Lying to your kids is a good thing

A few weeks ago, I was on our main computer in the kitchen. This is the computer our children are allowed to use. It’s on the main floor. It’s in a high traffic area. According to all the experts, I’m taking all the proper steps to help prevent my children from falling prey to internet predators and other internet evils.

So I’m sitting at the computer, typing in a website into the address bar, and as always happens, other websites which have been recently accessed begin appearing.

I spot one which I haven’t seen before: http://www.pornblahblahblah no this is not the actual name of the website, as much as I’d love to put the name of the website and enjoy the hits on my blog, I do have integrity…well, some…

Of course I click on the link, and what should my virgin eyes behold but the sight of men and women doing the nasty, women and women doing the nasty, women and rolling pins doing the nasty.

Porn.

Someone has been accessing porn on my computer.

And no. It wasn’t me.
Puleeze.
As if it was me.
I don’t have time to get my motor running by surfing porn.
My idea of foreplay is pulling down my pants.

I call my husband, and say, “Wayne, please tell me you’ve been surfing porn on the kitchen computer.”
He says, “Porn? Why would I surf porn? It’s hockey season.”
Right.
My bad.

So I say, “Maybe it was Wyatt?” (Wyatt is 14.)
But in unison, we say, “No. It was Jackson.” (He’s 13.)

Jackson is a good kid, but he’s the one who will always get caught doing things he’s not supposed to because he’s just not sneaky enough.
Oh he tries.
But he fails.

Jackson comes home from school.
I call him up to my bedroom.
Immediately he knows he’s in trouble, but unfortunately, he pulls so many stunts, he has no idea what he’s been busted for this time.

“So Jackson, you do realize I have this special program on the computer that allows me to access all the websites you kids go into.”
I don’t.
“I found out today that you were in a very inappropriate site. Would you care to come clean about this and save yourself a punishment by being honest?”

And the kid is so fucken cute, it’s hard for me to keep a straight face when his little mouth curls up into the “Oh shit!” expression.
But I do keep a straight face.

I give him credit though.
His survival instincts kicked right in, and without missing a beat, he replies, “I haven’t done anything wrong.”
And turns to flee for his life leave my bedroom.

I sit on my bed. Count to three, and…

Knock-Knock-Knock.

Enter Jackson. Terror written all over his face.
“Mom, I was on a website…umm…porn…but I didn’t know what it was. The boys at school told me to go there, and I did, but I didn’t know what would show up, and as soon as I saw what it was, I logged out, and I didn’t know, and…” Cue the cry of fright.

Don’t worry. I don’t buy the whole I-logged-out-as-soon-as-I-saw-the-two-people-fucking alibi.

But I did use this as an opportunity to thoroughly humiliate him teach him that men and women who really love each other don’t have sex like the people on the porn site.
That kind of loving is degrading to women and only performed by people who are in the first 18 months of a hot and steamy love affair, and can’t get into enclosed spaces fast enough to tear each other’s clothing off  and no respectable man and woman do those dirty things to each other. Love making is tender and respectful…and blah blah blah…
I have no idea what more I was spouting off, because I starting thinking about what I was going to make for supper.

I ended my speech with a reiteration of the fact that I have a special program on the computer which sends me an email when certain websites are accessed.
I don’t.
So in the future, he better think twice before pulling his plug in my kitchen.

There. That outta do it.

The kid has been scared shitless to go anywhere near the computer ever since.

This is me wiping my hands.
Job well done. 

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95 Responses to Lying to your kids is a good thing
  1. Another Day of Crazy
    November 17, 2010 | 1:19 am

    Today must be the day for it. On the way home, kids asked my why grandma looked like she was having a baby. Eldest says "So i'll have a tummy like that after I have a babe?"

    Littlest: "I won't, cause I PEE the babies out."

    Eldest: "It's not pee. It's SPERM." and she proceeds to tell the other kids what she learned in sex ed last week.

    Ewwwwwwwww… there's something wrong about kids talking about 'doing it'. Thank god they were almost as grossed out as I was.

  2. Kristina P.
    November 17, 2010 | 1:24 am

    My husband once got a porn bomb sent to his email. He called me at work, freaking out that I would think he was looking at porn. I proceeded to tell him if he did the dishes and gave me foot rubs everyday for a week, I would forgive and believe him. I am very understanding.

    I think I might start a unicorn porn site called Uniporn. I think it will have a high fetish rating.

