Kody Brown, The Duggars, and me stirring up trouble…

So I was getting my long, lustrous hair done yesterday.
My hair is so frizzy, that occasionally, I get a relaxer put in.
The place where I go, which can’t even be qualified as a salon because it’s part store where people can buy wigs and African-American cultural films, part little area where you sit and hair stylists, and I use the word loosely, do style your hair, but with such a lackadaisical attitude, that a fifteen minute hair straightening session will take 1 hour and 10 minutes.

Why do I keep going to this place?
Because I love the atmosphere.
In this salon I can find the most authentic people and the most honest conversation.

I don’t have to worry that I’ll bump into “those” women who are made up from head to toe in jewels, waving their perfectly sculpted gel nails in my face, talking to me with their perfectly botoxed faces and recently plumped upper lip, asking me which private school my kids attend.

I guess that sort of makes me a reverse snob.
Or white trash.

In this “salon,” the tv is always on, the ladies are watching The Price is Right or The Young and The Restless, and they’re commenting; their thick Caribean and Nigerian accents arguing over what the real price of the Rice-a-Roni is or who Victor Newman is going to boink this week.

I love it here.

So yesterday, the tv was on, and the ladies were watching The View. It must have been a repeat because Whoopi announces that the Duggars are expecting their 19th child.

So my ladies are like, “Nineteen? She’s already had her nineteenth.”

Well, it just so happens that the only other person sitting in this area is one of “those” ladies, getting a blonde weave put into her hair, waving her perfectly sculpted gel nail at her stylist, commanding her to “Make sure you straighten my hair when you’re done. The other girl” -and she gestures with her perfectly botoxed head to my stylist- “that one over there, she always straightens it.”

At the mention of Michelle Duggar, snotbag lady pipes up, “That’s disgusting! Nineteen kids…”

Normally I wouldn’t even comment. I know that people have conflicting opinions regarding the Duggars. 
From what I have seen on tv (and again, I know it’s tv, which is why I can’t say for sure exactly how I feel,) but from what I have seen, the Duggars are doing a great job.
This isn’t the Octomom we’re talking about.

And really, with that many kids, Michelle Duggar would never have to do the dishes.
I am both admiring and jealous of her.

But snotbag lady is irritating and rude, so it’s up to me to save the day shed some light on the matter, so I say, “Why do you say that’s disgusting? It’s not like you’re giving birth to these children. You aren’t the one raising them.”

Snotbag lady has now swivelled her chair in such a way that she is no longer facing me.

I don’t stop though.
Now it’s fun because snotbag lady is just a mouthpiece and can’t even have a discussion about something that people discuss all the time.
Come on! People either love or hate the Duggars.
Say something!

But nope.

The stylists start up though. One thinks that the girls in the family shouldn’t wear skirts all the time, to which the other lady explains that it’s their religion. Then the one lady comments that 19 kids would be so hard on Michelle’s body, to which the other lady replies that she looks good for a woman who has had 19 kids.

Snotbag lady is still saying nothing.
And even though I can’t see her face, I can see smoke coming out of her very red ears.

Of course, I could have just sat there and watched The View quietly, while the stylists continued to discuss Michelle Duggar’s uterus.

But noooooo….

Instead, I pipe up: “Have you guys seen that new show on TLC? Sister Wives?”

“Sister Wives? What is that?” they both ask.

Snotbag lady does not turn around but her shoulders shoot up around her ears.
I’m sure if she could have extricated her arms from under her cape, she would have plugged her fingers into her ears and started singing, “I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!”

I say, “Sister Wives is about a guy married to four wives. They all live in the same house. It’s quite a terrific arrangement.” giggle giggle

The stylists start bantering about Kody Brown, and about this one African lady they know who is in a polygamist marriage, and said lady loves it.
The one stylist says, “She thinks it’s great that she doesn’t have to have him in her bed every night. You know, he can climb on one of the other wives.”

At this point, snotbag lady has enfolded herself into a little ball on the styling chair, hiding under the cape.

That’ll teach you snotbag lady!
Stay off my turf.

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71 Responses to Kody Brown, The Duggars, and me stirring up trouble…
  1. Noelle
    October 30, 2010 | 12:41 pm

    I love when you stir up trouble!

  2. ChiTown Girl
    October 30, 2010 | 12:41 pm

    Bwah hahahahaha! That's awesome! Your 'salon' sounds great, by the way. I need to go there with you one day, cuz it sounds like they might be able to do something to tame my wild mane!

