I had my orientation session for the hospital rotation I’ll be doing for my nursing program.
I met my “boss” and she spent the day showing us around, telling us what to expect in the next eight weeks. Take a look at some of the “talks” I was having with myself from the time I awoke until the end of the orientation session.
God, it’s so early, I’m so tired. I don’t think I slept a wink again…
Cheerios cheer me up. That must be why they call them Cheerios. ‘Cause they cheer…you up…I’m so smart.
Oh look, the other girls have already arrived. They’re all so young. And I’m so…married with four kids. The educator is either going to respect the fact that I have children, or she’ll be all like, “Oh this one is going to think she knows it all just because she has four kids!” like my educator from last term.
Great. We have to give a blurb about ourselves…do I mention the kids or pretend I just graduated from high school? what? you think I couldn’t pull it off?
She likes that I have kids! Phew!
I’m so tired. I wonder how many more sleepless nights I need to have before I start hallucinating unicorns?
This educator is so nice. I’ve never had such a nice one. This one actually wants to teach us…
She has got some big-ass nostrils. I bet she could stick two pencils in each one…
…focus focus…she’s talking about very important stuff here.
Oh. Now she’s talking about IV medications. I suck at IV medications. This is why I shouldn’t be a nurse. I don’t want to administer IV meds.
That’s just stupid. You don’t have to get a job anywhere near IV meds when you graduate. You could…you could…
Why are my kids calling me?
I can’t believe they called me to tell me they were fighting over cheese.
This educator is so nice. She’s actually having lunch with us.
Must not look at her nostrils…must stare into her eyes…
Why is that girl telling us that she’s going to the gym after this? Is that a challenge? ‘Cause I will so go to the gym too chickie, and I’ll kick your little teenybobber ass all over the place!…
man I’m competitive. Why does the word ‘gym’ trigger feelings of violence within me. I don’t have to be the fittest in the land…
Yes, yes I do.
I wonder if I could get a job as Cinderella at Disneyworld. I’d look great in the blonde chignon.
Those babies are cute. What if I get that same urge I had when I did the maternity rotation to take one of them home with me and go on the lamb?
Would Wayne come with me?
Would the kids enjoy living on the run?
We’re being told what to expect tomorrow.
Ok. I think I can stick around for the next 8 weeks.
Who knows. Maybe I’ll be the best at giving IV meds. I’ll be like the Queen of the IVs!
…why does everything have to be a competition with you…?