Too soon for a midterm meltdown?

It’s my first day on campus at the university since the middle of July. I am officially a third year nursing student.
I walk into the nursing building and say to my girlfriend, Jen, “So do you know where they’re having orientation today?”
She replies, “It’s not orientation. It’s an actual class.”
“Class?”
“Yeah. Class.”
“Fuck.”

We get into the class, and when we’re seated, I say to her, “So what class is this?”
“It’s ’Maintenance’.”
“Maintenance? What the hell is that?”
She shrugs and hands me a piece of paper and a pen for note-taking, because she knows I came here armed with nothing more than a bottle of Diet Pepsi, enough money to buy my new pink American Apparel hoodie with faculty logo, and a backpack of textbooks from last semester that I was going to sell back to the bookstore, until Jen stopped me to inform me that we will still be using them again this year (to which she added, “Unless you aren’t planning on doing any of the readings.” She knows me so well. I prefer ‘googling’ whatever I don’t understand.)

The teacher comes in and begins: “This class will require a lot of A&P knowledge.” A&P is short for anatomy and physiology.
“You will need to know what the endocrine system does,” she continues, to which I look over at Jen, and whisper, “I don’t even know what the endocrine system is.” Jen gives me that sympathetic you’re-a-moron look.
She’s right.
I am.

The teacher goes on to say, “When I ask you what the liver does, I expect you to know its seven functions.”
I look to Jen. “Seven?”
The teacher continues, “Telling me ‘It cleans out stuff’ isn’t good enough.”
“Well there goes my answer,” I whisper.
“You will need to step it up this year,” the teacher warns.
I snort. Jen gives me another sympathetic look and a shoulder pat.

Now this is the difference between me now and me a few years ago: at the end of this little bootcamp speech, the old me would have handed back the pen and paper, picked up my bottle of Diet Pepsi, and hightailed it out of there. I would have marched myself right to the registrar’s office where I would have promptly withdrawn from the course, and decided that the sociology department has a really hot teacher. I’ll major in that instead of pursuing nursing.

Instead, the new, more mature me, looked around at all the other students.
Nobody was packing up their stuff. Nobody was even fidgeting nervously. Everyone stared straight ahead at the instructor, undaunted by the curriculum.
So I figure if the nitwit in the back of the class with the bleached blond tips isn’t scared, then I can do this too.

I know though that I’m going to have to study with Jen every weekend to bone up on my A&P.
This means sacrificing something.
I have too many balls in the air right now: four kids, my blog, taping and watching General Hospital every day (did you guys know Sonny and Brenda are getting back together! Weeee!) training for a competition, dieting for said competition, which pretty much depletes my brain of the ability to think, never mind thinking about internal organs and their functions. All seven of them!

I’m irritated that I have to give something up. I’m irritated that I have to learn about the endocrine system.
Oh, I know you’re thinking, “What did you think you’d have to learn about if you wanted to be a nurse?”
Well, I want to be a labour and delivery nurse. I thought I’d have to learn about vaginas.

I’m not giving up my blog. I love this blog. I love writing. I love meeting new bloggers. I love the validation. You’re stuck with me.

On that note, I’d like to thank Molly over at “Cynicism Isn’t an Option, it’s a Lifestyle” for giving me the Bloody Brilliant Award.

I was immediately drawn to Molly’s blog. Of course I would be, right: cynic meets narcissist. We were practically made to mate.
This terrific lady’s wit coupled with the experiences she shares, from her  observations of human behaviour at Costco to being beaten with an old sneaker by a priest, leave me quite literally wiping tears of laughter from my eyes.

See, this is why I’m resentful about the endocrine system. And the liver. When will I have time to stalk catch up on my favourite reading if I’m busy memorizing their functions…like that’s really going to help me out when I’m holding a labouring woman’s legs in the air?
Really?

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44 Responses to Too soon for a midterm meltdown?
  1. Kristina P.
    September 11, 2010 | 1:04 am

    DO you get to say urethra a lot?

    And Sonny is still on GH?!?! I used to think he was so hot.

  2. Momma of Three {Kenna}
    September 11, 2010 | 1:28 am

    I totally sympathize with you, and i haven't even started Nursing school yet, And I am totally glad you aren't giving up your blog! I LOVE it!

  3. Momma of Three {Kenna}
    September 11, 2010 | 1:28 am

    I totally sympathize with you, and i haven't even started Nursing school yet, And I am totally glad you aren't giving up your blog! I LOVE it!

  4. The Girlie Blog
    September 11, 2010 | 1:45 am

    So sorry you have to give up blogging! Congrats on the award though. The liver has 7 functions?

  5. Ameena
    September 11, 2010 | 1:46 am

    You are my hero for so many reasons, but mainly because you want to be a labor and delivery nurse. I can't imagine…I just have no words to express my amazement that you can actually do this!!

    I wish life didn't get in the way of blogging. I'd be SO much happier.