    Oh, and I've been meaning to tell you – love the new look!

  3. Blasé
    October 30, 2010 | 12:43 pm

    It's obvious you've got Snotbag lady's number.

    You GO Sandra!!!

  4. Kristina P.
    October 30, 2010 | 12:44 pm

    I need more white trash in my life, so thank you.

    Oh, wait. I'm a social worker. No I don't.

  5. Just Plain Tired
    October 30, 2010 | 12:56 pm

    I admire you immensely for this. Although I've never heard of the Duggars myself. Snobby people possess much suckage in their lives. ;)

  6. SkippyMom
    October 30, 2010 | 1:02 pm

    I don't know what is funnier -you at the salon or Kristina's comment. I am still laughing.

  7. Losing Brownies
    October 30, 2010 | 1:13 pm

    I can't stand snotbags like that. I had a coworker who announced in the lounge that no one has any business having more than 1 child, because the earth was over populated. I had just told people I was expecting my son. I felt so enraged at her for airing her stuck up opinions like that.

  8. Diane
    October 30, 2010 | 1:13 pm

    Hi-Larious! Snotbag lady had it comin'!

  9. Jayne Doe
    October 30, 2010 | 1:18 pm

    That's hilarious!

    I dislike the Duggars and all of those TLC shows with young kids who put their children so into the world.

    These children of reality shows do not have real childhoods and everything that's aired can come back to haunt them in adulthood.

    It's all horrid imo.

    Reality shows starring adults is different because they have a choice.

    re: Sister Wives – I look at things like that and all I can think is that it makes more sense for one woman to have multiple husbands.

  10. Mamma has spoken
    October 30, 2010 | 1:34 pm

    OH I love what you did. If you are going to make a comment, then stand up for it. As for me I think Michelle is loony tunes and those sister wives are living a lie. And yes, I believe every word of what I said. I would support it here, but it would end up being a book and you have enough reading to do with your classes ;o)

  11. Linda Medrano
    October 30, 2010 | 1:50 pm

    I love a rabble rouser woman! Honest I do! And I think I need some sister wives. No more housework for me! No more cooking for me! No more laundry for me! No more ironing for me!

  12. Another Day of Crazy
    October 30, 2010 | 1:51 pm

    Ha! With any luck, snotbag lady will never set foot there again!

    If she does, you should start a voodoo discussion, and mention using it on annoying people…

  13. Sparkling
    October 30, 2010 | 2:02 pm

    I love to watch the Duggars. It is pure taboo in this house, so I have to do it in secret. BUt they make me happy. In another life, I would have been Michelle Duggar and happy to be such. I'm always watching for signs of the kids wanting out, but those who speak to the camera really seem to believe they are a good family. I think Jim BOb is a horse's ass, but I think Michelle is great and the family makes it all work. Of course, having a house bigger than a city block and people behind the scenes that we don't know anything about certainly helps.

    Glad to know you can't keep your mouth shut!!

  14. Anita @ GoingALittleCoastal
    October 30, 2010 | 2:03 pm

    This is why I love coming here. I love it that you can't stop. Disgust is a strong word. Dugger kids seem to be doing okay, they must be doing something right. There's screwball parents out there with one kid and can't seem to get it right.

  15. Stacey
    October 30, 2010 | 2:04 pm

    Love the Duggars, and I think they do a great job. Sister Wives I have never seen, and I don't plan on it.

  16. Bouncin' Barb
    October 30, 2010 | 2:06 pm

    Oh Sandra…you and I would get into so much trouble together. What fun we could have. Too bad we don't live closer to each other. You are as evil as I am. hahaha

  17. linlah
    October 30, 2010 | 2:14 pm

    White trash is higly underrated.

  18. Confessions of a Closet Hoarder but you can call me Judy
    October 30, 2010 | 2:16 pm

    I've only watched the Duggars a couple of times, and I've never seen Sister Wives. I have to say that I'd rather have more kids than sister wives, though. If they wanted to volunteer to do the laundry and dishes and all that, it would be one thing. But share my husband? Nah. I might have to cut someone. :D

  19. Lourie
    October 30, 2010 | 2:20 pm

    Reverse Snob had me laughing, but you when called that woman a snotbag I nearly peed myself! hahahaha. I would so stir up trouble with you any day! haha.

