A damn damsell wearing my dress…

On Wednesday evening, I came to the crushing realization that I am not, in fact, Super Woman.
I know, right? Shocking.
Because really, I totally thought I was rocking the tights, the cape, and the giant ‘S’ on my chest with complete aptitude.

When I came home that night from doing homework at the hospital, I went to say goodnight to my son, and was told in no uncertain terms that my giant ‘S’ was drooping.
His exact words, “Mom, you’re totally looking old. You have huge bags under your eyes.”

He’s right.
I’ve bitten off far more than I can chew this semester with fulltime studies, four children, a household, and a husband who works late hours.
But upon hearing those words, the unmistakable proof that my cape is indeed fraying, “Mom, you have huge bags under your eyes!”, a distinctive sound could be heard echoing in my head.

Of course I didn’t admit to anybody that I heard this sound.
It was probably my imagination.
Maybe I had stepped on a wrapper? A twig?
Something made that sound, but it certainly couldn’t have been my marbles rolling out of my ears onto the floor.
Marbles, come back!
I need you!
I have a six-page paper due in two days!

I smiled a weak, watery smile, said goodnight to the little douchebag darling, and did what any mature adult would do in this situation: I called my mommy.
And cried.

She informed me that yes, there does seem to be a small run in my tights, and maybe it’s time to hang up the uniform for awhile, and put on some flannel pjs.
In her wise words, “You’re not going to be any good to anybody if you break down.”

So I followed her advice, and with a heavy heart, I withdrew from part of the nursing program. I’m still attending theory classes, but I won’t be doing any hospital work until January.

So the next few days I’ve sort of been meandering along, sort of lost, sort of not.
I’m doing a lot of sleeping.
I’m doing very little homework.

And throughout all of this, my husband is looking at me through worried eyes.
“Are you ok, sweetie?” he keeps asking.
“Why do you keep asking me that?” I say.
“Because you seem so fragile.”

Me? Fragile?
Dude, I could bench press you.

I don’t say this, because honestly, I like it that he thinks I’m all needy and special.
I’m never special.
I just fly around up up high in the sky, delivering very intricately decorated cupcakes to classsroom birthday parties – because I’m a show-off like that.

I zoom through the street, a flash of hot pink (you don’t honestly think my tights and cape would be anything but hot pink, do you?) arriving in the nick of time to cheer this kid on at a volleyball game, then that kid at a hockey practice, then this one at a dance recital.

With the speed of light, I zip over to the school to meet the teachers.

…I’m not going to list the many activities that make up the day of every mother out there.
But suffice it to say, there are a lot, and now, apparently I look fragile trying to accomplish these.

I’m good with fragile. It makes me feel all kitten-like.
I don’t feel like I have to hold the car up with my bare hands while Wayne changes the oil.
Nobody expects me to go for a run with the dog because I’m fragile right now. I can’t run, I might trip on my pink fuzzy slippers.

Yesterday I found out that I won first place in a contest hosted by The Girl Next Door Grows Up for submitting my favourite post.

Of course, I’m thrilled! So thank you The Girl Next Door Grows Up for being such a generous and considerate blogger.
You gave me back my cape.
I feel like I should put the tights back on.
Look at me winning blogging contests while holding up cars with one hand and serving quesidillas for supper with the other.
But no. This is the lesson I must learn. I must know when to land safely on the ground and stay there for awhile.
And you know my husband, who normally grumbles when he’s not the feature in my blog post, is worried when he says, “It’s good that you aren’t in school fulltime right now. It’ll give you more time to focus on your blog.”
See. Fragile is good.
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57 Responses to A damn damsell wearing my dress…
  1. Bouncin' Barb
    October 11, 2010 | 8:17 pm

    No matter what anyone else tells you just having 4 children makes you Super Womam. You could sit on your butt all day but if you take care of 4 kids you deserve a freakin' star in the walk of fame. I had one child and while he was enough for 2 kids I still was exhausted most of the time until he started school. Always worrying, trying to keep things straight x 4 = Sainthood. So take a break. Put your feet up. Have a glass of wine while placing chilled cucumber slices on your eyes while soft new age music is playing. Woman, you are a Miracle Worker.

  2. theTsaritsa
    October 11, 2010 | 8:20 pm

    It's good that you realized you needed a break and you took it. So many people run themselves ragged trying to do everything.

  3. ChiTown Girl
    October 11, 2010 | 8:22 pm

    Aw, Sugar, you are definitely Super Woman in my eyes. Like Barb, said, just the fact that you have given birth to 4 children, and have since been raising them, you rock!!! I can hardly keep up with all I have to do for 1!

