Hello! I'm right here!

Had an appointment to see a neurologist yesterday. It would seem the last doc I saw about my Restless Leg Syndrome didn’t like the medication I’m taking, so he referred me to a doctor who could prescribe stronger meds.
As long as stronger meds mean they knock me out at bedtime, I’m cool.

My appointment was at 7:15pm. I arrived at 6:40pm.

When the receptionist sees me, she lets out this excited, “Oh!” which I took to mean, “Good, we can get you in sooner.”

As I’m filling out the form, the receptionist picks up the phone and tells the doc that I’ve arrived.
She hangs up from him, and calls someone else, and I hear her say, “I’m sorry you weren’t able to make the last appointment, but if you can get here in the next few minutes, we can squeeze you in.”

My eyebrows raise.
Ummm…hello? I’m right here. I’m early. Squeeze me in.

But I don’t say anything because I also hear her say to the person on the other end of the phone, “Well, would you like to reschedule for another time then?” which to me, would mean that the person can’t make it tonight, so I’m next.

I go and sit down, confident that I’ll be called into the doc’s office, since nobody else is even in the waiting room.
There’s a big screen tv on the wall, and it is now 6:45pm, and the commercials are warning advertising that Dancing with the Stars is coming on at 7pm.

Please God let me be in the office by 7pm..

And here’s your host Tom Bergeron.

A Brazilian wax would be far less painful than watching David Hasselhof sashaying his big butt all over the stage. Badly.

The receptionist calls my name.

I enter the doc’s office.

These are his first words upon hearing the reason for my visit:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

…huh?…I just want drugs. For my legs. ‘Cause they wiggle at night.

Doctor Neurologist asks me to describe what exactly I mean by Restless Leg Syndrome. How do I know it’s Restless Leg Syndrome? How does it feel? Am I sure it’s Restless Leg Syndrome? Who told me it was Restless Leg Syndrome?

Buddy, I do the can-can  in my sleep. It’s Restless Leg Syndrome.

When he finally pulled his head out of his self-important ass long enough to listen to my list of symptoms, which I was describing as tingly, itchy, restless, throbbing, achy, shooting, kicking my husband in the chins all night, the doc then said, “Is that everything?” to which I replied, “Is that not enough?”

At that point, he looked up, smiled indulgently, and said, “Do you have any neurological problems?”
…uummm…Restless Leg Syndrome maybe?

When it was all said and done, he said the medication I was taking was fine.
Actually, “Why fix what isn’t broken?” were his exact words.

Clearly the good doctor is fond of famous phrases.
Wish he was familiar with this one, “If you want to pretend you’re too busy to take a patient when she comes early, you shouldn’t be wandering around the halls aimlessly, chatting with the cleaning guy!”

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63 Responses to Hello! I'm right here!
  1. Confessions of a Closet Hoarder but you can call me Judy
    September 22, 2010 | 3:39 pm

    Ugh. Arrogant doctors are SO hard to deal with. I wonder, if arrogance mostly affects neurologists, since that's the kind I've found most arrogant as well. Sorry it ended up being a waste of time.

  2. Another Day of Crazy
    September 22, 2010 | 3:40 pm

    I would have said "If it's not working, it's broken (dumbass). Kind of like your personality."

    (Some) Doctors and their egos.

  3. Kristina P.
    September 22, 2010 | 3:41 pm

    I couldn't get past anything after you denegrated The Hoff. Sob.

  4. Chandra
    September 22, 2010 | 3:46 pm

    He sure keeps late appointments.
    Instead of taking care of you early he gets you in late only to diagnos you with something you alredy knew you had…arrogance indeed.

  5. Portia
    September 22, 2010 | 3:54 pm

    Just remember that you hired him as your doctor so you can fire him as well! Doctors work for you, not the other way around. What can I say? I am a radical!

  6. Linda in New Mexico
    September 22, 2010 | 3:59 pm

    I hate DR's. My hubby has had innumerable appts. to also get meds for his RLS that do not make him feel like a zombie the next day. You'd think that if one DR says you have RLS that another can just start there but nope they have to prove what real idiots they are by being patronizing…..gawd, I hate Dr.s. Thanks for the super post. The Olde Bagg

  7. SkippyMom
    September 22, 2010 | 4:07 pm

    I get this all the time with the pain scale question [from the Lupus] and if they ask me one more time if I am sure it is an 8 [during a flare] I am going to stab them in the elbow [with a fork I smuggled in] and while they bleed and hop around cursing I will simply ask "Is that an 8 doc?" When they reply "No it's a fu*k*ng 10" I will serenely smile and then say "But of course." Woosie.

    Restless leg syndrome sucks – give your husband my sympathies. We can share stories. :D – and yep, find a new doctor. This one sucks.

