Dirty little secret…

As previously mentioned, I’m a nursing student. Tomorrow I have a 10-12 page paper due in my law and ethics class. For those of you who are actually wondering what this class is about…yeah, I’m not interested either, but I’ll explain it anyway… this class is designed to harp on and on and on again teach that it’s not good to unnecessarily sedate patients just so you won’t have to listen to them complain. I know, right? That sucks.

But instead of spending the day writing this effin paper (no need for gratuitous profanity today, I’m feeling much calmer than I did yesterday after that fucken field trip…oops, residual expletive) I have been blog hopping. Did you know there are all these funky blogs out there that do nothing but promote other blogs. You go to them, click on the ‘follow’ button, and then the blogger from that blog returns the favour. It’s fantastic!

Mind you, it’s not like I needed the encouragement. Ever since I discovered blogging a few weeks ago, I’ve become addicted to my laptop. As previously mentioned in another post… and no, I’m not going to shamelessly plug that previous post (http://absolutelynarcissism.blogspot.com/2010_06_23_archive.html) I’m nosey  very interested in what people have to say. I’m the type of person that will ask you so many questions, you won’t even be finished answering one before I’m shooting the next one off at you. Surprising, right, since I’m a narcissist. You’d think I wouldn’t care about you and your interests.

Really I don’t.

I’m just supremely competitive, as previously mentioned (http://absolutelynarcissism.blogspot.com/2010/06/to-quit-or-not-to-quit.html ) and my questions are a means of comparing myself to you. How many kids you got? Three? I have four. I win. How many times you’ve been married? Only once? I’ve been married twice. You lose.

Now though, I can think of nothing else but blogging. It’s making me realize I have a highly addictive personality. I better stay away from crack-cocaine or I’d be two hits away from sitting on the curb downtown playing rock/paper/scissors with Homeless Joe.

I’ve been putting off everything in order to sit in front of this screen and see who else is out there. There are some really terrific bloggers; people I log into first thing in the morning to see if they’ve put up a new post, people I feel a dorky kindred connection to. There’s Poppy over at http://www.funnyorsnot.com/ . She was my first positive comment. I guess you never forget your first, right… actually, I have sort of forgotten my first. Can’t remember his name, but I do remember he had really hairy arm pits and needed his eyebrows waxed in the worst way.

Meanwhile, my house is falling apart. I opened up the microwave this morning and let out a blood curdling scream when I saw the shit stuck on in there. Fuck! I don’t have time to chisel that out, it’s Follow-Me-Back-Tuesday.

And my kids. I haven’t looked at them straight in the face in about a week. I’m hidden away in my bedroom. They think I’m studying or working on papers for school. They don’t dare come in because Wayne, who also thinks I’m up here doing important nursing stuff, hollers out to them anytime they set foot at the top of the stairs, “Stay away from Mom, she’s studying!” This is fabulous!

When they do manage to sneak their way inside the room, I listen to them (not really) but my eyes are glued to pretty colours and designs, and while they’re telling me about… actually, not quite sure what they’re telling me about because I’m busy trying to figure out how to get fancy gadgets working on my site with music and shiny lights.

At one point today, when I could not for the life of me bullshit my way through an assignment in which a 59 year old man with decreased lung capacity is smoking, but needs extra care, but the nurse assigned to his case is struggling with the morals of not wanting to lobby for extra home care for him, because why should she, right? He’s a smoker with half a lung. He’s bad. The government shouldn’t be paying so he can have home care if he can’t even stop smoking…

…yawn… you still with me? See? This is the kind of shit I have to contend with. I’m supposed to get all sanctimonious and advocate for my patient because it’s his right to smoke even though he’s got one foot in the grave, and blah blah blah…geez, give the guy a carton of cigarettes, see how long you’ll actually have to have home care at his place. He’ll keel over in no time.

I would rather be blogging. I just would. I even cancelled a lunch date with my friend Joanne so I’d have more time to blog. A lunch date! I love eating out.

