No I'm not!

I’m very proud to report that the post I submitted to the lovely ladies over at Friends You Love about my BFF of 34 years, has been selected as one of the finalists! This is so exciting!
So if you don’t want to burst my bubble and risk me transforming from obnoxious yet adorable narcissist to quiet wallflower over in the corner, I suggest you vote.
And vote often!

So in my last post, I mentioned how I had gone to see a doc for my RLS. I was so busy bitching about his goofy pre-diagnosis prayer and the fact that he wanted me to clarify the symptoms of my RLS in no less than 33 descriptive words, that I forgot to expand upon another of Dr. Neurologist’s annoying little habits: the repetition of my age.
My age.
Yes.
My age.

He kept repeating that I am 41.
Yes.
I am.
I know this.
And yet, when I heard it said aloud, over and over again, it caused me to jolt. Over and over again.

“So you’re forty-one, and you’ve had this since you were four?”
JOLT.

“You know, at forty-one, there are a lot of hormonal changes beginning to occur in your body.”
JOLT.

“So at forty-one, you are most probably experiencing some premenauposal symptoms.”
Premenauposal?
JOLT. JOLT. HEAD DOES A COMPLETE 360.

It’s not that I don’t realize I’m forty-one. It’s just that in my every day, normal activities, I don’t tend to think it, say it, or remember it.
It’s not like I go around saying I’m younger than my age.
As a matter of fact, sometimes it’s fun to point it out to people when they’re making a point of blaming their age for their weight gain, lack of ambition, bad haircut, poor choices, and/or elderly fashion tendencies.
That’s when the bitch factor climbs to a 9 on the 0-10 scale and I proudly proclaim my age, all the while flashing my abs.

No, these aren’t mine. As if I’d post mine: you’d all think me terribly narcissistic if I did that….plus, mine are better.

However, that little word “premenauposal” said in conjunction with my age, has lead me to wonder if the good doctor is indeed correct.
Maybe I am premenauposal.
That would explain a lot.

It would explain why the mere sound of my husband’s voice provokes thoughts of violence when I’m PMSing.

It would explain why the PMS is no longer the week preceding the one before my period, but extends throughout, the following, and sometimes into the week after that.

It would explain why the week that I’m not PMS, I’m balling my eyes out teary-eyed over everything from helping my daughter with her math homework (because really, it’s been how many years since I did this shit! Am I really supposed to not only remember it, but know how to teach it to her so that she remembers it in 30 years?) to getting a cold Big Mac.

So maybe I am just premenauposal.
Well, whatever it is, hopefully it passes soon.
All this crying is giving my family the impression that the only thing that makes me happy is the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

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48 Responses to No I'm not!
  1. bonnie 'Marilyn' parker
    September 25, 2010 | 12:52 am

    :( that is not bad.
    my mom is in her fifties now and i always get sad when i think about how she must miss her youth. actually it makes me sad when anybody misses their youth cus when you're young (like myself at this time) you don't know what you have. it seems infinite, age.

    i hope you feel young forever and stay young at heart until your last minute in life.

    and kudos on those killer abs ;)

  2. Me, myself and I
    September 25, 2010 | 2:00 am

    Congrats on your post being a finalist!
    Damn, he was such an irritating doctor to admit he may be right totally sucks.
    I gave you a blog award! You can read all about it in my last post!
    Thank you for being hilarious. I love your blog!
    Jess

  3. Chocolate Covered Daydreams
    September 25, 2010 | 2:29 am

    I will hold your hand through it…because I think that I'm either going through it or on the verge. I just had a serious crying/laughing moment that lasted 15 minutes….unexplainable. I think if I was at your doctor's office, he would've kept repeating, "You're 47, and you've had these symptoms for how long???"

    Congrats on your nomination. I'm off to vote.

  4. Busy Working Mama
    September 25, 2010 | 6:41 am

    I voted. I'll vote on my laptop, too, in case it recognizes me if I try to re-vote in the same day. I'm sure it's not that smart but you never know with computers. I'm just a CPA.

