A new show has begun airing on TLC.
It’s called “Sister Wives.”
pic courtesy of Google…I don’t actually know these people…
The premise of this reality show is the trials and tribulations of being a polygamist family.
Actually, that’s not even true. Other than the fact that society disapproves of the polygamist lifestyle and the people featured on the show have to accept criticism for their choices, these guys are not bellyaching one bit about their decision.
In fact, they are very happy.
Sister wives is the term attributed to wives who share the same husband.
In this particular situation, said husband is Kody Brown. And he has three wives.
Oh I know most of you out there started rolling your eyes to the heavens at the mere mention of the word “polygamist” and the only reason you have continued to read is because you are curious to see where I’m going with this.
I’ll tell you where I’m going: I’m going to find my husband another fucken wife!
These polygamists have the right idea.
Because really, who wouldn’t want a wife?
I want a wife!
In “Sister Wives,” the wives are very honest about this. One of the wives works outside of the home. She admits that she prefers being at work than being a homemaker. By having other wives on the home front, she’s free to pursue her career, and she knows her kids are being cared for. For free!
It’s free fucken childcare!
One of the wives is back in school getting her degree in psychology.
And of course, one wife is quite content to stay at home and take care of the children. So everybody has a role.
So based on this, I figure, I need to find Wayne a minimum three wives.
I need one who will wake up with the kids in the morning so I can catch up on my sleep from my late nights of blogging.
This wife can stay home and take care of all menial chores. And she can be home for the kids when they come back from school, awaiting their return with cupcakes and home-made cookies, because if there’s a wife at home all day, we aren’t going to be eating any of that processed shit. Only organic and home-made meals for us from now on!
I need one who will be on stand-by for those nights when one of the kids is sick with the stomach flu. She can pat their backs while they vomit and change their sheets when they’ve missed the trash can.
She can be the one running to them when they start coughing in the middle of the night.
She better run fast though, because I’m a light sleeper, and I’d hate to be awakened.
Anything that goes on after 11pm is hers.
Oh, don’t feel sorry for her. It’s not like she’ll never get to sleep.
She can sleep during the day while the homemaker wife is on duty.
The third wife would have a job at a multi-million dollar corporation, and she would be very generous with her income. She would buy me a nice shiny new car. Maybe a BMW or a Jag. Maybe both. You know, in case I get bored of one.
I’m sure the guys watching “Sister Wives” think that Kody Brown has it made. The dude rotates beds every night. Has sex with three different women.
What in the world could he possibly have to complain about, right?
He’s like a rockstar.
Well, when I mentioned to Wayne about the perks of having a few extra wives, his comment: “Why? So I can have more people nagging me? One is enough.”