  8. Creative Flair
    September 22, 2010 | 4:28 pm

    Sounds like you need another doctor. To give hime the benefit of the doubt, many drug-seekers use excuses like Restless leg to get hardcore drugs. BUT, his whole office and his demeanor is messed up.

  9. Lesley
    September 22, 2010 | 4:38 pm

    Such crap. That doctor needs to be a patient in a different state/country where no one knows him, he can't call in a favor, and he can't rely on his "stellar" reputation. I HATE doctors like that.

  10. MommaKiss
    September 22, 2010 | 4:39 pm

    a newcomer to the brazillian, to say watching The Hoff is worse, I believe you. Oy.

    Doctors can be so lovely, can't they? just lovely. #sarcasm.

  11. Jessica
    September 22, 2010 | 4:58 pm

    I hate waiting! And after a discussion like that with a doctor I would need lots of chocolate. Can this really be blamed on Canadian health care? ;-)

  12. Queen of the Rant
    September 22, 2010 | 5:19 pm

    I hate doctors-you should look for natural remedies-the drugs they are feeding us are slowly killing us… there is a natural cure/remedy for many common ailments like RLS-just do a google serch. I mean if they tell you to eat more bluberries give it a try-at least you are not hurting yourself trying it right…

  13. fojoy
    September 22, 2010 | 5:21 pm

    My Aunt is the office manager for an arrogant neurologist (who totally would have got you in early)…maybe they just teach "how to be condescending" along with brain scans in medical school…

  14. Katy
    September 22, 2010 | 5:32 pm

    What is it with Neurologist? I've delt with a lot of different doctors and I have to say, my Neurologist annoys me the most. They just have this way of making you feel like you're suppose to be an idiot.

  15. Amanda
    September 22, 2010 | 5:42 pm

    ANNOYING! I hate when you give this long list of crap going wrong and they just stare at you like… and???

  16. Kristin @ Peace, Love and Muesli
    September 22, 2010 | 5:47 pm

    He didn't want to miss Hasselhoff on DWTS. That's why he made you wait.

  17. Mamma has spoken
    September 22, 2010 | 6:08 pm

    I'm sitting here trying to understand that he had appointments that late in the evening. Hell around here you're happy if you get a 5 o'clock appointment. Though many do have 'early' appointments as in 7:30 in the morning.

  18. Kelley
    September 22, 2010 | 6:11 pm

    Well, that little fart. You can really do the can-can in your sleep? That's so ironic b/c I can do the can't-can't in mine! Seriously, that syndrome sounds like a pain in the big arse. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that…and with doctors who talk to cleaning guys too dang long!

  19. Matty
    September 22, 2010 | 6:21 pm

    I actually heard of someone who "charged" their doctor for the time they spent in the waiting room. I didn't hear what the outcome was, but their premise was that their time was just as valuable as the doctor's and submitted a bill to their office. I love it.

    Just think, when you get your nursing degree, you can self diagnose with a degree to back it up.

  20. Lourie
    September 22, 2010 | 6:54 pm

    I hate it when doctors knock our knowing our own bodies or our childrens because we don't have an MD after our name. Grrrr. What a waste of your time.

  21. The PWT
    September 22, 2010 | 7:20 pm

    My family physician thought my problems were RLS and put me on meds. HAHA!! Funny thing about that is a rare side effect of RLS meds is muscle spasms!! Go figure right?! So she took me off the meds and referred me to a neurologist. I swear the first guy I saw was probably your doctor. Arogant and uninterested in my thoughts. I asked for my future appointments to be made with a different Dr. I loved her!

    All doctors should have to take a personality test before practicing medicine!

  22. Debbie(single;complicated)
    September 22, 2010 | 7:27 pm

    well…the issue was not funny at all..and the DR sounds like an arrogant fool..but I still loved this post!!!!! :)

  23. Everyday Goddess
    September 22, 2010 | 7:30 pm

    That is awful! I hope you find someone better because that guy is an idiot.

  24. Jewels
    September 22, 2010 | 7:48 pm

    I did that lovely overnight sleep study because they thought I might have Sleep Apneia…turns out it's Restless Leg Syndrome…aka F**k My Life Syndrome. I feel your pain. I eventually stopped taking any perscribed medication becuase it cost an arm and a leg and no dose/medication worked well. I started with iron supliments (being anemic and low on iron made it 1,000 times worse) and have some relief. Whatever the iron doesn't take care of over the counter sleep aids (taken in moderation) does.
    Good luck! Sorry about your dickhead doctor!!

  25. Dazee Dreamer
    September 22, 2010 | 8:05 pm

    omg. what an f-er. I hate doctors that just feel like they are so much better than you. I hope that you can really get some help with your restless leg syndrome. you poor thing.