  20. Kimberly
    October 30, 2010 | 2:38 pm

    Snotbag lady needs to come to my salon where my stylist has more tattoos than that chick on TLC. they don't put up with shot like that…even for money. I hope they left some weave showing…

  21. Evonne
    October 30, 2010 | 2:39 pm

    From what I've seen, I think the Duggers do a good job. Sister Wives? Don't get me started on that show!

    Good job at stirring things up. That's always fun!

  22. Heather
    October 30, 2010 | 3:00 pm

    REading this made me think I don't cause near enough crap when I am out on the town. I will have to try harder!!

  23. Jumble Mash
    October 30, 2010 | 3:36 pm

    Niiiice. It's always fun to shake things up a bit:)

  24. female, I shit you not!
    October 30, 2010 | 3:57 pm

    Here's an old timers words.
    You are a Hot Shit and I mean that in a good way. :0)

    Don't always comment, but
    "Hot Shit" is what I would use for all comments.
    Meantime I'll just keep peeping and popping in and out. ;0)

  25. Colleen
    October 30, 2010 | 4:54 pm

    I just found your blog. Love it!
    I love that you call her snotbag lady. :)

  26. Dazee Dreamer
    October 30, 2010 | 5:08 pm

    I want to go to your hair place with you. We could both stir it up rather nicely

  27. Portia
    October 30, 2010 | 5:31 pm

    Who wouldn't want a sister wife? She can cook, clean, watch your kids. LOL

    I wouldn't want my husband to have more than one wife, namely ME, and I wouldn't want 19 kids. But whatever floats yer boat.

  28. The Adorkable Ditz
    October 30, 2010 | 6:37 pm

    That's hilarious. I wish I had the balls to do something like that. Personally I have my okays and not okays with the Duggars and the Browns.

    Fine about the 19 kids, but now with Michelle's health in distress after the last one I think she should get her tubes tied so she can be healthy for the kids she has.

    Their religious views aren't mine and that's fine, but it bugs me whenever I watch it and all they talk about is God.

    The Sister Wives, I honestly think as long as they're happy I'm fine. I just wouldn't want them to be those kind of polygamists that force their views on their children.


  29. Cassie
    October 30, 2010 | 7:10 pm

    I think all women need multiple men. The chores would get done a lot faster that way.

  30. Hot Tub Lizzy
    October 30, 2010 | 7:51 pm

    Good for you for putting her in her place. I don't want 19 kids. Ugh. But if someone else wants them, and can care for them (as they obviously can) then more power to them….

  31. jayayceeblog
    October 30, 2010 | 8:25 pm

    Wish I had been there. Sounds like you go to THE best salon! I want to see Sister Wives. Saw the family on Oprah and, for crying out loud, these are consenting adults, doing what they want, and not illegally since he's only legally married to one of them. It would be like calling a guy with a mistress and other kids a polygamist. I don't know much about the Duggars, but if it works, it works.

  32. Canis Majoris
    October 30, 2010 | 8:29 pm

    Awesome post!!! I think I work with your snotbag lady!

  33. Myya
    October 30, 2010 | 9:43 pm

    Reverse snob or just white trash… I was laughing out loud!!! I love the Diggars, I don't know if it is because my mind is boggled beyond belief that one actually has that many children or if it is because I am secretly jealous of the idea of getting to have that many. Sister Wives… seriously WTF. I watch this show because I can't stop. I am a bit sick to my stomach when I do watch it but I totally can't stop. All the wives seem really sweet & not complete morons so it leaves me wondering why they would chose an idoit like that guy. OMG he is basically a 12 year old boy don't you think! I love watching somone elses drama… as long as it isn't mine!

  34. mintifresh
    October 30, 2010 | 10:36 pm

    hahahahah That's awesome! Way to defend the underdogs! I would've done the same thing, especially if I was hopped up on caffeine!

  35. Me...Uncensored
    October 30, 2010 | 10:44 pm

    I applaud you!!! That was a priceless moment. I would have gotten up and snapped a pic of her on my cell, then announced that I was going to facebook the moment ;)

  36. -stephanie-
    October 30, 2010 | 10:51 pm

    You actually talk how I think, but I'm too chicken to open my mouth at times. Snotbag lady….love it!

  37. ella
    October 31, 2010 | 1:52 am

    It wasn't till I was well into my 40's ( so that would be last week) that I had the courage or self confidence to tell people where to put it. but I'm on a roll now. Onward!