    Don't beat yourself up for lightening your load at school. Hell, I'd much rather have a nurse taking care of me that THOROUGHLY learned all she needed to learn than one who barely dragged her ass to graduation, and learned the bare minimum. :)

  4. Nicole
    October 11, 2010 | 8:29 pm

    It's not a contest. Really. And we all need to remember that. Awesome is not quantified by how many activities you can juggle. It's about how many of them give you and your loved ones real joy, satisfaction, and builds your bonds.

    Here's to the Superheroine in Pink Fuzzy Slippers!

  5. The Adorkable Ditz
    October 11, 2010 | 8:35 pm

    I feel you about being stressed too thin. I am glad you are taking care of yourself though, and you'll never be fragile to me, you will be a super woman to me. Hell you got four kids, that's super enough!


  6. Roundabout
    October 11, 2010 | 8:40 pm

    I understand how you feel. I don't know how to do "everything". I know I all try each day and feel like I've lost it somedays just tring to keep up! But its good to realize its ok to take breaks & enjoy what you've done thus far. Be proud of your self for all you do each day. Better to be able to enjoy it then race through it & go crazy in the end!!

  7. Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds
    October 11, 2010 | 8:42 pm

    Never give up the cape, it totally takes the focus off of any under-eye baggage!

  8. Jewels
    October 11, 2010 | 8:53 pm

    Every now and then we need to take stock of where we are and how thinly stretched we are. As woman we multi-task. We take it all on. We are strong. It's good to be able to admit when you need to cut something to make more time for yourself. Your mother is right, you are no good to anyone if you break down. Being as we are super heros, all women are, it is so amazing to let your man believe you are fragile and let him care for you. It just proves our true strength that we allow them to do this. I'm glad you are taking steps to be a happier, healthier you!

  9. Deborah
    October 11, 2010 | 8:57 pm

    Good deal!

    Now, go bench press your husband!

  10. Julianna
    October 11, 2010 | 9:10 pm

    Even super heros need a break sometimes. At least, that's what they tell me. Congrats on your winning! -J

  11. Canadianbloggergirl
    October 11, 2010 | 9:19 pm

    Everybody at least once has a moment in time that they can not perform EVERYTHING at the same time.

    You'll have your cape and your tights back in no time….you'll even rock a crown.

    There is no doubt in my mind that you are awesome at everything…..but space it out a bit….you have a long life ahead of you and you don't want those "huge bags under your eyes" to outshine your crown now do you?


  12. Korey
    October 11, 2010 | 9:40 pm

    Your husband sounds great! LOL
    Aww… wouldn't it be wonderful if we could actually accomplish all of the things we have planned in our heads? I think a lot of us get told that we are trying to do too much too often. Big hugs! I hope things calm down for you soon. :)

  13. Confessions of a Closet Hoarder but you can call me Judy
    October 11, 2010 | 9:42 pm

    A little clear nail polish and a well deserved slow down in life will keep your tights from running any further. :)

  14. Kristina P.
    October 11, 2010 | 9:43 pm

    I would never call you a loser! Well, to your face.

    You hang in there. Sounds like it was the right decision.

  15. Jane
    October 11, 2010 | 9:48 pm

    4 kids, a house, a husband, AND school? I admire you! Get some rest. You'll get that degree soon enough!


  16. Mik
    October 11, 2010 | 10:11 pm

    I agree with Barb about having four kids makes you super woman, we have four grand kids running around and it is all I can do to keep up.

  17. Crazy Brunette
    October 11, 2010 | 10:13 pm

    You whore! Its all i can do to keep Mr. CB from COMPLAINING about my blog… Wish the fucker said I could concentrate more on it. THAT one might even get him laid!

  18. Anita @ GoingALittleCoastal
    October 11, 2010 | 10:39 pm

    Better to take a break now then to break down later. Four kids make you super woman already. I have 3 so I speak from experience. But throw in my hubby and a dog and it's really like 4.

  19. Holly Ruggiero
    October 11, 2010 | 10:50 pm

    It’s just your mild mannered disguise, that’s all. Congrats on the win.

  20. Woman In The Midst: Raw
    October 11, 2010 | 11:04 pm

    Fragile is a good thing.. Took me many, many years to accept (didn't really have a choice, cancer sorta' showed up and said, hey you, slow the fuck down!) Kudos to you for being so much smarter, so much sooner, than I. ;)
    Nothing is more important than YOU Superwoman!

  21. Just Plain Tired
    October 11, 2010 | 11:12 pm

    Full time parent and full time student is a tough row to hoe. It looks like your finding a balance between the two, especially with the holidays 'round the corner.

