Happy birthday offspring…

This is Terran, my last baby…

He’s 7 years old today…

I’m conflicted over this age. On one hand it’s great because it means he’s closer to 18.
On the other, he’s not a baby anymore.
And this means I have no more babies. It’s official, I’m done.

Problem is though, I love babies. I love how they smell. How they cuddle into you when you hold them. How cute they look in outfits no adult would ever dream of putting on a human being capable of fighting back.

My labours and deliveries were so quick, my children quite literally came flying out of me. Don’t hate me.
Pregnancy was relatively easy for me, if you don’t count the fact that I didn’t sleep for its duration.
So I quite feasibly could have had 19 children. I could have been like Michelle Duggar, only I wear tight-fitting pants and don’t defer to my husband before I have a thought… ok, yeah, I realize there are far more differences, no need to list them all.

But I like having time to myself. I like being busy. I like having several balls in the air at one time, different balls, balls that don’t shit 12 times a day, stay awake crying all night, and shrinks my breasts to the size of sunflower seeds.

So that means I’m done. Finito.

However, this also means that Terran is and has been the recipient of an excess of attention that could quite easily have been distributed among several more babies. Especially when keeping in mind that my daughter, who is 4 years older than Terran, has been using him as her own living doll. This also means that the boy is well versed in makeup application, nail polish colours, and fashion accessories- we don’t let him leave the house in my heels.

My older boys do tell me I should have another baby, hopefully a boy, but only because they feel Terran has been “girlified” (their word) and so the next baby will be able to “man-up” instead of enjoying being treated like an infant.

I resent that though. I don’t treat him like an infant. Maybe a two or three year old.
But I can’t help it. He’s cute. And tiny. The kid is a short-ass, so I don’t really look at him and see a 7 year old, a child 3 years away from being 10.
I’m not the only one who treats him this way though.
My mom and her husband still talk to him as though he were this defenseless little baby. Everything he does or says is considered cute. And they laugh. And they’re so joyful in his presence.
So of course he consistently hams it up when they’re around. Why wouldn’t he, right. He is now familiar with the rush of performing. He’s a star. Whenever they’re around, he’s “ON!”
The problem though, lies in the fact that what was considered cute at three, is not necessarily considered cute at seven.
When at the restaurant with the waiter standing nearby asking the 7 year old, “What do you want to drink?” it’s not funny anymore when the 7 year old makes goofy faces, and continuously answers, “Bananas!”
…ok. Maybe it’s a little bit funny.
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45 Responses to Happy birthday offspring…
  1. Canadianbloggergirl
    September 4, 2010 | 3:57 pm

    I like the idea that one day they leave the house. Is that wrong? Keep in mind my daughter is 2.5 yrs old right now!

  2. Mom of the Perpetually Grounded
    September 4, 2010 | 3:58 pm

    The youngest is always the baby! Mine is too. Yes, it is still funny! Just like it was still funny when my youngest daughter was 10 and stood in the street during a vacation and made arm pit farts at the tourist trap haunted house guy who is supposed to scare people when they walk by.
    Being youngest breeds special comedy skills.

  3. SkippyMom
    September 4, 2010 | 4:01 pm

    Um – what are you my twin? Our daughter Wallene's birthday is today too.

    Please wish your son the best and we hope he has a great day.

    And I COMPLETELY agree with Mom of the Perpetually Grounded – yes being youngest breeds special comedy skills. I get a lot of my blog fodder from Wallene – I think her first full sentence was "Are you going to blog about this?"

    Yes honey, I am. Love you! hee

  4. Another Day of Crazy
    September 4, 2010 | 4:19 pm

    I'm in the same boat, my youngest is my baby, always will be. Undeniably adorable in everything he does. I imagine he'll always be my favorite, even when he's 42. Heaven help his future wife…

  5. Lourie
    September 4, 2010 | 5:00 pm

    My baby will be 5 next month. He is in kindergarten. I can't hardly stand it. I will miss the baby stuff…but I am done.

  6. Jo
    September 4, 2010 | 5:04 pm

    Aw, he's adorable, and he's going to be quite the heartbreaker when he grows up…! (How many more years until you have grandchildren? *heh*)

    Happy Birthday, Terran…!

  7. Julianna
    September 4, 2010 | 6:15 pm

    I am a little sad of my oldest turning 10 in November. My youngest is 8, and I'm counting the days til he turns eighteen. Yes, I'm counting the fucking days… and now you have the "f" word in your post. You're welcome! -J

  8. Jackie
    September 4, 2010 | 6:28 pm

    Thanks for visiting our blog! Love the title of yours. :)

  9. Mamma has spoken
    September 4, 2010 | 6:52 pm

    happy birthday to your son! Someone has to be the youngest (unless you are a Duggar, I think that lady is going to be pregant until the day she dies) at least he's a cutie!