  38. Anonymous
    October 31, 2010 | 3:24 am

    I LOVE your blog. YO have such a humorous way of telling stories!

    As for the Duggars. I am not overly fussed. I disagree with the fact that they have 19 kids. They may be blessed with chuildren, but there are so many in the world that need the help. After I had my two children I decided to adopt 3 gorgeous kiddos because, even though I wanted a large family (of my own), I thought there was someone else I could help instead of overpopulating our already burdened Earth. I guess it is their choice *shrugs*. However in heinsight they're doing a fine job of raising their kids and I suppose that is all soceity could ask for…

  39. Webster
    October 31, 2010 | 3:25 am

    I think the polygamist guy, Kody Brown, is only legally married to one of his wives. The other ceremonies were not sanctioned by the State. And now I hear that the State is investigating the situation. We all know nothing good will come of that.

  40. Opto-Mom
    October 31, 2010 | 6:30 am

    I think that as long as the Duggars are able to take care of their kids, they should be able to have as many as they want.

    As for Sister Wives, I LOVE the wives, but Kody always seems like he's playing for the camera…gets on my nerves a little bit. And he needs a haircut, because I keep expecting him to pull out his surfboard and start calling everyone, "dude."

  41. Deborah
    October 31, 2010 | 8:20 am

    I am obsessed with Sister Wives!

    I want to sit in that salon with you. May I since I have the same damn hair?

    I know several women like your snot-lady. Just because you drive a Hummer doesn't mean you have any brains in your head.

    I do admit that that type of woman totally fascinates me. I love to ask 'innocent' questions about their look.

  42. Stuff could always be worse
    October 31, 2010 | 8:28 am

    Funny story, you did speak up! Good for you. I have straight hair, for years spent $$ on trying to get it curly.

  43. Soccer Mom
    October 31, 2010 | 9:49 am

    HA HA HA I love it :) It's awesome that you spoke up. I think it's important that if people have an opinion and speak it they better be able to defend, explain and perhaps switch it if it's wrong :) I love that you were messing with "one of those" — btw I can't stand them either!! Reverse snobs unite

  44. Kerrie
    October 31, 2010 | 10:09 am

    I love you, you are fab! I have never heard the word boink but I think I need more of it.
    Where I live it's the ladies that make their own jam that scare me. They are all so perfect and have perfect ponies and wellies.If you can deal with snot bag can you pop over and sort out the Jam and Pony brigade.

  45. Joann Mannix
    October 31, 2010 | 10:26 am

    I love putting snooty people in their place.

    I, for one, wouldn't mind some sister wives. If we all had assigned jobs. Maybe if one wife did all the cleaning and one did the cooking and one took care of the children and one did everybody else's hair and makeup and they all left me to just while away my time on the computer, then I might just put up with that poofy haired douchebag man.

    And speaking of douchebags, oh that JimBob sets my sensibilities on fire with his sprayed hair and his constant impregnating of his wife. Now, here's the thing, I take no issue with their profuse amount of kids. What I do have a huge problem with is the way Michelle is raising those girls to see no other options but homemaker and mother. Did you know that each of the older girls has their own baby carrier? I come from a family of 7 kids and I can tell you, as much as my parents loved us, attention was in limited supply. I can't even imagine how they can give 19 kids the right amount of attention.

    I am never, ever one to pimp my blog. Ever. But I thought you might enjoy my spin on those crazy Duggars:http://laundryhurtsmyfeelings.blogspot.com/2010/01/what-to-do-with-duggar.html

  46. Steph
    October 31, 2010 | 11:01 am

    I'm totally pumped about the TLC special on Sister Wives tonight. Those people are absolutely insane.

    Way to go on showing her how's turf that actually is!

  47. The PWT
    October 31, 2010 | 3:05 pm

    I figure if you can take care of them and give them love you're entitled to as many children as you want.

    Though I do have issues about age simply because needing your parents doesn't end at 18, so I think it's unfair to have children at an age that is likely to leave them alone at a young age.

    As far as multiple wives… I could SOOO see the perks to that. Shared chores, shared child care, and the opportunity to say, "Can't you go sleep with someone else tonight?" Plus if money was an issue you have the potential for multiple incomes under the same roof!

    Props to you for making the snob as uncomfortable as they generally make the rest of us. Love it!

    Have a great Halloween.

  48. Rudee
    October 31, 2010 | 3:13 pm

    We could all afford to birth 19 children if we earned as much as the Duggar's who've sold their story to TLC, however, I would not want the reconstructive surgery I'd likely need to put my internal organs back in place.