  22. Life with Kaishon
    October 11, 2010 | 11:21 pm

    Oh my word. Mother of 4. I think you are pretty much a super hero for that alone : ) Hope you can rest and relax soon. Life is short. Make sure you are enjoying as many moments as you can! : )

  23. Another Day of Crazy
    October 11, 2010 | 11:31 pm

    Take the down time, and enjoy it. Because soon enough, the hubs and kids will be back to normal (which means expecting you to put the cape back on.) Besides, this way you get to escape the hospital during flu season. So I say well done, you smart thing you! You were rocking the perfect timing and didn't even realize it!

  24. SkippyMom
    October 11, 2010 | 11:48 pm

    Pshaw' – you are always going to be super woman to me. You're amazing, truly – and very smart to drop a part of the nursing program. It will still be there in January, no worries – or even the summer. You're fine – and yes, fragile IS good. :)

    hugs to you my darling – and congrats on your award. You deserve it.

  25. Leslie Limon
    October 12, 2010 | 12:00 am

    Awww! Every blogger I "know" wants her Hubby to say something like that!

    And congratulations to you for winning! :)

  26. International Woman of Mystery
    October 12, 2010 | 12:40 am

    It sounds like you are doing a pretty goodnjob at being superwoman eve if you had to drop a couple things? And anyway, who said superwoman isn't fragile?

  27. Jessica
    October 12, 2010 | 5:45 am

    Love your babies and eat some cake! ;-)

  28. Hazel
    October 12, 2010 | 6:59 am

    It sucks about you having to cut out some of your course but I think it'd benefit you more to take a break right now. It's less stressful!

    Hazel xxx

  29. Mamma has spoken
    October 12, 2010 | 7:52 am

    Congrads on the award!
    Believe it or not, you will miss these days. It will be a long time from now, but it will come.

  30. nitebyrd
    October 12, 2010 | 8:26 am

    I find it very wonderful that you have both a child and husband that worry and care about you so much. I totally sighed and had a melty moment when you wrote he thinks you're "fragile". Glad you're going with it because what your mom said is very true.

    Take care of yourself, girl! Congrats on the award. You SO deserve it!

  31. Hazel
    October 12, 2010 | 9:09 am
  32. HulaBuns
    October 12, 2010 | 10:03 am

    Congrats!!! You rock and totally ARE a Superwoman!! It takes a very smart (and strong woman) to know when they are in too deep and to get out of it before you start drowning. Good for you for being so smart, talented, creative, shall I go on? :)

  33. Cruella Collett
    October 12, 2010 | 10:11 am

    You know what, I think you should keep the cape. You clearly are being Superwoman as it is, and if giving yourself a little time to recuperate is what you need right now, then no one can claim it makes you less of a hero. I hear even the original Superwoman sometimes just hung out with Superman in his castle of snow and ice (though I may have my superheroes mixed up – what would Lois Lane think if she knew?).

    Anyway, I know everything about having too much on my plate, and it sounds like it was the right decision you made. (And you get to play payback with your son once he is all grown up, with lots of kidoodles of his own and you get to be SuperGrandma who hands the grandchildren back when you're tired…)

  34. Kelly
    October 12, 2010 | 10:42 am

    Too many moms pile up their plates thinking they have to accomplish all this stuff to be a good mom (to be valued? loved? worthy?)…

    I'm glad you've forced yourself to put on those slippers and just take a breather.

  35. Quirkyloon
    October 12, 2010 | 11:11 am

    Well I give you a lot of credit for DOING something about it. Usually women REFUSE to lighten the load.

    I think you rock!

    And hot pink? Really? You struck me more as a lavender gal. Might I suggest polka dots? *grin*

  36. Myya
    October 12, 2010 | 11:50 am

    We have all had those call mom moments. We need that slight crack to catch us before we full on crumble. Hey since you have some time freed up wanna come sweep & vaccuum for me? JK, what am I saying I only have 3 kids & no school I should be perfectly capable… oh thats right I am just lazy most of the time LOL.

  37. Kimberly
    October 12, 2010 | 12:03 pm

    If superman tells you that he never took a day off or lightened his load then he's full of shit. We all need this to survive and I am so glad that you are able to take a step back and nurture you. That?! That makes you super.

  38. aims
    October 12, 2010 | 12:05 pm

    don't feel bad!!! you're so awesome!! i too dropped out of college this year to homeschool my kids and i felt the same but our job is HUGE!!!

  39. Linda Medrano
    October 12, 2010 | 12:23 pm

    Honey, my son's wife and you should talk. My son is a partner in a law firm and his wife Kate is a stay at home Mom. They have four kids too and Kate is the primary care giver for them because of John's long hours. I honestly don't know how she does it. Now you throw a tough school program into the mix and wow! All I can say is that you are a Superwoman! Slow down just a bit and you'll be able to re-charge. Fragile? Hah!

  40. Joann Mannix
    October 12, 2010 | 12:34 pm

    I, too, pride myself on my super powers. And as I have just recently learned, it's okay to be fragile sometimes.

