enough to know. My middle girl Tori was 4. We were at her preschool fall festival. This huge deal on a Saturday where tons of families came to this little mini carnival. They had a stage set up in the midst of this thing and they were having a game of live Mad Libs. Yes. Mad Libs. My Tori was one of the contestants and since she really didn't know what a noun was at that age, they were giving her the easier mad libs like the numbers and the body parts. And this was all with the use of a microphone, so EVERYONE could hear. And yes, the host dude asked her a body part and of course, she said vagina as clearly and proudly and loudly as she could. It was so fun that day.

  74. WhisperingWriter
    November 30, 2010 | 8:35 pm

    I like how you use the real terms. It drives me crazy when people give them cutesy names. Granted, sometimes in my blog I have called a penis a peen or a vagina an "area" but really, I use the real terms with my kids.

  75. Dad
    November 30, 2010 | 8:55 pm

    I read this post last night and laughed about it all day…I think I might be addicted to you.

  76. drollgirl
    November 30, 2010 | 8:58 pm

    is it wrong to admit that this post makes me want to have sex? kidding. kind of. it has been a while. lol

    my parents were and are total fucking freaks. when it was time for sex education in junior high, they refused to let me attend. i had to sit it out in the library while others learned about sex, stds, etc. ridiculous. WRONG. terrible approach, and i would never do that to kids if i had them.

  77. The Chicken's Consigliere
    November 30, 2010 | 9:45 pm

    Wow-good for you for getting the sex stuff out of the way. I try, but I do not have your finesse. I bow before your…..vulva……..? There. I said it. Happy?

  78. Fay's Too
    November 30, 2010 | 10:06 pm

    Holy crap, I like you!

  79. Stephanie in Suburbia
    November 30, 2010 | 10:11 pm

    Seriously, do you consult on sex ed? I need to put you on retainer. What's that, my kid is only 1 you say? But already I dread this. Already.

    Plus now they learn this stuff at like age 5, as is my understanding of when kids have sex now.

  80. Jill
    November 30, 2010 | 11:40 pm

    May I borrow that book in say 7 or 8 years?

  81. Teisha
    December 1, 2010 | 12:08 am

    I get all giggly and red faced when my four year old asks about where babies come from and although vagina is quite possibly one of my favorite words I've never said it in front of her for fear of her repeating it at a totally awkward moment like Christmas dinner or something. Run-on sentence WINNER.

  82. The Katzbox
    December 1, 2010 | 1:23 am

    81 comments?…and you came to MY blog?…yeesh, I'm flattered….

    This was crazy good. I'm still smiling.

    Louis C.K, the comic, said this about telling the difference between being a "girl" and being a "woman". A "woman" is someone who has had people pass through her vagina and stomped on her dreams. If you're still standing after that crap, you're a woman.

    I love Louis.

    Love your blog, kiddo.

    :)

    Deborah

    P.S. The security word of the day on your blog is "bonelyz"…I'm deadly serious…

  83. Flying high in the sky....
    December 1, 2010 | 2:15 am

    loved and laughed with your post.. specially everytime you mention your "porn surfer" i start laughing ..

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    December 1, 2010 | 4:54 am

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  85. jojo
    December 1, 2010 | 8:01 am

    I'm with deborah, you have a monster group of groupies and you visit me, why thank you. I am quite sure I will harass my children with the word vagina now.

  86. Dee
    December 1, 2010 | 8:15 am

    Hi, You put a smile in my day to find you as a new follower of my humble little blog.. You have a very colorful and fun blog and you will see me in your follower group. I come from the old school of naming body parts…and would probably still use foo foo and fee fee at which my grands would probably correct me with the proper names. :)

  87. Deborah
    December 1, 2010 | 11:09 am

    You know, it could have been that guy that's a skank. Women are not always the keeper of the skankatude. Just sayin'.

  88. Fizzgig
    December 1, 2010 | 11:25 am

    this is sincerely awesome. And if I were ever brave enough to have a baby come out of my vagina, I'd hope to be just as frank about the facts of life.

    I will never forget my 8th grade friend who was devastated cus a boy kissed her, because she thought she was pregnant. she was so upset for days over it.

  89. Colleen
    December 1, 2010 | 12:00 pm

    Note to self…
    in 7-8 yrs, invest in graphic textbook.

  90. KittyCat
    December 1, 2010 | 2:41 pm

    I agree it is super important to arm them with information.

    Great post!

  91. Travel Nurse Extraordinaire
    December 1, 2010 | 4:27 pm

    I can't believe I missed this!Thanks for posting a link in today's!!!!!

  92. The Adorkable Ditz
    December 1, 2010 | 6:40 pm

    Oh God, my brother and I have had the birds and the bees talk ever since I can really remember and well let's just say someone (my brother) used to love saying the body parts. Until I was about 7 I thought they were bad words.

    LOL, still got to admit penis and vagina are funny words.

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

  93. David Davidson
    December 3, 2010 | 2:00 am

    Are you always this funny? After my finals are done I'm going to take the time to go through every single blog post that you've made.

  94. Busy Working Mama
    December 5, 2010 | 12:52 pm

    You're an absolute hoot. I hope to be so honest and open with Lily when she reaches the appropriate age :)

  95. Semi-Slacker Mom
    December 5, 2010 | 9:58 pm

    You are out of control! Maybe I need to get me one of those books for the B&B talk. Right now, they just think if you have a baby when you're a teenager, you go to hell.

  96. SortaCrunchyMommaJenn
    December 6, 2010 | 11:08 pm

    This is awesome. I can't wait for my son to grow up so I too can taunt him with my frankness.

  97. wanderingmenace
    December 8, 2010 | 1:46 am

    Hahaha.
    Well i can definitely relate to being a member of an 'all topics open for discussion' household. My parents were never shy about discussing any of these things. By the time my bro and I were old enough to start talking about our own stuff, dinner time conversation started to scare our extended family and friends.
    I'm loving your blog by the way.
    I also have a post on this same topic, but from the ten year old perspective….
    http://wanderingmenace.wordpress.com/2010/11/29/sex-aliens-and-courage/

  98. wanderingmenace
    December 8, 2010 | 1:47 am

    Hahaha.
    Well i can definitely relate to being a member of an 'all topics open for discussion' household. My parents were never shy about discussing any of these things. By the time my bro and I were old enough to start talking about our own stuff, dinner time conversation started to scare our extended family and friends.
    I'm loving your blog by the way.
    I also have a post on this same topic, but from the ten year old perspective….
    http://wanderingmenace.wordpress.com/2010/11/29/sex-aliens-and-courage/

  99. Helena
    December 9, 2010 | 2:45 am

    My family growing up sounds a lot like yours in this area. We never, ever talked about this stuff. I think I want to raise my future kids a little more like you are doing it.

  100. Kimber Leszczuk.
    December 9, 2010 | 5:06 pm

    I love this post! I have always used the proper terminology with my kids too. I don't want them growing up thinking that there is anything wrong with them. L.thinks it is hilarious to call it her "virginia" instead of saying vagina and it cracks me up too and has become somewhat of a family joke. When we see comercials on the travel channel to go cave exploring … you can see where it would be funny. Inappropriate but funny none-the-less. Hey – never said I was mature either. :) Love your blog!

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