  3. Kristina P.
    November 17, 2010 | 1:28 am

    BTW, I literally laughed out loud at the part about sex being between two loving people and how married people don't have sex that way.

  4. The Adorkable Ditz
    November 17, 2010 | 1:30 am

    Oh God I remember when my mom first caught me on a porn site. Yes I've done it, sue me!

    She was all disappointed and she said that she didn't want me getting desensitized and what not. Ummm, I've had the sex talk since I was 8, they've let me watched something far worse than that.

    History of Violence, changed me and not all for the better.

    I know the difference between a pity fuck and love making, I know how to respect my body. I understand why it's not cool for my brother to do it, because he obsesses, but I don't obsess. I just take a gander and that's it.

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

  5. Flying high in the sky....
    November 17, 2010 | 1:37 am

    Sandra, i am impressed with the way you handled the situation..you seem to be a very understanding mom!and yes, you are right, it is ok to lie to kids if that lie is going to help them

  6. Belle
    November 17, 2010 | 1:39 am

    You did a fantastic job.

  7. ChiTown Girl
    November 17, 2010 | 1:49 am

    You are too funny! Good one!

  8. Kara Hoag
    November 17, 2010 | 2:00 am

    Lying to children. Something that you don't understand is acceptable until adulthood. Sometimes, though, it's the only way to make them understand it's wrong at their age (and not necessarily at older ages).

    karahoag.blogspot.com

  9. Ashley
    November 17, 2010 | 2:40 am

    I almost peed my pants. I love it. Good job.

    <3 Ash

  10. Anita @ GoingALittleCoastal
    November 17, 2010 | 2:41 am

    Oh yes, lying to your kids. A key part of raising your kids and keeping them out of trouble. It also works well on husbands also in a reverse psychology sort of way. I was also known to go through their rooms while they were at school, reading notes from girlfriends. No cell phones back then for the oldest. Now I have to check text messages. Much harder.

  11. Mynx
    November 17, 2010 | 3:44 am

    This reminds me of a couple of occaisions when internet use has been called into question in this house. First looking for a particular photo searched all jpeg files and came up with some rather "interesting" anime pics. Eldest son denied knowledge but they seemed to disappear on their own shortly after.
    Second time was when I found a printed sheet of paper with a list of sites found in a yahoo search for "sexy stories". Both teenage boys declared themselves innocent "I use google mum". Seems hubby was the culprit. Hmmm.

  12. Gigi
    November 17, 2010 | 7:15 am

    Been there; done that. You handled it very well. And yes, lying is a key piece of weaponry in the war on parenting.

  13. Jewels
    November 17, 2010 | 7:31 am

    Lying to children is essential. I mean really, it's for their own good. They'll thank you one day. When they are a parent they'll understand. Right? haha.
    Good job. Way to handle the situation.

  14. TinaM
    November 17, 2010 | 7:36 am

    I don't lie to my kid, and that was my first thought when I saw the title. BUT, you totaly proved me wrong! Now I do beleive it is ok to lie to your kids, and I will probably have to use this lie in the next few years! haha
    Love the way you write about this stuff.
    And I agree: Job well done!!!

  15. Portia
    November 17, 2010 | 8:14 am

    Holy cow this brought back memories for me! When my son was about 11 or 12 he did the same thing! And, of course, I said nearly the same things you did. I started out by telling him that I could SEE which websites he went on etc..

    He was pretty pitiful about it but he's 22 years old now and a really nice young man. I guess whatever I said worked!

  16. ms. caboo
    November 17, 2010 | 8:22 am

    Bravo! Brilliant job on scaring the crap out of your kid. I'm all for the fear factor.
    I joke with my man about him looking at porn on the internet. He's so not interested, he looks at tractor websites–I call it Tractor Porn. "Honey, are you looking at Tractor Porn again?" He lives for the day he can buy a tractor, and has no interest in the porn stuff. He's deathly afraid of big brother tracking it down and somehow his deer hunting privileges will be taken away. I like to think I keep it interesting enough that he doesn't look anywhere else!

  17. Cole
    November 17, 2010 | 8:40 am

    When Mommy was a teacher, she occasionally had students try to change their spelling quiz answers after the papers had been graded and returned.

    8-year-old: Mrs L, I don't understand why you marked this wrong. (shows Mommy crumpled paper and points to word that has CLEARLY been erased and rewritten)

    Mommy: well, I must have made a mistake – but before I change your grade, I'll have to double check the copy of the quiz I made before I handed them back. (yeah, right. Like she wasted time photocopying class sets of quizzes). Do you want to think for a moment before I go check? Was it my error or did maybe you make a mistake?