    And now you must publish a photo of your abs. Thinking about mine is going to send me on a 4 mile run with the jogging stroller right after breakfast.

    Although I'm surprised you didn't make some snarky comment to the doctor. Surely you did. Maybe it was so good it will be an upcoming post :) Crossing my fingers!

    Oh and HAPPY WEEKEND!!

  5. Just Plain Tired
    September 25, 2010 | 7:04 am

    I'll vote for you, and stuff. I went to see my daughter the other day, who's in college, and she asked me what I knew about chemistry. She was angling for help with homework. I told her relying on me on that subject would get her a failing grade. :)

  6. Julianna
    September 25, 2010 | 7:36 am

    Yeah you on the post! Not so yeah on the perimenopause. I've been in it since I was 31. Good times… good times. -J

  7. Canadianbloggergirl
    September 25, 2010 | 7:40 am

    Congrats on the nomination! I'll certainly vote for you! I absolutely love your humor, my hubby and I laugh at each and every post.

    That damned Dr. should have gotten a black eye.

    My mom started (the M word inserted here) at 34, she had me at 29! But it hit full swing when I was in college. She has been through it all. Having gone through it all, she is a stronger woman for it. So chin up, it gives you a great excuse to say what you want and get away with it!

    canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com

  8. Mamma has spoken
    September 25, 2010 | 7:51 am

    Yes you are premenauposal because you are not menauposal or postmenauposal, DUH! I have found most recently, that this is their way of blaming everything on being a woman. Makes me want to pump them up on estrogen and see how they like it but then they would blame all this on my menaupose that I've been going through the past, oh 4 years!

  9. The Chicken's Consigliere
    September 25, 2010 | 7:51 am

    Your BFF post was a great tribute. Congrats on being a finalist-I hope you win. I've left pre behind and am now fully into peri. Sucks.

  10. Debbie(single;complicated)
    September 25, 2010 | 8:21 am

    I will happily go vote!!!!! and If I were you I would tell every one my age!!!!! you rock!

  11. Madame DeFarge
    September 25, 2010 | 9:24 am

    I dread realising that I am at the age to be premenopausal. I know that I am, but it's still something that I want to ignore.

  12. Gigi
    September 25, 2010 | 10:39 am

    If those are the symptoms for being premenopausal then sign me up. Especially, the one about hubby's voice…..

  13. Quirkyloon
    September 25, 2010 | 10:52 am

    "So maybe I am just premenauposal.
    Well, whatever it is, hopefully it passes soon."

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    I'm sorry, you were trying to be funny, no?

    LMBO! Pass soon? Silly girl menopause is for…ever!

    kidding!

  14. Pragmatic Spector
    September 25, 2010 | 10:55 am

    Even though I'm a new follower (so my opinion probably doesnt count), I had the impression you were still in your 30s. You better watch out for pre-menopausal symptoms! When my mother went through them at 50, she went from being skinny as a stick to a whale! Because her hormones were going through such a shift that her ventromedial part of the hypothalamus just wouldn't work right!

  15. Another Day of Crazy
    September 25, 2010 | 11:43 am

    "Plus, mine are better"

    Made me snort coffee through my nose. Thank god it missed my laptop, or I'd have some explaining to do to my boss!

  16. Debby@Just Breathe
    September 25, 2010 | 12:06 pm

    Hope you win! The thing about menopause is that they don't have any real answers about it.
    They have no time frame of when it starts or when it's over. But even if that's happening you still need to have something to STOP RLS! Can't just say that's the reason so move on……..

  17. Portia
    September 25, 2010 | 12:34 pm

    I've already passed that mile marker called "menopause" and it is better on this side for sure. I like telling people I am 51, too, although there will be NO abs flashing, ever!

  18. Kristina P.
    September 25, 2010 | 12:36 pm

    I will definitely vote for you. But I am warning you, I voted for The Hoff on DWTS, and he was the first one voted off.

