What the…???

On Friday I joined Gigi for Friday Flip-Offs. I had a terrific time flipping off camel toe underwear and plugged toilets. It was my usual kind of post about all things profound and revolutionary in the world according to Sandra.
So imagine my surprise when I checked my comments that evening and found 38. Thirty eight fucken comments! I’m happy if I get anything over four.

I didn’t make much more of it. Chalked it up to karma because I’ve been sticking with Eat Pray Love and figure the universe was praising me in its own special way for not making complete and total fun of Elizabeth Gilbert’s description of the weird vibrating sensation that crawls up her spine as she’s meditating…because really, what is that?…but no, I have said nothing. Sorta.
And instead have been trying to display an acceptance of things which I don’t understand.
I’m doing pretty good I think – so far I haven’t said ‘fucken’ once in this post… well, once. But it was in a positive and enthusiastic context so it doesn’t count.

But on Sunday, after writing another deep and prophetic post, I was rewarded with 27 comments. So I’m like, what the fuck is going on?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not upset. I’m thrilled because really, what is the reason we blog? Validation of course. How much more validation can a person ask for than 27 fucken comments.

Again though, I’m not reading too much into it. Just a bout of good luck. I have purchased a domain name so I’m thinking it has something to do with that.

Then yesterday, as I’m tooling around on Facebook, something appears advising me that I can set up a fan page for my blog. I’m like, “Cool!” People will click on the “like” button. I’ll feel good. My self-worth will hopefully increase to the point where I won’t need to seek validation through lustrous hair and chiseled deltoids anymore. It’s all good.
It’s win-win for everybody. I feel good. I don’t spend so much time in the gym or at the hair salon. I spend more time playing hide-and-go-seek and Clue with my kids… ok, that’s a lie. I would not play hide-and-go-seek with my kids if it was their Make-A-Wish-Foundation last request.
But you get the idea. If mommy’s happy, then it stands to reason that I won’t be a total bitch.

I share these recent developments with  my son as we’re going for our walk this evening (yes, I walk with my kid! Don’t seem so surprised! I’m not an ogre, I just hate boardgames). He, child prodigy that he is – or that he should be if he put in half the energy into his schoolwork that he does in designing maps and shit for his video games - makes the link between the new Facebook fan page and the sudden influx of comments.

So we’re walking and I’m giggling, because how terrific is this blogging venture I’ve embarked upon. He’s even more excited than I am. He’s like, “Mom, they’re probably going to make a movie about you. Mother of four, going to university to become a nurse, becomes famous blogger.”
He pauses, then pipes up, “You know what would be really good? If your blogging could pay for your tuition. You could put a Paypal button with a little “donate” sign. And people can give you money. The video reviewer guys do this because they have to pay for their hard drives.”

Now he’s totally getting into this story. He’s even suggesting we come up with a real hardknox life storyline so people will feel sorry for us and donate more.
He’s like, “We could dress up in really ratty clothes, and sit on the curb with hats in our hands, and a sign that says, “We’d rather beg for money than starve” and you can take a picture and post it on your blog. That should earn you maximum revenue.”
I swear he said “maximum revenue.”

So, no, I’m not doing any of that. For one thing, we’re going to Disney World on Friday. Somehow I don’t think anybody is going to buy the whole street urchin look on my kids when they’re wearing Mickey Mouse ears.
Not to mention, it took me two days to configure the goddamn Facebook fan page. It took me three months to get my feed burner working. Actually, I’m not even sure if is working.
So as much as I appreciate my son’s enthusiasm and faith in me, I’m just happy to read the nice comments. Even when there are just four of them.

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45 Responses to What the…???
  1. Kristina P.
    August 17, 2010 | 1:38 am

    Maybe you'll be the next Pioneer Woman, played by Sandra Bernhard.

  2. Karen Peterson
    August 17, 2010 | 1:38 am

    I was positively giddy the first time I got a double-digit comment count on a post.

    Sounds like your son might just have a future in marketing…

  3. MamaOnDaGo
    August 17, 2010 | 2:04 am

    I'm still trying to figure out the whole fan page set up on FB. If the kids would only leave me alone for a month so I could figure it out.
    Well when they make a movie out of your life, who should play you?

  4. MamaOnDaGo
    August 17, 2010 | 2:23 am

    My iPhone is giving me problems, so I'll post another comment. Just in case the previous comment is lost in space.
    I can't believe your son came up with the hard knox life scam in order to get maximum revenue. What kid comes up with stuff like that? You have a little Donald Trump.

    Also, if they were to make movie out of your life, who would play you?

  5. Holly
    August 17, 2010 | 4:14 am

    Your son cracks me up!! Have a blast at Disneyland, I'm leaving a comment so you can smile… Oh, and another award… because you're awesome and deserve it… and maybe it'll send a few more people over to check you out and see how fun you are!! (((HUGS)))

  6. Miss. Candy
    August 17, 2010 | 5:36 am

    That's great about all the comments, yes we do all want validation!!! lol!!! Have a great time at Disney!!!