    ::beat of silence::

    Red-cheeked-student: Uhhh, never mind.

  18. brainella
    November 17, 2010 | 8:53 am

    Men and porn. I just don't get it. We used to have all sorts of men come into the public library and look at things I just can't describe. Dang. I'll have to remember this post when it's my turn to deal with it…

  19. Booyah's Momma
    November 17, 2010 | 8:56 am

    Best line in this whole post? "Porn? Why would I surf porn? It's hockey season." Classic.

  20. That One Mom
    November 17, 2010 | 9:02 am

    I've caught my kids on sites they're not supposed to be on and used the same lie to bust them! Good work, Mom!

  21. Michele
    November 17, 2010 | 9:05 am

    "My idea of foreplay is pulling down my pants."

    had me spitting out my coffee… thank you for the laugh. I am hooked and will be back. and right now I am thankful my little man is only 2, I am not ready for this!

  22. Heather
    November 17, 2010 | 9:28 am

    Oh yeah. We went through this with our fourteen year old this summer.
    I told him that despite what he may have watched – bank tellers did not want to have sex with him, waitresses either.
    We also got the get out of jail free pass for coming clean.
    At least yours didn't completely crash your computer in the process.
    Classic – I logged off right away!!!

  23. -stephanie-
    November 17, 2010 | 9:37 am

    Woman and rolling pins!! I hope not a wooden one. :o /

  24. Jumble Mash
    November 17, 2010 | 10:14 am

    Freakin' brilliant. You handled that quite well! I would have probably laughed at him and told him he was a perv. Good thing I dont have children, huh? :)

  25. tripleZmom
    November 17, 2010 | 10:16 am

    This is going to be such a problem when my boys are older. Porn makes me laugh. I will totally laugh as I try to tell my kids why they're not supposed to look at porn.

    Maybe I could just send them to you?

  26. Bouncin' Barb
    November 17, 2010 | 10:18 am

    What a quick thinking Mom. Good job. I did have a similar situation with son in his teen years. Except I flagged it as a favorite sight so I could go back in and check it out! I'm a naughty girl. I know.

  27. Raquel's World
    November 17, 2010 | 10:22 am

    Funny that whole, "my friend told me to go there, I did not know what it was, I logged off as soon as I found out what it was" I've heard that before. They must have a book.

  28. Steph
    November 17, 2010 | 10:23 am

    I'd say you handled that very well. Great job with the i-have-a-program-that-monitors-that-kinda-stuff.

    I bet his buddies did tell him to look at it though.

  29. nitebyrd
    November 17, 2010 | 10:40 am

    I totally believe in lying to children to keep them safe or scared shitless as needed. I only wish I had some kind of Mission Impossible Tape Destroyer Thingy that I could have lied to my son about when I found his porn VHS tapes. Who knew inanimate objects and vegatables could be used so creatively!?!

  30. Rebecca
    November 17, 2010 | 10:44 am

    I'm cataloging this tactic in my mental filing cabinet for later use as my fetus cannot yet access the internet. I'm sure it won't take long though! Thanks Sandra!

  31. Lori
    November 17, 2010 | 10:46 am

    I just have to thank you for the coffee coming out of my nose…thank you for the morning laugh…I lie to my kids in the same way's and it does work. :)

  32. CkretsGalore
    November 17, 2010 | 10:48 am

    BAHAHAHAH This reminds me of when my little bro got busted. He was 11 just about 12 years old and I was around 25. My MOM actually called me to recount the entire story.
    Pretty much went down in a simliar fashion and did he cry!! And did my Mother and I cry….from laughter. Not in his face of course.
    Then I bought him his first PlayBoy.

  33. Lady Fromage
    November 17, 2010 | 10:51 am

    Well handled! And turnd into a very laughable story! :)

  34. anSeL
    November 17, 2010 | 10:53 am

    oh, my, i'll be shocked if i found out my kids watching porn!

    you're right it's ggod to lie sometimes…
    and that's mommy power! Go super mom!

  35. Bird Shit and Baby Caca
    November 17, 2010 | 11:11 am

    Pulling his plug in my kitchen…made me giggle. I am so immature! LOL

  36. Travel Nurse Extraordinaire
    November 17, 2010 | 11:24 am

    You did a great job. Although, I srtongly believe in telling the truth, I also wonder how well a 13 or 14 year old would understand the truth about such a complex topic that even alot of adults don't fully understand, lol. I'm sure you tell the truth about the safe sex and reproduction.

