So I’m supposed to write about things I love…not sure if it’s things I love in general or things I love on Thursdays, or things I love on this particular Thursday. And since I’m not known for being able to make up my mind, I’m just going to make this a Top 5 Things that I Love… you know you wanna read this, you just know it!
1. I love suntanning. I love it when the heat sears into my ageing skin.
I know it’s bad for me. I know I can get skin cancer. I know I’ll look like an alligator before I’m 50. I
know I’ll end up looking like one of those elderly snowbirds who winter in Florida, their skin hanging in
folds down to their knees from years of vacationing in the south for 6 months at a time, you know the
look I’m talking about…
2. I love my abs… oh right, I’ve already mentioned this once. Or twice. Ok, well, let me just say that I love
them even more when they’re tanned… ahem… people, blog about narcissism, don’t expect the meaning
of life here, I’m just sayin’…
3. I love my sleeping pills. Funny thing to love, I know. But I’ve had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep
for as long as I can remember. Restless leg syndrome. Comedians make fun of this, but it’s real. Imagine
River Dance. Only horizontally.
Last year, after years of tripping over the bags under my eyes, a doctor took me seriously, prescribed
medication, which has as an added bonus, a sedative. Three cheers for sleeping through the sound of
“Moooom! I want some water!” Now I don’t even have to yell back, “Go get it yourself!” I just don’t
4. I love watching myself lift weights. I know, right, who in their right mind would ever admit that? Well, I win
the booby prize.
When I go to the gym, I’ll stand next to the big bulky guys flexing their massive chests in front of those
mirrors, and I’ll be like, “Dude, move over. Can’t you see I’m checking myself out too.”
Honestly, I get more pleasure out of seeing their reaction, they’re all like, “WTF…” and they scurry away,
not sure what the crazy lady bicep curling the 3 lb weight is going to do. Ya run MOFO!
5. I love what is refered to as my “Treat Day.” This is the day when I don’t worry about calories, fat grams,
carbs, or sugar content. This is my free-for-all day. I have given an example in one of my previous posts
http://absolutelynarcissism.blogspot.com/2010/07/something-new.html of what I am capable of
consuming on one of these days. I probably should be ashamed of the fact that I have a day reserved
especially for the consumption of fat grams and sugar. But nope. Kind of proud of it.