  19. Monkey Man
    September 25, 2010 | 2:11 pm

    Who is this idiot…no not you and the "I'm 41 years old" rant…Dr. Doofus. He has all the bedside manner of a mortician in an old folks home and that might be giving him too much credit. I have two words for him – Dumb Ass.

  20. Busy Working Mama
    September 25, 2010 | 2:34 pm

    OK you inspired me. I ran 3 miles to the playground with Lily. But then I made Adam pick me up in the car. There are a lot of hills, and you didn't inspire me THAT much. Lily had to pee in the bushes while we were there OR ELSE. That was awesome. Thanks for stopping by!

  21. BeMistified
    September 25, 2010 | 3:04 pm

    Okay, okay put the gun down. Look I voted "Thanks for voting!" Now back away slowly, slowly. Whew. Haha!

    Doctors, shmocters I say!

  22. Carol
    September 25, 2010 | 4:13 pm

    I'm always surprised when someone reminds me of my age, not that I don't know, because of course I do, I'm premenopausal not stupid. Yesterday my friend reminded me that I will be 47- cause apparently I need reminding, and at that moment I was like " holy shit- is she really talking about me?"

  23. ModernMom
    September 25, 2010 | 5:01 pm

    Congrats on the nomination! How fun!! Now I am 39 and have been blaming my massive mood swings and weirdo illness' on pre menopausal stuff for about 2 years. lol I say embrace it!

  24. Donna @ The House on the Corner
    September 25, 2010 | 5:27 pm

    Does your idiot doctor know that roughly 10% of the population has RLS – and that it is hereditary – and that contrary to his belief – people who are a) not over 40 and b) not female – also have it. Go find yourself another doctor – get a prescription for some meds (I take Requip). Having gone through entire nights where my legs were hurting so bad that even standing on them didn't help – I'm fully convinced that people who suddenly go on killing sprees have RLS – there were some nights that I seriously considered killing everyone before I had medication that worked – and oh by the way – I've had RLS since I was twenty, my mother had it and so does my (under 40 year old male) brother……

    I'm done now :-)

  25. Michelle
    September 25, 2010 | 8:41 pm

    I totally just voted for you!

  26. Jill
    September 25, 2010 | 9:02 pm

    LOL!! Congrats on being a finalist! That is FABULOUS! You're a hilarious writer and totally deserve it. Voting now!

  27. Jillsy
    September 25, 2010 | 10:37 pm

    Firstly….Congrats and good luck ~ achievements like this don't happen every day, at least not in my world! Secondly ~ thank you for dropping by my place earlier to say hi and I hope tomorrow's breakfast for you and your fam will totally rock all your worlds! Thirdly ~ this is the only post I've read so far, but I will definitely be coming back for more ~ and lastly ~ so very nice to meet you!

  28. Colie's Kitchen
    September 25, 2010 | 11:37 pm

    Hi I am Nicole from ColiesKitchen.com I found you on a blog hop and wanted to drop by and say hi. I really like your blog, and am now a new follower. I would love to have you stop by Colie’s Kitchen if you get a chance.

  29. frigginloon
    September 26, 2010 | 12:14 am

    I too am doing a drive-by. My intention was to shit in your nest but after reading your post on age and menopause, I think you successfully shitted in mine. Thanks a friggin lot :(

  30. Confessions of a Closet Hoarder but you can call me Judy
    September 26, 2010 | 12:25 am

    I, for one, would love to just skip this decade of hormone imbalance. Wanna join me? Maybe, if we sign a petition….

  31. Daisy
    September 26, 2010 | 12:25 am

    Hang in there. Those visits to the Dr. get more and more fun! I'm 51, and I'm SOOOOOOO tired of the doctor and everyone else telling me how old I am!!

    Thank you for visiting my blog today! :-D

  32. Rayna M. Iyer
    September 26, 2010 | 12:56 am

    I just loved your post!!!

