I say Justin, you say Bieber…Justin…Bieber…

Oh yes, I’m going there.
Actually I went there.
I’ve just returned from the Justin Bieber concert with my 10 year old daughter and her best friend.
Don’t judge. It was an act of kindness. Only good things will happen to me from now until the REST OF MY LIFE!!!!!

While we were waiting in a lineup to get through the doors to go to the concert, two police officers approached the crowd. I’m not sure why or what prompted it, but suddenly the mass of tweens started screaming with excitement, moving forward. I assumed Justin Bieber had entered the building. The hysterical tweens swarmed forward, completely undeterred by the armed officers standing before them. It was like a wave of bodies pushing behind and all around me.
I was scared.
This is not how I want to die: trampled by thousands of size 4 flip flops.

Once inside the venue, I took out a notebook and started blogging sat quietly and observed all the little girls buzzing with the excitement. They were like laboratory rats on crack.
It was fascinating. Every time the DJ would come out and start up with his, “When I say Justin, you say Bieber!”all the wee Bieber bots would scream his name endlessly. And loudly.

One 12 year old girl was wearing a wedding gown with a veil. Seriously.
The bride of Bieber?
My question here is: where was her mother when she left the house dressed like Bridezilla? Was the mother not aware that her daughter was trying to bag herself a husband before even completing middle school?

Finally Justin Bieber comes out in a giant hamster wheel.
This boy is cute. I mean he’s fucken cute. But not sex symbol cute at all. I don’t even know what’s up with that?
He’s quite small. And he was wearing this little white pant suit. It looked like one of those sleepers I used to put on my kids when they were infants; you know the ones with the footsies.
I had to fight back the urge to rush the stage and swaddle him in a receiving blanket.

So that having been said, it was kind of hard to take him seriously when he would croon to the prepubescent crowd, “Any single girls out here? Who wants to get close to me?”
Ummm…hey Justin. I do!
Because I did. I desperately wanted to lick my fingers and smooth that pesky strand of hair that kept falling  into his eyes.
At one point the DJ launches into, “Whose in love with Justin Bieber?”
In love? The majority of these girls haven’t even begun menstruating. I think love is a big word. How ’bout “Who thinks Justin Bieber would be fun on a date?” or “Who thinks Justin Bieber has underarm hair?”
But not whose in love with Justin Bieber. That’s a bit much.
However, my usually very quiet and very docile daughter, flies off her seat, and screams, “I am!”
For a split second, I thought she was going to launch herself into the audience and crowd surf her way to the stage.
Instead she settled for taking my cell phone and waving it back and forth as a testament to her love for Justin.
It was a good evening. It was fun to see my daughter, who is normally so reasonable and logical, and calm, scream to Justin, “Throw me your fucken tshirt!”
…no, she didn’t say that, nothing even close to that.
But wouldn’t that have been a fucken hoot!
If all goes well though, the tinnitus in my ears should have subsided by Friday. 

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65 Responses to I say Justin, you say Bieber…Justin…Bieber…
  1. The Zany Housewife
    September 15, 2010 | 1:19 am

    Hats off to you for taking your daughter and enduring teeny bopper infatuation. I forsee nothing but good Karma coming your way.

  2. Kristina P.
    September 15, 2010 | 1:20 am

    YOu have a lot of faith in these girls. Not begun menstrating? I'm guessing several have an oral sex ring going.

  3. bonnie 'Marilyn' parker
    September 15, 2010 | 1:29 am

    <3 love those last five sentences.

    i never understood the beiber hype. i never will, i think. nsync and britney spears were the heat when i was coming up and it was a phenomenal frenzy so i guess it's just not my generation.

    he's a cutie, like if he was my little brother i'd love punking him. but i don't understand the sex icon appeal. i love how nobody thinks twice that he's hanging out with late 20 something year olds, 30 year olds.
    but the man those guys looked up to (musically) michael jackson that is, if he was seen in public with a kid, everybody questioned his motives. it's strange.

    i agree with kristina about the oral sex ring. little girls now are not so innocent and it's disturbing.