  6. Miley (woman:confused)
    September 11, 2010 | 2:32 am

    unfortunately, the endocrine system and childbirthing are totally related lol.
    On the upside, you at least have your friend Jen.
    And you're not giving up the blog, yippee!!
    I'm also have a "mid-term" meltdown but I just finished week 3. Of my 4th semester. Props to you!

  7. sexylegsandbody
    September 11, 2010 | 2:49 am

    I hope you stick to painting your toe nails the same way you are sticking to your blog… :) and not like you attend nursing classes…

    Seriously, I am glad you are going to keep on blogging, I couldn't help but laugh at your post about cussing when blogging, really great.

    Thanks for your comment on Fergie, she is sexy, wish she would read my blog though, maybe it will serve to convince her to add some color on her toe nails… :)

    Have a wonderful weekend Sandra.

    Colin.

  8. Confessions of a Closet Hoarder but you can call me Judy
    September 11, 2010 | 3:11 am

    Study hard! We need nurses who know all about the endocrine system. :)

    Glad you're not giving up your blog!

  9. Theres just life
    September 11, 2010 | 4:10 am

    Just how do teachers expect you to study the endocrine system, when there is so much else that need to be done. Can't you get nursing credits for watch General Hospital… Come on the name even says Hospital what more do they want.

  10. Deborah
    September 11, 2010 | 5:24 am

    I'm in school as well! The first day I always want to throw up.

    Then I start passing notes and giggling. Yeah! I love being a grownup.

  11. Mamma has spoken
    September 11, 2010 | 5:31 am

    It all might seems un-needed at this time but if for any other reason, you'll need to know this crap to pass your boards. Then you'll never forget the said crap. And when you are a nurse, reading a report on the laboring mother and you see those words on the paper, you can say, I know that crap.

  12. Canadianbloggergirl
    September 11, 2010 | 8:21 am

    Ok so yeah ummm…..never stop this blog, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!

    btw, good luck with your liver function knowledge!

  13. Chickensconsigliere
    September 11, 2010 | 9:03 am

    Good luck with the A&P stuff. If it is not too much trouble, could you post some photos of the hot Sociology professor?

  14. Slacker Mom
    September 11, 2010 | 9:34 am

    Good luck in nursing school. Its tough but if you've made it this far I'm sure you got it covered.

  15. Laura @ The Things I Said I'd Never Do
    September 11, 2010 | 9:47 am

    Phew. I thought you were going to announce a hiatus. That would mean two of my favorite bloggers would have announced a hiatus in one day. I wouldn't have been able to go on (Since I like your blog more).

    Good luck with school. I would have left the class crying. And I have no idea what the liver does.

  16. bluzdude
    September 11, 2010 | 9:57 am

    I think "Cleans out stuff" is a perfectly good answer.

  17. Joann Mannix
    September 11, 2010 | 10:12 am

    As I was reading your post I couldn't help but think of Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde.

    I'm so glad you're not giving up your blog. The blog world would be less sparkly without you here.

    And labor and delivery nurses are the angels of the medical world, of this I am convinced. They are the true deliverers of babies. They were always the ones I focused on when I was brining my babies into the world–not the doctor, not even my husband, but those nurses who did this day in and day out, who knew, really knew. Good luck. Just keep those balls juggling.

  18. SkippyMom
    September 11, 2010 | 10:27 am

    YAY! I say give up one of the kids – that'll lighten the load – send 'em here – I need an extra my dang house is so empty with just Wallene left [God love her, I am surprised she isn't dead yet from all the smothering.] hee

    Good for you for sticking with it – we need more l&d nurses and I have to agree with the others they are the angels in the room when you are delivering. I have had a few doctors that I wish I could've punted just to have the nurse deliver my babies [not all docs, just a few] so I hope you get to where you want to be. :D

    And if you ever stop blogging, please remember one thing. I have a cane and I do know how to use it. eh? heehee

  19. Mo 'Betta
    September 11, 2010 | 11:02 am

    Good luck, nursing school pretty much sucks. Then my nursing boards were all abt "delegation" and very little actual "nursing facts". Whatever. I got through it and so will you! AND I was a l&d nurse for a little while!

  20. WannabeVirginia W.
    September 11, 2010 | 11:04 am

    So glad you will continue blogging. You could always blog about what you know cause the more we know. I may need a drink, oh wait it is only 11:00 a.m. Is it noon where you are?

  21. Jackie
    September 11, 2010 | 11:31 am

    Well crud. I'm toying with going back to school to become a midwife (which means I'll probably try L&D for a hot minute before the extra classes to get to CNM status). it freaks me out to start back in the academic world though. C'mon, next post inspire with how wonderful it is!

  22. Poppy
    September 11, 2010 | 11:53 am

    I've always had difficulty picturing you as a nurse because I just can't see you emptying a bedpan or dealing with bodily fluids. However, I think you will rock the labor/delivery gig.