  10. Kristina P.
    September 4, 2010 | 7:22 pm

    I assume he's still breastfeeding? Real moms bf until their kids are in high school.

  11. Tiffany
    September 4, 2010 | 7:28 pm

    i will most definitely be like this with my youngest. yeah, he's only one, but i can just see it now when he's 7 (or, 30), everything he does will still be adorable and i'll want to kiss and squeeze him because he's my baby. though i've only had two, i think we're done too. he still smells like baby though–at least i have that to hold onto. :)

    happy birthday to your baby!

  12. @ly
    September 4, 2010 | 7:39 pm

    I know you have probably heard this before but believe me when I say it (my boys are 19 and 16) ….as they grow…the worries are just larger! Enjoy their youth….it flies & I miss it terribly!!!!

  13. Jennifer
    September 4, 2010 | 8:05 pm

    Awww our sons were born around the same time. Mine just turned 7 (on August 30) My son is the oldest, though, and is small too. He also acts way more goofy and weird now than he used to. I think party of it is the age… it isn't all the babying. Because making a goofy face and answering "bananas" continuously and then collapsing in a fit of giggles is something my son would do as well.

  14. Kelley
    September 4, 2010 | 8:23 pm

    I have missed checking out your blog! I am finally using Google Reader & will keep up better now. Your Terran is adorable!! He is seriously such a doll. It is no wonder you treat him like one!

  15. ModernMom
    September 4, 2010 | 8:51 pm

    Oh I so understand our feelings! My youngest will have her 9th bday in two weeks. Sigh.
    Enjoy every moment!!

  16. JennyBeans
    September 4, 2010 | 9:14 pm

    Happy birthday, Terran!!!

    Poor Michelle Duggar! Can you imagine? I think my uterus would have gone on strike.

    Love your blog, Sandra. Thanks for visiting mine. Following you now on Twitter. Cheers! Jenny

  17. Mo 'Betta
    September 4, 2010 | 9:57 pm

    My youngest is 2 and gets some serious "babying". We know he's the last one, so I've tried to hold on to the baby as long as possible. This worked out fine until I tried to leave him at preschool. They hate me.

  18. The Lady's Lounge
    September 4, 2010 | 10:03 pm

    I've had a serious case of baby-lust for the last couple of years. Last week I babysat a 1 year old who simultaneously validated my maternal instincts and reminded me how hard it sucks to never sleep eat shower or brush my teeth. My eggs had all dried up and vacated my ovaries by the end of the day.

  19. Preppy Pink Crocodile
    September 4, 2010 | 10:38 pm

    Happy birthday to your last little (big) baby!

  20. BeMistified
    September 4, 2010 | 10:38 pm

    Yay to easy pregnancies! I myself had the easy pregnancy thing too, though I could not see myself pregnant for most of my adult life like Mrs. Duggard. Yuck! My 9 year old is just like another me, just younger. She is very independent, and doesn't request help unless absolutely necessary. I was spade, so no more for me!

  21. Jewels
    September 4, 2010 | 11:24 pm

    It's scary how quickly they grow up isn't it!? I have none of my own but the children I nanny for and my niece have sprouted up and celebrated birthdays I never dreamed they would come to so quickly!
    My baby sister turned 20 this year and that upset me more than any of my birthdays! Sometimes about them being out on their own and their own person and no longer depending on you that just breaks your heart!
    Thanks sooo much for stopping by my blog, following me, and leaving such a great comment.
    I am now a prod follower of this wonderful blog! :-)


  22. Cheryl
    September 5, 2010 | 1:19 am

    I love this! My eldest son is going to be 7 in December, my daughter will be 5 next week. So I am sure when my youngest turns 7, I will feel exactly the same way as you do. Except I don't miss the newborn phase. This might be because I'm too close to it still, and because I carry around my 18 month-old constantly and the thought of carrying around another child? Makes my back want to break in half.

    Anyway – happy birthday to Terran!

  23. Gina
    September 5, 2010 | 3:33 am

    My youngest is a seven year old boy and I too have no intention of having any more. How can you not baby them when they are so cute and silly. I would only worry if Gareth was doing the bananas thing when he is 27!

  24. Queenie Jeannie
    September 5, 2010 | 3:57 am

    My baby just turned six, and she too is my last one. Factory closed, thank you very much. Another kid would probably kill me, one way or another, lol!!!

    I loved your post and your "realness". Don't EVER change!! Please???

    PS: I'm stealing your Queen picture. It's for a good cause – trust me!!

  25. Jen
    September 5, 2010 | 7:48 am

    The only problem is if you have another one, the same thing will happen. Although, I don't think Terran would appreciate not being the baby any more. It gets addictive I'm afraid. Very cute photos. You are a lucky gal.

