Post vacay random thoughts

Coming home from vacation is like giving birth: you forget how grueling it was once you’re home.

Now that I’m safely tucked into my own bed, I can look back on the experience fondly. Suddenly, the fact that my hair was one big frizz ball because of the Florida humidity and my straightener quite literally cracked in half trying to plow its way through the underbrush that is my afro doesn’t matter anymore.

The unexpected downpours while we were being marched from one major attraction to the next by the drill sergeant don’t seem so inconvenient when I’m sitting indoors. Dry.

Disney doesn’t seem so despicable…
Oh puleeze! Who am I kidding – doing Disney with my kids was like being part of a chain gang.

And despite the hour-long drive from Orlando to Daytona Beach, when the kids were fighting with each other because there was no DVD player in the rental van to occupy them, when Wayne was pissy because he was tired from the neck-breaking schedule he was commandeering, when I was plotting my revenge on all of mankind for inventing the concept of the family vacation in the first place, thankfully, while sitting in my own bedroom with my dogs nestled next to me, the familiar hum of my ceiling fan, a bowl of popcorn in my lap, I am now able to remember how I felt sitting on that beach while my kids and husband were swimming in the ocean. Far. Away. From. Me.

I felt like I was on vacation.

For the first time since our departure from Winnipeg, while I was stretched out on that glorious white sand, with everyone far far away from me…have I mentioned that I was alone?…well, during that hour –and yes, it was only one hour, because according to the commandant we still had to make it to Cocoa Beach, Cape Canaveral, supper, and back to the resort in time for night swimming – I was having several thoughts. Thoughts completely unrelated to the needs of my children. Thoughts like:

- I love reading Oxygen magazine. I’m so glad I’ve been saving them up all summer for this occasion

- These girls in the Oxygen magazines have no cellulite on their butts

- I have cellulite on my butt and I must do 1000 squats a week

- How much photoshopping goes on before Oxygen goes to print

- I’m hungry…but I don’t want to eat these M&Ms because they’ll contribute to the cellulite on my butt

- Bringing Oxygen magazine to the beach was a stupid idea

- I have to pee…where’s the bathroom?

- I could pee in the ocean…

But before I could indulge in any other thoughts, Wayne came sloshing out of the ocean announcing that it was time for the next round of fun, “Regulators, saddle up!”

No. He didn’t actually say that. Out of nowhere I just remembered Emilio Estevez when he played Billy the Kid in the movie Young Guns. I love that movie. That’s when I first fell in love with Kieffer Sutherland. I also crushed on Andrew McCarthy after I watched the movie Pretty in Pink…

…Wow. Look at me having more thoughts unrelated to the comfort of others.

Hello random, unproductive, decadent thoughts. I’m ho-o-me!

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38 Responses to Post vacay random thoughts
  1. Booyah's Momma
    August 29, 2010 | 12:49 am

    I had the biggest crush on Andrew McCarthy after watching that movie. Almost as big as the crush I had on the guy from Sixteen Candles (no, not Long Duck Dong… the other guy).

    Glad you at least got a little vacation on your vacation. It's always good coming home.

  2. MamaOnDaGo
    August 29, 2010 | 12:51 am

    Glad you made it back in one piece. Looked at my back side in the mirror, remind me to never do that again! Cellulite where the hell did you come from? Made up a work out routine. Check it out when you get a chance. :)

  3. jayayceeblog
    August 29, 2010 | 1:04 am

    Oh! *sigh* Family vacations! They're torture and fun all at the same time … making memories! Glad you got your hour alone!!!

  4. Kristina P.
    August 29, 2010 | 1:21 am

    How have I never heard of this Oxygen magazine? Is it like the TV network? Does it have trashy chicks getting drunk and sleeping with homeless people?

  5. Gina
    August 29, 2010 | 2:03 am

    Squatting one, two, three… Eat an M+M, Squatting four, five, six, check my butt in the mirror….