  7. Mom of the Perpetually Grounded
    August 17, 2010 | 8:10 am

    Comments are lovely. I remember my first one, I was so excited!
    It sounds like you are raising a future CFO there: )

  8. nitebyrd
    August 17, 2010 | 8:46 am

    We all imagine our own "Dooce" or "Julie/Julia" moments, don't we? I'm hoping the dead squirrel will be my ticket to fame. ;)

    Your son is gifted, I think. What a brilliant child! Mine's like a savant with the video games, too. *sigh*

    Have fun in DisneyWorld. It's so freakin' hot down here, bring your own water bottles to fill up 'cause The Mouse ain't cheap. Have a GREAT time!

  9. Canadianbloggergirl
    August 17, 2010 | 9:09 am

    I'm like you, 4 comments is awesome. Can't say I've ever had 27 or more though…lol. Doesn't help that I'm just starting out and have 14 followers…lol.

    Have a great time at Disneyworld!

  10. McKenzie
    August 17, 2010 | 9:54 am

    Your son cracks me up! "Maximum revenue", dressing up in ratty clothes on the curb, too funny!

    Comments are always great to have.

  11. Gigi
    August 17, 2010 | 10:03 am

    You are all kinds of funny. One of my fave new blogs to read. Yeah, the mouse ears are probably going to ruin any sob story you come up with. :)

  12. Ash
    August 17, 2010 | 10:21 am

    How cute is your son!?

    And no worries, the rest of us who have been to Disney would totally appreciate the mouse ears in the begging picture. It will totally ring authentic – that place ain't cheap.

    Enjoy! I'm off to figure out that whole fan page crap.

  13. gopopgo
    August 17, 2010 | 11:37 am

    Did you really flip off cameltoe? I am impressed! And here's 25% of your validation for the day!

  14. Bree
    August 17, 2010 | 11:39 am

    Very cool! It's neat when people take the time to read about our heart and lives…you are funny too so I imaging that is a lot of it! Congrats and that paypal thing–well I have seen some do that for 'lessor' causes :) - what a little entrepreneur you have.

  15. Hutch
    August 17, 2010 | 11:50 am

    Your son really is a genius!

    I love Eat, Pray, Love except for the meditation part. There's not a chance the voices in my head will ever stay quiet long enough to let me feel any tingling.

  16. The mad woman behind the blog
    August 17, 2010 | 12:10 pm

    Can I borrow him?

    Oops, I mean, is he available for hire? Consultant work, project development, big picture stuff and the like.

    Adonis asked if I could make money blogging (back when I had like 20 followers) and he said it I hit 100 he'd make my blog go viral (I had to think for a second…did he mean that in a good way?).

    He has yet to um assert himself.

    So back to that kid of yours? Free for an afternoon?

  17. foxy
    August 17, 2010 | 12:22 pm

    Maximum revenue…. I love it! And how old is this kid?? He's quite the thinker.

  18. Pamela
    August 17, 2010 | 1:12 pm

    You are a rock star & your son is hilarious – what a little character he is coming up with that stuff! Enjoy your trip to Disney World & congrats on the new domain – that's fabulous news:)

  19. SoMo Mom
    August 17, 2010 | 1:19 pm

    Have u ever read Jenny McCarthy's Life Laughs book? If not, you should — it's totally hilarious & I'm pretty sure you 2 would be pals in real life. It's like you say what we are all thinking (and a little more) but would be afraid to say out loud. Can you write a post to my boss??? :-)

  20. SoccerMom
    August 17, 2010 | 2:32 pm

    I really just enjoy getting peoples feed back on shit that is going on in my life.

    Sometimes I take peoples advice and sometimes I just do what the fuck i want.
    : ) Its all good.

  21. Reluctant Writer
    August 17, 2010 | 3:13 pm

    It is a great feeling when people take the time to comment on your post. Its nice your son is interested in what your doing. I agree it takes awhile to figure how everything works. It has been fun figuring out blogger, twitter and fan page. How to all make it work together.

    Thanks for coming by and leaving a comment. I'm going to check out the website.

  22. Tooje
    August 17, 2010 | 3:40 pm

    See, I see that you have over 300 followers and am angry for you that you don't have MORE comments! I really can't figure out the ratio of followers to commenters. If you don't want to comment but like to read, then why don't they follow us anonymously? Really?

    I think you should consider the up-front Paypal donation method, though. "If you've got a few extra bucks, feel free to donate!" Can't get in trouble for that, right?

    Happy Tuesday.

  23. rachel...
    August 17, 2010 | 3:41 pm

    Okay, I love board games. Can we trade off? You take my kids for a walk and I'll play board games with yours?

  24. Danielle
    August 17, 2010 | 3:56 pm

    I have found the perfect way to get a ton of comments. Only post once a month. It gives people time to get to you! LOL
    My friend constantly emails me to post something new. I milked the comments long enough. HA HA

  25. The Flying Chalupa
    August 17, 2010 | 4:32 pm

    This was hilarious. And what the eff is up with boardgames? I can only get enthusiastic if a lot of adult beverages have been imbibed – and drunken Chutes & Ladders with a two year old just sounds painful.

