Zen…what is this Zen you talk about?

I am exhausted. I’ve been on the go with my studies, the kids, my life for… well, quite some time now. I even wrote a post the other day about my inability to slow down. I’m always telling my friends to “just breathe,” but this is something I probably only do when I’m sleeping. The rest of the time, I’m pretty sure I’m getting through the day on one breath.
So upon reading this post, my beautiful friend Jen from bootyandbrains suggested that I needed to get a little more “zen.” A connectedness between body and mind. Or in my world, at the very least, this would mean that I would slow the fuck down.

Ok. No problem.

I told Wayne, le husband, that this was my plan for today. I’m relaxing. I’m taking the day to lounge around, read my book, not doing any housework, not even preparing any meals. I can do this.

My family thought this was funny. So funny in fact that my oldest took it upon himself to document my day of “zen.”

Whatever. Suit yourselves. You’ll just end up feeling like idiots at the end of it when all you’ve gotten are pictures of me with my feet up.

I did pretty good for the first part of the day. I slept in till about 10ish. And a good sleep in. Not the kind where I actually awaken at 7:30 and tell myself, “I really should get up. I could be making cinnamon buns. I could be out running. I could be blogging about how I should be getting up.” Not today. Straight sleep.

This is the first picture that Wyatt took of me…

Wyatt: What are you doing?
Me: I’m taking the dog for a walk.
Wyatt: Looks to me like you’re dressed for a run.
Me: Nope. Just a walk. The dog needs to get some exercise.
Wyatt: Are you sure you aren’t going for a run? How long of a run are you going for? I thought you were relaxing today. Getting all zen.
Me: Get lost.
I did make up for this later on, though. I didn’t make anybody any lunch. I told everyone to just eat baggles when they got hungry. See. That’s sort of zen.
Then I laid on the couch and read. This is not something I usually do in the middle of the afternoon. That’s zen, right.

Wyatt: Mom. What are you doing?
Me: I’m reading. My book. Eclipse.
Wyatt: Terran is laying on you. Terran get off of Mom, she’s trying to be zen today.
Terran: I’m playing. I’m Indiana Jones.
Wyatt: Mom, you can’t be zen when you have a kid climbing on you. Tell him to get off.
Me: I am zen. See, I’m reading.
~thumping sound as Terran is pushed to the floor~

Clearly though, I wasn’t going to get very zen in a public area, so I decided to try napping.

Me: Wyatt, get out of here. I’m trying to nap.
Wyatt: No you aren’t. You’re in here blogging. I so knew you couldn’t handle a day of doing nothing!
Me: I’m not blogging. I’m… Get lost.
Wyatt: Are you going to weight train? I thought you were napping?

Me: I did…
Wyatt: You were in your room for 10 minutes.
Me: Power nap.
Wyatt: You so cannot handle zen. You’re like a zen failure.
Me: Get lost.

Ok. So clearly being zen in my own home is not going to happen. But I’m proud to report I left everyone at home, and met my friend, fellow Twilight-junkie, at the movies to watch Eclipse for the third time.

And at this point, a zen-like state was impossible. Although I was feeling something akin to euphoria during the first scene of Edward in the meadow. When he asked Bella to marry him, I almost yelled out, “I’ll marry you Edward!” But I didn’t, because the guy next to me was already shooting me dirty looks because I had clapped when Edward first appeared on the screen.

Then I came home. Not zen-like, but definitely giddy with the remnants of lust I had experienced at the sight of Edward. I flitter into the living room towards Wayne, and I’m thinking, “Buddy, you are so going to get lucky,” but…BUT no sooner does he spot my beaming expression, he starts in on, “I didn’t stop all night! I came home from work” -which I might add was five minutes after I had left for the movies – “and one of the dogs had pooped over there, the dishes weren’t done, it was just horrible in here.”

Okeydokey. No longer euphoric, zen-like, or horny.

So tomorrow we’ll try focussing on different emotions.
Annoyed. Cranky. And bitchy. I think those will come more easily for me.

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19 Responses to Zen…what is this Zen you talk about?
  1. Terry
    July 30, 2010 | 7:42 am

    Isn't that the way it goes? Right when you feel awesome and are ready to give out to the spouse….yep…they blow it!! geesh!! I gave up zen…and I'm totally into the bitchy cranky part!
    Thanks for the follow! Right back atcha!

  2. JennyJenJen
    July 30, 2010 | 8:07 am

    Zen guru here-

    you are not a zen failure! Tell wyatt the guru says so.. and she also says that he's funny and has a possible career of investigative photojournalism in his future.