  6. Ameena
    August 29, 2010 | 2:29 am

    On my trip to Turks and Caicos last year my hair was such a frizzy mess that NOTHING could help it. I put it in a ponytail and just gave up.

    I wanted to marry Andrew McCarthy. I had a huge crush on him and his cute BMW.

    I have cellulite too if it makes you feel any better! Welcome back!

  7. Allyson & Jere
    August 29, 2010 | 3:30 am

    Ok, your random thought pattern, written on paper = GOOD TIMES! No really, I laughed. I enjoy stream of conscious like that.

    Glad you survived your vacay and are back in the comfy confines of your own home.

  8. Allyson & Jere
    August 29, 2010 | 3:30 am

    Ok, your random thought pattern, written on paper = GOOD TIMES! No really, I laughed. I enjoy stream of conscious like that.

    Glad you survived your vacay and are back in the comfy confines of your own home.

  9. Opto-Mom
    August 29, 2010 | 3:45 am

    I've given up on banishing cellulite from my butt. Now I just look at the bright side of it….it give my ass "texture." And that's ever so important!

  10. Jennifer
    August 29, 2010 | 6:23 am

    This is too funny! Love the blog, love the comments. I love the movie Pretty in Pink! You should come check out my "What's your top 5 favorite movies" post. ;) Don't forget to scroll down the the appropriate music to make it even more nostalgic! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

  11. Debbie(single;complicated)
    August 29, 2010 | 7:32 am

    I LOVE your blog!!! It makes me laugh and smile…!!!! Glad you had a good vacation..!!!

  12. Julianna
    August 29, 2010 | 7:48 am

    Kudos to you on thinking of doing squats… I'd just eat the M&Ms. Disney is the best and worst of both worlds… glad you enjoyed! -J

  13. Mamma has spoken
    August 29, 2010 | 8:37 am

    It sounds like you need another vacation, by yourself, all family left at home, so that you can be on your own time, doing what you want to do, no one telling you it's time to get to another spot.

  14. Happy Mummy
    August 29, 2010 | 12:40 pm

    Sandra.. thank you so much for stopping by at Pinkbibs and I am your new follower :) Am so in love with your blog and wonderful stories!

    I salute you for handling 4 lovely kids so well. I am already struggling with just 1… :)

  15. Magnolia Sun
    August 29, 2010 | 3:25 pm

    Your husband sounds like mine! I get to live with this humidity ALL the time, one reason I have short hair. Glad y'all made home safe.

  16. Annabel Manners
    August 29, 2010 | 3:54 pm

    Your Disney/chain gang comparison made me burst out laughing! Great post.

  17. Theres just life
    August 29, 2010 | 6:49 pm

    Welcome home. Now it is time to relax. The laundry can wait. Sunday is suppose to be a day of rest, right.

  18. Matty
    August 29, 2010 | 8:10 pm

    Depending on how a vacation goes, you can wind up needing a vacation to recover from the vacation. Glad to see you survived, and I'm sure there are many more stories to tell.

  19. Annah
    August 29, 2010 | 8:26 pm

    I'm from Florida and Disney gives me a migraine, and actually, I think it gave me a one when I was a kid as well. Also…. lmao at your comment about the frizz ball hair. GIRL! That's Florida for you. Big poofy naps 24-7. I hate it :( How's one supposed to look hot when your hair looks like you stuck your middle finger in an electrical socket? The horror, I tell ya'.

  20. Lourie
    August 29, 2010 | 9:02 pm

    AH yes, Kiefer! Andrew McCarthy is just one of those cuties.

    Photoshopped beyond reality.

    I would love an hour to myself on the beach. Maybe I will sneak away and go! Think anyone will notice?

  21. Debbie
    August 29, 2010 | 9:33 pm

    Ih those were the days for us too. Trips to Disney…well they were an adventure for sure…and not always fun!!~ One year a bird pooped on my older boys head when he was three, he so deserved it and my husband and I laughed our asses off!!~ He still remembers it…not Mickey of course the bird!