    I know leaving part of your nursing program might feel like a kick in the gut right now, but it's just a temporary thing and I truly believe that our paths are already set in place before us. There's a reason for this and you just have to trust in that reason. Keep your eyes open and you'll see it soon enough.

    And congratulations again on winning the contest. You totally deserved it. You kick ass writer, you.

  41. twelvedaysold
    October 12, 2010 | 12:37 pm

    What a good family you have!

  42. RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild
    October 12, 2010 | 12:50 pm

    Sounds like you have a great mom and hubby, Super Woman!

  43. Teisha
    October 12, 2010 | 1:15 pm

    I had to take a nap after reading this. Exhausting.

  44. SoccerMom
    October 12, 2010 | 1:40 pm

    Hang in there. I think your pretty awesome. Sounds like you just need a night off. :)

    Being that your blog is titled absoutely narissism, have you thought about participating in HNT?
    Just an idea. Anonymous creative outlet.
    : )

  45. Nancy@el vigilante
    October 12, 2010 | 2:48 pm

    First, thanks so much for visiting my blog and leaving a comment (I'm the lady with the newly-sided chicken coop.) Very nice of you — so I'm returning the favor. Hey, I used to be a city girl and didn't know squat about chickens either. That does not make one stupid, just unitiated. And yes, chickens are pretty. :) Congrats on the contest win — and, wives who have husbands that not only notice they are fragile, but occasionally treat them as such — are both very fortunate indeed.

  46. Kristy
    October 12, 2010 | 3:00 pm

    Thank god for kids' honesty and reminding us when to slow down!! :)

  47. A girl needs 2 Talk
    October 12, 2010 | 3:02 pm

    Yay!!! Yay for winning!!! My dear girl, I'm looking at that profile picture and wondering HOW you can be a Mom to 4 kids! you're very pretty! Wear the pink cape and strut around! I'll whistle!! :D

  48. McKenzie
    October 12, 2010 | 4:29 pm

    In my eyes you are still Super Woman! Dealing with 4 kids, going to school, and cleaning up around the house?! Yep, Super Woman.

  49. Gigi
    October 12, 2010 | 6:17 pm

    As always, mom is right. You can't be any good to anyone else if you breakdown. Take it in smaller bites – it'll still get done, and you'll still be sane.

  50. Charlene
    October 12, 2010 | 8:09 pm

    You have taken on too much by yourself. I have a friend who has done everhthing for her children and husband and worked full time all her life. She never let anyone help her.

    When I was married [no kids full time job] keeping a house and entertaining our friends was a big job. My husband always helped me clean the house and set up for guests as well as clean up. When it got too much for he two of us, we got household help.

    There is nothing wrong with taking help.

  51. Susan Fobes
    October 12, 2010 | 9:17 pm

    You are not alone in your quest to be super woman-I think it's a curse that women pass on to their daughters, but I'm glad to see you decided to take care of yourself.

    BTW-thanks for stopping by my blog. Don't worry-I'm not serious very often :)

  52. bananas.
    October 12, 2010 | 10:13 pm

    BAHAHAHA!!! oh lady you had me laughing throughout this post…not on the serious life stuff but on this…

    "little [scratched out]douchebag darling"

    LOL. you're funny! and your hubby…it's good to know just how much he appreciates your blog.

  53. ournextchapters.com
    October 13, 2010 | 1:07 am

    Ahh… the super mom cape. I have a hard time taken that one off as well. There just seems to be so much to do… and I want my kids to have and experience everything… I want them to have those special cupcakes at school… and to have their mommy at every practice and game. I totally get it! but yes… bags under eyes = need rest! rest up!

  54. Semi-Slacker Mom
    October 13, 2010 | 10:24 am

    I don't see how you do it. I could never go back to school & still deal with all the crap going on around here. And blog too. You are Superwomen in my book. And congrats on the win!

  55. Booyah's Momma
    October 13, 2010 | 1:08 pm

    Good for you, although I'm sure it's hard giving up some of your classes.

    I'm thinking of burning my Supermom cape in protest. Kind of like what they did to bras back in the day. Heck, since my boobs have gone awol after having kids, maybe I'll burn the bra while I'm at it.

  56. cornflakegirl74
    October 13, 2010 | 2:08 pm

    I'm also glad to hear that you are taking a break for awhile. Your mom is right and you want to be there–both in body and in mind–for your family.

    And also: I think the fact that you realize you are unable to handle everything and still be there for your family… I think that makes you a Super Mommy :) You are doing an amazing job.

  57. The Girl Next Door Grows Up
    October 13, 2010 | 2:23 pm

    I am happy to give you the honor of winning because you totally deserve it. I can't believe I have never heard of you before. SO many of my blogging friends told me that I made a GREAT decision with your post (Joann included.)

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