  4. Miss Innocent
    September 15, 2010 | 1:46 am

    omg hahahaha justin beiber!! hahaha well i admire you for being proud to share this experience!

  5. Ash
    September 15, 2010 | 2:02 am

    LOL! for tweens, he's a sex symbol, i guess. i also see nothing but a lil cute toddler who hasn't even broken his voice. >.<

    baby baby ooohhhhhhh….no no i'm not a bieber fan. :p

    ~ash's mum

  6. The Girlie Blog
    September 15, 2010 | 2:33 am

    Awww! So cute! zfending from all the screaming tweens just to spend QT with your daughter.

  7. Cyrene
    September 15, 2010 | 5:49 am

    I agree. Nothing but good things coming your way for the rest of your life just because you endured a Justin Bieber concert. I'm afraid I will not be able to do the same for my daughter. Lol.

  8. Queenie Jeannie
    September 15, 2010 | 6:47 am

    Since I don't listen to the radio, I have no clue what any of his music sounds like. But I've seen him in interviews and that was enough. More than. Just the latest bubble-gum pop poster boy. *yawn*

    I'd rather have a root canal. You must really love your daughter!!!

  9. SkippyMom
    September 15, 2010 | 6:54 am

    There is just something about him that squees me out. He like a Disney animanicon gone bad. y'know?

    My daughter bought one of the teen magazines and it had a poster of him in it. I walked into her room later that night and she had the poster hung up but with his face cut out [she liked the person in the photo that's why it was up]. Guess that means I won't be availing myself of any of Mr. Beiber's musical stylings anytime soon [thank God!]

    You are a good Momma.

    [And yes I made Wallene take down the Beiber poster because the only thing more creepy than a Beiber is a headless Beiber.]

  10. Carlita
    September 15, 2010 | 7:25 am

    It was exactly as you posted it! haha I was thinking the same thing when the DJ was screaming who is in love with Beiber… we were sitting up in the nosebleed section that I am sure is close to an 80 degree angle (at least it felt that way when you stood up) and I thought the child I had brought was going to fling herself down the steps as she jumped!jumped!

    What we do for family and friends

  11. JennyJenJen
    September 15, 2010 | 7:54 am

    ugh justin beiber.. He is a tea cup human.. he's like a little tater tot. I just dont get it.

    But you are a good mom for taking your daughter to this rediculous concert :P you do indeed get karma points for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!!

  12. Cruella Collett
    September 15, 2010 | 8:29 am

    Haha, bless your soul! I have only ever heard one – ONE – song of his, and it was enough to make me consider moving to a deserted island where the Bieber couldn't reach me ever again!

    And I know about his HAIR – gosh, it must be terribly annoying to get it in his eyes all the time. Poor kid!

  13. Snuggle Wasteland
    September 15, 2010 | 8:33 am

    The girl wearing a wedding dress and veil is worse than all the 6 yr. olds running around Disney wearing Mickey ear hats with veils attached.

  14. The Princess of Sarcasm
    September 15, 2010 | 9:03 am

    OMG….HILARIOUS! I am dying laughing. My youngest son gets called Justin Bieber all the time. But he's only in the first grade and doesn't care about girls…so he hasn't embraced it. I am trying to talk him in to dressing as JB for halloween. He's not going for it. Probably a good thing….I don't want to have to hire body guards for trick or treating. ;)

  15. Jewels
    September 15, 2010 | 9:04 am

    I suppose this is what it is to be a mother of a tween these days. I commend you. I am not a parent, but I have to believe a parent's love for their child is the only thing that would make an adult go to a Justin Beiber concert.

    Personally, it sounds like its own special circle of hell. I guess I was just as bad when I was young, but I don't remember wanting to start a stampede over New Kids on the Block. Kids were different then. I was happy to have giant pins, bed sheets, and sleeping bags…I didn't need to rush his car and start riots over anyone. Scary. Just scary.

  16. Cristy
    September 15, 2010 | 9:11 am

    that is so freaking gross about the girl in the bride outfit. It gives me the heeby geebies.

  17. Rebecca
    September 15, 2010 | 9:34 am

    When I say Justin, you say underarm hair! Justin!