  26. The Empress
    August 17, 2010 | 4:42 pm

    Haha, b/c our lives are identical. Ditto on everything in the last paragraph…

  27. Gigi
    August 17, 2010 | 6:40 pm

    When I started blogging – I never expected anyone to follow along, much less comment. I mean really, how would they find me? Much less care enough about what I have to say to post a response? Yay, for you! They comment because they like what they read.

  28. glummymummy
    August 17, 2010 | 6:46 pm

    Wow! Hope you have a great time in DisneyWorld, never been myself but want to in the near future (for the kids, of course…) :o ) xx

  29. Cool Gal
    August 17, 2010 | 8:24 pm

    You crack me up. Love your blog. Happy you are getting so many comments. It's one of the best parts of blogging.

    Your son cracks me up, too. Obviously a "chip off the old block."

    Have fun at Disney. I love that place! :)

  30. Magnolia Sun
    August 17, 2010 | 8:49 pm

    I just started reading your blog and love it! My small blog group has been taking a break so I really don't have any comments, maybe you will feel sorry for me and leave one.

  31. Mommyhood Mayhem
    August 17, 2010 | 10:40 pm

    We'd love if you'd follow our *new* blog!


  32. Jennie @ ModernMamaz
    August 18, 2010 | 12:29 am

    Tell me more about this "Friday Flip-Offs" deal. Also, is there any way to extend this game into something in the way of "Monday, Wednesday AND Friday Flip-Offs?" I'm so in. Oh, btw… I'm number 32 for comments today. Yeah, you rock.

  33. Poppy
    August 18, 2010 | 3:03 am

    Shit, I go on vacation for a few days and now what your all of a sudden famous? As if your head can get any bigger. You already know I adore you and now I have like 2 weeks worth of reading to catch up one.

  34. Matty
    August 18, 2010 | 7:38 am

    I thought I would comment. Just to bump your numbers up a bit. LOL

    But really…."maximum revenue"? He has a future.

  35. TV's Take
    August 18, 2010 | 9:56 am

    Look at all the comments you got on this post – how cool is that! That is so sweet that your son is so proud of you. Thanks for stopping by and being so kind. Have a wonderful time in Disneyworld!

  36. Jill
    August 18, 2010 | 10:07 am

    Sandra, I am a new follower and I think you are so funny!! I couldn't stop laughing when I read your post!!

  37. Sara
    August 18, 2010 | 10:36 am

    I think camel toe and plugged toilets really do speak to people.

    Hell, I know they speak to me!

    Have you decided who would play you in the movie?

  38. Discovering the Me in Mommy
    August 18, 2010 | 10:40 am

    I am comment #32! =)
    Probably need your son's advice!

    Enjoy Disney World…can't wait to hear more stories!

  39. Heather
    August 18, 2010 | 11:06 am

    Wow. I am 32. You must be about to poop yourself with excitement!! :)

    I would love a tutorial on …facebook thingie, domain thingie, and feed burner.
    Because I am never going to have lustrous hair or any muscles. I know. I have tried.

  40. Jennifer Juniper
    August 18, 2010 | 11:12 am

    Several things -
    1. I love you. Thank you so much for being another Mommy who would rather poke out her own eye than play a board game.
    2. You MUST tell me how to do the Facebook fanpage. I've tried. It kicked my ass.
    3. Is it written down somewhere that it karmically (yeah I know that's not really a word) kicks your ass if you say "fuck"?? Because if it does then I'm well, fucked.

  41. Shell
    August 18, 2010 | 1:13 pm

    Your son has quite the imagination!

  42. Life Without Pink
    August 18, 2010 | 3:12 pm

    Your son is great, love it! Isnt it a great feeling to write something and actually have more than 5 comments??? love your blog!!

  43. Semi-Slacker Mom
    August 18, 2010 | 4:19 pm

    41 comments! That's it, I'm not leaving anymore!

    I'll be email you! :)

  44. SkippyMom
    September 3, 2010 | 2:21 pm

    I have been reading your blog all morning and laughing hysterically – I swear I could've posted a thousand comments by now [yep! but? - I am not going to start out all stalker-y, right? You and I just met. I'll save the stalking for next week. Or Monday. That will start off the school year on a good note, eh?]

    Anyway – Seriously? You are dangerous to my computer.

    Ask the coca cola that just spewed out of my nose on this comment:

    "I would not play hide-and-go-seek with my kids if it was their Make-A-Wish-Foundation last request."

    Not to channel Bette Midler but can I say that you are my hero?

    Thank you so MUCH for the laughs.

    [And can you please promise me that you read past my tuna casserole recipe. Please? I mean, honestly - Tuna Casserole? My god - I read my blog sometimes and fall asleep it can get so boring - then I realize hey! I lived that experience. And I then I wonder why they haven't diagnosed me with narcolepsy yet.]

    Take care and thanks for the link. You're awesome.

  45. SkippyMom
    September 3, 2010 | 3:54 pm

    Can I just add – Monopoly is of the DEVIL. Satan created all manifestations of that damn game.


    And if someone mentioned this previously? Drinks are on me.

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