  26. Monkey Man
    September 22, 2010 | 8:18 pm

    You said his name was Dr. Richard Cranium? Starts the appointment with the serenity prayer? I guess that's better than a drink. Fer cryin' out loud, physicians these days probably use their Blackberries to look up Web MD and diagnose from there. Try Eastern medicine, at least when they poke you with a needle it feels like something is getting done. Great Story, girl.

  27. Julianna
    September 22, 2010 | 8:26 pm

    I run into this WAY too often. I am new to the orthodontist's office and was thrilled that they take you in as you show up. I'm loving this! -J

    Hoping you a great night sleep, if not, maybe you can audition for "dancing with the stars" after dark.

  28. Laura @ The Things I Said I'd Never Do
    September 22, 2010 | 8:46 pm

    I am sure there are great, caring, humble doctors out there who listen to your opinions and don't make you feel like an ass but I have yet to find one.

    I so wish my Midwife could treat me for ailments beyond getting knocked up. She actually gave a shit about her patient.

    RLS sucks. I had it when pregnant and it was miserable. I hope that the current med keeps working and you don't have to go back to Dr. Doucheypants

  29. Kristy
    September 22, 2010 | 9:15 pm

    Ugh. Murphy's Law. Gets you everytime. Show up early and you wait, wait, wait. Show up late and they're pissed and telling you to reschedule.

  30. Anti-Supermom
    September 22, 2010 | 11:02 pm

    Horrible experience. I've heard that RLS is horrible itself… sorry.

    Murphy's Law is right.

  31. bluzdude
    September 22, 2010 | 11:06 pm

    Perhaps one of your Restless Legs should have twitched right up into his non-attentive family jewels.

  32. Just Plain Tired
    September 22, 2010 | 11:12 pm

    I remember years ago going to the doctor, waiting forever in a patient room (which seems like a much longer wait than waiting in the waiting room). The guy finally strolls in and immediately announces I have the "same crud" as everyone else today. This thoroughly pissed me off and while I can't remember verbatem what I said I don't think he approached anyone else in that manner the rest of the day.

  33. BeMistified
    September 22, 2010 | 11:17 pm

    Not that I am applauding that you have RLS, but I think at that time your leg should of freaking out so you could kick his ass! Okay I am done.

  34. Shell
    September 22, 2010 | 11:28 pm

    What a total waste of your time!

  35. Sherri
    September 22, 2010 | 11:46 pm

    Man, what a waste! Such an attitude, and why did he have to be so condescending to you?

  36. The Blue Zoo
    September 23, 2010 | 2:29 am

    Some Dr's are just jerks. You should have kicked him! =)

  37. Sara Louise
    September 23, 2010 | 6:01 am

    Obviously he got an F in bedside manner.
    My mother has Restless Leg Syndrome too, it makes her miserable.
    Hope you stop doing the can can soon :-)

  38. Raquel's World
    September 23, 2010 | 8:46 am

    What a complete and total waste of your time. Sounds like a trumped up doctor visit for maybe insurance fraud.
    I have had restless legs, it sucks! You'd really rather have pain then "restless". Maybe try some weed. (Just kidding)

  39. nitebyrd
    September 23, 2010 | 8:55 am

    RLS sucks! And so does this neurologist.

  40. ournextchapters.com
    September 23, 2010 | 9:55 am

    Ugh… I deal with Docs all day long… I know exactly the "that type."

  41. McKenzie
    September 23, 2010 | 10:58 am

    I would have gave HIM a few swift kicks in the shins. How annoying!

  42. Danielle
    September 23, 2010 | 11:20 am

    Maybe you should have invited him to spend the night sometime and then show him how restless your leggs are. Right to the groin.

  43. Helene
    September 23, 2010 | 11:48 am

    What a major waste of your time!! So basically he didn't listen to a word you said….well, all I can say is karma, baby. It'll come full circle at some point and he'll be wishing he had treated his patients with more respect.

  44. ~J
    September 23, 2010 | 1:47 pm

    UGH! This is why I hate (most) doctors!!

  45. SoccerMom
    September 23, 2010 | 1:51 pm

    That would piss me off! and I would of told them so.

    I go to all kinds of doctors for my lupus. All the time.
    I dont put up with anyones shit.

    Life is too short (for me) to waste my time with anyones bullshit.

  46. McVal
    September 23, 2010 | 3:02 pm

    wow. I believe I changed my gyn doctor because of an attitude like that after a miscarriage…

  47. The Mayor!
    September 23, 2010 | 4:57 pm

    What a fuck head…just like Hasselhof

  48. Jill
    September 23, 2010 | 5:05 pm

    Blatantly incompetant. Lovely. Sorry to read about the restless leg syndrome. I've actually never known anyone who has it. Does that mean you burn calories in your sleep? Sorry, my glass is always half full :) Feel good doll. As always, you crack me up!