  18. Portia
    September 15, 2010 | 9:41 am

    Boy does this bring back memories for me! My daughter was a HUGE N'Sync fan back in the day and I took her to quite a few concerts. The screaming girls probably left me slightly hearing impaired for life, but it was so worth it to me! Since we homeschooled AND we lived in Boy Band Heaven (Orlando, FL) we would go to every local event looking for boy band members.

    My daughter is 25 now, married and pregnant with a little girl. Hopefully she will have wonderful memories like these when she grows up!

  19. nitebyrd
    September 15, 2010 | 9:46 am

    You're a very good mother. It's amazing that this kid got his start on YouTube. My daughter was all over New Kids On The Block. I wouldn't go to their concert. I took her to see Skid Row and Pantera instead. It was a bonding experience.

  20. An Imperfect Momma
    September 15, 2010 | 10:09 am

    Oh. my. goodness. I really dont get this Bieber hype. Hes cute but like 5yr old cute. Love your post!

  21. Heather
    September 15, 2010 | 10:11 am

    I have given you a blog award! Have a great wednesday. If I can stop by later to read you post I will….kinda in a hurry right now, but want you to know I think your blog is awesome!!!

    Heather from Mommy Only Has Two Hands!

  22. Pamela
    September 15, 2010 | 10:29 am

    Dude, the receiving blanket comment… It doesn't get much better then that. I'm totally going to tweet and announce to FB people that this is a MUST READ!

  23. Molly Malone
    September 15, 2010 | 10:35 am

    You are a good mom – I don't think I could ever love the product of my loins enough to go to a Bieber concert…

  24. Big Fat Gini
    September 15, 2010 | 10:39 am

    Ha, Bieber Bots!

    You deserve an award AND a crown with glitter for enduring that!

  25. Cindy Lou Who
    September 15, 2010 | 10:39 am

    How Come I haven't found your blog until now? I love it!!!

    I am taking my 10yr daughter and her friend to Justin Bieber next month. So I can totally sympathize and get what your saying. Thanks for the run down so now I know what to lok for. Love it!

  26. Katy
    September 15, 2010 | 10:46 am

    That is soo Cute!!!

    I feel like because my first concert was NKOTB I have no room to judge any of the popular tween performers and the tweens who love them.

    Last year (two years ago maybe?), my daughter the Jonas Brothers. Its a right of passage.

    I will say, that the popularity of Beiber is the only one that just goes completely over my head. I mean the kid is 16 and he looks and sounds like he's 12. I find that to be … odd. Like instead of screeming girls he should be rushed by grandmothers who want to pinch his cheeks. I just can't look at that baby face and see him a pop artist.

  27. Phoenix
    September 15, 2010 | 10:52 am

    ROFL You have a special place in Heaven waiting for ya!

  28. Maggie S
    September 15, 2010 | 10:55 am

    You are a cooler mom than me…and I am pretty sure I like it that way, although…if I knew when I was gonna have a migraine, I could schedule concerts with screeching little girls then.

    My 13yos are on record as hating JB. But I am suspicious that it is a front.

  29. Matty
    September 15, 2010 | 11:02 am

    God bless you. My wife just took her 17 year old daughter to her first concert to see Eminem in New York. They still can't hear a thing two days later.

  30. Joann Mannix
    September 15, 2010 | 11:51 am

    You had me at white pantsuit! Gaaa, I love you!

    I was gasping throughout this post! It was ridiculous in the funny!

    Did you hear that Miley Cyrus music has caused seizures in someone. I'm thinking the same about Justin. Or at least from the sound of the thousands of shrieking prepubescents.

    Who thinks Justin has underarm hair. Effin Brilliant!