    Love your site, and your sense of humor. It's been at least 100 years since I graduated nursing school, but it's nice to know there are people out there willing to take over the baton if I ever retire.

    Kristina P cracked me up. Must go visit her now.

  49. Lynne H.
    October 31, 2010 | 3:39 pm

    Ha!!! gotta read you more.. we think alike.. crap.. exactly alike..are you my sister?


  50. A girl needs 2 Talk
    October 31, 2010 | 3:47 pm

    :D :D Whoa!! Look at you! Am I impressed or what?!!

  51. Julianna
    October 31, 2010 | 5:34 pm

    We should never meet in life, there would be the need for bail money. -J

  52. Bridget
    October 31, 2010 | 9:50 pm

    Hi and thank you for stopping by my blog yesterday! I like "meeting" new bloggy friends. I have enjoyed reading your blog, you are absolutely hilarious!

  53. natalie
    October 31, 2010 | 10:04 pm

    Thanks for following my blog! I have to say yours is pretty much hilarious. :D Serves that snotbag lady right.

  54. David L Macaulay
    November 1, 2010 | 12:08 am

    The Snotbag lady – love it

  55. MacDougal Street Baby
    November 1, 2010 | 5:49 am

    Snotbags deserve decimation! Maybe we should form a group?

  56. Lady Fromage
    November 1, 2010 | 10:16 am

    I love Sister Wives :)

  57. Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com
    November 1, 2010 | 11:27 am

    Would have loved to be there and have seen the whole thing play out. FYI, I would have joined your team :)

  58. Christiejolu
    November 1, 2010 | 12:45 pm

    I have never heard of these shows but good for you for making snot bag lady feel uncomfortable!!! LOVE it!!!

  59. Pamela
    November 1, 2010 | 1:10 pm

    Way to play the devil's advocate! I love it! I'm not a fan of The Duggars or Sister Wives but if they're content to live their lives & they don't seem to be hurting anyone, it's no one else's business to judge them for it.

  60. DCHY
    November 1, 2010 | 2:23 pm

    Haha…sounded like a serious case of "Eat (bleep) and die" except she did it to herself. ;)

  61. AmyLK
    November 1, 2010 | 3:52 pm

    Oh I wish we lived closer! i would have SO loved to start trouble with you!

  62. MommaKiss
    November 1, 2010 | 4:36 pm

    STIR IT sister!
    snotbag lady sounds like a douche anyway…I'd have done exactly what you did. I'm a stirrer.

    Not gonna lie, though, that duggar vag is kinda like a clown car. [saw that on a poster, not my own, but 'tis true].

  63. Woman In The Midst: Raw
    November 2, 2010 | 4:05 am

    I wonder if "snot lady" will be returning to the salon?? Hahahaha!
    And just for the record, everything I've read about the Duggar's is awesome and bottom line is, it's their life. If they want 19 kids, if they want 50, have at it! They're raising them quite well and THEY'RE raising them, not the state. Kudos to the Duggars and next stop for "snot lady," the emergency room to get that stick pulled outta' her ass!

  64. Danielle
    November 2, 2010 | 9:21 am

    You sooooo rock!

  65. Semi-Slacker Mom
    November 2, 2010 | 10:17 am

    That is why you & I get along so well.

    I just want some of whatever kind of happy pills Michelle is taking.

  66. Jennifer
    November 3, 2010 | 2:42 pm

    You're bad!!! (I like it!)

  67. Sugar Mama
    November 5, 2010 | 9:35 am

    I find myself defending the Duggar family a lot, I don't know why. It's really none of my business. But, like you said they are doing it right. They are taking care of their children, taking responsibility for their obvious lack of birth control, and making it work.

    And, to be quite honest, sometimes I envy that family.

  68. Snuggle Wasteland
    November 6, 2010 | 9:57 pm

    I can't stand snooty people. That's why I avoid volunteering for PTA functions. Half of the moms at school are snobs and the other half are white trash. Wait a minute…I don't like those options. Nevermind. :)

  69. brainella
    November 7, 2010 | 8:27 am

    Have I told you lately that I love you? :)

  70. Marla
    November 7, 2010 | 10:49 pm

    Oh yeah, you and I would definately be friends if we knew one another.

  71. ~*Jess*~
    November 10, 2010 | 5:33 pm


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