  49. QueenieM
    September 23, 2010 | 5:30 pm

    Wow you're the first blogger I've come across with RLS. My husband has it … has had it for years. Took forever to get diagnosed.

    Good luck.

    Love your blog btw :)

  50. Debby@Just Breathe
    September 23, 2010 | 6:21 pm

    Here is my question. Does your current medication work? I assume you were there to get something better so why would he say that?

  51. The Fitness Guru
    September 23, 2010 | 7:04 pm

    This an example of why I don't bother with health insurance. It just takes the " wonder if I should bother…" out of the equation.

  52. Miranda @ The Spotted Cake
    September 23, 2010 | 8:12 pm

    Must just be a rheumy thing to do that to patients because they know that can since we don't have many options to go somewhere else. I've waited an hour in the office at my doctor's JUST to get some blood work.. nothing more, JUST blood work. Fun stuff! LOL

  53. Cassie
    September 23, 2010 | 8:30 pm

    What cracks me up about this is that I work at a hospital with plenty of neurologists and they're all self righteous pompous assholes. Except for one. I like Dr. S.

  54. Busy Working Mama
    September 23, 2010 | 9:09 pm

    OK LMAO on the dancing with the stars thing. My mom loves that show to death. Enough said.

    As for doctors offices, I hate them. They are never timely, and the odd thing is they threaten you with a $50 fee if you miss your appointment but I've spent upwards of an hour waiting for my scheduled appointment and almost stormed out in anger but really, I was too cheap to pay the $50 fee. Damned them. OMG. I used a curse word online!! What are you doing to me?!

  55. Me, myself and I
    September 24, 2010 | 1:10 am

    Oh, F that doctor in the A!
    I would have punched him in the dick…well, not really but I would have given it considerable thought!
    I hope your RLS gets better!

  56. Ash
    September 24, 2010 | 5:27 am

    awww poor you. hope your leg is less restless and remember not to go to that doc again!

    ~ash's mum

  57. Crystal Escobar
    September 24, 2010 | 10:39 am

    haha, that story is hilarious!!!

  58. Crystal Escobar
    September 24, 2010 | 10:40 am

    oh, and I loved the part about dancing with the stars. I HATE that show.

  59. scribblingsofasoccermom.com
    September 24, 2010 | 4:33 pm

    Good grief! I hate doctors who are late and annoying and so obviously think they're a gift to me that I probably would have said…go to hell and left. But I've seen lots and lots of doctors. It's not wrong that you saw a neurologist for RLS…not sure who diagnosed you before…but COME ON! I did a sleep study…that's how they found mine. And it's the best thing that's EVER happened to me! EVER…sleep is a beautiful thing!

  60. QueenieM
    September 24, 2010 | 8:55 pm

    Thanks for stopping by and yes it really does reduce eye puffiness

  61. Bi
    September 24, 2010 | 10:50 pm

    Thank you for the lovely comment on my blog, Sandra! You are too kind!

    I loved this post! If my doctor recited the serenity prayer upon my entrance I would definitely be a little wary! Sounds like a crappy situation, I hope your husband's chins are alright, hahaha!

  62. Patricia ~ The Naked Writer
    September 24, 2010 | 10:54 pm

    GRRRR i have restless leg syndrome too..but this isn't about me, it's about you…i will leave my own narcissism at the door :o ) thanks for dropping by my blog and posting a comment.i hope your day is going better now that my bad day brought a smile to your face…mission accomplished!
    And now, time for some head inflating compliments …are you ready? i love your blog! its fresh and funny and totally awesome in a way that might make me squirt in my pants …jello that is…yes, i squirt jello when i get excited but that is a story for another day!
    I lOVE the way you write and the fact that you aren't shy about how high of a pedestal you are on regarding your own narcissistic tendencies…ok that is enough compliments for today…i don't want your head to explode…yet!
    Thanks for putting a huge grin on my face today, it's raining and I really needed the boost today. Actually, i am very short and always need a boost but I digress!
    oh shit, i think this comment just turned into a blog post ooops …I am adding you as a bff and going to put your awesome blog on my blog roll so i can get all the juicy updates about YOU xo

  63. Deborah
    September 25, 2010 | 9:29 am

    Not to be a nutrition-nazi, but it could be as simple as removing wheat from your diet.

    Just sayin'.

    *disclaimer – I am TRYING hella-hard to remove the delicious wheat from my diet. Oh, and sugar.

    Oh my life sucks@!

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