  31. Drew's Mom
    September 15, 2010 | 12:30 pm

    Hilarious!! You are definitely getting the Mother of The Year award for that one. Certainly braver than most.. Lol

  32. Soccer Mom
    September 15, 2010 | 1:23 pm

    Wow. I feel your pain…not Justin Beiber pain, exactly, but I had to sit through a Miley Cyrus concert last November. It was horribly painful, too, b/c she was "sick" and barely had a bit of life to her…I'll take a theater full of screaming tweens who are obviously having fun to a large theater of parents realizing they spent HUNDREDS of dollars for this bad time. Thank goodness my daughter tried to enjoy it or I may have thrown her into the crowd myself. And she doesn't even like Beiber **YAY ME!!**

  33. Mom of the Perpetually Grounded
    September 15, 2010 | 1:24 pm

    I agree, You get mother of the year! My high school girls just don't get the Bieber. My 15 year old was saying, "what's up with that, he's like, our age but he looks 12!" So I think I'm safe from the hamster ball: )

  34. Dazee Dreamer
    September 15, 2010 | 1:44 pm

    hahahah, hehehehe,snort, snort, hahahaha.

  35. SoccerMom
    September 15, 2010 | 2:01 pm

    Damn your awesome, cause I would have said hell to the NO!
    My tattoo girl wanted to go see Brittany Spears when she was in jr high.

    I can tell you that she never got to see her.

    There was no way I was going to go there.

    Just couldnt do it.

  36. Modista Modesta
    September 15, 2010 | 2:02 pm

    That is a hoot – I don't even know who this kid is. My daughter is 19 but even when she was a teen didn't go for the cute guys, she would steal my NIN, Queen and Hootie and the Blowfish CD's – It was all retro a few years ago, and that was fine with me.

  37. Modista Modesta
    September 15, 2010 | 2:05 pm

    Your twitter Follow Me button goes to @yourlink ??

  38. Ami
    September 15, 2010 | 2:14 pm

    Some blogs I read cause me to just… live vicariously through the person writing.

    Not this time, however.
    This time I am cheerfully saying better you than me.

    Way better.


  39. K(Banterings of a Basketcase)
    September 15, 2010 | 2:44 pm

    I agree with you. He's cute, in an infantile baby boy way. I also actually like his voice. Some of his songs make me want to cry since they are too grown up for a baby to be singing (eenie meenie miny mo LOVER).
    True story- I was watching the awards the other night and thought "oh that girl has cute hair" then I realized that girl was Justin. LOL

  40. Danielle
    September 15, 2010 | 3:39 pm

    My girlfriend skipped a soccer game of ours to take her daughter to his concert. This is wrong on so many levels. First, come on now, you can't miss soccer for a 12 year old boy when you are in your 30's and second, I had to google him cause I had NO idea who he was!

  41. Poppy
    September 15, 2010 | 6:10 pm

    His testacles haven't even dropped, I don't really get the fascination. You are a better parent than I. I would have left my daughter at the door to fend for herself and headed to the bar.

  42. Mo 'Betta
    September 15, 2010 | 6:47 pm

    yes, my girls have Bieber fever as well. you are now THE most awesome mom for enduring a JB concert. My girls even have my 2 yr old son singing 'baby, baby'! your take on the maternal feelings during the concert were hysterical! JB ROCKS!! haha, just kidding

  43. Semi-Slacker Mom
    September 15, 2010 | 7:54 pm

    I hadn't even heard that baby, baby song until I fast-forwarded through it on the VMAs. I took Sass to see the Jo Bros a few years ago. It was bad enough without a DJ encouraging tween raging hormones. My ears were ringing for 3 full days. no lie. We are awesome Mommas!

  44. Crazy Brunette
    September 15, 2010 | 8:35 pm

    That is TOO fucking funny!!!! Hell, guarantee your ass that my 3 year old would've done it just for the sake of saying 'fuck'!!!!

    He is such a teensy thing! What the fuck were they thinking??? Love? Um. No. Fail.

  45. Mamma has spoken
    September 15, 2010 | 8:46 pm

    This so reminds me of when the boy bands were so damn hot! I had friends who had daughters who were so in love with each and every singer and made goals for their lives just so they could meet one and marry them. These friends would take their daughters to the concerts and stand for hours outside hotels and such just to get a glimpse of the stars. Well those stars are now no more. In fact how many can you name? Hopefully this kid has a good financial manager because he is going to need all that cash in 10 years when everyone laughs when his name is brought up in Trivial Pursuit.
    But I am proud of you taking her, I just want to know, did you keep your shirt down :o )

  46. Glam-O-Mommy
    September 15, 2010 | 9:15 pm

    That is hilarious! I especially love the visual of being trampled to death by tiny flip-flopped feet! :)

  47. Pamela
    September 15, 2010 | 10:23 pm

    Wow Sandra, I really admire your tolerance for putting up with that crappy music – but hey, it made for a terrific blog post! I'm still dying over your wanting to wrap him in a receiving blanket remark!! He IS very babyish, in a totally annoying, most likely to be hooked on crack cocaine before turning 18 kind of way!