  22. Mr. Goodwill Hunting
    August 29, 2010 | 9:57 pm

    This post makes me want to wait 5 yrs…10 years…20? Before having children…

    Joking…Tho I am serious about being a follower.

    Mr. Goodwill Hunting

  23. Jennifer Juniper
    August 29, 2010 | 10:22 pm

    I have convinced myself that evry woman who ever looked good in a picture is photoshopped. And while part of me knows that I'm lying out of my cellulite ridden ass, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

  24. Amy
    August 29, 2010 | 10:31 pm

    What great memories…family vacations! I so love them, but yes, a ton of work and preparation!

    I'll have to check out Oxygen magazine. The only ones I'm familiar with are scrapbooking ones.

  25. Midwestern Mama Holly
    August 30, 2010 | 12:04 am

    Disney was an idea spawned by Satan and born in the deepest bowels of hell. Other than that, its a damned good time.

  26. sexylegsandbody
    August 30, 2010 | 4:01 am

    Welcome home and thanks for the funny post. Actually you made my day earlier when you commented on my last post, thanks!!. But to sum up this post, yes, lots of photoshop is used to make the cellulite disappear, so dont feel bad. And yes, it is ok to pee in the ocean, no one will notice. I am equally sure your hubby doesnt notice the cellulite any more than I notice stretchmarks on my wife. As long as you paint your toenails…hehe…
    I truly enjoyed Young Guns, but then I love any good western, they are my fav's.

    Great post, thanks for sharing.

    Have a lovely week.

  27. Betty Manousos @ CUT AND DRY
    August 30, 2010 | 7:56 am

    Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment.
    I love this post, brilliant.. so beautifully written! :) We all need our "my" time.
    Glad you had a good vacation.

    Hope you have a great week ahead!


  28. nitebyrd
    August 30, 2010 | 8:44 am

    Glad you survived and got home safe. Florida is known for the destructive effects on hair due to the oppressive heat and humidity. We try not to tell tourists beforehand, though.

    I think all mothers need a NON-Family vacation. Where they go to a resort of their choice totally alone for a week.

  29. Mike
    August 30, 2010 | 10:39 am

    glad you had a good vacation. Go ahead and pee in the ocean, you won't make it any saltier. lol

  30. Poppy
    August 30, 2010 | 11:13 am

    I have cellulite because there are cookie crumbs in all the creases of my Oxygen magazines.

  31. McKenzie
    August 30, 2010 | 11:36 am

    You made it home safe, in one piece, and sane =] Yay!

  32. Danielle
    August 30, 2010 | 2:48 pm

    Lol and your hour of Oxygen. I gave up my obsession with that magazine when the dents in my ass became apparent and the magazine made me mad seeing all of those perfect women!

  33. Together We Save
    August 30, 2010 | 4:26 pm

    Glad you have a little vacation time… I have never even heard of Oxygen Magazine… I will have to check it out.

  34. Another Day of Crazy
    August 30, 2010 | 6:28 pm

    I used to try and multi-task and do squats in the shower while letting the conditioner sit… til my youngest walked in one day and said "Mama! Don't poop in the shower!"

  35. Sara @ Domestically Challenged
    August 30, 2010 | 10:40 pm

    I love your POV! Now, oxygen? Whatever, right? I do a million leg things a week too. Except I love peanut butter. Maybe they don't?

  36. Semi-Slacker Mom
    August 31, 2010 | 10:39 am

    It's "mount up" not "saddle up". Trust me, the only thing my brother & I ever did together was learn every single line in that movie. Where do you think I got my lovely language? Sounds like you had my kind of vacay. Sorry! :)

  37. jenn@peacelovemommy
    September 1, 2010 | 1:05 pm

    how funny that my post totally coincided with yours about the flat iron…. dont let me fool u girl. i would cry if mine broke!

    thanks for the add, im your newest follwer right back atcha!

  38. Janellaaaaa
    September 2, 2010 | 1:59 am

    I would just like to say that I don't think I saw the F word in there anywhere. Are you sure you're ok?

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