I got a comment on one of the posts I published recently pointing out the fact that I hadn’t sworn once during said post.
Really? Not one swear word?
Well fuck me.
Of course this got me thinking about the use of cuss words and their value as a means of communication. Every once in awhile I’ll come across a blogger who will drop an F-Bomb during the course of a powerful, charged post. And then they’ll apologize for their use of profanity fearing they may have alienated a follower.
So if you’re going to swear as a means of expressing strong emotion:
a) don’t fucken apologize afterwards. It’s kind of like saying that you’re lactose intolerant, then saying, “Hey! Let’s go for ice cream!”
b) be comfortable with your reasons for using expletives in the first fucken place
See, I swear regularly. I have for years. My friends would consider me pretty laid back and very few things bother me. I attribute this to the fact that I alleviate stress and frustration by punctuating most of my sentences with some formulation of the “F” word, be it: ‘fuck,’ ‘fucken,’ ‘fucking,’ ‘fuck that,’ which is sometimes combined with other expletives to form the ever popular ‘fuck that shit,’ ‘fuck! shit!,’ and ‘you’ve got to be fucken shittin’ me’.
I do understand, however, that some people are very discomfitted by the use of profanity. And I respect that. Sort of. I say this because one of my best friends is a good, Christian woman that I’ve known for 4 years, and the one and only time I heard her use the word ‘asshole’ was when she was describing a patient who had attacked her at the hospital where she is a nurse, and I was so proud of her for exhibiting such passion that I hugged her.
But that’s happened once, and I’m quite certain it’ll never happen again.
So when I’m with her, I do try to control the profanity. But I must look like I’m having an appendicitis attack while doing so, because eventually she’ll say to me, “Just be honest, Sandra.” So respect or not, usually a couple of fucks and assholes make their way into our conversation.
I always know I’m going to like someone within the first few minutes of an exchange if they swear while in my presence.
Because swearing represents a release of emotion. It’s intimate. It’s authentic. It shows that you like me enough to say what you really mean. You aren’t putting on airs.
Now this is not to say that people who don’t swear are fake. As previously mentioned, plenty of people have never said the word ‘fuck,’ not even while performing the verb. To those people, I’m sure you release your frustration and stress by…I dunno…painting?…gardening?…kickboxing?…
I’m talking about people who swear behind closed doors, but to your face, they’re all “look at me so sweet, and pretentious, and look at my impecably phony manners.” Manners. Bite me.
Occasionally I’ll receive comments, which not only make me smile, but give me warm-fuzzies due to the author’s honesty and uninhibited use of the F-Bomb.
Just yesterday, my friend Poppy over at Funny or Snot wrote: “Fuck you for outdoing me, but you are forgiven because you complimented my ass. XOXO”
See! Now that’s what I’m talking about! There is no pretention there. Just straight-forward, shooting from the hip honesty and authenticity. She tells me to fuck off. No hard feelings. Then sends me hugs and kisses. I could very well marry this woman because there would be absolutely no passive aggressive bullshit to contend with. Just a “fuck you! Wanna piece of cake?”
Queen of the Rant over at The Relationship Rant wrote: “I fuckin love you!” Now that’s praise. Not just a very lovely, “I love you.” No. I got a “fuckin love you!” Expression of adoration in its purest form, unencumbered by the censorship of genuine thought and emotion.
While on vacation in Orlando, I met one of my fellow bloggers, Jen from bootyandbrains. Within moments of meeting, we were comfortable and at ease with one another, as though we had known each other for years. Of course this is in part due to the intimate nature of reading each other’s blogs regularly, but also because neither of us felt intimidated by the use of expletives to exhibit the passion of our thoughts and the excitement of our meeting.
Swearing is liberating. I know it’s not for everyone. And some people come across as comical rather than impassioned. My mother is a perfect example of this. Although she’s said the word ‘fuck’ maybe twice…no…no…probably only once in her entire life…I still remember it as being the cutest thing to see. Like she was wearing a clown suit with humongous floppy shoes and a big red nose.
So try it. Don’t be shy. Close the door. Hide in the closet. But say it with me: Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Feels good doesn’t it.