  48. Julianna
    September 15, 2010 | 10:29 pm

    You say Justin, I say "No". You say "Beiber", I say "Hell No". You say Beiber Bots, and I laugh my F*****G ASS OFF! -J

  49. BeMistified
    September 15, 2010 | 10:56 pm

    Hats off to you!

  50. Confessions of a Closet Hoarder but you can call me Judy
    September 16, 2010 | 1:06 am

    "Who thinks Justin Bieber has underarm hair?"


  51. Julie
    September 16, 2010 | 8:25 am

    good grief this made me laugh! and you have a special place in haven for taking the girls and stting through 2 hours of bum fluff music.

  52. McVal
    September 16, 2010 | 8:37 am

    LOL! I experienced this kind of pandemonium at an Aly and AJ concert for my girls a few years ago. I know! Who are they!? No one was screaming if they loved them or not, but the ringing didn't leave my ears for weeks…

  53. Andrea (ace1028)
    September 16, 2010 | 10:06 am

    Oh dear me. I cannot tell you how thankful I am that my daughter is too young to fall for the Beibster. Seriously. He's like 12. Although I guess he's 16. But really? He's 12. I can't believe you survived. That's an amazing mom if I've ever heard of one. You deserve some sort of sainthood, or at least an award, right?

  54. mintifresh
    September 16, 2010 | 10:28 am

    You are a much nicer mom than me! I could not stand being in that room with all those screaming girls! We went to HSM3 in the theater just after it came out and I wanted to get on a very tall building and shoot student nurses after that one! (I admit, I really like the movie, tho)

  55. Quirkyloon
    September 16, 2010 | 11:05 am

    "death by size 4 flip flops"


  56. MissEmy
    September 16, 2010 | 11:14 am

    He looks and sounds like a little boy, hehe. :P

  57. jadenotjaded
    September 16, 2010 | 11:48 am

    You're hysterical! I can't even imagine you pumped up on the sugar from my cupcakes!
    My band of choice was the New Kids on the Block, remember them? Justin Beiber? I must be getting old!

  58. Yum Yucky
    September 16, 2010 | 7:49 pm

    whoa. dat baby looks freaky.

  59. Busy Working Mama
    September 16, 2010 | 10:14 pm

    Oh god, is this what I have to look forward to years from now? SAVE ME!1

    No really, I'm glad you all had fun. You're such a good mommy!

  60. Monkey Man
    September 17, 2010 | 4:52 pm

    This is so fucken funny. I wouldn't know a Justin Beiber song if it launched itself out my arse. I do know that he is the butt of may jokes that come out of my 17 year old daughter's mouth and I can't wait to share your blog with her. "When I say Justin….you say Sucks"….now that's more like it. Disney creation.

  61. Candice
    September 18, 2010 | 10:37 am

    This post was very funny. I love your sarcastic style of writing…as do others- obviously!!

  62. Laura @ The Things I Said I'd Never Do
    September 19, 2010 | 11:31 am

    You really should get the best mom ever award. Back in the day I asked my mom if she would take me to the New Kids on the Block concert. She laughed at me and walked away.

  63. Tooje
    September 19, 2010 | 1:17 pm

    I won't even go to the place that makes me angry at all things media and sex. That being said, I had a five year old tell me just a couple of months ago that Justin Bieber is smokin' hot. SERIOUSLY?

    She then swore me to secrecy because her mother told her she wasn't allowed to "say that".

  64. Discovering the Me in Mommy
    September 20, 2010 | 12:24 pm

    What a mom!

  65. Leslie
    October 9, 2010 | 5:52 pm

    This whole entry had me dying. LOL

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