Fierce competitor in the making

This is Zoe, my daughter. She is a ballerina. Enjoys reading. Swimming. Long walks on the beach… oops, that’s me.
Zoe is quiet, reserved, and painfully shy, except when she’s on the stage dancing.
What I did not realize about this girl, is that she is fiercely competitive.
The other day, a friend of hers came over for the afternoon. The little girl started browsing through Zoe’s books.
Then she asked, “How many books have you read this summer?”
Zoe replied, “Five or six.”
The girl said, “I’ve read 36.”
Zoe said, “Oh” in that quiet way she has of seeming utterly uninterested.
Later on that day, we go the library. Zoe takes out 13 books. I don’t say anything or even react because I do that too. I go to the library and gravitate towards all the pretty, shiny book covers. By the time I walk out, I have to look around the stack in my arms to avoid tripping over the curb. So I figure Zoe has inherited my habit of bitting off more than she can chew.
Well, turns out that Zoe has inherited more than that.
Two days after we went to the library, Zoe has read 11 of the 13 books.
When her geeky little friend comes back, Zoe promptly shows her the library books she had checked out. The friend looks through them, and pauses when she sees the length of two of them.
“You’re going to read this?” the girl says.
“I have read it,” Zoe replies.
“Oh, well, I don’t read books that are that long.”
Although Zoe would never admit it, I could tell by her subsequent swagger as she walked out of the house with the little girl, that she now felt superior.
That my friends, was an ass-kicking at a 10 year old, quiet girl, painfully shy level.
And I couldn’t have been prouder!
Because I am ruled by my ego!
And then this brings me to the book I’m still trying to plow through “Eat Pray Love” in which the author describes her meditation process, explaining how difficult it is to attain this specific level of… I don’t even know what I would call it. Some kind of higher self where you see this blue light in the middle of your brain, which is supposed to be God.
Yeah. Whatever.
She goes on to describe how ego prevents the higher self from coming forth. So I’m thinking that this makes perfect sense, because if I’m dwelling on how pretty I am, how can my higher self possibly present itself… because my higher self is probably looking at me too thinking how pretty I am. Right?
So as I’m reading this, I’m like, “I need to get beyond my ego. I need to discover my higher self. And I want to see that blue light. Anyway, how hard can it be to ditch my ego. I could meditate. I could reach that higher level. I could see that blue light faster than the author did. Just because she wrote a book about her journey does not mean she’s better than me. I can feel my higher self coming forth already!”
Then as I’m thinking this, I’m also thinking, “Dumbass. You are so ruled by your ego. Always trying to outdo everyone. What makes you think you can meditate better than someone who has been doing it for years.”
Then as I’m thinking of ways to be the best meditator in the fucken land, I also get to thinking about how I haven’t weight trained in a few days, and my arms are probably starting to look flabby. And if I start getting all saggy, how difficult will it be to get back into shape?
And then my ego rears its very adorable head with the perfectly straightened hair, and says, “You’re a fucken loser. Put that book away and go do some goddamn pushups.”
And so I did. 
Did you like this? Share it:
12 Responses to Fierce competitor in the making
  1. theTsaritsa
    August 13, 2010 | 1:39 am

    haha! I like your style, and your daughter sounds like a little badass :) I was shy too, but you outgrow it when you get older.

    I've heard a lot about that book, but I don't want to read it on principle. Like, good for you that you can quit your job and travel all around the world, it must be nice to be rich! Also, I know this has nothing to do with the book, but I can't stand Julia Roberts and I would probably have her face in my head the whole time reading!

  2. Matty
    August 13, 2010 | 2:03 am

    Never underestimate the power of the competitive spirit in someone. She might be quiet and shy, but determination is a powerful weapon. Sounds like she has the roots of success inside her.

    Like mother, like daughter.

  3. Jen
    August 13, 2010 | 3:08 am

    Haha, your daughter is awesome.

  4. Mamma has spoken
    August 13, 2010 | 10:13 am

    Zoe rocks in a great way!!! sounds like my kind of chick. Oh and push ups? I can't do one. Unless you count the ones I can do standing up, with my arms pushing on the wall instead of the floor;o)

  5. sexylegsandbody
    August 13, 2010 | 10:57 am

    Hi Sandra,
    thanks for the great comment, always great to hear readers agree with my posts.

    Glad I could inspire you to paint your toenails… :)
    I hope you are going to post pics after you have done the painting… or better yet, let your hubby take the pics, I am sure he will have a great time getting you back for always wanting to post pics of him.

    Thanks again for the kind words, have a lovely weekend.


  6. ~Lisa~
    August 13, 2010 | 10:59 am

    OH My love the story hehe. Your girl is smart. Its the quiet ones that are the thinkers. (= Thanks for stopping by my site thru the nestwork!

  7. citymouse
    August 13, 2010 | 11:31 am

    You have way more discipline than I do. Your daughter is going places, I am sure!

  8. brainella
    August 13, 2010 | 11:51 am

    That kid rocks. :-)

    Eat Pray Love. Nothing like a whiny rich woman who complains about trying to find her inner self while traveling abroad for three months. Get over yourself, lady. Life's not that complicated.

  9. Heather
    August 13, 2010 | 9:47 pm

    I am struggling with that book too. The eating is the only part that really appealed to me.

    Your daughter rocks!! Quiet competitive is always more dangerous than loud.

  10. Vodka Logic
    August 14, 2010 | 10:42 am

    I love your daughter that is so cool.. and be glad it is books they are competing over and not boys.

  11. Kate Coveny Hood
    August 14, 2010 | 2:35 pm

    Competitive reading – I love it! I didn't realize how competitive I was until I was an adult. Now I just see how passive agressive I've always been about it. Better to own it early on.

  12. Cameron
    August 14, 2010 | 8:40 pm

    Zoe sounds great! I love the quiet kids that are secretly freaking awesome! I think I was like that…

    Oh wait, I was the loud kid who didn't shut up ever. Oh well.

    You've successfully turned me off to Eat Pray Love. The book version at least. I got it & had a hard time starting it & now I feel confident that I wouldn't love it. But I do think I'd like the movie.

Leave a Reply

Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

Trackback URL ../../2010/08/fierce-competitor-in-making.html/trackback