  37. becca
    November 17, 2010 | 11:26 am

    i must say i was impressed with how you handled that and i love that whole thing about the special program. then my inner child emerged and i giggled about the whole pull your plug thing.

  38. DCHY
    November 17, 2010 | 11:28 am

    I had to suppress my laughter (I'm at work) when you wrote this gem – "My idea of foreplay is pulling down my pants."

    I hope that my girls will have enough common sense as they near the age of curiousity. Maybe. :)

  39. Mrs. Tuna
    November 17, 2010 | 11:42 am

    Once when I was trying to figure out what middle school kids needed for their back to school list I typed an inappropriate website on my WORK!!!! computer. Who knew teen.com was such a slutty place.

  40. karensomethingorother
    November 17, 2010 | 11:48 am

    is this the part where I say that perhaps it was I who wiped out our harddrive recently, having acquired a virus from a porn site? No, I'd better not admit to anything like that.

    Sandra, that line you typed about foreplay for you is "pulling down your pants" made me laugh so hard. This is good too, because the kids broke me this morning, and I had a 15 minute crying festival. Good times.

  41. Martha@A Sense of Humor is Essential
    November 17, 2010 | 12:07 pm

    I went through this with our teen boys, gee, the stakes are so much freaking higher now with the intertubes. Gosh, makes you nostalgic for Play.boy etc.
    Nice to meet ya, thanks for your blog visit. Love your profile pic and bloggy name.

  42. Shabbygalsnest
    November 17, 2010 | 12:19 pm

    Sandra great job! Yes every parent has to lie to their kid at some point and time.My oldest son got seriously pissed at 8 when he confronted me about Santa Claus. As much as I tried to reassure him their is one he was having no part of it. Ranted and raved about how could we betray him and let him believe such nonsense. I look back and laugh now!At the time though he seriously had me doubtin myself was a bad parent? LOL Traci

  43. Quirkyloon
    November 17, 2010 | 12:42 pm

    Nicely done! Bravo!

    And I'm taking notes. Definitely.

    Now as long as you get the "look of terror" then you know you've done the right thing, right?

    Note to self: work on getting boys' looks of terror.

  44. Kelley
    November 17, 2010 | 12:51 pm

    I loved how you handled that! I feel like I'm looking into my future. My two boys are 2 & 6, but they'll be 13 soon enough. Ahhhhhh!!!!

  45. Jennie @ Modern Mamaz
    November 17, 2010 | 1:06 pm

    Think the email line would work on my husband? Nevermind, I don't want to do that. Porn's the only reason I get a break around here.

  46. The Random Blogette
    November 17, 2010 | 1:12 pm

    Wow! I am scared for the day when my son becomes curious about sex and porn. Great job though handling that. I just don't even know what I would've done.

  47. TheBabyMammaChronicles
    November 17, 2010 | 1:16 pm

    Well done, I love it! Lie totally justified, way to think on your toes :)

  48. Gawgus things...
    November 17, 2010 | 1:40 pm

    This made me howl out loud – sooo funny! Got to find out what happens next…;)

  49. Jessica
    November 17, 2010 | 1:48 pm

    Best mom in the world. Lies work on children. This proves it. :)

  50. Big Fat Gini
    November 17, 2010 | 1:55 pm

    Oh Lord have mercy, I 'bout peed my pants. Especially since it was a short week ago when I happened upon a website that boasted photos of Bret Favre's penis. Oh, I saw it too. Yes. I did.

    And then Mr. BFG creeped up behind me and yelled, "PORN LOOKER!"

  51. Myya
    November 17, 2010 | 2:05 pm

    I love the tell me what you did & you won't get in trouble punishment. It makes them think so much more about what they did. Your boys are close in age! My girls are really close too, but they are girls so I don't think I will have too many issues with porn… God willing.

  52. MacDougal Street Baby
    November 17, 2010 | 2:19 pm

    Love your husband's response! And I'm in complete agreement. Lying makes good parents out of us all!

  53. Teisha
    November 17, 2010 | 2:28 pm

    Eeek! The closest I've come to any sort of sex talk with my kids was when I caught my four year old makin' out with her Barbie.

  54. Brandy@YDK
    November 17, 2010 | 3:04 pm

    Good job! I lie to my 2 yr old on a regular basis – blue's clues went night night – now it's your turn.

    the water is all gone until tomorrow.