    PS ohmygah i get linked in this blog AND my own blog tag label doohickey? sweet! You're the best. and holy fuck your abs are killing me. Dammit im getting off the couch now. end zen. enter crunches.

  3. Steph S.
    July 30, 2010 | 9:40 am

    This post made me crack up more than a few times! I've tried the zen test, too – just not happening!

    I'm dying for some Robert Pattinson, I'm trying to set aside a couple hours for some brownies & a Twilight/New Moon/Remember Me movie marathon. Eclipse 3 times?!?!? I'm so jealous!

    New follower from Friday-Follow! Hopefully i haven't creeped you out with my endless comments! ha ha :)

  4. Theresa
    July 30, 2010 | 12:20 pm

    I am your newest follower from Follow Me Friday

  5. Trish
    July 30, 2010 | 3:56 pm

    thanks for dropping by my blog to say hello!

    And what is Zen again????? I never get past the Z before I am Zzzzzzzzz(dead asleep)

    Have a great weekend!

  6. Mommyfriend Lori
    July 30, 2010 | 10:06 pm

    Zen failure! Love it, that would be me, hee hee. Annoyed, cranky, bitchy…yep, those come pretty easily to me too. Love it, great post.

  7. Pamela
    July 30, 2010 | 11:02 pm

    I'm pretty sure the whole Zen thing only works if you don't have kids.
    On a totally unrelated note – Dude, your arms? I'd kill for arms like that!!

  8. Sherri
    July 30, 2010 | 11:44 pm

    zen won't happen in my home either.
    Following you from Follow Me Friday.

    Come visit me too

  9. Poppy
    July 31, 2010 | 1:03 am

    I read this earlier today (after teenage boys from the skate park yelled at me that I had fat thighs on my morning run, FUCKERS) and couldn't think of anything nice to say to you and you're perfect little body so I hopped in bed with Ben & Jerry and got all zen like myself. You're lucky you had that sweatshirt on, or you would lose me forever the jealous little bitch (with fat thighs apparently) that I am.

  10. Rachel Cotterill
    July 31, 2010 | 7:59 am

    I love the sound of your zen day! But maybe everyone else needs to be zen, too? ;)

  11. Kat
    July 31, 2010 | 9:03 am

    Teehee! You are awesome! You did give it a hell of a try, huh? Why can't we slow down? I keep thinking when my classes end I am going to be wondering, ok, what's next? I mean, how much cleaning, cooking and biking will I be able to do in a week?? I will need something to fill my time after I get a job and don't have to study every night! Borders here I come!

  12. love jenny xoxo
    July 31, 2010 | 10:03 am

    well at least you tried right? I'm really enjoying your blog! Can't wait to read more! XOXO

  13. Dawn
    July 31, 2010 | 10:40 am

    Great post! I love your blog! I am following from follow friday ( a little late) and just wanted to say hi:)

  14. Kerri
    July 31, 2010 | 10:37 pm

    I haven't seen Zen in a very long time. I miss her.

    Stopping over from Friday Follow…thanks for visiting me.

    I'm happily following you as well.
    Have a great weekend.

  15. Glam-O-Mommy
    July 31, 2010 | 11:38 pm

    I just gave you a blog award, Sandra–check it out! http://glam-o-mommy.blogspot.com/2010/07/winning-award-and-making-friends.html

  16. sexylegsandbody
    August 1, 2010 | 1:22 am

    First of all, thanks for your supportive comment, so glad to get your input.

    I have read through most of your blog, or should I say some, too much to read in such a short a time, but my eye caught the post on wear something that suits your age. I have posted on the subject some time ago, and I wonder, when are you out of the age to dress sexy? Is there such a time… I say crap, you dress the way you feel, as long as you dont run around half naked through a kinder garden, then what is the problem..

    I wanna read some more of your site, but am pressed for time for now, will come back later.

    Hope your weekend goes well.

    Ps, couldnt help but notice the expression on the little dog's face in the door, he is like wondering what your big dog has that he hasnt got…hehe…

  17. Cinderella
    August 1, 2010 | 10:38 am

    OMG! You are hilarious! Thanks for viting for following my blog, I hope you visit often!


  18. Reluctant Writer
    August 1, 2010 | 3:51 pm

    I agree that zen is for people who doesn't have kids. Buy hey atleast you gave it a try. I give you a A+ for looking so great. Telling myself right now I better get off the computer and exercise. I hope your having a relaxful weekend minus the zen.

  19. Lindsay @ http://pancakesnpajamas.blogspot.com/
    August 1, 2010 | 4:23 pm

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm loving yours. Can't wait to read more!

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