To quit or not to quit…

Today’s “Simple Abundance” task is about embracing gardening, and how the act of gardening allows one to get in touch with feelings. The act of digging into the ground unites the soul with…blah blah blah

Yawn.

Nope. That’s not happening.

I don’t garden.

1. It’s dirty: I have two cats and I am never the one to clean the litter box. I’d sooner go out and buy one of those boxes that comes prefilled with litter before I’ll go digging around in there for nuggets. I am not about to do so in a dirt patch – aka: giant litter box - hoping to grow vegetables and flowers.

2. I am not crawling around on my hands and knees. If God had intended for us to be in that position he wouldn’t have invented spines.

3. This is Winnipeg. I would get air-lifted into the next yard by mosquitoes.

So no. No gardening. No spiritual awakening via manure.

It would seem my “Simple Abundance” journey isn’t going so well. But I refuse to quit. I’ll stick it out, yes I will. I’m bound and determined to get through this damn book of comfort and joy if it’s the last thing I do.

See, quitting is sort of what I’m known for. I’m the butt of many family jokes. I’m the girl who can’t commit:

-several… dozens of boyfriends (Shout out to my first sweetheart Rob!)
-two… maybe 3 engagements
-2 marriages

When I got married the first time, my relatives had bets going on how long it would last. Five years was the longest. I went 7. But in my defense, he was a moron. I should have won the ten bucks for lasting 2 years more than they had predicted.

I’ve started home businesses. Two. First one was a gift basket business. I even had my own website for it called All In a Pretty Box.com. Isn’t that catchy! And it got a lot of hits and not just because people mistook the name for a porn site.

But I got bored of packing and wrapping and sending. And I kept eating the supplies and using the scented candles.

Then I had a cake-baking business. It was called Fancy That. I went to Michael’s and took all of the cake decorating courses. Gained a ton of weight licking icing off my fingers. I went to craft fairs and markets peddling my pretty cupcakes and cleverly decorated cookies.

Problem with cake decorating is that it’s very time-consuming. One 3-tier cake would take me over 8 hours to make and decorate.

And then delivering it! Wayne, my husband, would drive very slowly, avoiding potholes and red lights while I’d hold this 60 lb. monstrosity on my lap. Wayne woudln’t take his eyes off the road and I wouldn’t take mine off the cake. The whole time he would say: “What are you gonna do if it topples in your lap? What are you gonna do if it topples in your lap?” Very helpful.

By the time we’d get to our destination, my arms were cramped from clenching the cake tray. All of that for 75 bucks. We’d deliver the cake, then we’d have enough for chinese food and a case of beer.

I’ve been an aerobics instructor, a daycare provider, a receptionist, a telephone operator, a salesperson, a telemarketer.

I’ve been a student several times. I’ve studied French literature, English literature, translation, creative writing. I’m currently in nursing, but loved my Native Studies course so maybe I’ll quit nursing and advocate for Aboriginal rights.

I’ve done half-marathons, joined track teams, body building competitions. All in search of that feeling. You know, that feeling! The one you get when you’ve accomplished something truly fantastic. I’m inspired by the song “The Climb”… ok, so it’s sung by Hannah Montana and was written by a guy who once sung about wanting his mullet back. But the message is clear to me: I won’t be happy till I’ve conquered that mountain.

But in my defence, I’m not a complete and utter quitter.

I have completed two novels.

I’ve had four kids. And I’ve kept them. Haven’t gotten bored or forgotten one of them at the mall… well, that’s not true. I did forget Jackson at McDonald’s once. But he didn’t have to chase the car for long before I noticed him in my rearview mirror. Bought him a treat at Dollarama afterwards to make it up to him, so it’s all good. Doesn’t count.

All of this to say that I can get through “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort of Joy.” It’s just that the month of June may be a little tough.

Still not going to garden though. The closest I’ll get to nature is sitting on my lounge chair, leafing through my Oxygen magazine.

But aren’t you excited to see what tomorrow will bring? So many possibilities! Maybe Ms. Sarah Ban Breathnach will encourage me to roll around among the dandylions in order to channel my inner bumblebee!

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