  55. Shell
    November 17, 2010 | 3:53 pm

    i'm going to have to remember that when my boys get a little bit older. Brilliant.

  56. Missy
    November 17, 2010 | 4:29 pm

    We had a "porn" incident with our 12 year-old. He clicked on some pop up and could not x it off. He came Screaming like he was on fire!

  57. Monkey Man
    November 17, 2010 | 4:53 pm

    That is the kind of lying my mother would have pulled on me. Good going. Teach him now that he will always get caught if he does stupid stuff.

    BTW-did you know that you can actually click on your http://www.pornblabla fake site? I didn't because I don't want my mom (er, wife) to see me looking at porn on my laptop.

  58. Diane
    November 17, 2010 | 5:18 pm

    BwaHaHahaaa! I'll have to remember this one.
    When my now 11 year old was 7..7! I saw where he had searched…"Sexey Sexey Sexey Boobs!" I don't know why he though Sexy had an E in it!

  59. 1 Funky Woman
    November 17, 2010 | 5:53 pm

    Awesome, awesome, awesome I love you so much! This post must be why I gave you an award on my blog today! Head on over and check it out! You are so stinkin hilarious I think I laughed so hard tears ran down my leg!

    There is nothing wrong with lying. I would so do that! In fact I have used the I see everything even when I'm not around! It has worked so far!

    Megan

  60. A girl needs 2 Talk
    November 17, 2010 | 6:13 pm

    Wowwie. I am proud of your lecture delivering skills! The poor kid must be in shock!

  61. Ordinary Em
    November 17, 2010 | 6:28 pm

    By all means lie. I am glad your experience turned out okay. Some don't.

  62. Marsy
    November 17, 2010 | 6:55 pm

    I double love this story! :) it's fantastic in so many ways. The closest I ever got to watching porn when I was younger was when my parents were watching 9 1/2 weeks and then just as the fun started I was told to go to sleep lol

  63. Madame DeFarge
    November 17, 2010 | 6:55 pm

    Well, it could have been worse I suppose. Can you get him interested in hockey instead? Have a good old father to son talk?

  64. Holly Ruggiero
    November 17, 2010 | 7:10 pm

    Let’s us hope he doesn’t read your blog.

  65. Mighty M
    November 17, 2010 | 7:38 pm

    I like your style, mom. :)

  66. Snuggle Wasteland
    November 17, 2010 | 7:59 pm

    Can you come to KY and talk to my boys? They're always up to something naughty.

  67. Lin
    November 17, 2010 | 8:14 pm

    It happens and it happens exactly the way he told you–some kid tells another to go to this site and blah, blah, blah. We've had it happen here with the boy babysitter we had–with my kids all sitting around the computer. My kids ratted him out. When I called him, the poor kid was so freaked out and mortified that he didn't know better than to try that website. It was innocent enough and I think it happens a lot.

    The only really bad part is that you will be eternally marked for porn spam now. There are so many cookies (or whatever) on those sites, that your computer may have to be really cleaned to avoid it. Run your malware NOW.

  68. Sparkling
    November 17, 2010 | 8:35 pm

    I absolutely LOVE that you told him you get an email when they go to porn! NOw he'll tell all of his friends and they'll all be freaked out. For like a day. And then some older and wiser brother who's a computer science major will tell them you are full of shit and it will be all over. But you'll win for a few minutes, at least.

  69. ModernMom
    November 17, 2010 | 9:27 pm

    LOL Sorry. Little funny. Yes, job well done. I'm sure we will all have similiar experiences:)

  70. Katy
    November 17, 2010 | 9:39 pm

    I hate to reply right now since the comments count sits at 69 – but I just wanted to say that your 13 year old so reminds me of my 11 year old. Because the poor child is such a bad lier no matter how many times she trys to get away with stuff she always fails… it doesn't stop her from trying though.

  71. Nicole
    November 17, 2010 | 9:46 pm

    Brava!! Lying as a parenting tool has it's place. For sure.

  72. Jill
    November 17, 2010 | 9:51 pm

    What a great story. I love that you handled it instead of your huz. I guess kids don't steal their dad's Playboys anymore, huh. Lovely, something else for me to look forward to SIGH. You have a very nice, normal boy there and what a great way to handle it.

  73. Terry
    November 17, 2010 | 11:14 pm

    OMG…so NOT looking forward to this day in my future. You handled it well! Kudos to you!

  74. City Mom
    November 17, 2010 | 11:48 pm

    Nice job! That sounds like a perfect explanation!