  33. <br><br><br><br><br>Dr.Sameena Prathap
    September 26, 2010 | 1:15 am

    Hi Sandra,

    My first time here..Am new to blogging..beautifully written…

    Dr.Sameena@

    http://www.lovelypriyanka.blogspot.com

  34. LeeAnn
    September 26, 2010 | 6:22 am

    Congratulations on your post making it to the finals! I will head over and check it out.

    I hate it when doctors annoy you like that, and then when you calm down and think about it, you find that they actually may be right. It has happened to me more than once. I hope you figure out what is going on and that you can get rid of your RLS. I'm sure that is horrible.

    Great blog! I'm following now. :-D

  35. Julie
    September 26, 2010 | 7:09 am

    voted. not for you, but i voted. ;-)

    postmenopausal, hun? i know those words are coming my way soon. my mom started at 35 and me sister 38. at 39 i've beaten the odds and got a few extra years. ugh.

  36. Mo 'Betta
    September 26, 2010 | 9:57 am

    OMG, I think we see the same dr! Mine did the same thing, except it was "at 40, things start to change", "when you reach 40", etc. HEELLLOOO – I'm only 38! And when I pointed that out he gave me one of the smiles that said "yeah, whatever". Shmuck.

  37. Jamarah Crafty Creations
    September 26, 2010 | 10:15 am

    Hi just calling by from your latest follower Via Sunday Blog hops. Love meeting new bloggers. Great post. Congrats on being a finalist. Hope you are having a wonderful weekend so far.Be sure to check my blog out http://www.jamarahcraftycreations.blogspot.com
    Sarah.

  38. Kathy English
    September 26, 2010 | 10:42 am

    Sandra, thanks for visiting me at momcrusades :-)

    HA! Don't you love it when doctors keep harping on your age? I'm also 41. Did I mention I'm 41? Anyway, when I was in my 30s I started getting peri-menopause handouts from the ob/gyn. I just tossed them away. My current ob/gyn tells me that at 41, I'm too young for menopause.

    Because I'm clueless, and haven't yet explored your blog beyond the current post here, what is "RLS"?

    I hope you feel better, re: the mood business. Been there, doing that! Dontcha love those food cravings that last for four weeks instead of four days, simply because of irregular cycles?

    Congrats on making finals for your BFF post :-)

  39. QueenieM
    September 26, 2010 | 12:58 pm

    Totally hear you on the not feeling your age thing. It's only a number really … right … please say yes ;)

  40. Holly Ruggiero, Southpaw
    September 26, 2010 | 2:23 pm

    Whether or not the doctor is right, it was just wrong to keep repeating your age.

  41. Semi-Slacker Mom
    September 26, 2010 | 4:37 pm

    You look like you're 21! And Lord, if I can blame bitching & moodness then I'm premenopausal.

    Going to vote!

  42. Poppy
    September 26, 2010 | 5:17 pm

    I enjoyed your post and all, but now I have the unnatural desire to see your abs. I get all fixated like that.

  43. EnVii
    September 26, 2010 | 9:00 pm

    thank you for stopping by i am now following you back

  44. Shelley
    September 26, 2010 | 9:03 pm

    I am your newest follower. I hope you can follow me back at http://mylifeadventurebyme.blogspot.com/ and check out my giveaways. Have a great rest of your weekend.
    God Bless,
    Shelley

  45. Sara @ Domestically Challenged
    September 26, 2010 | 10:00 pm

    Awesome! Nothing like chucking it at you over and over, huh!? Its your life and you'll be hormonal if you want to.

  46. Danielle
    September 27, 2010 | 11:17 am

    Ah yes, 40ish, but we look like we are 30 so pfffftt to age!

  47. Snuggle Wasteland
    September 27, 2010 | 3:03 pm

    Congrats on your nomination!

    I keep asking my doctor if I'm perimenpausal and she keeps insisting I'm just crazy. Who knew?

  48. Tooje
    September 28, 2010 | 9:46 pm

    Did you mention that you were 41?

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