  26. The Chicken's Consigliere
    September 5, 2010 | 8:18 am

    Happy Birthday, Terran! Enjoy being the youngest-looks like you've got it made for life!

  27. Tooje
    September 5, 2010 | 12:21 pm

    Oh, the pain and pangs of child bearing decisions. :) My first baby just turned 6 and he seems so OLD. Weird. As I hold my 3 month old, I get little jitters. I really know that mentally, I'm done. But emotionally? That's a different story. Such a hard decision to make/experience. Because sometimes it's not even our choice.

    He's adorable. I can see why you'd cuddle him up like a toddler. And the fact that he still lets you is wonderful. Soon, he'll be too cool. *sniff*

  28. Pres. Kathy
    September 5, 2010 | 12:54 pm

    What a cutie pie!! Happy Birthday!

  29. Gigi
    September 5, 2010 | 2:19 pm

    Happy birthday! My son turned 7 in May and this is such a fun age.

    But….I hated the baby phase. Shh. don't tell.

  30. McKenzie
    September 5, 2010 | 2:20 pm

    Happy Late Birthday Terran!

  31. Gigi
    September 5, 2010 | 9:29 pm

    Happy birthday to your little guy! And yes, he is still a baby. But I can say that since my little guy is staring 16 in the face!

  32. The Random Blogette
    September 5, 2010 | 10:35 pm

    Terran is adorable! Happy birthday to Teran! I could also totally have tons more kids but, A-I have no money and B-I have to have c-sections so yeah that wouldn't work so well and C-I don't want my vagina to fall out and finally D- My boobs are big enough after having one kid that I can't imagine what would happen if I had any more. I bio child and one step-kid are enough for me.

  33. Preppy Pink Crocodile
    September 5, 2010 | 11:47 pm

    Hi there- thanks for your comment! You need to get Sitemeter. It's so much fun. Just google it and download it and add it to your blog. It's free. I don't check all that often but you can see where people are from and what brings them to your blog. And my favorite is reading what google searches bring people to your blog- hilarious.

    I was checking a bit lately and noticed people who live near me in Upstate NY and am sooo curious to know who these mystery people are. I never used to get readers from my area. Really I am more curious than anything else.

  34. ♥Georgie♥
    September 6, 2010 | 2:15 am

    it is…a whole lotta funny! girlll happy special day to your sweet youngin…but this post had my in giggles for realsies

  35. Molly
    September 6, 2010 | 9:51 am

    Hi! Thank you so much for your sweet comment, and visiting my blog :) Terran is adorable, with that face I would still baby him too. So glad you arent a Michelle Duggar, she is a whack! I feel bad for those children.

  36. Shannon
    September 6, 2010 | 10:16 am

    My baby is 5 today! Thanks for stopping by the other day (writers workshop). Mind racing? Sorry to dissappoint…separated parents, mom with emotional issues, secondary infertility, in a nutshell. My problem is that I shared my blog with one of "those" people so I get annoyed with myself sometimes that I can't really vent on my blog b/c of that.

  37. Kaci
    September 6, 2010 | 3:44 pm

    Happy Birthday to him, hope his day was fun! XOXO

  38. Jason
    September 6, 2010 | 4:03 pm

    great blog and awesome reading….

  39. nitebyrd
    September 6, 2010 | 4:19 pm

    I hope your son had a great birthday!

    They don't necessarily leave when they are 18. *sigh*

    Sorry, gotta hate you. I can't help it. 36 and 22 hours. I have no choice but to hate you.

  40. Laura @ The Things I Said I'd Never Do
    September 6, 2010 | 6:40 pm

    It's good he is being babied. My sister, the youngest of 4 was (and is) pretty much ignored.

  41. Jason
    September 6, 2010 | 8:30 pm

    I laugh when I read your posts..thank you so much..

  42. Jennie @ Modern Mamaz
    September 7, 2010 | 1:04 pm

    Okay, here the "happy medium." Sure you may not have any more babies… but there are still grandchildren to be had. Which totally rocks because you can give them back when they poop.

  43. Danielle
    September 7, 2010 | 2:18 pm

    Note to self: saying bananas isn't funny.
    Darn it I have to stop saying that now!
    Happy Birthday little man!

  44. Tracy
    September 8, 2010 | 6:38 am

    Aww, Happy Birthday to your kiddo! They grow way too fast…..for the good and the bad! My oldest is almost 12 now and the youngest 15 months and all boys…..no more babies here either!

  45. allison
    September 10, 2010 | 11:51 pm

    My baby is seven too. And she's still my little squishy baby and I still sort of want six more and I still sort of know I'm too old and loony to have any more. And the 'bananas' thing is a little bit funny.

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