    Damn porn sites…like seriously!?

  75. Jami
    November 18, 2010 | 1:45 am

    Job WELL done, indeed! I have "special programs" on all the computers in our house. My son will be 15 next week.

  76. Chocolate Covered Daydreams
    November 18, 2010 | 2:44 am

    You have the greatest comebacks. Even better is that he believed you!

  77. Woman In The Midst: Raw
    November 18, 2010 | 9:39 am

    Good job Mama Sandra! Excellent job in fact!

  78. Queenie Jeannie
    November 18, 2010 | 10:01 am

    LOL! What a great post!!! I love how you write the way things really are…not all sugar-coated and glossed up. Kids and husbands will always try to pull a fast one. ALWAYS. We wives/Moms need to be ever viligant! *evil grin*

  79. Cool Gal
    November 18, 2010 | 10:13 am

    OMG…I am not ready for that one.

    Last year, while my son was studying sex ed. in health, I nonchalantly tried to ask him, during dinner, what his teacher was teaching him about sex. I wanted to make sure it was what I wanted him to learn.

    He told me I was "gay" and took his dinner plate into the family room. He wouldn't look at me or come back to the table when I yelled at him to do so.

    Porn…good lord, I don't know how he would respond to that one.

    Loved the "I logged off it right away." Do they think we are stupid? Yes, actually, I think they do! LOL!

    Fantastic post!

  80. Unpolished Parenting
    November 18, 2010 | 10:31 am

    Brilliant!

    I wonder how long it will take him to test you on being able to see the sites he's visited? :) But seriously, job well done!

  81. transplantedx3
    November 18, 2010 | 10:47 am

    I think I just peed myself~ thank for the giggles! Love your writing style.

  82. McKenzie
    November 18, 2010 | 1:47 pm

    Too funny! Thanks for the great laugh!!

  83. Pamela
    November 18, 2010 | 2:02 pm

    Oh man. Now that must have been awkward! But you did a great job & yes, I agree, sometimes you just gotta lie:)

  84. ShannonL
    November 18, 2010 | 5:27 pm

    Too freakin' hilarious! I've told my 12 year old son the same thing. I don't think he believes me though. AND he's learned how to clear the history! Yikes.

  85. caterpillar
    November 19, 2010 | 6:30 am

    Oh God….I better practice lying for when I have kids…

  86. Mary
    November 19, 2010 | 6:33 am

    Jackson sounds a lot like my oldest…if he's in a crowd of people and one person is going to get caught, it's going to be him.
    Isn't it great to be a parent when we can make stuff up at the spur of the moment (and the kids actually believe us?)? :D

  87. Stephanie in Suburbia
    November 20, 2010 | 3:42 pm

    Okay, my daughter is one and this already terrifies me. Can I call you when this happens to me? Only by then somehow she will have some machine the size of a toothpick she can hide in her garter belts along with whatever drug is new and she'll be sexting constantly….God I need a drink.

    Seriously, though, you handled it awesome!

  88. Busy Working Mama
    November 21, 2010 | 10:27 pm

    I just read this out loud to my husband (had to squint at the fine print – old age?!?) and we were both giggling. Job well done, indeed.

  89. Busy Working Mama
    November 21, 2010 | 10:28 pm

    But can your kids get to your blog?? If so they'll know you don't have the program. FYI – I can't open your blog at work or else my system tells me I've been "logged and reported" for inappropriate website usage.

  90. Ginger
    November 22, 2010 | 10:11 pm

    Lying to your kids is a prerequisite to being a good mom. Moms can hear conversations behind closed doors, have eyes behind her head, I say whatever it takes to get them to do right. You did a great job Mom.

  91. Jessica
    November 30, 2010 | 8:09 am

    Can you offer mom classes? I want to be a mom like you.

  92. Yankee Girl
    November 30, 2010 | 11:03 am

    This post is the reason I love reading blogs at work!

  93. Helena
    December 9, 2010 | 2:49 am

    "My idea of foreplay is pulling down my pants." <—This is me.

    I love the way you handled this.

  94. Kimber Leszczuk.
    December 9, 2010 | 5:13 pm

    I loved this! Too funny!

    My hubby works for a company repairing computers and most of the viruses and spyware that infects computers comes from porn sites.

  95. like I told you I'm not surprised at anything
    December 12, 2010 | 1:53 pm

    and now we're even for my comment on the possible reason why the skin on your hand has some strange dermathological malfunctions, right? :D

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