    I vote to give up the competition. I like you a little more mortal and I prefer to be only slightly jealous of your physique rather than want to scratch your eyes out jealous. xoxo

  23. McKenzie
    September 11, 2010 | 11:57 am

    Thank you for not giving up your blog =]

    Good luck with your 3rd year! You'll do great!!

  24. BeMistified
    September 11, 2010 | 12:07 pm

    This is nursing school? I can just imagine what I am going to have to go through for Mortuary Science school, and those people aren't even alive!

  25. ModernMom
    September 11, 2010 | 12:14 pm

    All of that work, it will be worth it in the end! You just think of yourself as a super hero hon, you can do it!

  26. tattytiara
    September 11, 2010 | 1:56 pm

    Perhaps the liver, like little poops, sometimes pops out when the woman pushes really hard?

  27. Molly Malone
    September 11, 2010 | 2:17 pm

    Just hang in there kiddo!

  28. Momma Fargo
    September 11, 2010 | 3:49 pm

    Great post! Glad you able to multi-task just like the liver! You go, girl!

  29. K(Banterings of a Basketcase)
    September 11, 2010 | 4:50 pm

    When I was finishing up my master's in teaching I gave up cleaning house and cooking. Something had to go.

    As far as learning crap you don't think you need to know- you'll need to know it. It's all interconnected. dammit.

  30. Julie
    September 11, 2010 | 7:51 pm

    hey sandra. thanks for stopping by my blog (smothermother). looks like a got a new blog to stick on the reader. bloggers really are narcissists, aren't they? never really thought of it.

    can't imagine going back to school full time with 1 kid let alone for. good god woman! you're a machine.

  31. beloved Mama
    September 11, 2010 | 8:42 pm

    I'm in school too- though- just Human Development- no disecting (did I even spell that right?) or body studying for me… You go girl! Glad you'll still be blogging so I can keep laughing- great stress reliever!

  32. gayle
    September 11, 2010 | 9:13 pm

    I don't know how you will get it all done but I know you will!! Good luck!!

  33. Veronica Lee
    September 12, 2010 | 1:20 am

    Hi! I'm a new follower of your awesome blog.

    Have a nice day!

  34. conflictedmeangirl
    September 12, 2010 | 1:26 am

    I love Molly and now I love you, but WTF does a girl have to do to get one of those red phone booth? So what if I got accidentally featured once. I want the phone booth.

    oh, and I've had some real doozies for nurses (including the one that swore I wasn't in labor right up until the point she went to place a bedpan and found my daughter basically waving at her) I'm sure you'll be a better nurse than she is, even if you don't know what the endocrine system is.

  35. Gina
    September 12, 2010 | 7:36 am

    I hated the studying part but now that I am a nurse I am so glad I stuck with it. You will be great. Your no nonsense attitude will be fantastic in the practical settings of a delivery ward. Just DON'T GIVE UP THE BLOG! You've got to have balance and so do we. How would we cope without your witty sarcasm!

  36. Matty
    September 12, 2010 | 5:28 pm

    For a brief moment reading this, I thought you were going to say that you were taking a break from blogging in order to make room for the school work. Sigh of relief here.

    I commend you for not giving up. After all, if that blonde in the back can do it, so can you.

  37. Busy Working Mama
    September 12, 2010 | 7:47 pm

    I love google. I am a google fiend. Don't give up the blog, I so enjoy reading you!

  38. Snuggle Wasteland
    September 12, 2010 | 8:24 pm

    There is no way I could go back to college and I definitely couldn't major in nursing!

    I went into speech pathology because I only had to take one math and one science class. I barely passed those back when I was young and my brain still worked half the time.

  39. Julianna
    September 12, 2010 | 9:06 pm

    Seven. Really? This is why I am just a mail lady. -J

  40. Another Day of Crazy
    September 12, 2010 | 11:16 pm

    Good luck! You'll need it- that and a couple of stiff drinks! I'm in the middle of my PhD, going on 8 long on-off again years. Chin up! (oh and don't drool on your textbooks while you're sleeping- teachers hate that more than snoring. Not that I'd know…)

  41. TV's Take
    September 13, 2010 | 12:19 am

    You will be a GREAT l n d nurse – not only will you make it hilarious you would make the experience fun! kuddos for sticking with nursing school – must be difficult. Thanks for stopping by today

  42. Danielle
    September 13, 2010 | 1:31 pm

    I want to be a nurse too, but I wuld fall into the "old you" catagory! Darn it!

  43. Lourie
    September 14, 2010 | 1:11 am

    I would totally have bolted. I had no idea the liver had SEVEN freaking functions! Now I have to look it up.

    Career tests always point me in the direction of nursing…but I am a germ-a-phobe and squeemish about projectile bodily fluids. Yeah, I don't think it's a good match for me. LOL

  44. Brooke
    September 18, 2010 | 11:06 pm

    you are such a great writer….I hear the english dept. has some cute professors if Nursing doesn't work out…the only problem is most of those brooding, tall, dark , and handsome professors are gay. shoot! :)

    So glad you haven't given up on your blog in the midst of such a busy semester!

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