At one point today, I actually considered getting my friend’s father, who is a physician in his own family practice, to write me a note for class saying that I hadn’t finished the paper in time because my father passed away.
Well, he did! Fifteen years ago. But still. It’s not like I got a free pass for anything back then. Don’t I get to use it now?
So now you know. You know that I’m a blogging whore. I’ll stop at nothing to increase my following. No topic is sacred. Nobody is safe. If I can exploit you for a cheap laugh, I will. Stay away from me. I’m a bad bad person.
Ok, so I’m off to pack my camera in my purse. Never know what dumbass thing I’ll be able to post tomorrow. So much to look forward to.
And now back to the paper about the old fart with half a lung…

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12 Responses to Dirty little secret…
  1. Momma Fargo
    June 30, 2010 | 8:44 am

    Following you back! Thanks for following me. And it is a struggle for me to stay in shape as a police officer. LOL. Getting old…things go south. :)

  2. Poppy
    June 30, 2010 | 11:19 am

    I'm not a very hairy girl, but my eybrows are in serious need of a wax so I do have that in common with your first. However, I always take time to shave the pits.

    Thanks for the shout out. Just wait until you start getting more active on Twitter, you may flunk out. I'd keep up the facade that I was enrolled though to get the private time for blogging though. My husband is on vacation for 2 weeks (but at home and now going anywhere) which is seriously putting a crimp in my online social life. Needy bastard. Seriously, Twitter is an excellent way to boost your following too. Make sure you post a link every time you post.

  3. The Random Blogette
    June 30, 2010 | 11:58 am

    You just started blogging a few weeks ago and already have 54 followers (yes I am 54). Dude! That is awesome! Blogging is like crack to me too so I can understand!

  4. Shelley T.
    June 30, 2010 | 1:24 pm

    I am completely addicted too and many times when I should be doing my homework I am blogging!

    New follower http://bigjandlittlej.blogspot.com/

  5. JennyJenJen
    June 30, 2010 | 9:54 pm

    you make me laugh and snort and all sorts of other sillyness :D

  6. Ms Bibi
    June 30, 2010 | 10:46 pm

    Welcome to the dark side…..mwaahahaha.Once blogging sucks you in it's hard to quit and last time I checked….no rehabs.

    As much as I love my children they get in the way of blogging with constant nagging about dinner not being ready, going to school in dirty clothes, forgetting them at school….sheesh. Good thing hubs works out of province otherwise he would be on my case too.

  7. Pamela
    June 30, 2010 | 10:53 pm

    You're hilarious! I gotta admit though, I've done the exact things as you – ignoring the housework, kids & husband in order to get my blog fix. It is definitely an addiction.

  8. Julia
    July 1, 2010 | 11:50 am

    Bwwwahahaha! I read to the end…you are hilarious! I'm addicted as well!

  9. JennyJenJen
    July 1, 2010 | 3:05 pm

    problem: I am having trouble following you. I AM following your blog, I know I am. But your posts dont come up under my google reader.. grrr.. So I dont get to read your delicious posts until days later when i remember to check your url. I realize there probably isn't anything you can do about this, but Im venting. bah!


  10. Semi-Slacker Mom
    July 1, 2010 | 9:22 pm

    I am going back to school. or at least pretending to b/c there's no way in hell I'm doing all that studying again!

    Congrats on drinking the kool-aid!

  11. The Mayor!
    July 2, 2010 | 10:48 am

    HA! You DON'T win! It's a frikkin tie, I have 4 kids & been married twice too!! hahahahahaha! Funny, I began Crazy Town as a way to get a stinkin life outside of 4 rugrats as well…instead, I have even less of a life living in my lap top these days. Screw it, like the housework is EVER gonna go away no matter how often we do it right??!! So glad to find you & have on board the Friday funny! I think you & I are gonna get along JUST FINE baby!


  12. Helena
    July 4, 2010 | 6:33 pm

    OK, I can see why you're so addicted! You are good! The one that had me LMAO was how you view housework now. Who has time to chisel out microwaves when the blog calls? I wish I was my sister, who has a nanny to do all that. (Since I have nothing to brag or compete with you about, I'll shamelessly use the fam!)She really doesn't even like blogging all that well!

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